


If Liger Zero Could Talk for 30 Seconds

by itaki-chan



Category: Zoids
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2004-03-09
Updated: 2004-05-09
Packaged: 2013-07-02 03:31:42
Rating: K+
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,523
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1765144/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/371680/itaki-chan
Summary: Ehhh.. I had a random idea. All ideas come from asking questions, which I do less of nowadays..darn. Anyhow! So, the simple question: what would Liger say if it could talk for a limited time? Mwahahahaha... Please R&R!





	1. Liger Talks

If Liger Could Talk [for 30 seconds.]  
  
Disclaimer: Ah, lovely disclaimers.. *coughgagcough* Anywho, I don't own any Zoids or any of the characters, or the show, blah-blah-blah... Oh! The characters you don't know are madeups. I inserted them because.. hmm.. I dunno. Maybe Ryo could've been replaced by Jamie, and Domonkashu by Dr. Tauros.. Sami by Leena..? Gah! -.- I hate admitting I'm a failure. Without further ado!  
  
3, 2, 1 Let's Jam  
  
Bit:*grins* It's so great being able to understand Liger! ^__^ It's even better knowing I'm the only one who can talk to him and understand him!   
  
Leena: *glares at him* You changed topics on purpose, cookie-thief!  
  
Bit:*blink* o-o No, I was just telling my friend, Ryo, how great it is to be able to talk to Liger. *gestures to his right*  
  
Leena:*sees thin air* ......? O.o;; Oh, great.. Bit has imaginary friends, now..  
  
Bit: Do not! *glares at Leena* Ryo, prove your authenticity to the blind doughnut-thief! *turns to his right and sweatdrops* Hey, Ryo! Where'd you go? O_O  
  
Ryo: *inside Liger's cockpit* Heeeeyyyyyyyyy Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! I'mm iiinnnnnnnnn heeeeeeeeerrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! *waves*  
  
Bit: *blink* HEY! Get outta there! I'm the pilot! T_T  
  
Ryo: ^___^ In a sec! I just gotta ask Liger a couple of questions! *muttermutter*  
  
Liger: Rroar! Grrrrrrr! Grrrrrrrrrrroaaaaaaarrrrrrrr!!!!!  
  
Ryo: O.o; Okay.. uhh... wish I understood that.. umm.. okay! *jumps down and runs off*  
  
Leena and Bit: O.o ... e.e ... @.@; .. o.O;;  
  
-Later that day-  
  
Kashu: It's done! ^_____^ *hands her something wrapped up in a cloth* Careful, now.  
  
Ryo: O.o; K, gotcha. *walks to the Liger and "feeds" it to him* Now! You can talk for 30 seconds! ^_^ Anything you wanna say?  
  
Liger: O_O I can talk..? YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! WOOHOO! *jumps up and down*  
  
Brad and Bit: *anime backfall**jump to their feet* O_O;; WHAT THE--?!?!  
  
Ryo: 20 more seconds, Liger. Anything else?  
  
Liger: Hell yeah! Bit, you're a good warrior and all, but would ya do me a huge favor and quit bitching and screaming while you're in my--*goes back to roaring* -Roar! Roaarrrrrrrr!..Grrarl!  
  
Bit: T_T;;;; I bring him through battles intact and that's the first thing he says to me..?!?!?! *backfall*  
  
Ryo: ^^;; The truth hurts, Bit Cloud... Heheheh.  
  
Owari! 


	2. Liger Talks Again

Chapter 2: Liger Talks... Again.  
  
A/N: The first chapter was much more popular than I thought.. . So, i just added on, since I'm feeling random again.  
  
Disclaimer: No! I don't own them! They have cooties!! runs away-- far, far away  
  
3,2,1.. Let's Jam!  
  
It was your wonderful, bright and shiny day in the world of the Zoids... Bit and Leena were after each others' food again, Jamie was dancing around and singing along to "My Band" by D-12 for some reason, Brad was out somewhere, and Dr. Tauros was rapping along with Jamie. Meanwhile, my creepy character, Ryo, was up to something....Dr. Evil cue music.....evil.. Mwahahahahahahaha!!  
  
"CUT!!"  
  
At that very moment, a tall man clad in a white laboratory coat storms in, beloved tazer in hand, and shocks the authoress. He straightens himself, brushing his light-blue bangs out of his face and glaring down at her with his thick goggles."Now, patient.. What have I told you about losing your sanity in public?"  
  
The authoress sighed, and answered,"..Don't do it.." with a very dismal tone in her voice.  
  
"Good." the man replied."At least the memory portion of your brain still works.."  
  
"Why are you so mean, Dr. White?" our insane authoress inquired.  
  
The man, now known as "Dr.White" sighed again and gave her a banana. The authoress giggled evilly, before running off and resuming the fic.  
  
"Okay! Back to the story!"  
  
Alright, so what Ryo was doing wasn't exactly evil. In fact, it was actually quite good. For, she was returning to gauranteed right of the first Amendment to the Constitution to our protagonist: the Liger Zero. Ahh.. how we all love freedom of speech.  
  
"Heya, Liger! Yanno, it really sucked the last time, cuz you could only talk for 30 seconds.." said the black-haired girl, entering the shadowed room."I'm sure you had much more you wanted to get off your chest."  
  
"ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRrrrrrrr.... Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaarrrrrrrr..."  
  
"I bet you'd leap at another chance to tell Bit your true feelings for him.." Ryo continued, her cobalt blue eyes dashing across the screen in front of her as she tapped a message into her laptop.  
  
The Liger roared again, and leaped to show his enthusiasm for talking again. The girl sweatdropped and chuckled.  
  
"Alright, alright. I'll persuade Kashu into lettin' ya talk more, a'ight?" She grinned at the titanic being for a few seconds before it moved towards her. Then, her grin faded as she realized the fighting machine wanted to hug her."AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" she screamed and exited the dimly lighted room.  
  
All too suddenly, Dr, Tauros, being the genius that he is, marched into the lounging room, his gazing travelling over his lovely fighters."We have another battle!" he announced, showing his pearly whites-- which weren't exactly pearly white. They were more of a lemon-ish shade... but that's besides the point!  
  
Bit, who was formerly chewing on a cookie, swallowed it and grinned."ALRIGHT!" he excalimed, jumping to his feet and running to the storage room where Liger was being held.  
  
Leena shrugged and went after him, followed by our favorite mercenary by the name of Brad. Dr. Tauros blinked a couple of times, wondering why they didn't bother asking who they were facing, He shrugged, and called after them,"THAT'S THE SPIRIT, BOYS!" He was respectively rewarded with a huge obstacle thrown at him."..And Leena.." he added.  
  
The blonde-haired boy blinked upon entering the storage room."Hey, Ryo. What's up?" he said conversationally, slowing his pace to a walk as her gazed up at her, sitting on Liger."Whatcha doing up there?"  
  
"Talking to Liger," the other replied casually, before slipping off and landing on her feet the way she always and mysteriously did without breaking a leg.  
  
At the time, Bit couldn't piece together Ryo and talking to Liger. Liger talking. Period. Maybe it was the cookie, that wasn't really a cookie at all; the cookie that was really cow dung, with nice little ants embedded in it's golden-brown texture.Or maybe it was his blonde hair, which always seems to spite him, despite his natural nice attitude. Or perhaps it was something beyond our universe, gazing down at him and yelling,"HA! I TOOK YOUR MONEY!" Anyway, the point is, Liger talking didn't click in that particular moment.  
  
He shrugged, instead, and hopped into the cockpit, readying the system for combative operations, while Ryo stared up at him."Ey, Bit?" she began."You're not taking Liger out to fight, are you..?"  
  
"Yeah, of course!" the other declared."Why else would I be in here?"  
  
Leena and Brad came in, followed by Jamie --who was still rapping to "My band"-- and entered their cockpits, starting up their zoids and going over the battle strategy. Even though they didn't know who they were fighting.  
  
"These chicks don't even know the name of my band/ But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands/ Cuz once I blow they know that I'll be the man/ All because I'm the lead singer of my band," Jamie sang blissfully, ignoring the little windows popping up onto his screen showing his glaring comrades.  
  
"Wait, Bit!!" Ryo blurted,"You don't wanna go into combat!!!"  
  
Of course, Bit was too busy glaring at his rapping friend to listen to her. And by the time Ryo'd managed to climb up the Liger Zero, it was time for them to take off, so she was thrown from the zoid, and landed 30 feet away on her jean-cladded rear. Awwwwwww....... coughyeahrightcough  
  
Bit pounced at the random enemy, firing random shots at random locations, because we all know Bit can't aim.. o-o is flamed by Bit fans Hey!! Cut!  
  
The authoress storms out of her story-telling mode and glares at Dr. White."How come they are allowed to harm me?!" she yelled."This is cruel, mean, and negative! Imagine how I feel!" she added, pouting.  
  
The light-blue haired man yawned, taking a sip of his coffee and stared at her for a good minute."As much as I hate to hurt your educated side, technically, psychopaths don't have emotions. So, these fangirls flaming you has been legalized." he answered suavely."Resume your story, or else I won't give you dinner."  
  
The authoress perks up immediately and resumes story-mode.  
  
RESUME!  
  
Okay, so Bit really can aim, it's just those bullets are stupid, like me, and can't hit the target. So, they take down a couple of Hellcats before Liger can't take it anymore.  
  
"TURN IT UP, JAMIE!!!!!!!"  
  
Bit jerked his Zoid to an immediate stop and stared in suspended surprise at the controlling mechanisms, as of they were Liger's face."No.. no... NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed.  
  
The camera zooms out a good 100 feet for good measure, and dramatizing effects, before it returns to our petrified blonde guy. He mutters a curse word that goes beyond the rating of this fic, and slams his head on the control panel.  
  
Jamie, not seeming to care about our blonde cookie-thief, cranks up the tunes, which amazingly immobilizes the enemy hellcats. He jams along, rapping the explicit lyrics with all the pride and joy left in the world.  
  
Liger, meanwhile, was dancing about the battlefield and slashing the enemy at the same time.All the while, yelling,"WE GETTIN' CRUNK! WE GETTIN' CRUNK!"  
  
Leena quickly became sick of the hip-hop lingo, and began firing at Liger."SHUTUP! SHUTUP, YOU RAPPER-WANNABE MACHINE-THING!!!!!!" Apparently, that doughnut she stole earlier really wasn't a doughnut. I'll let your imagination run wild with the possibilities of what it really was... Kagaga no subaba.  
  
So, in no time at all, the battle was over, and Liger was a little worn out from all the excitement. Bit... well, Bit was unconsious, since he'd been slammed against the sides of the cockpit while Liger began on "Till I Collapse" by Eminem. And despite all the blood, he wasn't dead.  
  
Liger sat down in the storage room and stared at Bit for awhile, who was bandaged up and glaring at him."This is why you don't talk.. This is why you shouldn't talk.."  
  
"Hey, wanna have a heart-to-heart..?" the zoid offered.  
  
"Sure," the blonde man said carelessly."Any problems?"  
  
"Well, I know we didn't quite get along the last time I talked to you.. But I was so caught up in the moment that I... I didn't get to say what I really wanted to say to you.." Liger explained, locking eyes with his owner.  
  
"Oh, so you didn't mean all that.." Bit scoffed, sweatdropping.  
  
"I did, but that's nothing compared to what I'm about to tell you now.."  
  
Liger's pilot stared at him in silent apprehension, wondering what was so important all of a sudden.  
  
"I love you."  
  
Needless to say, Bit's screams could be heard 1,000 years into the future by even the deafest of all people. He was scarred for life-- and we're not talking about the hickey that Liger gave him...  
  
THE END!  
  
itaki: o-o That was more random than i thought it would be..  
  
Neko: TT You and gay guys..  
  
itaki: They're just so funny! But you must admit, this was the ultimate plot-twist! XD  
  
Neko: ...  
  
Dr. White: zaps Itaki with tazer again  
  
itaki: dies xx 


End file.
