


Zombie Love Story?

by Emo Emmy



Category: Zombieland
Genre: Adventure, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-08
Updated: 2013-08-08
Packaged: 2013-11-12 07:00:38
Rating: M
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,773
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9578115/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/4990947/Emo-Emmy
Summary: Imagine Zombieland, with a mix of a love story and if you've heard of it "Green Day 'The Forgotten' [Video Contest Finalist]s" Music Video. Its a mixture of those three...





	Zombie Love Story?

"Zombie Story"

Day 30: My morning started out like any other, the blinding sun was shining, the three thousand birds that were outside were chirping nonstop and my stomach was growling like a bear that woke up from its winter sleep. Forcing myself out of bed, only because I needed food, I slid out of my sheets and onto the floor because i was too lazy to get up. I walked into the kitchen trying to avoid the bathroom mirror for fear of what i looked like this morning. Then I realized I forgot to buy cereal for breakfeast. Throwing on my hoodie and converse, half attempting to brush my matted black hair i jumped in the car and drove off towards the store. Theres a gas station about half a mile away from my apartment which has some minor grocery items inside each for a dollar. Normally when going in there I'll see Mac the old guy who runs the gas station, Macs got short grey hair hes half blind and hes got an eye thats brown and one thats blue. This morning was different though, Mac wasnt behind the corner, and the store looked like somebody had ransacked the place. I yelled for Mac to see if anyone was here, and at first i recieved no answer. I jumped over the counter and stepped on something. Then I saw him. It wasnt Mac though, it was his nephew Jason. He was as pale as a ghost and his eyes were bright red.. he was dead. Distracted by that, I heard a weird growling noise, I turn around to find what was a shell of Mac. He wasnt alive anymore. He wasnt Mac anymore. He was a zombie. Next thing I know I find myself trying to lock the bathroom door and then beating Mac with the toilet seat... then i hightailed my ass out of there. I thought two words.. Zombie Apocolypse. Day 29: After what had happened yesterday i took a bunch of cold pills and passed out hoping i just ate some bad salmon or something but that wasnt true. Scrounging around my house the next morning I looked for my cell phone realizing I left it at the store, and i sure as hell wasnt gonna go back for it. With the fiasco with Mac and Jason I wasnt taking any chances so I barricaded myself in my own house, becoming a prisoner in my home for saftey reasons. Then it happened. The tightening of my chest, the lack of oxygen, darkness that came over me. Asthma attack, I frantically search for my inhaler which is on the top of my fridge, I manage to crawl towards it only to find that i only have one puff left. I use the puff as if its my lifeline and it probably is.. a flashback from when this happened to me when i was little, the air escaping from my lungs, the room goes dark and i pass out. I just hope this time i dont wake up dead.  
Day 28: Obviously locking myself inside the house and pretending that this isnt happening to me isnt going very well. The only way im going to not die is make a plan to survive no matter what I have to do. Goal A: Get some food without having to beat anyone with a toilet seat again. Goal B: If needed hold up a drugstore and get a lifetime supply of asthma drugs. Goal C: Do not die. Thats all i got. After watching my endless supply of zombie movies and taking notes on everything that could help me I plan out my survival and packing plan. Im gonna need, food, water, weapons, ammo, and a backpack. I need to pack light. I figure i wont need any money considering mostly everyone except for a kid with asthma and allergies who lives indoors all the times would be zombie, if i need anything i can just take it and walk out. What are they gonna do to me, bite me? Thats what the toilet seats for.  
Day 27: Driving around in my small town looking for weapons I discover the Big 5 and Wal mart. Well lets see.. Big 5 home of sporting goods and endless weapons or Wal mart home of freaky ass wierdos that come out in the dark with the night stalkers and only has twinkies for weapons.. I picked Big 5.. cant exactly double tap a zombie with a fricken twinkie. Everyone in my towns dead so Big 5's a free for all. Pepper sprays, guns, bats, swim tubes, pool noodles, and the skii poles. All a wonderland for one who is looking for weapons to take out zombies eyes with. This place isnt half as helpful as Cabelas but its just gonna have to do. While wandering around Big 5 I find the skateboards and roller skates. I grab a handfull of each realizing when i run out of gas, Im gonna need them.. they also work nicely as weapons. That point proved well because when i got out of the store i played chinese fire drill with a zombie until i managed to get the car door open, I was still wearing the skates which i used to knock off its head. Day 26: So im driving through a town that i dont even recognize anymore. I grew up here. We had green grasses which are now gray and dead. The skies are dark and full of rain. Theres garbage strewn all over the street and everythings torn to shreds. Body parts are being run over as I drive on the street, I can hear the crunch of boney fingers under my tires. Its getting to the point where i might puke in my glove compartment. I cannot believe im going to the place in town which i call hell. Im going back to the high school. The darkest place of my teenage years. The place where i almost died. If it wasnt falling from the flagpole after my underwear lost all of its elastic it was me trying to throw myself off of the balcony. Right now its the only place that i can think of that has enough rooms for me to hide in. I know that school like my right hand. As I parked outside, I approached the front door with extreme caution because we have HUGE bushes that those freaks of nature could be hiding in. The schools that were once full of the youth and confindence of my peers are now empty. Everything and everyone is gone... and theres silence in the air. While enjoying the moment, the silence is broken with whispered yelling and a gun at my head. Its my friends Jinx and Stephanie who i thought were dead. They'd been hiding in a storage closet making out and doing their "stuff" when everything went down. Jinx being the freak he is, had everything packed in case this were to ever happen. Stephanie on the other hand wasnt so chill. The moment they found me she burst out crying saying how she thought i was dead. Next thing I know theres a football team of zombies chasing after our asses. The sweet sound of lockers slamming zombie heads, fire extinguishers spraying everywhere, and trying to use gravy as a weapon. Then out of the corner of the lunchroom is the most handsome creature id ever seen. His names Grady. Long blond hair, Wet Blue Eyes a really nice body and a mind of a scholar. Perfect. Thank god theres not any competition... because we've liked each other since the fifth grade. Heres my chance.  
Day 25: The wierdest hodge podge group of four school kids crammed inside my moms pontiac. Me: A freaky emo kid with hair that goes down her shoulders and a case of borderline personality disorder and is prone to anxiety attacks and asthma spasms. Stephanie: My best friend on and off since fourth grade, attached at the hip with me and ready and willing to make out with her friends with benefits friend Jinx, shes always worried that im gonna do something really insane. Jinx: Our very hairy and very short man friend. He's got the wisdom of a jedi and the sexuality of a really turned on teenage guy. And Grady my dream guy, dirty blond hair, skinny but not too skinny, and has the cutest hippie style. We plan to drive to Seattle. We're gonna hide out in the space needle and try and see if we can wait it out while we make a plan on where to go next. Hopefully we dont get eaten by zombies on the way there... or if the zombies dont get us, we'll end up going nuts and killing each other off. Day 24: Seattles nice, but its not like home. Unlike home its a pretty large city, we live in a population of one thousand and half are kids. Theres graffiti everywhere.. its like someone let their five year old draw all over the damn walls and buildings. Dont get me wrong i love graffiti as much as the next person, i just dont want it on my house, on my car or on a building that i work in. When i used to watch the news I always saw stories about this city, but now it looks like a wasteland. The zombies are like a tornado destroying city by city. Finding the Space needle wasnt hard considering its height and look. Me and Jinx being the short people we are it looks even bigger than it already is. Usually you would need to pay but when we went to the booth, only the workers arms were available they were stuck to the podium. Climbing to the top of the space needle, i could see all of the pacific northwest almost. There were fingers on the floor and it smelled like death and decay, but it was shelter. It was gonna become our home for the next couple days.  
Day 23: Next morning was a little rough, because we were all a little grouchy from no sleep because of looking out for zombies, and our stomachs were growling. We realized we need food. "The best place to get fresh food in the northwest is Pike place and the fish market. Usually Stephanie being the very healthy eater she is would never eat fish, because its an animal, dying of starvation which in turn would make her weak, letting zombies have a higher chance of getting her. I grabbed a couple salmon, Grady grabbed anything that looked good and would fit in his backpack, while Stephanie and Jinx ran around the store looking for anything that was sweet. While we were in the market, we heard the call of the zombies, luckily Seattle was having its street fair when chaos insued and the lumber jacks fleed and left their chainsaws. Idiots, but helpfull idiots. Time to slice up zombie heads. I chose the go from the zombies brain-to as far as i could go-without getting the blades stuck in organs method. It works. Nice.  
Day 22: The morning after came, with another day of destroying zombies and trying not to die off one by one. I can already see that this new life is getting boring and depressing. We've been doing the same this everyday. Wake up, eat, take our shits and pisses in gas stations, throw zombies off of a ferris wheel or chop em into pieces, eat again, go to sleep and move on to a new place.  
Day 21: We arrived this morning at the ferry docks. For the first time, I'll be on an actual ferry. The windows rolled down, I can smell the salt water and seaweed. The chill of the air shocks the back of my neck bringing up the hairs. As the four of us drive onto the ferry, we look back to kiss our sweet asses goodbye. I thought to myself, great another zombie attack... whoo... i got wayyyy more that i bargained for. Stephanie and me ran upstairs to check out the top deck, and Jinx and Grady took off downstairs looking for any usefull weapons. It was the first time in almost a week that me and stephanie were together without jinx. It was wierd. Awkward. As steph looked around for food, i ran to the bathroom to take a piss. I walked in looking at the floor making sure i wouldnt step in pee. Next thing I know im getting hit with something in the head. I ran into something dangling. Afraid to look up i shake my head to get whatever was on me off, and a note lands at the bottom of my feet. Still refusing to look at the mirror which will show me what i ran into i open the note. It says "Dear whoever found my son, please take of his body. He has no clue what i did to him, you may think im horrible but i had to do it. Jacks a small and weak child. The disease would have ruined him. I put sleeping pills in his juice, and hung him in this bathroom. I then jumped off the boat and sunk myself. I needed to do this in order to save Jack the trauma. Please throw his body in the ocean so he can be with me." -Jacks Father. Oh good lord. I shakingly look in the mirror and now see the dead body of ten year old Jack. As i sit there and stare, his deep piercing blue eyes staring at me, through his long blond hair, I cant help but think what if i did this. What if i just ended it all like Jacks Dad? I cannot stand to look into jacks eyes any longer, I shut his eyelids and walk out of the bathroom shutting the door behind me. I no longer have to pee. I decided against telling the others about Jack. I thought of him as my own little secret. Untouched and innocent. The quiet serenity of jacks body releasal into the ocean was quickly disturbed by Jinx's lady screaming. A fricken sea of one hundred wiener dogs were on that damn boat. Not just one hundred REGULAR wiener dogs, but one hundred fricken ZOMBIE wiener dogs! Of course only on this gosh forsaken ship, does this happen! Needless to say, we jumped off that boat, and when i mean jumped i mean we jumped. As in without our car. We had to swim five miles back to land. Who runs from wiener dogs..?! Well us... Day 20: After our nice little cruise vacation with zombie dogs and our very "exciting" swimming activity we made it to an abandoned wal-mart for refuge. Only a wal-mart, which has food, clothes, weapons, electricity, and is famous for women giving birth. We dried off in the bathroom and ate dinner in the furniture section. Finally we went to sleep in their camping department. Alarm clocks and lanterns in hand we finally got some shut eye. We were dry, pretty well fed, had everything we needed. But somehow we just expected for something else to go wrong.  
Day 19: I woke up early and tiptoed to the showers while the others were sleeping. For the first time in about two weeks, i took a normal shower. I didnt sit in the water at the beach to wash up, i didnt wash my hair in the ocean, i stood in a stall and washed my hair with hot water and shampoo. Now a luxary. I dried myself off in the steamy bathroom and heard that the others were up. I walk out there to find a very pregnant woman sitting in one of our recliners. Her name was Amy. She was nine months pregnant and ready to pop. In shock and having a case of word vomit, the first thing i said was "what is this, where the heart is?" (movie about a pregnant chick in a walmart) Steph punched me in the arm lightly and told me to shut up. Amy told us she'd been hiding in here ever since the disease took over. She was in the walmart when it happened and had been hiding herself in the storage room behind boxes, but came out when she thought she heard voices. Right when im about to ask how we're supposed to feed a now five people Amy starts yelping. Shes freaking out saying make that six people .. because this babies coming! Stephanie shakingly asks "so whose gonna handle this cuz im sure as hell not, How about you Kellin? You watch this stuff anyway." I respond with Me?! Why Me? I guess me being vollunteered for tribute wasnt possible to get out of .. because next thing i knew.. my hands were down there and Amy was screaming at the top of her lungs. The womans just screaming and moaning and crying like shes on one of those really dramatic soap operas. As soon as the head barely starts to come out, Jinx passes out and Grady has to drag him out of there by his feet. I can see the babies head coming out and i REALLY REALLY REALLY dont wanna do this. Stephanie tries to leave and makes an excuse that she wants to help jinx but i grab her by the shirt collar and say "you vollunteered me to do this, if i have to watch this so do you." So Amys screaming that she cant do this.. and i can tell that shes crowning now which is why shes yelling so loud. Shes pushing, im yelling at her to push harder, Stephanies screaming and yelling and trying not to vomit all at the same time. And Jinx is still passed out on the ground. Then. The baby comes out. It cries a little, opens its little brown eyes and stares back at me. Amy names the kid Aubrey. Shes adorable. But im never having kids. After Aubrey was born, Amy started acting wierd. I felt this wet stuff on my pants, it was her blood. She was just pouring blood. Before Amy died she made all four of us promise that if anything were to happen to her kid that we take care of her. She told us that it was her mothers intuition that it was her time, and that she was going to sacrifice herself for her daughter. The zombies broke in, destroyed Amys dead body. We grabbed our shit, almost forgot the kid, and ran our asses out of there. Day 13: For the next four days we walked from that walmart to the deception pass park. These last four days have been increasingly hard for me. Im starting to realize that we're in an endless cycle of death, murder and canibalism that never gonna end. I ran out of my medication a couple of days ago. That medication is supposed to balance out my moods so I dont want go into manic states and try to kill myself again. Obviously its kind of hard to get medication when all the pharmacists are dead, and theres no way to order more medication. So i guess im just gonna have to control myself or die. I put the baby to bed wrapped in Stephanies warm arms, who is wrapped in Jinxs arms. I walked outside so i could be alone. Alone where no one could stop me from killing myself.. because i just dont wanna do this anymore.  
Day 12: Its one o'clock in the morning. Tears are streaming down my face. I have no paper to write a note, so i take my knife and write my note in blood. Just enough blood to make words. Not enough yet to bleed out but just enough to make a light stream. Im sitting in the dirt next to my bloody note, leaning on the railing i get up and go towards the bridge. Im staring down at the water. Im about to jump when i feel someones hand on my shoulder and a whisper in my ear. "I love you. Please dont do this.. yet." It was Grady. He wrapped his arms around my chest and held me while I sunk to the ground. He went down with me and held me there. After a while he got me calm enough to stand then took me back to his tent so he could bandage up my wrist. While he was fixing up my wrist he told me. "If you promise not to kill yourself and you make it back to town with me in one piece, I swear I'll make it worth your while." That night i went to bed, laying my head on his chest falling asleep to my tears streaming down dripping on his shirt, and hearing his heartbeat, putting me to sleep.  
Day 11: Another day. I was sure i would've died in my sleep. Either from the peacefullness or the blood flowing out of me. We stole a transit bus, and headed off to the north end for food. When we first entered the north end we saw the mini block of fast food chains. All resturaunts that id applied to but been rejected from. Once walking in all spiffied up looking for a job, now in torn up clothes covered in blood at the sleeves, stealing food from the once very busy resturaunts. We decided to sleep in the bus tonight. We'll find a hangout tomorrow.  
Day 10: We're headed towards Central and stop at this horse barn place. We park the bus in the back and in the field where the horses should be, theres dead horses with human hands in their mouths. Grady runs to vomit. We place our stuff in the tack room and decide to go exploring, looking for neighborhood houses we can ransack. This is Stephanies old hood. It hasnt changed much. Its still full of grodiness and STD's. We walk by the pool which is about ten feet away from her house and peer through the gate. We can see at least twenty of our old school mates which are now zombies. Half of them of making out with each and having a grind fest. The others are all sitting in a corner fighting over who gets the next hit off of the blunt. Grady being the rebel he is he decides to hop the fence and disturb the zombies. He leads them outside, like cows getting ready for slaughter. Jinx thinks their brains are too fried to even try and kill us and suggests we have some fun with these idiots for once. We ended up having a huge dance party. Like in the Michael Jackson music video. All was well until Stephanie just had to gangnam style and ended up hitting a zombie in the face. Lets skip the humiliating parts of being beaten and almost killed by the stupidest people on this island, and leave it at my head was slammed into the basketball court hoop and i passed out. I woke up the next morning with a lack of memory and a headache to match. Day 6: Apparently i was blacking out on and off for four days because when i woke up Grady, Steph and Jinx told me id been asleep for days. I woke up on the floor of a very colorful room. There were baby toys on the floor and everything was pink... we're in a daycare?! Stephanies holding baby Aubrey and rocking back and forth while Jinx is staring dreamingly into both of their eyes. The two of them would make such great parents. As stephanie goes to reach for a binkie for Aubrey and Jinx goes to look for diapers, I watch in slow motion as Aubrey goes to bite Stephs breast. I pick up aubrey and set her on the table. Stephs calm... which scares me. She blames Aubreys biting on teething and wanting milk which she should be getting from her mom. The bitemarks not normal though. Theres teeth marks. Aubreys only a couple of days old... Jinx looks at stephs boob and realizes the bite marks turning green. Then we all hear this hissing.. its aubrey. Stephanie for some reason thinks she needs to be held and holds her again. Aubrey yet again goes in to bite stephanie. She tries to fricken bite off Stephs tit. I swear this kids crazy. I grab Aubrey from her and as i look in her eyes they turn grey and she looks dead... shes a zombie! Which means so will steph. Steph whisks aubrey from me and holds her up to her face, and calls her a little shit. Then throws aubrey threw a glass window. She got glass in her neck and bled out on the concrete parking lot. Steph now has twenty four hours to live until the disease takes over.  
Day 5: I felt this heaviness on my chest. We decided to get out of the preschool and hide in the High school, right back where we started. I spent the night walking around the school, sliding my fingers along the brick walls, wishing for tomorrow to never happen. That somehow the morning never comes, a comet wipes us out as if we were never here. That we'd become specks of dust that would be picked up by the breeze. That we wont have to kill Steph tomorrow. My thoughts were disturbed by the weight of stephs body sitting on me. She leaned into my face and told me to follow her. I followed her into the biology room. We sat there for a minute. In silence. Then i bursted out crying. I started sputtering out this long garbled list of all of these things.. which steph couldnt figure out, because she put her hand on my mouth. I calmed down. She looked into my eyes and told me that tomorrow she wants us to kill her before she changes. She wiped the tears off of my face, and told me that theres something shes wanted to do for a while and now that shes dying she might as well do it now. Normally Steph would barely be able to pick me up if it depended on her life, but this time it was as if she carrying a bag of bread. She sets me down on the lab counter. The metal handles controlling the air and gas lightly digging into my back while steph dry humps me. I grab at the collar of her shirt and pull her in closely. We're laying her destroying each others faces. She tells me shes been waiting to do this for a while. Now im straddling her. I rip off her shirt, ignoring the buttons, i finger her, she scratches me to the point theres almost blood drawn. She knocks me off of her, and gets back on top. I cannot believe i just had sex with my best friend... now i have to kill her. Reality comes back into play after we're done and we both realize what must be done. As we go down the hallway she asks me if im coming.. i tell her ill be down soon. I watch her curvy body move down the hallway and out of my site. Then the tears start to fall.  
Day 3: Me and Steph agreed to forget that last night ever happened. I was okay with that. All I wanted was to spend my last few minutes with her. I couldnt be angry. The four of us decide that no ones at the school anymore so we leave our weapons back in the band room that we were hiding in. Me and Grady have joined hands, and so have steph and jinx. In a row of twos we walk across the street in complete silence. The only weapon we have is a gun with one bullet. We open the doors to the gym and half the footballs team dead on the glossy gym floor now stained with blood. Without saying words we line up in a row to say our goodbyes. Grady says a quick goodbye and hug. Jinx holds onto Steph for what seems like an eternity, and then makes out with her one last time, feeling up her skirt for a memory that'll need to last a lifetime. Then I was next. There was no crying. There was no long teary goodbye with lots of hugging. It was a short hug, and a minute long speech of goodbyes, so we could control ourselves. She made sure to tell the guys to make sure that i didnt kill myself after she died. Jinx got the shot ready to go and handed me the gun. Stephanie was standing under the basketball court ready and waiting. I had the gun pointed at her... hand shaking.. i couldnt do it. I just couldnt. While we were deciding who would shoot her, Steph was dancing around to gangnam style.. i think she was in shock or something.. but then while she was singing Goodbye My Friends Jinx pointed the gun, tried not to look at her face.. and pulled the trigger. I dropped to my knees. I watched her dead body hit the floor. Tears streaming down my face. I take the ipod that was playing her song and throw it against the brick walls, it was smashed into hundreds of pieces. I look to the left of me and Jinx is sitting in the corner with the gun, crying hysterically. Before we knew what he was doing, he told us "this is all going to be a dream, a bad bad dream." Then when we asked what he meant he coldly told us "I died of a broken heart, this is just my way of speeding up the process." Then he took a bullet out of his pocket, loaded the gun, put it in his mouth and blew his brains out. Day 2: Since I kept that promise with Grady, he held up his end too. One minute I was sitting on the ground cradling Stephs dead body, getting blood in my hair, then the next me and Grady were having sex. It began in the boiler room. We were laying on this mattress.. I was on top of him. We were making out. I kissed him from his lips, to his neck stopping to bite him, sliding my hands up and down his muscular chest while i bite his lower lip. I go down his happy trail and stop. I put my mouth on the zipper of his pants and pull down slowly... I slip my hands into his pockets and pull off his pants. I go down on him. Hes breathing extremly heavy.. i start to use my hands... he seems to enjoy that because hes breathing as if hes having an asthma attack or something. After I've tickled his fancy I decide to leave him in there. I run up the stairs and go to my locker. My "outfits" in there. I run into principle beanpoles office and get dressed. Im wearing a black and neon green teddy that barely covers me. Theres lace on the top and on the bottom, and it looks like a corset on the back. With that im wearing a little black bow tie and bunny ears. Then to finish off my look my glossy boots and the perfect shade of lip stick. Then i send my voice over the school. Grady if you can hear and you better be able to hear me, i suggest you get your muscular butt up here and check out my new outfit. He races himself up the towards the office.. and looks mersmerized. Im standing in front of him nose to nose at first, then back up so he can see me. I sit myself on the recepcionists desk, and seductively place a lolipop into my mouth. He walks calmly over to beanpoles desk and swipes every piece of paper off of the desk. He comes around the counter and wraps his arms around me. Then carries me to his desk, sets me down, and just destroys my everything. The feelings insane. Its like we're on fire.. but in the best way possible. Our bodies are tingling with a heat. Its that feeling you get when you've been playing in the snow too long. Afterwards we get into our makeshift bed together. We're cuddling. Theres a chill in the air, hes got his arms wrapped around me and we're sharing body heat. I hope he feels as safe as I do, cuz i could honestly stay the way we are until forever. Then I notice the bite mark on his neck. Its got to be mine. Im the only one in the school. It has to be mine. It just does.  
Day 1: Im afraid to be alone now that Stephs gone. She was my best friend, my lover, and my rock. I cant even let Grady go to the bathroom by himself anymore. While we were discussing what we were going to do next Grady told me that he had to piss so i went with him. The bite on his neck had turned a green and black shade. I looked at his eyes and they turned from their normal brown to grey black. Gradys changing. He got bit. Its all downhill from here. We stare and he automatically knows what im thinking. He begs me not to kill him. And I know i cant. And besides I dont wanna be the last one on earth. After hours of sitting on different sides of the room, I figured out a plan. It wasnt foolproof but it was a plan. He had two bullets left in his stash. I decided what we would do. Since he didnt want me to kill him, and I couldnt kill him. The best idea was before Grady goes through the change have him kill me, then he'll just shoot himself. And it'll all be finally fucking over. So as i write in this journal. Im telling who ever finds this that we were the last ones here. And that i pissed in beanpoles drawer.. just saying. Hello to the new people that are reading this. And goodbye to everything on this fucking planet of death...


End file.
