


Late Nite with Raven!

by Sadak0



Category: Zoids
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2002-05-02
Updated: 2003-02-10
Packaged: 2013-05-11 02:08:29
Rating: T
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,439
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/755238/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/201682/Sadak0
Summary: What happens when you get me, Raven, and whole bunch of other strange people on a late night TV show?This! (for all you people who like Raven from Zoids)Rated PG-13 for adult like situations, and may have Van/Ban bashing. Fire Fox, guess who the guest is!





	1. Late Nite with Raven!

I do not own Zoids!! If I did, Raven would be my very own personal boyfriend. ^_^ (I own Kala!!)  
  
Kala =Me ;D  
  
Lily =my friend  
  
  
  
Announcer: Hello, and welcome to one of Planet Zi's favorite shows: LATE NITE WITH RAVEN! And here's our host, you know him, you love him, Raven!!!  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly*  
  
Raven: *is snoring away, drooling, and a bubble is coming in and out of his nose as he breathes* Zzzz…Zzzz….  
  
Kala: RAVEN!!!! WAKE UP!!! WE ARE ON TELEVISION!!! *shakes him*  
  
Raven: *wakes up* Eh? Wha….what happened to the morning show? I want coffee!  
  
Kala: The morning show was cancelled because people wanted it at night so we could discuss more mature topics without the children watching. And NO, you may not have coffee. And if you want to get out of here with Shadow, he's tied up somewhere until the show is done.  
  
Raven: *sulks and crosses arms* Well what do we do on THIS show then? I should be in bed with you having se- I mean…*thinks quickly* …killing Ban right now, yeah, that's it. Give me back Shadow!  
  
Kala: *smiles grimly and nudges Raven*  
  
Ban: Raven, you are a sick monkey!  
  
Raven: *gets up and topples the table he is sitting at* Oh yeah? Well, if I'm a sick monkey, that you must be an ugly, old, smelly, old Iron Kong!  
  
Kala: You said old twice.  
  
Raven: So what?!?!  
  
Ban: That's an insult!  
  
Kala: *rolls eyes and thinks: No, really?*  
  
Ban: Grrrr…  
  
Raven: Rrrrr…  
  
Kala: Boys, boys, don't argue. Let's solve this problem another way. When we come back, Ban and Raven will talk out their differences. But first, these messages! *gives thumbs up sign and smiles cheesy grin toward camera*  
  
--------------------------------  
  
--Start Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: Are you ugly? Are you really ugly? Like this poor, deformed, UGLY man? *camera goes to a shot of Ban*  
  
Ban: Hey! I'm not ugly!  
  
Commercial Guy: Then buy: "This product is for ugly women or men only!" You'll be amazed at the results! After one treatment, this ugly man was transformed into this! *camera goes to a shot of Raven*  
  
Raven: Try it, it's great! Plus, you'll like the tingle. Hey, what's the matter with this script? There's no tingle! *camera quickly angles off Raven*  
  
Commercial Guy: Ugly! *camera on Ban*  
  
Ban: Grrrr…  
  
Commercial Guy: Cool! *camera on Raven*  
  
Raven: *thumbs up sign*  
  
Commercial Guy: Ugly! *camera on Ban*  
  
Ban: Grrrr…  
  
Commercial Guy: Cool! *camera on Raven*  
  
Raven: *thumbs up sign*  
  
Commercial Guy: Ugly! *camera on Ban*  
  
Ban: Grrrr…  
  
Commercial Guy: Cool! *camera on Raven*  
  
Raven: *thumbs up sign*  
  
Fast Voice: Buy Now! "This product is for ugly women or men only!" It will transform you from an ugly person to a handsome, suave, cool person. Plus, you'll like the tingle. This product costs $59.99 plus $100 in shipping and handling. This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
--Start Another Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: Raven Crisps! The best cereal to hit the shelves since Frosted Shadow Flakes! Not only are there crunchy pieces in the shape of Raven's head that don't get soggy in milk, there are marshmallow Ban heads that you can mash to your delight!  
  
Small Children: Yay! Marshmallow Ban heads that we can mash to our delight!  
  
Ban: What are you people, headhunters?  
  
Small Children: No! MARSHMALLOW headhunters!  
  
Fast Voice: Raven Crisps, part of this good breakfast! This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
--------------------------------  
  
Kala: Hello! And welcome back to our show! Here we have Ban and Raven, two arch- rivals here to talk out their problems. So boys, what's the problem?  
  
Raven: I don't see what I did wrong. It's HIS entire fault!  
  
Ban: Really? Was I the one that destroyed tons of bases, ruins, and forts, killed thousands of innocent people, and…uh… *thinks* ..drank the last spot of coffee?  
  
Kala: How dare you pounce on him like that! He was only…exploiting his Zoid's full potential! Isn't that right, Raven, sweetie? *snuggles against him*  
  
Raven: Uh…yeah…*blushes bright red and starts to drool*  
  
Ban: *smirks* Yeah, whatever. What about the coffee?  
  
Raven: I-  
  
Kala: He was thirsty! Now if you boys are goings to start fighting again, we might as well go to another commercial…  
  
Both: No!  
  
Ban: Besides, you seem to be advertising Raven more than the product.  
  
Raven: I can't help it if I was born handsome.  
  
Kala: And I'm glad you can't… *gets uncomfortably close*  
  
Raven: Not that I don't enjoy you being snuggled up to me, but.. THIS IS PUBLIC TV!!  
  
Kala: So? *runs a finger down his cheek*  
  
Raven: *pulls away*  
  
Ban: *bursts out laughing* Go… to… a…commercial…Hahahaha!!  
  
Raven: What's so funny Ban? How would you feel if it was you and Fiona?  
  
Ban: *stops laughing*  
  
--------------------------------  
  
--Start Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: The Raven pet!  
  
People in Background: Raven, Raven, Raven!  
  
Commercial Guy: The pottery shaped like Raven's head with a hole in the top! Just put dirt in it, plant the seeds and water! Soon you will have beautiful plants that you can style in any way for Raven's hair! Comes with clippers, seeps, pot, water, and as a special bonus, a picture of me, the Commercial Guy! The Raven pet!  
  
People in Background: Raven, Raven, Raven!  
  
Fast Voice: The Raven Pet! The pottery shaped like Raven's head with a hole in the top! Just put dirt in it, plant the seeds and water! Soon you will have beautiful plants that you can style in any way for Raven's hair! Comes with clippers, seeps, pot, water, and as a special bonus, a picture of the Commercial Guy! This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
--Start Another Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: Raven Crackers! Crackers in the shape of Raven's head! They also come in Shadow, Kala, and that idiot Ban designs! Salty, crunchy, and fun to eat! They're the best snack since Goldwarsharks!  
  
Fast Voice: Raven Crackers! The best snack since Goldwarsharks! They come in Raven, Shadow, Kala, and that idiot Ban designs! This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
Kala: Wow, 20 minutes have gone by already.  
  
Raven: What!? You better give me extra-  
  
Kala(mimic voice): Stop! It's public TV!  
  
Raven: *crosses arms and mumbles something inappropriate*  
  
Kala: Well, anyway, since the talk between the two enemies failed, we will now bring on a special guest! Raven, why don't you introduce her?  
  
Raven: *falling asleep* Huh… what? Oh, yeah, sure. Now introducing, our special guest, Lily!  
  
Lily: *walks in and sits in between Raven and Kala* Hi Kala!  
  
Kala: Hey Lily! What's up?  
  
Lily: Oh, nothing much. Regular Tamer stuff, you know?  
  
Kala: Yeah. I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen, Lily is not only an expert Digimon Tamer, but a Dark Master as well!  
  
Lily: Yeah, it's great fun too! Destroying, torturing, it's the life.  
  
Raven: *perks up at the words "destroying" and "torturing"* I do the exact same thing! Isn't it great?  
  
Lily: Yeah. Hey! How 'bout next time I bring over the other Dark Masters and we have a one hour special?  
  
Kala: That sounds great! How about you, audience?  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly*  
  
Kala: Alrighty then! See ya next time everybody! Bye!  
  
Raven: Bye…*crosses arms* Why couldn't we have it longer?  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly* 


	2. The Hour Special!

I don't own Zoids! If I did, Raven would be my very own personal boyfriend. ^_^ (I own Kala!!)  
  
Kala= Me ;D  
  
Lily= my friend  
  
  
  
Announcer: Hello, and welcome to one of Planet Zi's favorite shows, LATE NITE WITH RAVEN! And, here's our host, you know him, you love him, Raven!!!  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly*  
  
Raven: *isn't there*  
  
Announcer: Where is he? Is Kala there?  
  
Some Unknown Dude: No sir, they're both gone.  
  
Announcer: Where could they be? We have a show to do!  
  
Some Unknown Dude: They're probably in the same place.  
  
Announcer: Where could that be, may I ask?  
  
SUD: Just to take an educated guess, I'd say Raven's bedroom *cough*cough*  
  
Audience: *laughter and ewws are heard*  
  
Back at uh… somewhere….  
  
Kala and Raven: *busy making out* Mmm…  
  
Phone: RIIIING!!!  
  
Kala and Raven: *busy making out* Mmm…  
  
Phone: RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!  
  
Kala and Raven: *busy making out* Mmm…  
  
Phone: YO! LOVERS!!! ANSWER ME!!! THE PHONE!!!!  
  
Raven: *answers the phone* What do you want?! Oh! The show! I forgot, d***it!! Kala, get dressed, we have to go!  
  
Kala: Fine… *gets dressed*  
  
Raven: Wow, that was fast. *is still…uh…nude* *tries getting dressed fast* Hey it worked! Cool…  
  
Kala: I learned it from The Sims. Let's go!  
  
1 Back at the studio…  
  
Announcer: Where are they!?!  
  
Kala and Raven: Hello!  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly*  
  
Kala: On with the show!! Where is Lily?  
  
Lily: Been waiting here the whole time!  
  
Kala: Oh, hey!  
  
Raven: Hello…  
  
Kala: Where are the Dark Masters?  
  
Lily: Oh, here, I'll call them out. Dark Masters!! COME OUT BEFORE I WHIP YOU!!  
  
*Puppetmon, Piedmon, Metalseadramon, and Machinedramon walk out*  
  
Raven: Eh…interesting…  
  
Kala: Whoa! Those… uh… things are cool!  
  
Lily: And I've tamed them! Bwahahahaha!!!  
  
Raven: Ehh…right…  
  
Kala: Wow, look at the time! It seems we need a commercial break!  
  
Raven: But we just started!  
  
Kala: Shutup!  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
--Start Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: Raven Guitar Picks! Guitar picks in the shape of Raven's head! Now when you play the guitar, you can enjoy Raven's face! *camera goes on Raven, holding a pick and guitar*  
  
Raven: Now when I play the guitar, I can even look at myself! *pretends to play guitar and guitar music plays in background*  
  
Ban (out of nowhere): You don't even know HOW to play the guitar!  
  
Raven: What are you doing here?! You're in the next commercial!!  
  
Ban: Ooo! What's it about?  
  
Raven: I can't tell you that, it would spoil it! Now Go!  
  
Ban: Aw, man! *walks off*  
  
Raven: Anyway… *cough* it even has a voice playback feature! Watch! *presses little button on pick* Raven so rocks. *presses it again*  
  
Voice Playback Thing: Raven so rocks.  
  
Raven: Cool huh?  
  
Fast Voice: Raven Guitar Picks! Guitar picks in the shape of Raven's head! It even has a voice play back option! This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
--Start Another Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: Piedmon Bashing Video With Clips of Raven and Kala in the past shows! For all you Piedmon fans, don't buy it because Piedmon dies all the time. Otherwise, waste your money on these annoying and pointless commercials!  
  
Ban: I hated this movie! Piedmon got blown up, beheaded, smashed, hung, slitted, strangled, stabbed, and starved to death! It was horrible!  
  
Kala: No one asked you! Shutup and let the people buy our merchandise!  
  
Fast Voice: Piedmon Bashing Video with clips of Raven and Kala in the past shows! The product costs $55.99 and $3,000 Shipping and Handling. As a special bonus, if you call in the next 20 seconds we will double the price to $105.99! This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
------------------------------------  
  
Kala: Hello, and welcome back!  
  
Ban: Hi!!!  
  
Kala: You're not in this show now!  
  
Lily: Oh come on. You know that Puppetmon needs a friend. *wink*wink*nudge*nudge*  
  
Kala: Oh, right! Ban, sit down. Puppetmon, I have a friend for you here!  
  
Puppetmon: Really? Yay! C'mon friend, let's go play!  
  
Ban: Play what?  
  
Puppetmon: Hide, Seek and Des- I mean, Hide and Seek!  
  
Ban: Oh, ok! I'll hide!  
  
Puppetmon and Ban: *both walk off stage*  
  
Kala: So, let's do the interviews with the other Dark Masters! First up, since Puppetmon isn't here, is Piedmon! So Piedmon, what is your favorite thing to do?  
  
Piedmon: Just destroy, you know.  
  
Kala: Who is your ultimate crush?  
  
Piedmon: Oh, Myotismon. I mean uh… LadyDevimon!  
  
Kala: Oh My God! You're a f-fa-fa-f… YOU'RE GAY!! *everyone laughs*  
  
Piedmon: Don't laugh at me! Stop! Waaahhhh!!! *runs off screen*  
  
Kala: Hahaha!! That was funny!! Ok, next up is… Metalseadramon! **an explosion is heard off screen*  
  
Lily: I guess Puppetmon found Ban.  
  
Kala: Oh yeah.  
  
Ban(is all fried and burnt): Save me!!! This guy is a maniac!!! Ahhhhh!!!! *runs off, with Puppetmon following behind*  
  
Puppetmon: Oh, c'mon friend! Play Hide, Seek and DESTROY with me! It's fun!  
  
Raven: Bwahahahaha!! Look at that idiot run! Hahaha!  
  
Kala: Raven, you should go save him, you don't want to let Puppetmon kill him when you can!  
  
Raven: Good point! *pulls out a knife from his pocket* Wait for me Puppetmon! *a crash is heard off screen and Raven and Ban come back, Ban completely unharmed*  
  
Kala: What happened?  
  
Raven: I decided not to kill him. Yet… Bwahahahaha!  
  
Ban: That makes me feel so much better.  
  
Lily: Commercial time!  
  
Kala: Hey, that's my line! It's also completely off subject!  
  
Lily: *sticks tongue out* Hahaha!  
  
-------------------------------------------  
  
--Start Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: Do you enjoy pretzels? Then you'll enjoy Raven and Co. Pretzels! Pretzels with the designs of Kala, the idiot Ban, Lily, Shadow, and of course, Raven! Make sure you mash the Ban pretzels extra!  
  
Raven: *eating Ban's head* Die Ban, die!!!  
  
Fast Voice: Raven and Co. Pretzels! Pretzels with the designs of Kala, that idiot Ban, Lily, Shadow, and of course, Raven! This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
--Start Another Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: Hope all you fat people out there love Raven! Because now we have Raven O's! The macaroni noodles in the shape of Raven and Co! Ban comes extra crunchy, so you can chew him up real well!  
  
Ban: Why do you people INSIST on bashing me?  
  
Fast Voice: Raven O's, the macaroni noodles in the shape of Raven and Co! Ban comes extra crunchy! This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
Kala: Hello! Welcome back! Now, we were going to interview Metalseadramon, so let's get to it! Metalseadramon, what is you favorite thing to do?  
  
Metalseadramon: Well, I like swimming destroying, swimming, and did I mention destroying? Or swimming?  
  
Raven: Uh, yeah, about 100 times! Let's get on with the next interview.  
  
Kala: Oh, come on Raven, don't you like this?  
  
Raven: Well, first of all, it interrupted OUR making out time. Second, I'm tired… Otherwise, I'm fine.  
  
Kala: Uh, ok. Anyway, Machinedramon, what do YOU like to do?  
  
Machinedramon: Destroy, DUH!  
  
Kala: Oh, yeah. You ARE a Dark Master… meh, heck with the "appropriate" questions! Have you ever made out?  
  
Machinedramon: Uh, no, I don't think so…  
  
Kala: Does that mean you might have been drunk and someone took you?  
  
Machinedramon: Well, I HAVE had quite a few drunk moments… who know what could of happened then…  
  
Kala: OooOOOooo….  
  
Machinedramon: What about YOU, huh?  
  
Kala: Oh yeah, TONS of times. Right Raven?  
  
Raven: *thinks: My God, this can't be happening…* Uh… yes… *blushes*  
  
Machinedramon: *falls over anime style*  
  
Lily: Whoa, TOO much information, Kala.  
  
Kala: Thank you!  
  
Lily: *joins Machinedramon in the anime style falling along with the audience, SUD, everyone else and Announcer*  
  
Ban: Raven, you actually did it with a girl? I mean, I'm not surprised, but HER?  
  
Raven: *perks out of his embarrassment state* Huh? What?  
  
Kala: *stomps to Ban* Hey buddy! What do you think you're doing, saying stuff like that? I'm disgusted at the thought of you and Fiona! You have not right to say that! If this wasn't TV, I'd make that Piedmon video, only with YOU in it!  
  
Ban: No, please, don't hurt me!  
  
Kala: Good. Now, Keep your mouth shut unless you have an aching pain to open it!  
  
Ban: Mmm!  
  
Kala: Now, let's interview Puppetmon! So Puppetmon, even though I already know, what do you like to do?  
  
Puppetmon: Play Hide, Seek and Destroy!  
  
Raven (annoyed): Gee, how did I know? How about it Puppetmon? Did you ever do it?  
  
Puppetmon: Oh yeah! All the time with my toys!  
  
Everyone else except Puppetmon: EWW!!! *falls over anime style*  
  
Kala: Does everyone think this is a good enough one-hour special?  
  
Everyone: Yes!  
  
Kala: Ok! See ya next time everybody! On: LATE NITE WITH RAVEN!! Bye!  
  
Raven:…  
  
Kala: *elbows Raven*  
  
Raven: Ow! Bye… 


	3. Two Special Guests!

I don't own Zoids! If I did, Raven would be my very own personal boyfriend. ^_^ (I own Kala!!)  
  
Kala= Me ;D  
  
Lily= my friend  
  
Bazito= my other friend  
  
Zinry(pronunciation=Zen-ra)= my other friend  
  
  
  
Announcer: Hello, and welcome to one of Planet Zi's favorite shows, LATE NITE WITH RAVEN! And, here's our host, you know him, you love him, Raven!!!  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly*  
  
Raven: Zzzt… Bzzt…  
  
Kala: Zzzt… Bzzt…  
  
SUD: Uh… I think they're holograms sir.  
  
Announcer: What? PLEASE don't tell me they're making out again!  
  
SUD: No, it's something else.  
  
Announcer: Oh yeah? What is it?  
  
SUD: Make up.  
  
1 At the make up place…  
  
Kala: Raven! Stop kissing me! You're messing up my lipstick!  
  
Raven: You don't need that…  
  
Kala: Yes I do! Go open up the show so the audience doesn't rowdy. Now!  
  
Raven: Fine…  
  
2 At the studio…  
  
Raven: Hello! We're sorry for the delay, but now we're back! And today we have a few very interesting people on our show. Along with what's-her-face, we also have Zinry and Bazito!  
  
Kala: Her name is LILY. And let me tell you about our guests. From the Digital world, we have Zinry, a young boy who has a HUMONGOUS crush on Lily.  
  
Zinry: You weren't supposed to tell her that! You idiot!!  
  
Kala (a little scared): And, from Earth, we have the Saiyan Bazito!  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly*  
  
Bazito: Thank you! Thank you! I know I am the greatest, so why don't I host this show?  
  
Kala: You already have one. Anyway, Let's get on with the questioning. First-  
  
Ban: Ooo!! Please, can I be questioned? Please, please, please?  
  
Kala: *kissing Raven* Huh? Oh, uh…  
  
Raven: Yes, Ban, why don't you take a seat? *gets a knife that is hidden in his back pocket ready to pull out*  
  
Kala: O…k… First, we have Zinry. Zinry, is it true that you are in love with Lily?  
  
Zinry: Ye- I mean, no, no. *blushes*  
  
Kala: Right…*thinks* What feelings do you have about Ban? Do you think he's cool? Do you hate him?  
  
Zinry: Let's put it this way: Ban is so dumb, when he bought T shirt that said TGIF on it, he thought it stood for This Goes In Front! And when he hear about the moonwalk, he though they were talking about Neil Armstrong! Also, his mother is so fat that when she stepped in the ocean, all the whales stepped out and said, "We are family!"  
  
Kala: *is laughing really hard, along with everyone else except Ban*  
  
Ban: Waaahhhh!!! Stop laughing! It's not funny!  
  
Raven: You know what Ban? You're right. It's not funny. We'll stop.  
  
Ban: Really?  
  
Raven: No! *continues laughing*  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
--Start Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: Raven Dolls! The dolls with 1,000 different sayings on them! Some include: "Wanna make out?" "I'm hot!" and "Ban is a gay weirdo that never stops being optimistic! He sucks!"  
  
Little Child: These dolls are great! Not only did it get me into Juvie Hall, but also now I have rights to scare everyone I meet! They rock!  
  
Fast Voice: Raven Dolls! The dolls with 1,000 different sayings on them! All sayings may not be appropriate. This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
--Start another Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: Are you in a room full of idiots? ARE you an idiot? Then you'll need to buy Idiot Formula! The formula meant only for idiots that transforms you into a brainy guy in no time! Look at this helpless, stupid man. *camera goes on Ban*  
  
Ban: What are you doing? I'm not stupid? What kind of sick show is this?  
  
Commercial Guy: After using Idiot Formula (and a dosage of This product is for ugly women or men only), he was completely transformed into this intelligent person, a person who can make a difference in our society. *camera goes on Raven*  
  
Raven: Idiot Formula is great! If you liked This product is for ugly women or men only, then you'll like this! It even has a more satisfying tingle than This product is for ugly women or men only!  
  
Fast Voice: Idiot Formula! The formula that will transform you into a brainy guy in no time! It even has a more satisfying tingle This product is for ugly women or men only! If you are an idiot and are living alone, get your couch to call. This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
Kala: Welcome back! Now if you remembered where we left off, we had just finished interviewing Zinry. Now, let's go to Bazito. So, Bazito, what's it like to be a Saiyan?  
  
Bazito: It rocks! Too bad you aren't one. *sticks out tongue*  
  
Kala: Yeah. Right. What feelings do you have about Ban?  
  
Bazito: Well, if I were to choose how much I dislike him on a scale of one to ten, ten being the highest, I'd have to say… GET A BIGGER SCALE!!  
  
Kala: Hahaha! Eh… where is Ban anyway?  
  
Raven: Oh, he's crying the corner.  
  
Kala: Ok. Now Bazito, have you ever made out?  
  
Bazito: Yeah.  
  
Kala: With who?  
  
Bazito: I ain't telling you that!  
  
Kala: Darn. Ok, fine, now Ban, you're up. *sighs*  
  
Ban: Yay! *sits next to Kala* What question do you wanna ask me first Kala?  
  
Kala: *sees Raven sneaking up behind Ban with a knife* Hehe…Ok, Ban, what do you like to do?  
  
Ban: I like to fight in Zoid battle-*falls to ground*  
  
Kala: Raven! Did you really kill him?  
  
Raven: No, but if he ever goes droning on like that again I will.  
  
Lily: But he barely said anything…  
  
Kala: AHEM! No one is to be on Ban's side. Those who are will be terminated!  
  
Bazito: By me? Please, can I terminate them?  
  
Kala: No, you idiot, by me! Now, let's get back to the show. But first, these-  
  
Raven: But we just got out of a commercial!!  
  
Kala: No one asked you! If you want to keep sleeping with me, agree and don't question my authority.  
  
Raven: But I'm the host! I should make all the decisions!  
  
Kala (whispers): Oh really? Look buddy, if you are enjoying our affairs, keep your mouth shut or I'll move away.  
  
Raven: You wouldn't really do that, would you?  
  
Kala: That's not important! Now, let's go to a commercial!  
  
Raven: Fine… *crosses arms*  
  
--------------------------------------------------------  
  
--Start Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: Voodoo Ban dolls! Every time you stick a pin in him, burn him, smash him, or conduct any other act of violence on him, the REAL Ban feels the pain! Watch! *pokes a pin in Ban doll*  
  
Ban: Ow!! *starts twitching on the floor as if being attacked*  
  
Kala: It looks like he's twitching on the floor as if he's being attacked! Maybe we should stop mass-producing this stuff.  
  
Zinry: No way! We must let Ban suffer and Raven rise!! Bwahahahaha!!  
  
Kala: Uh, right…  
  
Fast Voice: Voodoo Ban dolls! Every time you poke conduct an act of violence on it, the REAL Ban feels the pain. This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
Kala: Well, that was a short commercial break. I guess we ran out of time!  
  
Raven: Yeah, too bad. I guess we'll have to go back to my be- I mean HOME, Kala.  
  
Kala: Yeah… *wink* Audience, let's give a big applause for our special guests, Bazito and Zinry! See ya next time on LATE NITE WITH RAVEN!!! Bye!! *hops into Raven's arms*  
  
Raven: Oof! Bye everyone!  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: To that one person who said that Ban was Van (I forget the name), I call him Van when I talk about him, but I use his other name, derived from "Bang" his Japanese one. But I am aware that he is also called Van. ^_^ 


	4. Two More Guests! They are Bit and Leena!

I don't own Zoids! If I did, Raven would be my very own personal boyfriend. ^_^ (I own Kala!!)  
  
Kala= Me ;D  
  
Lily= my friend  
  
  
  
Announcer: Hello, and welcome to one of Planet Zi's favorite shows, LATE NITE WITH RAVEN! And, here's out host, you know him, you love him, Raven!!!  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly*  
  
Raven: Hello, hello! And welcome to our show!  
  
Announcer: Oh My God!! He's actually here for once!  
  
Raven: Yes, I am. But where's Kala? *thinks* Oh yeah! She said she was getting the new guests for out show. She said they were from the-  
  
SUD: Who are they?  
  
Raven: Just let me get to that. Since Ban wasn't here to annoy us to hell, Kala decided to invite some very special people from the future! I forget their names though…  
  
Kala: Hello, hello! I'm here with two very "special" people from the future! Their names are: Leena and Bit!  
  
Leena and Bit: *walk out on stage*  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly*  
  
Kala: Where's Lily? She was supposed to be here to help us!  
  
Raven: I don't know, and I don't care. *gets jabbed in the ribs by Kala* Ow! B****…  
  
Kala: WHAT did you just call me?  
  
Raven: A beautiful, intelligent, and wonderful…uh…  
  
Kala: *gets ready to punch him*  
  
Raven: Toy? No, no wait! Girl! No wait, even better! Woman!  
  
Kala: Thank you Raven. You're so flattering.  
  
Raven: *falls over anime style*  
  
Lily: *comes in huffing and puffing* Hi! Sorry I'm late. What do you need me for Kala?  
  
Kala (whispers): Ban isn't here, he out on a vacation with Fiona.  
  
Lily: Eww!!  
  
Kala (whispers): Sshhh! Anyway, I brought two people from the future. They have no idea wheat we do on this show, and we need someone to take Ban's place for the moment. So, we are going to bash THEM instead of Ban.  
  
Lily (whispers): That's a great idea! I'll help!  
  
Kala: Okay! Now, welcome to our show. Today we have two guests from the future, as I have said, Leena and Bit. They are two Zoid pilots and, as I have heard, lovers. Hmm? Is that right?  
  
Bit: Shutup! That's not true!  
  
Leena: Yeah!  
  
Kala: Oh, ok. Anyway, It's time for interviewing.  
  
Raven: Have you ever noticed that when this show does an interview it's not a very thorough one? I mean, it's only like two questi- *gets whacked on head with frying pan*  
  
Kala: No one asked. Anyway, Would you two consider yourselves EXCELLENT Zoid pilots? The best of the bunch?  
  
Leena: Well, I don't know about Bit, but I'm the bravest, coolest, prettiest, and the BEST one out there!  
  
Bit: What are you talking about? Brave huh? What about "The Chainsaw Man?" Ooo, scary! I'm definitely better than you, miss-fancy-pants-who-never-uses- her-sights!  
  
Kala: Ooo, how would you know that she has fancy pants? Do you STARE at them all day, hmm?  
  
Bit: I do not! I much more better things to do than that! *thinks: Like stare at her boobs*  
  
Kala: Riight… Anyway, what is the worst enemy you have ever encountered?  
  
Bit: Leena's tight-fitting shirt! I mean.. uh.. the Backdraft Group!  
  
Leena: Bit! You idiot! But, yes, the Backdraft Group.  
  
Kala: What do they do?  
  
Bit: They try to upset the world of Zoid battles by breaking the rules.  
  
Raven: What the hell?! That's IT? I could do WAY more bad stuff in a day than they could ever do in a lifetime!  
  
Kala: Whoa, look at the time! Sorry to interrupt, but it's commercial time!  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
--Start Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: "RAVEN" the novel! This book is great! Not only does it have a daily basis of what Raven does, but also some common phrases, people he hates, and people he loves!  
  
Kala: Hey! I better be the only one on that list besides himself!  
  
Commercial Guy: No, there are a few people on here.  
  
Kala: *grabs book* What?! Who the heck is this Reise girl?! Raven, you better explain this! *stomps off to get him*  
  
Commercial Guy: Uh, ok… Oh, yeah. This book also gives 1000 reasons on why to hate Ban!  
  
Fast Voice: "RAVEN" the novel! A book with things all about Raven. This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
--Start Another Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: Are you poor, without a lover? Like this poor, unloved man? *camera goes on Bit*  
  
Bit: What the heck? I'm not poor! I'm loved!  
  
Raven: Yeah, by your mother! Oh, and let's not forget Liger Zero! Ooo!  
  
Commercial Guy: Then you'll need :"Help! I'm unloved and poor!" It'll make you rich and lovable in no time! After using this product, that man was transformed into this! *goes to picture of Raven and Kala together*  
  
Raven: *winks and gives thumbs up sign*  
  
Fast Voice: "Help! I'm unloved and poor!" The best product since Idiot Formula! This product costs $10 plus $10,000 in Shipping and Handling. This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
Kala: Hi! We're back, and when we left off, Raven was saying how much eviler he is than the Backdraft Group.  
  
Raven: Yeah. And so, they only break the rules?  
  
Bit: Yeah.  
  
Leena: Basically.  
  
Raven: No killing? No destroying buildings, ruins, or forts? NO DRINKING COFFE!?!?  
  
Bit: They eat noodles instead.  
  
Raven: WHAT?!  
  
Bit: Anyway, they don't kill anyone. Just break the rules.  
  
Raven: Do they curse?  
  
Leena: No.  
  
Raven: How could they call themselves evil!?!  
  
Leena: Are you saying that YOU do these things?  
  
Kala: Yeah, he does them all the time. Whys do you think he freaked out and said "What the hell?! That's IT? I could do WAY more bad stuff in a day than they could ever do in a lifetime!"? Are you completely oblivious to that fact?!  
  
Leena and Bit: Uh… uh huh.  
  
Everyone else: *falls over anime style*  
  
Lily: Man, you guys are dumb!  
  
Bit: Well, duh! How else do you think we end up annoying everyone all the time! That's why we get bashed all the time! 'Cause we're dumb! *sings* But you gotta have friends! Do do de doooo! *sings*  
  
Leena: Bit!!! Stop!!! It's.. it's…. torture!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!  
  
Everyone else beside Bit and Leena: Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! STOP!!!  
  
SUD: *blows up*  
  
Bit: *stops* Oh My GOD! I just blew someone up!  
  
Leena: *pats Bit on the back* It's ok Bit, the wound of guilt will heal over time. Uh… lots of time…  
  
Bit: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God… THAT WAS SO AWESOME!!  
  
Leena: Bit, are you feeling ok?  
  
Bit: No!! I feel a new level of power!! Bwahahahaha!!  
  
Kala: *hits him with a frying pan* You idiot. Shutup. And don't sing. Or I'll kick you off the show and you can go live as a prostitute.  
  
Bit: Cool!  
  
Everyone else: *falls over anime style*  
  
Raven: You know, the show's almost over… I think we need a commercial so we can get money and stay on air. Unless you want me to live without a bed…  
  
Kala: Nooooooooo!!! Go to a commercial! Now! Now!!!  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
--Start Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: Hello all you women out there!! Are you having trouble attracting men? Like this ugly woman? *camera goes on Leena*  
  
Leena: What? I'm not ugly!! What do you think you're saying!?!? ^!@# you!!  
  
Commercial Guy: Then you MUST have "Ugga ugga! I'm an uggaly old hagga!!" It will make all you women out there as beautiful as this! *camera goes on… guess who, Kala*  
  
Kala: *wink*  
  
Fast Voice: "Ugga ugga! I'm an uggaly old hagga!!" It will make ugly women beautiful in no time! This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
Kala: Whoops! Too bad! We're all out of time! See ya next time on: LATE NITE WITH RAVEN! Bye!  
  
Raven: Bye…  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly*  
  
  
  
(A/N: If you're wondering what happened to Lily, she helped devise the commercials. Naughty, naughty. ^_^) 


	5. Today's Guests are WHAT!

I don't own Zoids! If I did, Raven would be my very own personal boyfriend. ^_^ (I own Kala!!)  
  
Kala= Me ;D  
  
Lily= my friend  
  
  
  
Announcer: Hello, and welcome to one of Planet Zi's favorite shows, LATE NITE WITH RAVEN! And, here's out host, you know him, you love him, Raven!!!  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly*  
  
Raven: *reading who the guests are today* WHAT?! No way!! I demand an explanation!!  
  
Kala: What? *reads who they are* What the…? Yeah! Why are you putting them on the show?! They can't even talk!!!  
  
Lily: Well I think they're cute!  
  
Kala: True, but…  
  
Ban: Ooo!!! Lemme see!! I wanna see the special guests! Aww, they're so cute!! I wanna hug them!  
  
Kala: What? You're supposed to be on vacation!  
  
Ban: Yeah, well, I got Fiona pregnant, so she told me to get out or she'd sue me for r-  
  
Kala: THAT'S nice Ban, you don't need to tell us anymore. But are you two getting back together?  
  
Ban: Yeah, in about a week.  
  
Kala: That's nice. Anyway, I bet the guest couldn't find they're way here! They can't talk to anyone to ask for directions!  
  
"The New" SUD: Shut up and stop complaining about the special guests! They got themselves a special flight and will be here almost any second!  
  
Kala (whispers): He certainly isn't as nice as the last one. Why did Bit have to blow him up?  
  
Raven (whispers): Yeah, I know, really!  
  
*a crash is heard, and a giant, white, dragon-like bird drops into the studio*  
  
Kala: What the hell?! Who is this?!  
  
TNSUD: It's Lugia, duh! On his back are our two guests! *two yellow rats drop from his back*  
  
Lily: *gasps* Oh My God! They're here!! Yay!! I wuv Pikachu and Pichu! They're so adorable!!! *squeezes the pokemon until they turn blue*  
  
Pikachu: Pi… ka…  
  
Pichu: Pii!! Pichu!!!! *choke*gasp*  
  
Lily: Oh, whoops! *drops them* Sorry.  
  
Kala: Why did we have to get the electric rodents? Why couldn't we get Barry Boswick, or something?  
  
Raven: Who's Barry Boswick?  
  
Kala: *shrugs*  
  
Ban: Ooo!! They're cute! I wonder if they know where to find papaya? Or maybe flying ones!?!? Wheeeeeeeee!!  
  
Raven: Kala, you should really be asking why we got stuck with an idiot like Ban.  
  
Kala: Hmm… good point.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
--Start Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: Is you life full of boredom? Do you, for some reason wish you could have excitement in your life? Well then, here you go! "Raven's Organoid Shop!" The ONLY place where you can buy organoids of any shape, size, attitude, gender, and color!  
  
Tiny Toddler: He ate my toys! I hate him! Waaaaaaaaaaah!!  
  
Organoid: Raaaaaaaaor! *eats child*  
  
Fast Voice: "Raven's Organoid Shop!" The place for all you organoid needs. This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
--Start Another Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: After a day of destroying, torturing, and killing, Raven likes to wash his hair. Raven Shampoo for boys! The only shampoo that makes your hair like Raven's! *camera goes on Raven taking a shower*  
  
Raven: Try it, it's great! Hey what the #$%@?! Get out!! Shadow! Get them!! *camera fuzzes*  
  
Fast Voice: Raven Shampoo for boys! It's great! This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
-------------------------------------------  
  
Kala: Ok, we're back! And we're here with two… rodents.  
  
Pichu: Pii!! Pichu Chu! Pichu, Chu, Chu! Piichu!! (What?!)  
  
Pikachu: Pika! (Yeah, we're not rodents! What do you think you're saying, huh?)  
  
Raven: What? This is so dumb! Please, get these little vermin outta here!  
  
TNSUD: If you complain one more time, they're leaving!  
  
Kala(whispers): Geez, Lily, he's dumb too.  
  
Lily(whispers): No kidding.  
  
Raven: Blah , blah, blah! I'm complaining!  
  
Kala: Me too!! Blah, blah, blah!!  
  
TNSUD: That's it!! Lugia, please have these guest escorted to their proper planet.  
  
Lugia: Luuuu!!! (Yeah, whatever. Jerk.) *flies off with Pikachu and Pichu*  
  
Ban: Nooooooooo! Waaaaaaaaaaah!! I didn't get any papaya….*cries*  
  
Kala: *hits him with a frying pan* Shutup. No one cares about you. But where are we going to get new guests? * crash is heard waaay off screen*  
  
Raven: I'll check! *runs off screen* comes back with a dude* Who are you?  
  
????: I'm Harry Champ! I'm a man destined to be king!  
  
Kala: More like an idiot destined to be king.  
  
Harry: What?! Hey! I know who you are! You're the one bashed my poor Leena!  
  
Kala: Oh, she's YOUR girl huh? Seems like Bit was having an affair with her as well.  
  
Harry: What?! Bit, making out with MY Leena?! I'll get him! *tries to run off but is caught by Kala*  
  
Kala: First Harry, why don't you have a seat? We will give you a little… uh.. interview. Yeah, that's it.  
  
Harry: Uh, ok.  
  
Ban: Ooo! Another person from the future! Can you tell me any secret stuff that comes from the future, hmm?  
  
Harry: Buzz off! You're annoying as Bit.  
  
Ban: Thank you.  
  
Harry: *gets a BIG sweat drop on his head*  
  
Kala: Anyway, Harry, what is your relationship with Bit and Leena?  
  
Harry: Leena! The sun is the east, and Leena is the west! I love Leena! And Bit, that two-timin' b******! I hate him!! He steals Leena away from me!  
  
Kala: Uh, right…eh, what do you think about the past? Do you think Raven is cool? Do you think I'M cool?  
  
Harry: Well, I think the past is ok, but… Raven kinda freaks me out.  
  
Raven: WHAT?! I dare you to say that again!  
  
Harry: And before I say that, I have to say that you, Kala, REALLY scare me!  
  
Kala: What?!!! Grrrr… *pulls out frying pan*  
  
Raven: Rrrr… *pulls out knife*  
  
Harry: Go to a commercial!! Please, for the love of Leena! Ahhhhh!!  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
--Start Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: Do miss Raven when you go to the beach? Then buy one of these Raven Towels! Towels with Raven designs on them! They come in four different ones!  
  
Kala: But they're not as good as him in a bathing suit!  
  
Fast Voice: Raven Towels! Towels come in four different designs! This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
Kala: We finally got rid of that annoying Harry!  
  
Raven: Yeah, his body is being carried away now.  
  
Kala: Aw, man, we're out of time!  
  
Raven: Ok, fine. Bye everyone!  
  
Kala: Bye!  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly* 


	6. Blood, Gore, and Girls!

I don't own Zoids! If I did, Raven would be my very own personal boyfriend. ^_^ (I own Kala!!)  
  
Kala= Me ;D  
  
Lily= my friend  
  
  
  
Announcer: Hello, and welcome to one of Planet Zi's favorite shows, LATE NITE WITH RAVEN! And, here's out host, you know him, you love him, Raven!!!  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly*  
  
Kala: Raven isn't here right now! But I am. And so is Lily. Wait, no, where'd she go?  
  
Lily: Rrrr!! Who's the dumbbell that put these two as special guests?  
  
Kala: Why? Let me see…What the?! Yeah, who is it?!  
  
TNSUD: Why, what would be me, who else?  
  
Lily: You?! Why I aught a… where's my bazooka!?!?  
  
TNSUD: We had to take it off the show. It was too violent.  
  
Lily: WHAT?!?!?! Too violent?! It's a late night show! No one's gonna give a #$%^ about the "violence"! I bet you don't even now what VIOLENCE is!!!  
  
Kala: Then why don't you show him Lily?  
  
Lily: Good idea!! Where's Raven's knife?!?  
  
Kala: It's in his dressing room. I'll get it. *runs off, and a crash is heard* *comes back with a bloodstained knife* Here ya go!  
  
Lily: Thanks… *grins evilly and runs to the booth where TNSUD is sitting*  
  
TNSUD: Wait… get away! What are you going to do with that… AHHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
Kala: Shame. Now we'll have to get another one.  
  
Raven: *comes huffing on stage* Where the @#$% is my knife!?!?!  
  
Kala: Lily has it. She's killing TNSUD right now. Hold on.  
  
Raven: Oh, ok. I kind of miss the old one…heh, too bad!  
  
Kala: Oh, by the way Raven, check who the new guests are today.  
  
Raven: Let me see. What the hell!? Why are they the special guests?  
  
Kala: Oh well, we'll have to introduce them no matter what so, do you want to do the "honors"?  
  
Raven(dully) : Yeah sure, whatever. Now introducing our special guests, Wandall and Jeff.  
  
Wandall and Jeff: *walk out on screen expecting an applause*  
  
Audience: *chirp* *chirp* *chirp* *chirp*  
  
Jeff: Why didn't they applause for us? Waaahhhh…  
  
Wandall: Where's that @#$%ing b****** Raven?! He deserves to die! He killed Rosso and Fiola!  
  
Raven: *twitches* What did.... you...*twitches* just... call... me...?  
  
Wandall: A @#$%ing b******!!!!  
  
Raven: Ok, well, that was one, rude, two, uncalled for, and three...why am I standing here giving you reasons!?!?! *grabs knife and stabs Wandall* Die, die, die!!!!  
  
Kala: Uh... I think NOW would be a good commercial time. Go. NOW!!!  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
--Start Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: Even if you don't know who Wandall and Jeff are, you can still bash them! How? By buying THIS product! *camera goes a on a frying pan*  
  
Raven: Kala's Frying Pan! With actual dents from MY head! *smiles cheesy grin and gives thumbs up sign*  
  
Fast Voice: Kala's Frying Pan! With actual dents from Raven's head! This is not Kala's actual frying pan and product may not have dents in it. This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
--Start Another Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: Raven Mugs!! Mugs with Raven head designs on them!  
  
Kala: Everyone should buy these except for me! I wake up with him in my bed everyday! Whoops. Did I just say that?  
  
Raven: Yes... *sweat drops*  
  
Fast Voice: Raven Mugs! Mugs with designs of Raven's head on them! This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
Raven: They really should edit that commercial.  
  
Lily: Don't look at me!! Kala ADDED that in!!  
  
Kala: What?! *everyone looks at her*  
  
Raven (dully): Never mind...anyway, let's interview our "special" guest, Jeff...  
  
Ban (talking to Jeff): You were ACTUALLY able to read the words!?  
  
Jeff: Yeah! It was sooo awesome!  
  
Ban: Cool!  
  
Raven: *whispers to Kala: "Watch this!"* Look, I think I hear dumbbells ringing!  
  
Ban and Jeff: Someone call us!?  
  
Raven: Yes. Jeff, LILY wants to show you something cool. Lily?  
  
Lily: Oh SURE! C'mon Jeff, let me show this really cool thing...*the two walk off stage and a scream and a few loud gunshots are heard*  
  
Kala: Ooo, that's gotta hurt!  
  
Ban: Waaahhhh!!!! You killed my friend!  
  
Lily: Oh, remorse, remorse!  
  
Ban: Rrrr... I'll get you! *tries to chase after Lily but Kala whacks him on the head with the good ol' frying pan*  
  
Kala: That'll keep you. But who are we going to interview now!?  
  
Lily: I've got it! *grabs a phone and calls up *someone** Yeah, hello? Uh, can you come over to the "Late Nite With Raven" show? Of course Raven's gonna be there! If you don't like him, that you can go screw a Liger! Wait, that's not the case? You're ok with him? Ok, good. See ya.  
  
Kala: Who was that?  
  
Lily: *whispers to Kala who the person is*  
  
Kala: WHAT?!?! Why did you invite HER over!?!? I can't STAND HER!!!  
  
Lily: Desperate times call for desperate measures.  
  
Kala: Fine... she's here anyway...  
  
Reise: Hello everyone! Hi Raven...*winks at him*  
  
Raven (sheepishly): Hi. *blushes*  
  
Kala: *sits in Raven's lap and slaps him* Raven! You still owe me a new bed! If you go back on your offer...  
  
Raven: Don't worry, I didn't forget.  
  
Reise: Hey! Raven, why is SHE here?  
  
Kala: 'Cause I've gotten in bed with him more times than you have!! Ha ha! *sticks her tongue out at Reise*  
  
Reise: How is that possible!?! I've gotten in bed with him more times that I can count!  
  
Kala: *whispers something to Reise*  
  
Reise: Oh, no, I never got there. The mattress is still pretty d-Mmmph!  
  
Kala: *has her hand clamped over Reise's mouth* Now, now, I don't want THAT revealed to the audience.  
  
Raven: Thank Zi... Hey, look at the time! We need more commercials!  
  
Kala: But... but...  
  
Raven: Quiet or no more you-know-what!  
  
Kala: Fine... *sulks*  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
--Start Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: What's the thing you haven't wanted most in your entire life!?  
  
Random Young Girls (including Fire Fox): Raven Porn!  
  
Commercial Guy: What did you say?  
  
RYG (IFF): RAVEN PORN!!!  
  
Commercial Guy: That's right! And you can buy it for only 9.99 by calling 1800-*camera fuzzes*  
  
Kala: *holding frying pan* As soon as I heard that a commercial for Raven Porn was being devised without me watching it, I got here was fast as I could. For a few reasons. One, I never saw it. Two, All the Raven Porn I know about includes me! And that's not a pretty picture. And three, Raven's all mine! NO one else can have him! NO ONE!! Bwahahahaha!!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
--Start Another Commercial--  
  
"The Third" SUD: Due to technical problems, we will not have another commercial. Instead, you will watch me sleep for the rest of the show! *falls asleep*  
  
Kala: The show is almost over and that is not going to happen! End commercial!  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
Raven: *is drooling over two beautiful women*  
  
Kala: Raven!! *hits him with the frying pan*  
  
Raven: Ouch! What?!  
  
Kala: You better be drooling over me only!!  
  
Raven: Yeah, sure, whatever.  
  
Reise: I'm still better than you!  
  
Kala: Says who?! Hey, TTSUD, who's better, me, or Reise?  
  
TTSUD: Snore....Zzzz Zzzz.....  
  
Lily: Can I kill him!? Pleeeeease?!  
  
Kala: Let appear for a little more, then you can blow him up. Whoops! I'm afraid we're all out of time! See you next time!! Bye!!  
  
Raven: *drool*  
  
Reise: Wait! We're not done arguing yet! Nooooo.... 


	7. The Raven House of Weirdness

I don't own Zoids! If I did, Raven would be my very own personal boyfriend. ^_^ (I own Kala!!)  
  
Kala= Me ;D Lily= my friend  
  
  
  
Announcer: Hello, and welcome to one of Planet Zi's favorite shows, LATE NITE WITH RAVEN! And, here's our host, you know him, you love him, Raven!!!  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly*  
  
Kala: Hello! And welcome to the show. I know I'm not Raven but this should be good enough right? Sorry if it has been long, our sponsors wanted an explanation for all the money they were getting. Yes, we have dumb sponsors. But anyway, I wanted to tell you about our new theme song. It's really cool! *Raven walks out*  
  
Raven: What's cool?  
  
Kala: The new theme song, stupid. How many times do I have to explain?  
  
Raven: You've only explained once.  
  
Kala: Oh. Well anyway, here's our new theme song!!  
  
Music Thing Above The Stage: I love you... you love me... we're a happy-  
  
Raven: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Stop the horror! *music stops* Phew. I guess they got the song wrong. Let's try again.  
  
MTATS: La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Elmo's Song!  
  
Kala: Lily! It's your favorite song!  
  
Lily: *appears out of nowhere and starts singing along* Whee!!!  
  
Raven: Stop it!!!! Where's our theme song???!!! I'm giving that guy one more chance.....  
  
Kala: Hit it!  
  
MTATS: I'm blue, da-ba-bee, da-ba-dye, da-ba-  
  
Raven: Grrrr!!! Someone get the lights on the guy who's working that! *lights go on MTATS and inside is Ban doing the electric slide*  
  
Raven: Ban!!! You idiot! What are you doing up there?  
  
Ban: *turns off music* The electric slide.  
  
Raven *gets a sweat drop* No, you imbecile, I mean, how did you get up there?  
  
Ban: ... Well, the door was open so I walked right in!  
  
Kala: And who left the door open?  
  
Ban: *shrugs*  
  
Kala: I bet I know who. Lily, get out your bazooka.  
  
Lily: All right!!! It's time for some hunting! Where's the SUD? Huh, huh, huh? Where is he? I'll kill him, yeah, yeah, yeah... kill the SUD yeah, yeah.  
  
Kala: *listens for snoring sound* It's coming from... Announcer's office!  
  
Announcer: Ahh!! Don't look at me! Look at him! Picks up TTSUD and throws him out of the office, and TTSUD lands on the ground with a thud.  
  
Thud: Thud.  
  
Lily: Prepare to die!!!  
  
TTSUD: Zzzz... yeah, yeah, yeah...  
  
Lily: *aims bazooka on TTSUD and fires* Die, die, die!!! Muahahahahaha!  
  
Kala: *grabs the body of the holey SUD and drags it off* Go to a commercial...  
  
-------------------------------------------- --Start Commercial-- Commercial Guy: Introducing, Raven Cheese Sticks! Approved by Raven's mommy!  
  
Raven's Mommy: Hello. I'm Raven's Mommy. Well, actually his adopted mommy but that's not the point. Every morning I make Raven have one of these cheese sticks. They're full of protein to help you get away from the cops. Hello, you little baby coppers. They're also packed with calcium to make you run FASTA!! Here, Raven sweetie, have one. *gives one to Raven*  
  
Raven: *takes it and eats it* *queasy face* Mmm... delicious... Blughh!  
  
Fast Voice: Raven Cheese Sticks! Approved by Raven's Mommy! This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial-- --Start Another Commercial-- Commercial Guy: Even if you're 31, birthday parties are still fun! That's why, by calling 1800-Call-Me you can have Raven come to your house! See for yourself!  
  
Guy In Cheap Raven Costume: Hi kids... I'm Raven! Hyuck, hyuck, hyuck, hyuck! Umm... what was it... oh yeah... Darkness!  
  
Shadow: Rgghg... (It's Shadow you nutcase.)  
  
Fast Voice: Call 1800-Call-Me, to get Raven to come to your house for a surprise party! $600 in Shipping and Handling. This idea was devised by Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial-- ---------------------------------------  
  
Kala Welcome back! As you see we haven't even introduced the special guest yet, so, that's what we'll do right now! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our special guest, Joe!  
  
Joe: Hi everyone! Have you seen my puppy, Blue?  
  
Audience: *points to Kala*  
  
Kala: No!!! She's mine!! All mine!! Bwahahahaha!!  
  
Joe: Fine. Let's get on with the questions, shall we?  
  
Kala: Ok. Joe, have you not wanted to work with Blue?  
  
Joe: Oh, she can be a "female dog" sometimes, but that's about it.  
  
Kala: Yes, and have you ever been jet propelled through a wall while a whole studio audience watches before?  
  
Joe: No.  
  
Kala: Well you have now! *pushes button and Joe's chair flings him through the air through the set wall* Ouch. Blue, that was a great idea.  
  
Blue: Bow-bow!  
  
Raven: Hey wait a minute! How come you get the dog! I want one too!  
  
Kala: Hey! Raven you're genius! Li-  
  
Raven: I know.  
  
Kala: Well, anyway, Lily, you get Periwinkle and Raven can have.. um... Magenta.  
  
Lily: Yay!! I got the kitty! I got the kitty! I got the kitty!!  
  
Raven: Well, at least it wasn't a shovel or a saltshaker.  
  
Magenta: Grrrr... Rrrarrg!!! *mauls Raven while Lily is dancing around snuggling Periwinkle*  
  
Raven: Ahhh!! Get this monster off me!! *rips Magenta off his head and gives her to Kala* Take this thing!!  
  
Kala: *gives it to Announcer* Here, you have her.  
  
Announcer: Aww... look at the baby puppy... Aggg!!  
  
Lily: I wish Bk(black)Gatomon could see Periwinkle.  
  
BkGatomon: *appears out of nowhere* Here I am!!  
  
Raven: Hello... hey, wait a second... I know you!!! You're the one who nearly killed my face!!  
  
BkGatomon: And I'd do it again if I had the chance! Hey wait... I do! Die!!! *attacks Raven*  
  
Kala: Whoa... I didn't know Bk, could pounce like that...  
  
Lily: While animals are mauling Raven, we'll go to this commercial!!  
  
-------------------------------------------- --Start Commercial-- Commercial Guy: Have you always wanted Raven to hang by a hook in your house? Well too bad! You can't! But you can come close to it with this picture of Raven!!  
  
Raven: *staring at the picture* Am I really that fat?  
  
Kala: No.  
  
Raven: Really?  
  
Kala: *nods*  
  
Raven: Oh. Ok.  
  
Kala: *falls anime style*  
  
Fast Voice: The Picture of Raven is available for $19.99! $900.99 Shipping and Handling. This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial-- --Start Another Commercial-- Commercial Guy: Hello all you Ban bashers!! If you immensely hate Ban, here's something for you! The Ban Basher 9000! It creates a life size living replica of Ban, that won't care if you kill him! Because he'll just go back into the Ban Basher and be recreated!  
  
Raven: Finally I get to practice my killing skills with these dummies!  
  
Fast Voice: The Ban Basher 9000 costs 7.99 plus 1.99 in Shipping and Handling. Ban replicas may already be killed and this product has a 1-day warranty. This product was made from Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your in satisfaction or your money back!  
  
--End Commercial-- ---------------------------------------  
  
Kala: Welcome back! Now that Bk is under control, I'm afraid I'm going to have to announce the horrid... announcement thingy... We are all out of time tonight!! Bye!!  
  
Raven: ... Waaahhhh!!  
  
Lily: Shut up Raven. See ya!!  
  
Raven: Did you just tell me to shut up?  
  
Lily: Yes. 


	8. Christmas Episode!

I don't own Zoids! If I did, Raven would be my very own personal boyfriend. ^_^ (I own Kala!!) I also don't own the "tap dance song" or "Kung Fu Fighting".  
  
Kala= Me ;D Lily= my friend  
  
  
  
Announcer: Hello, and welcome to one of Planet Zi's favorite shows, LATE NITE WITH RAVEN! And, here's our host, you know him, you love him, Raven!!!  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly*  
  
Kala: Hello, and Merry Christmas! Boy, it's been so long... aren't you happy it's Christmas Raven?  
  
Raven: No. I hate Christmas.  
  
Kala: Oh, c'mon Raven... don't you like all the presents, and the laughing children...?  
  
Raven: I hate children.  
  
Kala: Oh.. well that's too bad! Well, today ladies and gentlemen, it's a Christmas special so Lily and I put together a talent show that has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas!  
  
Raven: Where's the point in that?  
  
Kala: *blank look* Shutup. Anyway... Lily should be around here somewhere...  
  
Lily: Hi Kala! Hi Raven!  
  
Kala: Hey! What'd you get for Christmas?  
  
Lily: Oh, you know... the regular card from my parents... what did Raven give you?  
  
Kala: Well... um...he gave me... well... it begins with "s" and...yeah.  
  
Lily: Oh... yeah. Raven? Are you feeling okay?  
  
Raven: ...  
  
Kala: Raven? Helloo? RAVEN!? *whacks him with a frying pan*  
  
Raven: What?  
  
Kala: What's the matter?  
  
Raven: How come you didn't get ME anything?  
  
Kala: Jesus... Raven... ug... never mind. Why don't you introduce our guests that have come for the talent show?  
  
Raven: Okay. Our first guest tried to kill me and Shadow, caused massive destruction, and has too much ambition! Hiltz! *Hiltz walks in*  
  
Lily: Hi! What are you doing for the talent show?  
  
Hiltz: Well I'm going to show you how to make a perfect mass destruction plan!  
  
Kala: Well, that sounds interesting! Just don't try anything around my Raven.  
  
Hiltz: O...kay... by the way Raven... what happened with Reise?  
  
Raven: Uh.. *whistles and looks around innocently*  
  
Kala: Grrrr... I HATE that woman! She's disgusting!  
  
Raven: Uh, Kala, if I may...  
  
Kala: No, you may NOT! Now, nobody talk about her... EVER!  
  
Raven: *nods* Hiltz, sit down and wait for our next guest.  
  
Kala: Speaking of our next guest...does anyone want to introduce him?  
  
Ban: Ooo! I do! I do!  
  
Kala: Ban... you ARE the next guest...it's commercial time anyway...  
  
-------------------------------------------- --Start Commercial-- Commercial Guy: Everyone knows that Raven is best!  
  
Raven Fan Girls(including Fire Fox): *nod*  
  
Commercial Guy: Well, now you don't have to experience the rest! With this special Raven Remote, you'll be able to set your TV to the proper setting, making it only show Raven episodes!  
  
RFG(IFF): Yay! *grab remote from Commercial Guy*  
  
Commercial Guy: Hey... that's mine!  
  
Fast Voice: The Raven Remote costs $800 plus and extra 3 payments of $99.99 for Shipping and Handling. This product was designed by Raven and Co. Corp. and will guaruntee your insatisfaction or your money back. --End Commercial-- --Start Another Commercial- Commercial Guy: Sure, Raven's great. *shows picture of Raven* And Vegeta's cool. *shows picture of Vegeta* But what you need is Hiltz! *shows picture of Hiltz*  
  
Hiltz: I have a ten-year warranty and I'm bound to you for that time! *cheesy smile*  
  
Raven*extremely dull*: He's better than me.  
  
Kala: Don't say that! *whacks Commercial Guy* What kind of depressing business are you running here? *chases after him with frying pan*  
  
Fast Voice: Hiltz cannot be sold due to the recent no-slavery law. This commercial is completely pointless. This idea was devised by Raven and Co. Corp and will guaruntee your insatisfaction or your money back.  
  
--End Commercial-- ---------------------------------------  
  
Kala: How exciting. Yes, Ban was our next guest and he's going to a do a tap dance number... but anyway! Our final guest is a girl from around the galaxy. She majors in kung fu and she's going to show us some today! Presenting... Laura Laroo!  
  
Laura: Thank you, thank you.  
  
Raven : *laughs* Her? She looks like a sissy!  
  
Laura: That's SENSAI to you! *kicks Raven in the you-know-what*  
  
Kala: Careful Raven, she's dangerous!  
  
Raven: I found that out... *falls over*  
  
Kala: *picks him up and sits him down in chair* Poor baby...  
  
Laura: I don't understand how you can stand to be near that man for more that two minutes.  
  
Kala: He's my boyfriend. *sticks tongue out at Laura*  
  
Lily: Uh... anyway! Hiltz... maybe you can get started!  
  
Hiltz: But of course. *takes out a huge blue print* First you have to make a plan. Then, you have to carry out the plan, making sure of all the risks. Then you have look back on the plan, like a math problem... checking your mistakes...*goes on for an hour about an interesting way to take over a small city and destroy a large one* And that's how you do mass destruction. I made this up in two minutes. *smiles and sits down*  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly*  
  
Kala: Thank you very much Hiltz! Now, it's time for Ban. Ban, why don't you get up here?  
  
Ban: Okay! *comes out in a tuxedo and a top hat along with a tap dance stick* I'm doing a tap dance routine and then I'm going to sing.  
  
Raven: Oh, great...  
  
Ban: Go magic feet! ?*his feet start to move and he does an impressive tap dance routine, and then music comes on* Can you say HEY?  
  
Audience: *chirp*chirp*  
  
Ban: Can you say HO?  
  
Audience *chirp*chirp*  
  
Ban: Just checking... I'll finish the song now... And I want all the fish sticks in the wooorrld! Just for me! I eat them while watching TV...Yeah! *music ends*  
  
Kala: * is sleeping on Raven's lap* Huh... what? It's over? Thank you Ban! It was... uh.. enjoyable...?  
  
Raven: *is still awake* Man... where did you learn how to do that?  
  
Ban: Huh?  
  
Raven: I mean... uh... that was so boring!  
  
Kala: Niice. It's commercial time anyway, so let's go to a commercial and then we'll be back with our last guest!  
  
-------------------------------------------- --Start Commercial-- Commercial Guy: The holidays are here! Still don't have that perfect gift? Well, head on down to Strawbridges with your 20% off coupon and buy any Raven-related item for 20% off!  
  
Raven: I love my Raven doll! *hugs doll*  
  
Scrooge: 20% off coupons? Bah, Humbug!  
  
Fast Voice: All Raven related items are marked-up so your coupon will not do anything. This idea was devised by Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your insatisfaction or your money back. --End Commercial-- --Start Another Commercial-- Commercial Guy: Everyone one knows Kala loves Raven!  
  
Fire Fox: I do too!  
  
Commercial Guy: Well, now you can with this Raven-o-gram! The Raven-o-gram is a device that creates a solid hologram of Raven! Great for parties!  
  
Fire Fox: *hugs the Raven hologram*  
  
Fast Voice: Raven-o-gram cost $3000 plus $8.46 Shipping and Handling. The product was made by Raven and Co. Corp and will guaruntee your insatisfaction or your money back.  
  
--End Commercial-- ---------------------------------------  
  
Raven: We're back! Now we're going to have Laura sing the song "Kung Fu Fighting" and do kung fu to it.  
  
Laura: *comes out in a slinky green dress*  
  
Raven: Whooo hoo! *Kala hits him with the frying pan* Ow!  
  
Laura: *gets into a kung fu stance and music starts* Hi-ya! *whips off dress and a kung fu uniform is underneath* Everybody likes kung fu fighting! Ya! *knocks over set piece* Those feet as fast as lightning! Ha! *kicks Raven in the head* Everything's a little bit frightening! Ho! *kicks over table* Everybody likes kung fu fighting! sings song and keeps knocking over random set pieces and kicking Raven in the head until music ends* Thank you.  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly*  
  
Kala: Thank you! That was very nice! Right Raven? Uh... Raven?  
  
Raven: Uhhhgg...*wipes blood off nose* I'm okay...  
  
Kala: Good! Now... I'm sorry, but there was originally only going to be one guest today, and that's Hiltz. So everyone else can leave.  
  
Ban: Even me?  
  
Kala: Yes Ban, I'm afraid so.  
  
Ban: Aww....*leaves*  
  
Hiltz: *sits down in Ban's spot* Now... are you going to interview me or something?  
  
Raven: Yes.  
  
Hiltz: Okay...  
  
Kala: Hiltz, what do you think of your job? You know, having to take over the world and all?  
  
Raven: Well, I think he should butt out and let ME do it!  
  
Kala: I didn't ask you.  
  
Hiltz: I actually enjoy it. The Death Stinger failed... but I had to come here before my final attempt and tell everyone about it. And why did you say I have too much ambition? I don't!  
  
Raven: Yes you do! You ALWAYS want to take over things, and destroy stuff!  
  
Hiltz: So do you!  
  
Raven: True.. but I'm not as bad as you!  
  
Hiltz: Yeah, I guess you're right... *sigh*  
  
Kala: Sorry, Hiltz, but our people are saying we're all out of time. See ya everyone! Merry Christmas! *kicks Raven*  
  
Raven: Ow! Merry Christmas...  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly*  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's note: Sorry that took me so long, I was busy with other stuff. 


	9. Giant Foxes, Catfights, What More Do You...

I don't own Zoids! If I did, Raven would be my very own personal boyfriend. ^_^ (I own Kala!!) I also don't own Fire Fox. I think she owns herself or something.  
  
Kala= Me ;D Lily= my friend  
  
  
  
Announcer: Hello, and welcome to one of Planet Zi's favorite shows, LATE NITE WITH RAVEN! And, here's our host, you know him, you love him, Raven!!!  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly*  
  
Raven: It's been long... too long...  
  
Kala: Well, Raven, it was YOUR idea to stop the show for a while so we could have s-  
  
Raven: Quiet! THAT'S not important... plus it's also very personal. What IS important is our guest today.  
  
Kala: That might be... who?  
  
Raven: It MIGHT be Barry Boswick. But it's not. Our guest today is none other than the infamous Fire Fox!  
  
Kala: ... Infamous?  
  
Lily: *appears out of nowhere* Well, they always use that word to make someone look good.  
  
Kala: But... how do you know she's infamous?  
  
Raven: She steals chicken, stole Shadow... and other various things involving money, chicken, and me.  
  
Kala: Oh... then why is she our guest?  
  
Raven: BECAUSE WE WANTED HER TO BE!  
  
Kala: What do you mean, we?  
  
Lily: ... You mean you don't remember when you agreed last night? Raven said you did.  
  
Kala: *looks over at Raven* So THAT'S why my milk tasted like beer... Raven, did you spike my milk?  
  
Raven: Where would you get a stupid idea like that?  
  
Kala: ... Anyways. Let's bring her out. Fire Fox!  
  
*a giant fox made of fire jumps down onto stage*  
  
Raven: We needed your HUMAN form...  
  
*the fox looks at Raven and immediately changes into a human girl*  
  
Fire Fox: Ohmygosh! Raven! Hi! *glomps Raven*  
  
Raven: Could you get off of me... please?  
  
Kala: *looks angry* Yes. PLEASE DO.  
  
Fire Fox: Sorry... Anyways, I'm so glad to be here as your guest... Raven, are you SURE that Kala won't kill me?  
  
Raven: Yeah, unless she likes being without something...  
  
Kala: Raven! You little... fine. I won't kill her... *crosses arms*  
  
Lily: Well... anyways... on that happy note! Here's a commercial!  
  
Kala: Stop taking my lines!  
  
Lily: Nah!  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
--Start Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: Fire Fox knows chicken. So why not buy some of her homemade chicken! Grown with all the best steroids to ensure that you have a great meal!  
  
Fire Fox: Help me... they're holding me hostage so I can do this commercial and give them more money...  
  
Raven: Do it. Or I'll kill Fetch.  
  
Fire Fox: Not Fetch! Fine. *dully* My chickens are the best. Please buy them. HELP ME!!  
  
Fast Voice: Chickens are not actually homemade. This product was designed by Raven and Co. Corp. and will guaruntee your insatisfaction or your money back.  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
--Start Another Commercial-  
  
Commercial Guy: The Raven CD! With 40 songs all about Raven!  
  
Really Ugly Guy With A Wart On His Nose: *dully* Raven... Raven... he's the best. He can even help you take a test.  
  
Commercial Guy: And that's just ONE great song included on this one CD!  
  
Fast Voice: The Raven CD! This product costs $400 plus $4.00 Shipping and Handling. This product may cause momentary deafness. This product was designed by Raven and Co. Corp. and will guaruntee your insatisfaction or your money back.  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
Raven: Who the hell recorded that CD?  
  
Kala: It was Prozen's uncle or something.  
  
Raven: I didn't even know Prozen HAD an uncle...  
  
Kala: Yes, well, anywho. Fire Fox is with us today, and she is a rather dedicated Raven fan, is that right?  
  
Fire Fox: Darn right I am! Shadow's still at my house being held as a hostage.  
  
Raven: I want him back!  
  
Fire Fox: You'll never get him unless you go over there yourself!  
  
Raven: ... You got coffee?  
  
Fire Fox: Anything that your dark, evil heart desires.  
  
Raven: Cool. I'm going over later.  
  
Kala: *falls over anime style* Okay. can we get on with the interviewing now?  
  
Fire Fox: And I got chicken over there too.  
  
Kala: I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PRECIOUS CHICKEN!!  
  
Fire Fox: Don't insult the chicken!!  
  
Kala: I can insult whatever I damn well want to!  
  
Fire Fox: Bring it on!  
  
Kala: Oh, yeah!? *the two start fighting*  
  
Raven: Woo! Catfight! Now all we need is bikinis...  
  
*suddenly a crash is heard as Fire Fox changes into the giant fox made of fire*  
  
Fire Fox: I SAID, DON'T INSULT THE CHICKEN!!!  
  
Kala: *scared* Yes ma'am.  
  
Fire Fox: *changes back into her human form* Good. Now, you people were saying something about interviewing?  
  
Lily: I'll take Kala's place... she needs a time out.  
  
Kala: But... but...  
  
Lily: NOW, KALA!!  
  
Kala: Fine. *walks off into a corner*  
  
Lily: *claps* Good. Now, we're missing one more thing... where is it?  
  
Ban: Missing me?  
  
Lily: No, not you! But... fine... whatever. Now, Fire Fox, what is your opinion of Raven?  
  
Fire Fox: Did someone hit you on the head with a rock?!  
  
Lily: No, I'm reading this question cards.  
  
Fire Fox: Oh. Hey, look! Now it says, "Introduce Commercial"!  
  
Lily: Okay, I will. Commercial time!  
  
Kala: My line... *bangs her head against the wall* --------------------------------------------  
  
--Start Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: Gimme an R!  
  
Kala: R!  
  
Commercial Guy: I don't feel like going through the whole word, but if I did, what would it spell?  
  
Fire Fox: Raven!  
  
Commercial Guy: What's that?  
  
Lily: Raven!  
  
Commercial Guy: What's that?  
  
Kala: RAVEN!  
  
Commercial Guy: Huh?  
  
Raven : My NAME, GODAMMIT!  
  
Commercial Guy: Oh. Well, anyway, if you want to learn how to do random cheers about Raven, buy this video! The Raven Cheer Video!!  
  
Fast Voice: The Raven Cheer Video costs $39.99 Shipping and Handling. There is no real price. This product was designed by Raven and Co. Corp. and will guaruntee your insatisfaction or your money back.  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
--Start Another Commercial--  
  
Commercial Guy: Do you hate Ban? Really hate him? Do you hate him so bad you want to bash his head until he cries for his dead mommy? Well, we don't care! What we do care about is your money! If you buy Ban right now, you can send him back to us and we'll pay you absolutely nothing!  
  
Lily: This commercial is completely pointless, you know.  
  
Raven: SHUT UP!  
  
Fast Voice: Ban costs 4 million dollars plus $5.00 Shipping and Handling. This commercial is so dumb, I don't even know why we're advertising it. This idea was devised by Raven and Co. Corp. and will guarantee your insatisfaction or your money back.  
  
--End Commercial--  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
Kala: My time out is over! And so is our time together! Sorry we didn't get to interview you Fire Fox.  
  
Fire Fox: That's okay. I'll tell you all about me then. I'm in love with Raven, I like chicken, money, and Shadow. I hate Reise... *goes on about herself since the authoress know nothing about her otherwise*  
  
Kala: Darn it! My plan... it has failed...  
  
Fire Fox: You want to come with me and Raven for coffee at my house?  
  
Kala: Sure. That's all for today folks! Thank you!  
  
Lily: Wait for me!  
  
Audience: Woot! Yeah! Woohoo!!! *claps wildly*  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's Note: Sorry Fire Fox, if I made you seem stupid, dumb, or something that you didn't like in anyway. 


	10. Note Thinger

I'd like to take this time to make a little note/disclaimer/thinger. I got my first complaints about this story, and that is that is was offensive to homosexual people in the second chapter. I realize this and would like to say to all that thought it was offensive as well, that it was meant purely for humour and I didn't realize it offensive until it was brought to my attention.  
  
I really do not feel that way about ANY of the rather semi-personal to personal issues discussed in this story. I have nothing against homosexual people, or overweight people, or etc. I was trying to make the story funny and didn't realize that some of it might have harmed some of the readers specifically.  
  
So, basically, what I'm trying to say is, I don't care if a person is a certain color, gender, homosexual/heterosexual, what weight they are, or what their IQ is etc. I just want to make people laugh, so PLEASE don't take ANY of it personally.  
  
Now, on a happier note, I'm NOT, repeat, NOT stopping Late Nite With Raven. It will still continue; I just want you peeps to know this information. I'm sorry to say there is no new installment as of today, but keep a lookout. *smiles*  
  
Thank you, and have a great day! ^^ ((P.S. Say thanks to SaZ for speaking out against me! lol)) 


End file.
