


Confused

by AkaOkamiRyu



Category: Zoids
Genre: Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2002-12-31
Updated: 2004-06-15
Packaged: 2013-05-10 13:35:08
Rating: K
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,479
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1154679/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/289120/AkaOkamiRyu
Summary: This is one of the character's point of view. I'm not going to say which one because that would ruin the story. Romance. Enjoy! The story better than summery. FINALLY FINISHED!





	1. Chapter One: My Thoughts

Description- This is my first Zoids Zero fanfic. One of the character's thinking. I'm not going to tell you who because that would ruin things. I hope you like it.

Disclaimer- I don't own Zoids Zero or any of the other seasons for that matter. I have a Command Wolf model but, sadly, not the show. To quote whomever said this first "Life's just not fair."

Dedication- This fanfic is dedicated to everyone who has written a Zoids fanfic, any season, and put it on FanFiction.net. I've read tons of them and loved them all for one reason or another so thank you all!

A/N- This is written in one of the characters P.O.V. I'm still not going to tell you which one because it does say in the first paragraph who is thinking. The ages are all the same as on the show. I'm assuming, and hoping, I'm right. There will be another chapter. The P.O.V. will be the same throughout the story unless I specifically say so. Enjoy.

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Confused

~~~Chapter One: My thoughts~~~

Have you had something and not realized it? Ever realized it and feared it? Overcame the fear and wanted more? But didn't think you could have more? Confused? Well, welcome to my world. Okay. So now you probably want to know who I am, right? Or maybe you'd rather know what I had, feared, wanted more of but doubted I could have more of? Let me tell you today is your lucky day `cause I'm going to tell you all of that. First question. Who am I? I'm Leena Torous. Yup that's right. Leena Torous. Member of the Blitz team, pilot of a Gun Sniper, and temper mental redhead. So now that you know who I am I can continue to the next question. What did I have? I had feelings for Bit Cloud. What did I fear? This is the hard one. I feared a lot of things. Rejection, loss, embarrassment, and a lot of others things that would take more than just one word to explain. But we'll get to that later. What exactly did I want more of, you say? I wanted more out of our relationship. We were friends, but I wanted us to be more. That said I will continue to explain, with more detail, the exact cause of my complete and utter confusion. 

At first I didn't realize my feelings for Bit. Or maybe I did and just wouldn't admit them. To be perfectly honest I'm not sure. I also don't know when I first fell for the great Bit Cloud, only that I did. I suppose that's enough anyhow, right? I doesn't really matter when I did as long as I know it and can now admit it. 

Now when I first made this surprising realization I was, and I can now admit this, afraid. Me, Leena Torous, afraid. Not something you hear too often, eh? I know what your thinking and believe me I was as shocked as you. Well like they say 'learn something new everyday.' Now on to the big question: What exactly was I afraid of? Where shall I start? I was afraid of rejection. Afraid Bit wouldn't feel the same and would reject my feelings. The loss was losing the friendship Bit and I already had. I couldn't lose that. It was too important to me. Bit was the only one my age to talk to and hang out with. And when you're 16 years old it's crucial to be around others your age. Of course embarrassment was another one of those things I feared. Which is, in my opinion, one of the dumbest things to fear, yet everyone, including myself, does. Afraid of looking stupid in front of Bit. In front of anyone, actually. You know me I'm a proud person. Too proud and if Bit didn't share my feelings I knew I would lose all my pride. I didn't like that idea one bit. I had other fears, but I can't name them let alone explain them. I guess those are the kind of fears you have to feel to understand. I hope you never have to feel them. They're awful. Horrible. Something no one should ever have to go through though most people do. Even thinking about them is hard so, if you don't mind, I'd like to continue. Naturally to prevent all this I told myself I didn't feel anything. I ignored my heart and listened to my head. Two words: Big mistake. Let me offer you some advice: If you ever have feelings for someone do not, I repeat DO NOT, ignore them. It's not, NOT, going to go away. If anything the situation will get worse. I speak from experience. I ignored my feelings and it just got harder and harder to see him everyday. Knowing what I felt and not accepting it.

Now when I finally overcame those fears, well as much as one can, and accepted what my heart was trying to tell me I realized I wanted more. More than just friendship. More than to just be his best friend. I wanted to be his girlfriend. I really, really wanted him to care for me in more than just a friend way. But of course this led to doubt which is the next step in this "cycle," as I have come to call it.

Now after I found that I wanted more I realized I could never have more. I would always just be Bit's best friend. I didn't like that. I saw that we could never be more. That he could never return my feelings. And you know what I think I'm right. He never will return my feelings. If I never tell him, that is.

Yup I'm now on the final, and hardest, phase of this "cycle." Telling Bit my feelings. I've debated how to tell him this for a while now. Trying to find the perfect way. Jokes on me because there isn't a perfect, or easy, way to tell him what I have to tell him. I guess I'll just have to tell him when I think the moment is right and hope for the best. Some plan, huh? Well, it's the best I can come up with. I'd like to see you try what I'm attempting to do. It's not an easy task. Believe me. 

"Dinner time everyone." I heard Jamie shout.

He was answered by several people shouting "coming." My voice was among them.

~~~End Chapter One~~~

Well what did you think? Please review. I accept flames with reason. The next chapter will be about Leena telling Bit her feelings. I hope you liked it. Thank you for reading. Good Bye until next time.

Okami


	2. Chapter Two: Picking on Doc

Description- This is my first Zoids Zero fanfic. One of the character's thinking. You now know whom, Leena. She won't tell Bit in this chapter but there is more thinking that I think is necessary to the story.

I want to apologize profusely for not updating sooner. I could not think of what to write. I HATE writer's block. Actually that's another reason why Leena won't tell Bit her feelings in this chapter. I haven't been able to think of how she'll do it, yet.

Disclaimer- I don't own Zoids Zero or any of the other seasons for that matter. I have a Command Wolf and Liger Zero X model but sadly, not the show. To quote whomever said this first "Life's just not fair."

Dedication- Chapter two is dedicated to The Masked Instigator, Fiona Friegheight, and sweet4921. I want to thank you for the reviews.

A/N- Ok this is chapter two. It's still Leena's point of view (P.O.V.).

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Confused

~~~Chapter Two: Picking on Doc~~~

I headed to dinner when Jamie called us. My mind still thinking about this "cycle," more so about the final step of it.

Every day I wake up and tell myself "Today's the day I'll tell him." I never do. I may be able to admit all that other stuff to you but for some reason this is one of the harder things to say. Looking at it, during dinner tonight, I have to stop from laughing at it, out loud. Even though I hadn't told him yet I've tried. Many times. And every time I end up chasing him. To almost anyone else, and even to Bit, it seems as though I'm trying to get back at him for stealing my food. There were the select few, beside myself, that know the real reason. Actually I think only Naomi knows. But then again, she's a girl. Girls can naturally spot that sort of thing.

I've finally stopped thinking about my "cycle" and I started thinking about the irony of it all. I mean think about it. When we met Bit it was because he almost ruined a battle for us. I was so mad at him I hated him from the start. Then all of a sudden he turns out to be the only one who can control the Liger 0 and is a good, or should I say great, pilot. He joins the team and just like that we start winning, for a change. Destiny has an awfully funny, and not funny ha-ha, way of getting people together, doesn't it?

Well, next thing I know we're one of the best teams around and I have fallen totally and completely, jaw drop, heart stop, in love with that cocky blonde pilot. Like I said ironic, eh? I think so, anyhow. After all it's not everyday that a girl falls for one of her best friends, is it? Probably is come to think of it. Then again how many of them ever end up telling that person what they feel? But me, I'll be one of the few that does, I hope.

Anyhow where all eating dinner and it's awfully quiet. Ever heard the saying that silence is eerie? Well that may be a little too strong a term but it's pretty darn close when you live with the Blitz team and noise is as constant and inescapable as the weather is. Of course it shouldn't be all that surprising. We had a very grueling battle against the Tasker sisters. Those two are good, darn good. Plus they have a new team member and she's not far behind them in skill, not far at all.

Now thinking about the two Tasker sisters brings on another emotion. Maybe two. The first is inadequacy. Those two are great pilots and are beautiful. Much nicer looking then I am at least. Why would Bit want me when he could have one of them? Come to think of it Bit's so well known by now he could probably have any teenage girl on planet Zi. Maybe even some that aren't exactly teenaged, which is a thought that could be rather frightening.

And as to emotion number two it would probably be jealousy. Like I said the Tasker sisters are beautiful. I've noticed the way guys look at them. Those are the kind of looks I wish Bit would give me, but he doesn't, of course. I can't help but be jealous of them. Who wouldn't be? Probably any one with more self-esteem than I do. Which, honestly, is about every other person on the planet.

As I'm thinking I fail to notice that conversation has finally erupted at the dinner table. Obviously the others have noticed that I'm daydreaming, or nightmaring since my thoughts aren't exactly that good or positive. Bit is the first one to ask me about it. Truthfully it's more like teasing than questioningly. But then again that's Bit. Never one to miss the chance to give me a hard time. Not that I'm any different to him. Of course that's probably because we all live in such close contact. As the old saying goes familiarity breeds contempt. Not that it's contempt more like regular teen-aged teasing since we are the only teenagers here, besides Jamie that is, but then again he's just so much more sensitive to that kind of thing than Bit and I are.

"What's the matter Leena? Liger got your tongue?" He jokes assuming it's funny, which it's not, by the way.

"Really funny Bit. I see Liger hasn't got your appetite." I countered while giving a nod toward his plate piled with massive amounts of Jamie's specialty: Spaghetti and meatballs with salad and homemade garlic bread. I smile satisfied with his reaction. He nods in a really sheepish manner then begins to eat once again. At least eating shuts him up.

After dinner we all go into the sitting room. Brad watches some battles on the television. Dad is in the other room working on a model. While they do that I laugh out loud as a very flustered Jamie attempts, attempts being the key word, to teach a very angry Bit to play chess. Watching anyone try to teach Bit chess would usually be funny enough but to add to it Bit keeps complaining about the pieces.

"How dumb! There are no Ligers in this game. There isn't any zoid at all. What's the point, Jamie?" Sometimes Bit can be so single minded.

"There's not suppose to be any Zoids in it. This game has been around longer than the oldest known Zoids have been."

"No wonder it's so boring. It's old. Old things are always boring and pointless and stupid!" Bit yells in pure anger and frustration.

Brad has obviously noticed that this is getting Jamie really angry. In order to prevent a fight he decides to lighten the mood by making a joke. "Hey Bit you'd better not let Doc hear you say that he may think your talking about him." Just then Dad walked in. Apparently he had heard everything from 'Old things are always boring and pointless and stupid!' and on. I was willing to bet he didn't know that the conversation as about chess. I was right.

"What do you mean?! I'm NOT old, boring, or stupid!" He shouted indignantly. Unfortunately, for my father, he had forgot to mention that he wasn't pointless, and I wasn't the only one to notice that fact. Only a few short seconds later the sitting room of the Blitz team base was enveloped in a peaceful and comfortable laughter. Dad, realizing the mistake, began to laugh along with the rest of us. We laughed for at least a good two minutes, until we all had aching sides.

"We weren't talking about you Doc. We were talking about chess. Bit here, in his pigheadedness, thinks chess should have zoids in it." Jamie told dad while rolling his eyes at the glares Bit was giving him from his comment.

"You know, I think Bit may have a point there. It would be better with zoids in it. What a great idea! I'm going into town to get some miniature zoid models and a chess board! If anyone wants to come I'll be back in five minutes. If your coming be ready and waiting." With that Dad left for his office to get ready to go. All the while he was muttering, "Genius, absolutely genius."

"Well I'm going. Someone's gotta keep Doc from spending our money, too." I rolled my eyes. Brad was always thinking about money. Or was it that...

"Well that could be the reason, but you know I heard Naomi was going to be staying in that town for a few days. Perhaps our favorite mercenary also heard this rumor?" I smiled in a satisfied way when I saw the look on Brad's face.

"In that case I'll go, too. It's going to be a lot of work to keep Doc from spending to much money and keep Brad from attacking every guy who looks at Naomi the wrong way." I watched Brad turn red yet again and then see him jump after Jamie.

"Wait a minute. That means me and Leena will be here alone." Bit realized at the same time I had. "Let me go with you please!" He begged Dad as he returned with the keys to the van.

"Sorry Bit, but after we have all the supplies loaded there won't be enough room for another passenger." I groaned along with Bit. I may have liked him, or should I say loved him, but that didn't make spending any amount of time alone with him any easier. Most likely we would fight the entire time. Well that or completely ignore each other, neither of which were very exciting.

"But Dad." I pleaded.

"I'm sorry you two but you'll have to stay home this time. Now when we get back I'd like to see the base in one piece, understand?" Dad could be such a parent some times and only the times when he didn't need to be.

"No worries Doctor Torous. We're practically adults. We know how to behave." Bit said in what he must have assumed to be a cool and mature manner. It wasn't but I agreed with him anyhow.

"Yeah Dad. We'll be good."

"And no fighting."

"C'mon sir we never fight."

"Where on Zi would you get such a ridiculous and ludicrous idea? Imagine Bit and I fight. Why I never!" We might not always get along but when it comes to teasing others we worked together quite well.

"Alright, alright. I get the picture. We're going to go then. We'll probably just stay in a motel for the night being that it's so late." 

"Yeah and if we're not coming home tonight then you'd better behave in more ways then one. If you know what I mean." Brad gave a conspiritual wink to the both of us.

"BRAD!" Bit and I yelled at the same time. Both of us were angry but slightly embarrassed by his remark. I noted the red on Bit's face matched that of mine and I have to admit I was kind of glad he too was embarrassed.

"I had to get you to back for that remark about Naomi from before. And don't worry I'll be getting Jamie back as well." He grinned a rather cocky grin which was very out of place on Brad. Jamie shuddered worriedly, but then again if I were him I'd be worried too.

"See you in the morning." Dad, Jamie, and Brad left. Bit and I watched them disappear in the east. I sighed and turned to Bit.

"So what do you want to do?"

~~~End Chapter Two~~~

Well how did my few, very few, readers like the new chapter? Like I said before I accept flames with a good reason. Sorry I know I said Leena would tell Bit her feelings in this chapter but I've been having trouble thinking up how and I didn't want you guys to wait any longer. I PROMISE next chapter Leena will admit her feelings. I also promise not to take so long in updating. Hope you guys liked it. Bye until next time!

Okami


	3. Chapter Three: Getting Along Alone

Description- This is my first Zoids Zero fanfic. One of the character's thinking. You now know whom, Leena. This is the final chapter. It wasn't going to be, but I've run out of ideas. This is Okami, I had to change my name.

Disclaimer- I don't own Zoids Zero or any of the other seasons for that matter. I have a Command Wolf, Liger Zero X, Konig Wolf, Attack Cat, and Zaber Fang model but sadly, not the show. To quote whomever said this first "Life's just not fair."

Dedication- Chapter three is dedicated to all my reviewers. Most especially sweet4921. I want to thank you for the reviews.

Chapter Three: Getting Along Alone

"I don't know. What do you want to do, Lena?" Bit asked me, smiling slightly. I wondered why but didn't ask. I was too busy trying to figure out something we could do that wouldn't end up with us fighting or ignoring each other.

"I'm not really sure." I admitted. "We've never really been left behind before. I suppose we could always just watch television, or a movie, or something." I didn't really want to and I guess the tone of my voice said as much because Bit turned to me.

"Naw. We can do that any old time. Well anytime we're fighting, which is almost any day of the week. Right now we're getting along great so I say we make the most of it. Let's do something different." I could tell by the sparkle in his eyes he had something in mind, though I couldn't, for the life of me, imagine what it was. (A/N- At this moment I honestly don't know what it's going to be either. I'm pretty much making this up as I go so I guess your not the only one's who'll have to keep going to find out.)

"So you have any ideas? You look like you do." I was curious so I decided to be direct about it. That's a first. I was actually direct with Bit. I was answered with a grin and a wink.

"I may. But it's a secret until I decide you can know." He laughed and a shot him a glance that was half curious, half glare. "All right, all right. First things first. I'm hungry." The next look he was given was one of exasperation. "Come on, I've got a surprise."

I followed him with apprehension, still wondering what on earth he was up to. We walked into the kitchen, and then Bit went over to the refrigerator, and pulled out a container of sorts. In it were some sandwiches, some cut fruit, and a few other food items.

"What's this about Cloud?" I interrogated him, my voice slightly harsh, but the soft edge was easy to hear. He smiled at me.

"Gee Lena, can't I ever do something nice for ya?" He smiled again, that same charming, heart-melting smile. Then he took something out of the oven. In my curiosity I hadn't realized it was on, or the scent coming from it. Gingerly he pulled the first cookie off, burning his hand on contact. I laughed slightly, as he took a spatula and set the cookies in a bag. Then he motioned for me to follow him, and again I did. We walked toward the door of the base, stopping at the linen closet first, grabbing a blanket.

Soon I found myself outside, under a sky of stars, sparkling, and twinkling like millions of diamonds, matching and surpassing the precious gems in their beauty.

"Where we going, Bit?" I asked, my voice a whisper, though I didn't know why. It was as though I was afraid the stars would extinguish themselves if I disturbed them.

His reply was spoken with equal quietness, though there was something else to it. Something I didn't hear much in Bit's voice, it was softer then usual. "It's a surprise." I nodded and followed him. After a while he spoke again. "Lena, close your eyes." I obeyed and he took my hand, leading me along with a surprising gentleness. We traveled along this way for several minutes before he stopped and walked around me, setting down the food, and putting his hands over my eyes. He seemed to be waiting for something. Personally I was at a loss as to what it was. Then he moved his hands away, and spoke into my ear. "Okay, you can open your eyes now."

When I did I was met by the most beautiful sight. We were in a desert oasis, somehow he'd managed to find one I hadn't.

"Surprised?" He asked tenderly.

"It's beautiful, Bit."

"Not as beautiful as you, Lena." I looked at him at those words, and found myself sinking into his eyes. "I've wanted to tell you for ages, but I couldn't, I can't believe I am now. There's so much at stake. We're teammates and if you hate me after this, we stand to lose that, but," His eyes were soft, loving, something I'd never have expected to be directed at me. "But you're worth it. Lena, I love you. I know love at first site is cheesy, but it's true."

I smiled back at him, and found myself hugging him, though I couldn't remember moving into such a position.

"Love you too, Bit." My voice was as tender as his had been, and I knew it. We met in a kiss that lasted a few short, but sweet moments. Pulling away I grinned at him. "You're right though, that was cheesy." We laughed and sat down to eat, but instead of sitting across from each other, we sat next to one another.

So Bit Cloud loves me, eh? You'd think it would take something more complicated then that to get rid of so much confusion. But it didn't. All it took was three little words. I love you.

End Third and Final Chapter  
Sorry it was a long time coming, and sorrier still it sucks so badly. I lost all inspiration and idea for it. Really I had intended this as a one shot. So sorry about that all.

Also I realize this ENTIRE fic was really short, but my older ones seem to be. I've got an idea or two for some new Zoid fics and they'll be better, when they get up and done.

Please review, I'd appreciate it. Note that flames are used for fires, which I in turn use to burn my test papers before my parents find them. So if you have them, go ahead and put them, I shall give them true purpose. Lol.

AkaOkamiRyu


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