


A Weird, Stupid, and Down Right Crazy Story

by Sanity-Stealing-Lawn-Gnome



Category: Zoids
Genre: Adventure, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2003-02-25
Updated: 2004-01-24
Packaged: 2013-05-12 22:59:52
Rating: K
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,885
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1249967/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/242974/Sanity-Stealing-Lawn-Gnome
Summary: I couldnt fit the whole title but its on the first chp. Okie this is a chaotic Century fic. Me and my friends get transported to Zi in a REALLY weird way. You'll see. R&R!





	1. Disaster

Ok, hopefully this will be the last time I have to upload the prologue and chps. 1 & 2.I still don't like how they look. Anyway, Read on!  
  
The Weird, Crazy, and Down Right Stupid Story of Our Liver.err, Lives.  
  
By Sanity Stealing Lawn Gnome  
  
Prologue  
  
Once upon a time there were three . . . . um . . . I guess you could say "unique" . . . . girls. Anyway, they decided to have a sleep over. Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you their names. Well, to protect the innocent people (and objects) in this story, we will use nicknames. So, the girl's names are Michiko (the Baka), Red Baroness (One-Who-Uses-Big-Words) and * deeeep breath* Linkin Park Loving Chickens Will Rule The Earth other wise known as One By One the Lawn Gnomes Are Stealing My Sanity but will be referred to in this story as Weasel. * gasp, choke, cough* *ahem* As I was saying, they decided to have a sleepover. They were all having a jolly good time when . . . . NATURE CALLED!!! That's right folks, Michiko had to go to the potty! So, she politely (or as politely as Michiko gets, which means she said "OK, I have to go use the pot, so shut up and don't have any fun till I get back!") got up and excused herself, leaving Weasel and Red Baroness to their own devices (which can sometimes be a very  
  
Dangerous thing). Thus, having nothing better to do, they decided to play a trick on Michiko.  
  
"I know, we should lock her in the potty box!" Weasel exclaimed, while Red Baroness gave her a weird look.  
  
"Potty Box?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow.  
  
" Yah, you know, the Lou, the can, the latrina? Geeze where have you been?" she replied, as if everyone in the world called the toilet "potty box" (Which I know they don't) Well, deciding it was the only decent idea they could come up with, they silently crept to the door. Pressing their ears up to make sure Michiko didn't suspect anything, they proceed to lock the door. Unfortunately, Michiko opened the door at the same time, causing them all to fall into the bathroom, and the door to close and lock behind them. Now our three Heroines are locked in the dreaded . . . . . . . JOHN!!!! (Dun dun dunnnn)  
  
To Be Continued . . . . . . .  
  
Short, I know. R&R! 


	2. Beginning

Disclaimer: Don't own the Zoids Characters  
  
Chapter 1  
  
"Great! Now were locked in the bathroom!" Michiko yelled, trying to turn the doorknob.  
  
"Well it's not my fault all your stupid doors lock from the outside!" Red Baroness said. If your wondering where Weasel is, she's flushing the toilet, marveling at how the water spirals down into the pipe.  
  
"Ooooooooooh, Its like . . . potty magic, or something." Michiko and Red Baroness sweat dropped.  
  
"Well, look on the bright side," Red Baroness reasoned. " At least we won't have to worry about going to the bathroom." Weasel and Michiko fell over.  
  
"This isn't fair!" Michiko screamed, always the over dramatic one. "I'm going to starve to death in a bathroom with two idiots! I'm too young to die!!!!"  
  
" Get a hold of yourself woman!" Weasel yelled. "I'm sure there's some way to get out of here. We just have to put our heads together." BONK!  
  
"Owww!! You guys, it was an expression!"  
  
*~2 hours later, after many failed attempts of escape.~*  
  
"Its hope less!! Were going to be stuck in here for the rest of our lives!! We'll have to resort to eating bathroom accessories!!" Red Baroness wailed.  
  
"I call dibs on the toilet brush!" Michiko and Red Baroness turned to look at Weasel.  
  
"What?!" she asked. They just sadly shook their heads. Suddenly, a bright light shot out of the toilet. It engulfed the room, blinding the girls. When it disappeared, they were gone. They had been transported to another world by the toilet fairy!!!!  
  
To be Continued . . . . . . 


	3. Meetings

Disclaimer: Don't own any Zoids characters.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
OK, so obviously they've been transported to another world. So, let's see how Red Baroness is doing, shall we?  
  
"Ewwww, why am I all wet!?! The water stinks!" Red Baroness said, as she looked at her surroundings.  
  
She soon realized she was in a bathroom. "Oh, now I know why I'm wet."  
  
Let's wait folks, while she figures it out. "Ew, ew, ew, ew!!! I need a shower NOW!!!"  
  
Ah, there we go.  
  
OK, on to Michiko.  
  
"Who in the HECK are you!?!" Uh oh, I smell t-r-o-u-b-l-e (Hello Travis Tritt!!) Michiko was having even worse luck than Red Baroness. As soon as the white light disappeared, she found herself on the wrong end of a pocketknife. In fact, it was Ravens pocketknife. Now, I know your all saying 'Why doesn't he have a nice big, sharp knife in stead of that dinky old thing?' Well, think about it. Red Baroness ended up in a bathroom, and they were all in a bathroom before the white light thingy happened. So, you could kinda guess that Michiko would end up in a bathroom too. So what do you do in a Bathroom (besides #1 or #2)? Got it? So, he wouldn't actually have a big, sharp knife handy. OK, now that we have that covered, back to the story.  
  
"ACK! Put some clothes on before you start threatening people!!" Michiko yelled. She covered her eyes as Raven blushed, realizing he only had a towel wrapped around his waist, and hurriedly got dressed. 'He has a nice six pack though.' Michiko thought as she waited for him to get dressed.  
  
Now, to Weasel.  
  
" Oh my GARSH!!! I have wanted to meet you since I was little!!!" We find Weasel with her arms wrapped around the waist of a guy wearing a white tutu, shiny silver tank top, a toilet seat around his waist, a toilet paper turban on top of his head, and a toilet brush in his hand. Can you guess who he is? Yup, that's right folks, he's the toilet fairy!! Hey, who says fairies always have to be women?  
  
"EEEP! Um, lady, toilet fairy can't breathe!! Too tight! Too tight!" Poor, poor guy. Wonder how he's gonna get out of this one.  
  
"Hey, wait a minute, this isn't my bathroom!" Oh look, she finally noticed. -. - *sigh* Why me?  
  
"Why did you bring me here? Where are my friends!?! You better take me back home right now buddy, or the toilet fairy is gonna get his first swirlie!" Weasel has finally detached herself from the toilet fairy. Unfortunately for him, she's not too happy with the situation right now.  
  
" Hey listen kid, I just did what Boss Man Toilet Brush told me to, OK? Now, I'd really love to help you, *coughyarightcough* but I've got a 3:00 date with the tooth fairy, and I really don't want to miss that. So, looks like you're on your own." And, with a wave of his wand.err, I mean toilet brush.. He vanished.  
  
"Wait a second, how am I supposed to get out of this place!?! I don't even know where I'm at!! And that stupid tooth fairy owes me a quarter!!! ERRR, good for nothin fairies." So, with nothing better to do, Weasel decided that she might as well find out where she's at. She was going to turn the doorknob and peek out, but someone else had already beaten her to it, and she was greeted with the wide eyes of Emperor Rudolph.  
  
To Be Continued . . . . . . . 


	4. Questions

Sorry I haven't update since, um, like, forever! I had a MAJOR case of writers block. HeHe. But I can see ya'll really like Michiko's stories. So lets all respond to my stories with the same enthusiasm, k!? See, I knew you were smart people! ( K, on with the story. Course ya'll know I own no one except myself, the toilet fairy, and any other weird and unusual ideas/persons I can come up with. Michiko and Red Baroness are my personal maids, so therefore I own them, too. The rest belongs to the wonderful and smart minded creator of Zoids. Enjoy!  
  
( ) My annoy, yet witty and incredibly funny, comments (Ego trip? I think so) " " talking ' ' thoughts  
  
Chapter 3 (finally)  
  
When we last left our heroes (if you can even call them that), they were all in, um, unusual situations. So, lets check up on them and see how they're doing!  
  
Now, after Red Baroness figure out just exactly how she got to where she was, she tried to figure out just exactly where she was, was at. (did I confuse ya? Nah, your all smart people who catch on quick, I hope).  
  
'Okay, so I know I'm in a bathroom. I wonder who's bathroom? I hope it's some totally hott guy and he's just getting ready to take a shower, but walks in his bathroom to find a completely gorgeous, and lost, girl. He's so taken by her stunning looks, he takes her in his arms right then and there, asks her to marry him, and they live happily ever after. *Sigh* Oops, I got a little carried away there. Hehe. Ok RB, get yourself together. Focus, focus, focus. . . . Errrrr! Now I can't get the image of that incredibly fine guy out of my mind!!! Stupid brain, I'm going to stab you with a q-tip! (Simpson's, anyone?)'  
  
Well, as Red Baroness was burning up more brain cells, the owner of that bathroom walked in. Being incredibly surprised to see a girl standing in the middle of his bathroom with toilet water dripping off of her, he stood there in shock and stared.  
  
'Why do I feel like I'm being watched?' Red Baroness thought, turning towards the door.  
  
"Oh, that's because I am. Ooooh, he is hott! Oops, did I just say that out loud?" She smacked her forehead, and saw that what she siad had made Mr. Hottie blush.  
  
"Umm. . . . . Hi! Heh, ah . . . My name is Red Baroness. I bet you're wondering why I'm in your bathroom. That's a good question, heh heh. Um, you know, I'm not quite sure about that either. You see, me and my friends were having a slepp over and we all got locked in the bathroom. We were about to resort to eating toilet accessories when a bright white light shot out of the toilet and next thing I know I'm standing in your bathroom soaked with toilet water. Um. . . yep. So I guess you could say I came from the toilet, haha! Oh jeez! Good one, RB! Now you sound like a rambling lunatic, so much for first impressions. Umm, so what's your name?" The stranger stood there for a minute, gaping like a fish, before snapping out of his daze.  
  
"Uh. . . I'm, um, Karl. Karl Schubaltz." He replied, still trying to process all the information he had just received.  
  
" OH, MY, GARSH!!! Your Karl Schubaltz!?! Like, the Zoids Karl Schubaltz!? I didn't recognize you without the Hat and Uniform! You're even more cute in person!!" Red Baroness ran over to him and then proceeded to hug him tightly (in other words, she was choking the life out of him trying to show her affection.).  
  
"Please take your vice like-grip off my neck! I'm serious! Ok, ok, I love you too, just LET GO!" He finally managed to pry her off of him and straighten his neck out.  
  
"Ok, you said you were transported here through the. . . toilet? Okay, I'm not too sure how that can be done, but I'll figure that out later. You were with your friends?"  
  
"Yeah, you see, we were about to lock Michiko in the bathroom, but she opened the door and we fell inside and the door shut and locked us in. Then a bri-"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I know, a white light shot out of the toilet, never mind that. Do you have any idea where your friends might be?" Red Baroness paused to think. After a few minutes, a little light bulb appeared above her head and went off. Then it blew up. So, she thought for a few more minutes, and another light bulb appeared above her head, but this time it didn't blow up. Karl figured that was a good sign.  
  
"Well, I know where we can start. You see, where I come from you're all apart of a t. v. show called Zoids, and we were about to watch some of the episodes of your show. You're my favorite character from the show, and so when we were transported here, I ended up in your bathroom. I'm not saying this is right, but maybe Weasel and Michiko ended up in the bathroom of their favorite characters too." Karl got this funny look on his face, then raised a questioning eyebrow at Red Baroness.  
  
"We're a t. v. show? How can that be!? I lived here since I was born and never saw a single video camera! Is my whole life a lie!?" He sank to the ground, clutching his head. Red Baroness sweat dropped.  
  
"What a drama queen. Ooook, Karl, your life is not a lie. In our world, you're a make believe character. In your world, you're real. We just watch your lives unfold and you just, well, live your lives. So, you just stick to your opinions and decisions, and we'll watch you live, all the while mocking you and laughing at you and adoring you. Wait, ignore the first two things. Just go on with your life." She shook her head.  
  
'That's why I'll never become a psychiatrist.' She thought. Well, by now Karl had recovered from his little episode, and was waiting until Red Baroness noticed him again.  
  
"Ok so we have to check with Rudolph and, believe it or not, Raven. I'm pretty sure that my friends will be there, and then we can figure this whole mess out." She said. She started for the door, then realized Karl wasn't following.  
  
"Aren't you coming?" she asked.  
  
"Um, could you just wait until after I get a shower? Just go out to the living room and watch some t. v., I won't be long." Karl then pushed her out of the bathroom and shut the door.  
  
'Jeez, aren't we pushy. Oh, well, I'll just go raid the fridge while I wait. Traveling through the toilet to another world makes you hungry!'  
  
To Be Continued. . . . . . .  
  
Okay, I think that's the longest chapter I ever wrote. Well, that's all for now, folks! Hope ya liked it! The part I found most funny was when Red Baroness' light bulb blew up. Hehe! The author, Sanity-Stealing-Lawn-Gnome, is pretty funny! (there's that ego again). Anyway R&R! Next match, Michiko vs. Raven. Don't miss it! 


	5. Pink

I reposted this cuz I accidently put Thomas instead of Karl. OOPS!! SO here ya r!! Okie pokie, sry I havent writ in a while but I waz busy cuz school is almost over (thank you!!!) and im all excited and then i got a huge artistic surge and I waz drawin like crazy and I made a new story and put it on Fictionpress.net (go check it out its called Two Sides) and I waz readin the second chp to Michiko's story (check that out too, its Virus) and I waz so caught up then I remembered bout this and decided to give u lovely peoples a gift (plus its better than doing math homework! () so here it is *gasp, cough, choke, sputter* ok then. But first, I have to sing a lovely song b/c im on a sugar high. . . .  
  
They're Pinky and the Brain, They're Pinky and the Brain, One is a genius, the others insane, they're laboratory mice, their genes have been spliced, They're Pinky, They're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain! * dun dun dun dunnnnn!*  
  
Ur probably tired of me talkin, and I have to go to the potty, so on with the story!!!  
  
Thoughts  
  
"" speech  
  
() Authors witty comments ******  
  
Chapter 3  
  
OK, I promised you I'd let you see what Michiko and Raven are up to, so here we go.  
  
Now, since Michiko's attention was on the sharp metal object pointed at her throat, she hadn't had time to check out where she was.  
  
Boy was she surprised. Ravens bathroom was totally PINK. I mean everything! There was a pink shower with neon pink shower curtain, a hot pink toilet with frilly lace seat covering next to the shower, pink curtains and window pane on the little window over the toilet, pink sink and counter next to a VERY pink tie-dye door, he even had a pink tooth brush and tooth paste with matching towels!!!!  
  
" Um. . . . I like your bathroom. It's very. . . . . manly." Michiko tried to prevent herself from going blind by looking at the floor, but even it was pink, too. NOOOOOO!!! Must escape the pinkness!!!! Going. . . .Crazy. . . Must. . . . Escape!!!! She frantically thought.  
  
By now, Raven was fully dressed and looking at Michiko funny because her one eye was kinda pointed upward, and the other one was kinda pointed side ways, and she looked like she was having a seizure.  
  
"Uh. . . . maybe we should go into the living room." He said. He motioned for her to follow him, not wanting to touch her for fear of getting the odd disease she seemed to have.  
  
"No! Please! No more pink! No more torture!" she wailed.  
  
Raven was beyond scared now, so he called shadow in to carry her to the living room (hope organoids can't get the Stupid disease).  
  
Once she got out of the scary pink bathroom, she returned to normal, or as normal as Michiko gets. Raven was on the other side of the room wearing yellow rubber gloves, a hair net, gas mask, and apron that said 'Kiss the cook and DIE!'. ( that sounds so much like Raven, don't cha think?)  
  
"Um, Dude, why are you dressed like that? You look like ET's cousin or something." Michiko was relieved that this room wasn't pink.  
  
"I don't want to get whatever horrible disease you have! Stay away!!" He screamed backing up against the wall.  
  
"OOOOOOOOOOkay, some one needs to chill out. Whatever, man."  
  
Just then, the front door burst open and in rushed Red Baroness. Unfortunatly, the first thing she saw was Raven.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! What the heck is that thing!?! Some one get a giant fly swatter or something and kill it!! Hurry!!" She yelled, running behind Thomas, who had followed her in.  
  
"Uh, Raven? Is that you? What the heck are you wearing?" Thomas had recognized the black hair under the hair net, and beings as this was Ravens house, figured it was said person.  
  
"Protective clothing to keep that crazy girls disease away from me!" he screehed.  
  
" Ok, lets forget that for now. How did you know where I was, any way?" Michiko asked turning to Red Baroness.  
  
"Well, to make a long story short, I ended up in Thomas's bathroom, and I told him what happened and he asked me where my friends were and I said that he was my favorite character and that you were probably here because you like Raven and he brought me to here." She said gasping for breath.  
  
"Oh, ok. Do you know where Weasel is?"  
  
"We'll figure that out later, right now I REALLY have to pee!" Red Baroness started to ask where the bathroom was, but Michiko stopped her.  
  
"No! Don't go in there! The pinkness will kill you!!!!" she screamed. She then proceeded to run around yelling about the 'Evil Pinkness Of The Curse-ed Bathroom' Just then . . . . .  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" *THUNK*  
  
Everyone stopped at the unexpected noise, and ran outside to see what happened.  
  
And there, laying in the middle of Ravens now cracked paved driveway, was Weasel.  
  
To Be Continued. . . . . .  
  
******** Well there ya have it! Next episode, Red Baroness' quest for Michiko, and how did Weasel end up falling out of the sky!? Tune in next week!! I Have to go, but a word of advice . . . .  
  
When life gives you lemons, throw them at other people.  
  
See ya later!!  
  
Sabity-Stealing-Lawn-Gnome 


	6. Remembering

Hey peeps!!! I was very disappointed in you all b/c of the # of reviews for chp. 4(or lack thereof). I want better feed back this time!! Any reviews will be loved and cared for and will equal the amount of joy felt when receiving a cookie. I decided to write the next chapter cuz I waz bored and Michiko is over so with our 2 minds im sure we can come up with some pretty crazy ideas. So grab the popcorn, tell everyone one to leave you the heck alone, and enjoy the show!! P. S. Sorry its so late!!  
  
Disclaimer: Look Peeps, we really don't own Zoids, but if we did we would share!! (Not me, there all mine, all mine, MAWHAHAHAHA *cough* HAHAHAHAHA!!!!)  
  
*****  
  
Chapter 5  
  
...  
  
"I dreamed one day this would happen!" Yelled Raven as tears filled his eyes. "I dreamed a beautiful angel would fall out of the sky and save me! NO love me . . . ok, well, save me from the evil Van! But I didn't figure she would land like that, oh well, screw the minor details."  
  
Karl and Michiko peeled a dazed and confuzzed (Confused for all you smart peeps) Weasel off the pavement.  
  
"Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy," Weasel mumbled, her eyes not totally focused..  
  
"Well there's your angel, Raven," Michiko said sarcastically.  
  
"I don't think anything major is broken," said Red Baroness looking Weasel over.  
  
"ERRRRR! I'm gonna kill that stupid (but cute) midget!!!" Weasel went on about 'short emperors' and their 'tiny brains'.  
  
"Hey yo, ya mind telling us what happened?" Michiko said, curious as to why her friend had ended up face down on the pavement.  
  
"Well, it all started like this. . . . . "  
  
(Sound of crickets chirping)  
  
"I SAID, WELL IT STARTED LIKE THIS . . . . . . "  
  
~Flashback~  
  
(thank you!)  
"Uh, not to be rude or anything, but why are you in the middle of my bathroom?" Rudolph was dressed in just his big hat thingy and towel.  
  
Does he ever take that stupid hat off when he's at home? Weasel thought.  
  
"That's a sexy hat, though. Oops, did I say that out loud? Heh, ignore that, it was just my stupid brain running away with me, er, something like that. I meant to say that you were sexy. NO! That's not what I meant! Stupid, Stupid, Stupid! Ok, I'm just gonna stop talking now before I mess things up even more."  
  
Rudolph was getting a little freaked out now so he turned around to call for his bodyguards, but was cut of as Weasel yelled out suddenly.  
  
"CUTE BUTT!!!! EEEP..um.oopsie.heh, that wasn't really me talking, um that was my other personality..Kawaii Baka..yea, that's a pretty good name for her. After all she has strikingly beautiful looks, like me, a charming personality, liiiiike me, and a grace like no other, except, of course, me! So what do you say to a date?"  
  
Rudolph just stared at her. Then..  
  
"GUARDS!!! SAVE ME FROM THIS CRAZY BAKA AND HER WEIRDNESS!!! HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP!!!!"  
  
Weasel then decided it was time for her to make a quick escape. Unfortunately, in a bathroom, there aren't many escape routes. She briefly thought of flushing herself down the toilet, but decided against it, for fear of getting stuck. Deciding she could probably fit through the tiny window, she headed towards it, but was too late. Two pairs of strong large hands grabbed her from behind and proceeded to drag her from the bathroom.  
  
"NO!!! This was all a misunderstanding!! Who are you gonna believe? Beautiful, intelligent me(someone has a big ego!!), or a short little baka in a weird lookin hat wearing a bath towel?!? PLEASE!!! I'm too young to die!!!!!"  
  
During her insane babble, the guards had carried her to a very large dome shaped room. It had many weird looking gadgets, with sharp edges and cannon like openings. The guards carried her over to one particular machine that looked like a turbo powered human cannon. And in fact, that's exactly what it was. And guess who the human cannon ball was? Yup, Weasel.  
  
"HOLY CRAP!!! What do I look like. A friggin' clown!?! You can't turn me into a cannon ball! It has to be against some law!! HELP MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"  
  
The guards stuffed her into the cannon, and lit the fuse. Then Rudolph pressed a button on the far wall, and the dome roof slid open, revealing the blue sky.  
  
"Happy landings, weirdo." Rudolph shouted before Weasel was shot out of the cannon into the blue sky.  
  
~End FlashBack~  
  
Weasel looked at everyone around her. They were staring at her with shocked, confused, and disbelieving looks on their faces.  
  
"He really did that? Whoa! Go Rudolph!!"  
  
Weasel glared at Michiko.  
  
"Yes he did do that, and that's why we have to organize a army and march over there right now and overthrow his rule!!! People can't have an emperor that shoots poor innocent girls out of cannons!!"  
  
"Poor? Innocent? Yea right." Red Baroness muttered under her breath.  
  
Karl decided it was time for him to interfere. " Ok, I'm sure Rudolph didn't mean it. He just rally values his bathroom time. Now, what we need to focus on is getting you guys home."  
  
"Nonsense! That can wait! What we need to do now is organize the biggest army ever! We'll recruit everyone on the planet!!! We need big guns, cannons...." Weasel continued ranting while Karl and Raven looked each other.  
  
"Why us?"  
  
To Be Continued....  
  
Ok. How'd ya like that!?! Hilarious and action packed!!! I'll try to get the next chapter a little sooner that this one. But I want lots of feedback, so hop to it!! And Have a Grrrrrrrrrreat summer! (I wanna be Tony the Tiger today!!) TTFN, Ta Ta for now!! (And Tigger too).  
  
Sanity-Stealing-Lawn-Gnome 


	7. Child Proof

Okay Peoples, I finally came up with an idea for the next chp! *Michiko* No you didn't! I'm the mastermind who came up with the ingenious idea for this chp! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Weasel* Oooookay, You are a sad, strange little woman. I don't know you. *Michiko* Then if I'm strange, what does that make you!? *Red Baroness* Please cease your insubordinate bickering *Michiko and Weasel* NO!!!!! (they continue to fight in the background) *Red Baroness* (sweatdrops, then looks at the readers) Well, since our stupid authoress and her. . . .um . . .how should I say this. . . .INSANELY stupid co-authoress are in the middle of a fight, which could last for days, *Cringes as she hears Michiko in the background* YOU STUPID BAKA!!! *Red Baroness* (Ahem) and since I have nothing else to talk about, lets get on with the story *ducks as a flower pot comes flying her way* *Red Baroness* Help me! (for disclaimer, check first few chps)

""Speech

__

Thoughts

( ) Authors witty comments

Chapter 7

It had been a three hours since Raven, Karl, Michiko and Red Baroness had received an explanation to Weasel's 'interesting' arrival, and she was still going on about getting revenge on Rudolph.

"Please. . . . . make it stop. . . . will the torture never end!?!" The other four slightly more sane ones were all slumped on the ground, covering their ears and trying to block out Weasel's annoying babble.

"Okay, I've got an idea," Michiko said, pulling out a roll of duct tape. She motioned for the others to gather around her. "Karl and Raven will sneak up behind her and hold her down while me and Red Baroness tape her mouth shut. Then we'll tape her to a chair and face it towards the corner. Now, GO!"

Karl and Raven grabbed Weasel, who soon found herself taped to a chair facing a corner.

"Mmmph mph whump mmm fmm phm!!" She began struggling and trying to yell through the tape. The others just ignored her.

"Now, I think we should take the girls to Van's. He might be able to figure out what to do. And he might be able to contact Dr. D. Hopefully." Karl suggested. Raven's eyes got wide, then narrowed at Karl.

"I refuse to go to that bakas dump of a house, no matter what the reason." He said crossing his arms and turning his nose up.

"Ok then, we'll just leave Weasel with you." Michiko said, with a smug grin.

"No! Anything but that!! Please don't!! Okay, okay, I'll go, as long as it gets rid of that. . . . that . . . thing. But I refuse to talk to him unless absolutely necessary."

"Knew it would work." Michiko whispered to Red Baroness.

They then heard a loud thunk, and a painful moan. Weasel had managed to tip the chair over, and smacked her head off the floor. Ouch.

Michiko started laughing hystericaly.

"The stupid baka tipped the chair over!! That's hilarious!!! Hyperventilation! HYPERVENTILATION!!!! " By now, she was on the floor, wheezing.

Karl and Raven looked at each other.

"Oh yea, we're definitely dumping her on Van. He can deal with these insane bakas."

Red Baroness grabbed her arm, looking annoyed.

"Stop your cackling and help us get her into the van so we can go to Van's house. Ok, that sounded stupid."

Raven and Red Baroness lifted her into the van, still taped to the chair. Then they all piled into the vehicle, and started their quest to Van's house.

*Thirty agonizing minutes later*

"No, no! I've come this far! I REFUSE to go any farther!!" Raven was trying to get the van door open, but can't get the child protection lock to work right.

"ERRRRR! What's wrong with this stupid thing. It. Won't. Open. DIE DIE DIE!!!" He was now pounding on the door, and yelling obscenities at it.

Red Baroness rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Raven. It's called a CHILD PROTECTION LOCK. It's supposed to be child proof. Hey, wait a minute, if it's child proof, and you can't get it open, then what does that make you?"

Raven's face turned tomato red, and looked like it was going pop. Steam started coming out of his ear's, and he suddenly got razor sharp teeth.

"Woah. Scary." Karl started to slowly back away, for fear of getting his head bit off.

"I AM NOT A CHILD!!! I AM AN ADULT!!! I PILOT A POWERFUL ZOID AND I THINK UP GENIOUS, FOOLPROOF PLANS!!! HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME IN SUCH A WAY!!! I WILL CRUSH YOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!" Raven lunged at Red Baroness, brandishing a very large mallet. Unfortunately for him, amidst all his swinging and yelling, he accidentally smacked Michiko in the back of the head. Not a good idea.

"WILL YOU TWO SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!!! IF YOU KEEP THIS UP, I'LL TURN THIS VAN AROUND AND WE'LL GO RIGHT HOME!!!"

They immediately went back to their seats, heads hung low.

"Sorry Mother." 

By now, they were in front of Van's house (he has a VERY long driveway.). Everyone got out, and helped lift Weasel, who was still taped to the chair, out of the Van and carried her up to the door. They knocked on the door and waited for Van to answer.

A few minutes later, he appeared at the door. Upon seeing the very weird looking group, he panicked.

"NOOOO! They've finally found me!! And Raven and Karl are on their side!!! HELP! YOU CAN'T TAKE ME TO THE NUT HOUSE!! I AM PERFECTLY SANE!! DON"T TAPE ME TO A CHAIR, PLEASE!!" Van was groveling on the floor, crying and shaking his head, when another girl's head popped around the corner of the door.

"Michiko! Red Baroness! Weasel? Why are you taped to a chair? Oh well! I'm so happy to see you guys!!" She ran over and embraced the three girls in a death-grip-hug type thing.

"Were happy to see you too. Now please let go, Weasel's turning purple." Michiko said.

She released her grip on the trio.

"Oops, sorry. I'm just so glad to see you!! I've been stuck here for a week!" She led them into the living room, Van, Karl, and Raven totally forgotten.

"Oh, sure, just leave us here with the bumbling baka. We don't care." Raven said sarcastically. He stepped over the still begging Van and followed them into the house.

Karl grabbed Van by the arm and drug him in the house, shutting the door behind him.

"The things I put up with."

To Be Continued. . . . . . .

Yay a cliff hanger!! That's the end for now!! Who's the mysterious girl who seems to know Michiko, Red Baroness, and Weasel? How does she know them? And could she have possibly gotten here the same way? You'll have to wait until next chp!! Since you have no idea what the girls in the story look like, and I'm too lazy to put detail in a comedy story, I'm gonna describe the 4 girls to you!

Michiko: 5' 4", chest length brown hair w/ blonde high lights, wears glasses and sometimes contacts, likes to dress in oversized T-shirts, tennis shoes or high-top or biker boots, and baggy pants, wears lots of jewelry, excellent artist, has a very loud mouth, and brown eyes.

Red Baroness: 5' 4", chest length dark brown hair, usually in a ponytail, wears jeans and baby tee's, tennis shoes, likes to wear friendship bracelets and other assorted jewelry, excellent artist also, is the intelligent one of the group, has a great sense of humor and has brown eyes.

Weasel: 5' 6", brown hair that reaches to just above where her butt starts, wears flare jeans and oversized T-shirts, both ears pierced two times, likes to wear spiked, leather, or beaded jewelry and high-top or biker boots or tennis shoes, another good artist, is the not so bright one of the group, and has light blue/gray eyes.

Mystery Girl: 5' 5" Shoulder length reddish brown hair, wears skirts, jeans, flowing tops w/ flared sleeves, high heels, make-up, chandelier earrings, beaded or silver jewelry, has both ears pierced two times, is an excellent artist, can be strange at times, and has dark brown/black eyes.

Well, there you go! And I hope I get a lot of reviews. Bye now!!


	8. Caught In The Act

Hey Hey Hey peeps! Im Back! The Mystery Girl has been begging me to get the next chp up, so here it is! Sry it took so long, but schools started and my internet died and made me VERY MAD, but I finally got round to it (I almost forgot how to breathe!!). Hope yin's enjoy!!!  
  
"" Speech Thoughts ( ) My words  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Karl drug Van toward the living room. He found the house oddly silent and began to worry (for his own safety, not that of his friends). Nothing could've prepared him for the sight he was about to see (cue dramatic music).  
  
When he entered the living room, he saw (music stops) . . . everyone sitting quietly, like normal civilized people.  
  
He nearly fainted. Dropping to his knees, he turned teary eyes to the ceiling.  
  
"Thank you, Thank you! I--"  
  
"GET OFF MY HEAD!!!" Karl looked down to see that he had accidentally kneeled on Van's head.  
  
He quickly got up, muttering a reluctant 'Sorry', before proceeding to drag Van to the couch.  
  
"I can walk, ya know." He heard Van mutter, but chose to ignore him.  
  
As soon as they sat down, he realized that everyone was staring at them. He tried not to let it get to him, but he just couldn't take it anymore.  
  
"WOULD YOU PSYCHOTIC PEOPLE STOP STARING AT ME!!!" His 'little' outburst seemed to snap them out of their trance.  
  
At this point, everyone began to go wild, and Weasel, who had managed to get out of the chair, began to hang from the light on the ceiling, pretending to be a monkey. Red Baroness began to bother Raven by clinging to his arm, and not letting go. Michiko began to do the same thing with Van, annoying the crap out of the two pilots.  
  
That was until . . .  
  
"WHY AREN'T YOU PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!!!"  
  
They all turned to face our resident mystery girl.  
  
"Who are you anyway?" Karl proceeded to ask.  
  
An arrogant air began to form around her, as she lifted her right hand over head, and her left hand over her heart in a dramatic pose.  
  
"I, my dear fellow, am the one and only, self proclaimed . . .*dramatic drumroll* Cream Puff! Otherwise known as IkhnyR87!!!!!!!"  
  
They all stood still, staring at the idiotic person in front of them. Then, as fast as the silence came, it was gone, leaving in its wake, the hysterical laughter of everyone, except for our four crazy girls.  
  
"Why are they laughing??"  
  
The 4 girls looked at each other. They were just about to comment on the situation, when . . .  
  
"VAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!! I'M BAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Van cringed at the sound of the high pitched voice, before quickly pushing Michiko off of him, who ambled off to the kitchen. Fiona walked through the door, staring at the room full of people. Not knowing half of them made her feel a little afraid.  
  
"Um . . . hi Fiona," Van said nervously as he looked around.  
  
Fiona looked from Van to the new people occupying the room. She Then focused her gaze back on Van and gave him a suspicious look.  
  
"It's not what you think, I swear!!!!" Van tried to defend himself.  
  
"He's lying, it's just what you think!" Raven added, hoping to get Van in trouble.  
  
Van shot Raven an evil glare as Fiona looked at them, tapping her foot impatiently.  
  
"This is getting good," Michiko came back from her recent visit to the kitchen, returning with a large bowl full to the brim with popcorn.  
  
"Please tell me you are going to share!" Weasel hopped over.  
  
"Excuse me," Michiko pushed herself in-between Karl and Raven, who had just made themselves comfortable on the couch.  
  
"So . . ." Michiko began through a mouthful of popcorn, "which one do you think is going to break first?"  
  
"Van! Who are all these people?" Fiona demanded.  
  
"To tell you the truth, I have no idea, you see I went to open the door because someone knocked, and when I did Karl and Raven were standing there, and one of the girls was tied to a chair and . . . " Van sighed. She was never going to believe this.  
  
"BOO!" Weasel yelled as she threw popcorn at the two.  
  
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?!?!" Van and Fiona stopped their fight long enough to give Weasel the Hairy Eyeball (Otherwise known as a death glare). Weasel donned an innocent look.  
  
"Because its funny and you two were fighting like an old married couple. Please continue!"  
  
Van blushed and Fiona continued to give Weasel the hairy eyeball.  
  
"O-kay. *Ahem* Miss Fiona, please let me introduce me and my so-called friends. I am Red Baroness, the crazy popcorn throwing weirdo is Weasel, the pushy annoying midget is Michiko, and the person huddling in the corner rocking back and forth is CreamPuff." Everyone turned to see CreamPuff muttering ' My name is cute' under her breath on the other side of the room.  
  
"Well, anyway, to make a long story short, we were transported here through a toilet and we need to get back. Wanna help!?"  
  
Fiona stood stone still, looking very shocked and confused.  
  
"It finally happened. I've snapped. I mean, all the warning signs were there, the paranoia, talking to my self, running in to things. Why didn't I see this coming?" Fiona plopped down on the couch, shaking her head and wearing an astonished look.  
  
"It's okay Fiona, I think your still sane." Van walked over to her and sympathetically patted her shoulder. A chorus of 'awws' resounded throughout the room, accompanied by one disapproving grunt from Michiko.  
  
Michiko was about to separate Fiona and Van when the door burst open and a shadowy figure stormed into the room.  
I"VE FINALLY FOUND YOU!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! To Be Continued. . . . . . . .  
  
S how did ya like it? Ya finally got to see the Mystery girl!! And I love leaving the ending just hanging there! Many thanx to Michiko and Creampuff for MAJOR help on this chp. Well, TTFN, ta ta for now!! And always remember, when crossing the jungle, look left, right and up for falling monkeys!! Have Fun!!  
- Sanity-Stealing-Lawn-Gnome 


	9. Toilet Conversations

Hey Hey Hey! It is your ever so lazy authoress, comin to bless you with another chp.! Sry it took so long, but I've been busy with school and a horse and not having enough time to just sit around and do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. *trys to remember the last time she did nothing* nope. I'm drawing a blank here. Now that im done rambling, we can get on with the story.  
  
"" Speech ( ) My comments thoughts  
  
Chapter 8  
  
"HOLY FREAKIN SON OF A MONKEY SPANK!!!!" Michiko jumped five feet in the air, having been startled by the newcomers entrance. The bowl she was holding flew out of her hands.  
  
"Dude," Weasel said. "It's raining popcorn!!" She tried to catch as many kernels as she could in her mouth while singing 'It's Raining Men', replacing 'Men' with 'Popcorn'. Red Baroness and Creampuff joined in. Michiko sat on the couch, looking shell-shocked.  
  
While this was happening, Raven and Karl had jumped behind the couch, and Fiona had jumped into Van's arms.  
  
After getting over the initial shock of what had happened, they all turned to see who had intruded on their 'little-less-than-happy' moment.  
  
Standing in the doorway was Dr. D, looking disheveled and more like a madman than his usual self. That is, if you don't already consider him a madman.  
  
That seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back for Raven. "What do you think your doing, you old coot!? Barging in here like that, giving everyone a heart attack!?! Van's little mind can't take that kind of excitement! Not that I really care what happens to him anyway." He was trying to hide the fact that he had been utterly terrified when the old man had come barreling in.  
  
Dr. D started laughing. "Are you kidding? That was hilarious! Van looked like he was going to have an accident! And the girl with the popcorn bowl was priceless! Now that was truly a Kodak moment!!"  
  
Everyone sweatdropped.  
  
"Well then why did you yell 'I've finally found you' when you came in here?" Red Baroness asked.  
  
"I just thought it would scare you."  
  
"Normal people just yell 'boo'. Oh wait, you're not normal." Raven went to sit on the couch. Dr. D ignored him.  
  
"Anyway, D, it's a good thing you showed up right about now because you're just the man we wanted to see." Van put his arm around D's shoulder and led him to sit on the couch ('accidentally' pushing Raven off to make room). He introduced D to the girls and told him about how they had gotten here and what their present problem was.  
  
"So, have any suggestions?" Fiona asked. Now that she knew why the four girls were here, she was determined to get them back home (partly because she's sweet like that and partly because she didn't want to give Michiko a chance to steal her man).  
  
D sat there for a while, seeming to be in deep thought.  
  
"Well," he finally said. "Have you tried to flush them back down the toilet?"  
  
"Hey! I tried that once! But I couldn't fit." Creampuff said.  
  
"I did too!" Weasel said.  
  
"Let me guess," Michiko said. "You couldn't fit either?"  
  
"Yeah, how'd you know?"  
  
"A little bird told me." She replied sarcastically. Noting the sarcasm, Weasel gets angry, and moves to take her anger out on Michiko. She walks over, grabs Michiko's ear, and twists it, causing her to pitch forward.  
  
" Ow ow ow! Okay! Sarcasm equals pain! I get it already!" Weasel let go of her ear and sat down, a smug look on her face.  
  
Dr. D ignored the girls conversation and tried to think of a solution to their current problem.  
  
"I have an idea! And it's a good one this time too!" he said. " You said that the Toilet Fairy sent you here, right? Well if we can contact him, maybe we could get him to see if his boss will transport you back to your dimension! There are ways to get what you want, you know. We could slip him a bribe or something. Of course, it wouldn't be my money, but we'll figure something out." Michiko rolled her eyes.  
  
"And how do you propose we do that?" Dr D looked at her with a 'duh' expression.  
  
"How else? Flush a message in a bottle down the toilet." Everyone fell over in typical anime style.  
  
"Well if that's the best we can come up with, we might as well try. After everything I've seen so far, anything's possible." Red Baroness said. She went to find a pen, paper and a bottle small enough to go down the toilet.  
  
"Better get used to these people, because we're gonna be stuck here forever." Michiko slumps down further on the couch. "Oh joy."  
  
To Be Continued. . . . . . .  
  
There ya have it! R&R! 


End file.
