


Quantum Quirk

by CaptHayfever



Category: Quantum Leap
Genre: Humor, Sci-Fi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2003-02-07
Updated: 2003-02-07
Packaged: 2013-05-12 05:43:59
Rating: K
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,990
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1224422/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/331320/CaptHayfever
Summary: What if...the Project was OFFICIALLY going to leap Sam, but then, something happened?......





	1. Legal Blather

"Quantum Quirk" Legal Blather. Yippee.  
  
DISCLAIMER:  
  
Dr. Sam Beckett, Gooshy, Ziggy, Dr. Verbena Beaks, Admiral Al Calavicci, Project Quantum Leap, and "Quantum Leap" are all property of Bellisarius Productions and were created by Donald P. Bellisario.  
  
Scott Bakula is a real guy whose name I used as a humorous subtle reference. Dallas and Stallion's Gate are real places.  
  
William Miller, Steven Bouas, the crazy homeless guy, the town of Villeville, Ohio, and all locations within that town are property of ME, created by ME specifically for this story.  
  
C.J. Mullagan, Al Hayfever, Skitz O. Frenic, Nat Rator, and the pseudonym CaptHayfever are stock characters created and owned by ME.  
  
This story is a semi-original work of fan-fiction written by me, and based on the TV show "Quantum Leap". Feel free to link to it through this page as much as you want, but do NOT copy any part of this story without either crediting CaptHayfever or obtaining direct permission from me, via capthayfever@yahoo.com. No, Al Hayfever is not my real name. It's rather stupid to put one's real name on a publicly accessible web site other than one's own.  
  
This work is a presentation of Grand High Productions, in association with FanFiction.net. Copyright © Al Hayfever, Peaceical Publications. All Right Reserved, except as already detailed.  
  
Please read, review, & link.  
  
NOTE TO LEAPERS: I am fully aware that this story does not perfectly coincide with the QL canon or back-story as outlined by Bellisario, but I had to make alterations in order to keep the length under control, since this was originally a school assignment. Deal with it. I wasn't happy either, but it's still a good story.  
  
SAGA CELL: Actually, I can't say the Saga Cell, because....well, I'll just let you read & find out.  
  
(Proceed to next chapter.) 


	2. Oh, boy!

Project Quantum Leap, Stallion's Gate, New Mexico--August 14, 2002  
  
Today was the big day. After months of grueling, almost constant work, Dr. Sam Beckett's String Theory of Time Travel was about to be put to the test. Out of everyone in the sterilized, state-of-the-art laboratory, no one was more exhilarated than seventeen-year-old, nerdy, yet cool, C.J. Mullagan. He had the honor of being the youngest technician on the project, on the merit of his amazing intellect and the fact that he once met Sam Becket at a convention.  
  
Everyone was preparing for the final experiment, the one that would prove whether or not it was possible to quantum leap. The lucky bum set up to be the first leaper was none other than Dr. Beckett himself. Sam had not only created the theory the entire project was based on, but he also started the project itself, hand-picked most of the crew, and created Ziggy, the supercomputer with an ego the size of Montana, which stored information from the last 50 years to aid Sam on his quest to improve the world by changing history. Now, the final checks were in progress.  
  
"Checking archive accessibility," said Gooshy, the lead technician/scientist. "Ziggy, can you handle everything we've put in there?"  
  
"Not a problem, Dr. Gooshy," replied Ziggy. "All files are easily obtainable; my logic centers are as functional as when they were first programmed, and there's even a few mega-gigabytes to spare."  
  
"A simple 'yes' would have sufficed, Ziggy. Are you ready in the accelerator, Dr. Becket?"  
  
"Almost, Gooshy," answered Sam. "C.J. is checking over the last few connections, then we're good to go. Is Al in the imaging chamber yet?"  
  
"Yes, sir," replied Gooshy.  
  
"Everything is ready in here," said C.J. Then he sneezed.  
  
"Are you alright, C.J.?" asked Sam.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. Sometimes I just randomly sneeze. It's no big deal."  
  
"Okay, then, just stand clear. Gooshy? We're ready to leap in here," said Sam.  
  
"Alright, Dr. Becket. Good luck," said Gooshy. "Ziggy, are you ready for this?"  
  
"Ready as Spongebob Squarepants," said Ziggy.  
  
"AHHH-CHOOOOOO!!!" C.J. sneezed like a gunshot. He lost his balance and fell into Sam, knocking him off the platform.  
  
"Accelerating...NOW!" shouted Gooshy, who had not seen what had just happened.  
  
"No, Gooshy!" screamed Sam, but it was too late.  
  
C.J. became a glowing blue Smurf. Rays of blue light shot out from his body. There was a sudden flash, and then,...he was gone!  
  
Sam ran from the accelerator into the control room. "Gooshy, C.J. was on the platform when you accelerated, not me!"  
  
Just then, a Marine guard ran in from a different hallway in the complex.  
  
"Some kid just appeared in the waiting room!" he shouted.  
  
"Get Al out of the imaging chamber. He's not going to be much help in there now," Sam ordered. "Does anyone know if C.J. has any close friends we can trust?"  
  
"He's mentioned a couple before, Dr. Becket," said Ziggy. "One is an Air Force pilot currently stationed in Albuquerque, Captain Alexander Hayfever."  
  
"That's good, send for Capt. Hayfever," said Sam. "At least now we'll have an observer. Once he arrives, start to search as far as April 12, 1986 for C.J."  
  
"Dr. Becket, I've realized something," mentioned Gooshy. "If C.J. Mullagan vanished from the accelerator and someone else appeared in the waiting room, then he didn't just disappear, he leaped."  
  
"I realize that too, Gooshy. So?"  
  
"So that means your theory is right. Project Quantum Leap is a success!"  
  
"Oh, boy."  
  
(Proceed to next chapter.) 


	3. A Guy Named Steven

4124 Rebekah Ave., Villeville, Ohio--Saturday, May 3, 1986 7:00 am  
  
"Ooof," C.J. woke with a jerk. "Was that just a dream?" He climbed out of an odd-looking bed and turned towards the bathroom,--"Ow!"--and ran into an unfamiliar wall. He checked for a door, but the wall stubbornly remained solid.  
  
"Hey, this isn't my house! Where on earth am I?" He found the home's facilities to splash his face, but he saw the mirror first.  
  
"What the-?!" Staring back at him was a 13-year-old, pale, acne- ridden, big-nosed face much unlike his own smooth, normal-nosed, pasty white-boy face. Just then, C.J. heard an automatic door slide open; he turned around and saw someone stepping through a rectangle of light. The unknown person pressed a button on the handheld device he carried and the brilliant door closed. It was Al Hayfever.  
  
"Congrats, Ceej, you just became the first time traveler ever! Throw a party when you get home," said Al. C.J. realized he'd just leaped, but, wait a second...  
  
"AL?! What are you doing here? I thought Admiral Calavicci was the observer."  
  
"Well, he was, but they decided to go with a different Al. Specifically, they said my neurons would lock onto yours better."  
  
"What?"  
  
"That's what I said. Basically, it means I would make a better mental link with you, since we're buddies. Anyway, now we have to figure out how to get you back to the future."  
  
"Why doesn't Ziggy just run the retrieval program?" asked C.J.  
  
"Well, um, he kinda did. It, um, kinda doesn't work," came the hesitant reply.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"But Ziggy is 90% sure what you need to do to leap. It's May 3, 1986. Today, at 10:03 am, a local teen is murdered, and the perp is never found. You have about 3 hours to stop the killer."  
  
"You realize that a murderer probably won't hesitate to kill me too, right?"  
  
"Well, that's why you need to be careful."  
  
"Thanks a load, Hayfever," C.J. shot back. "Who'd I bump out anyway?"  
  
"Well, the kid in the waiting room says he's Scott Bakula from Dallas, but we know this is Villeville, Ohio, so I don't know what's up with the name." Al pressed a couple buttons. "Okay, Ziggy has an analysis from Dr. Beaks, the shrink. Lessee, here...ah, the kid's real name is Steven Bouas, and he's a compulsive li." Al hit the hand link, "-ar. A compulsive liar. Well, that explains a lot."  
  
"Well, if I call the police, they should be able to protect the target." C.J. picked the phone and dialed 911. "I mean, hey, it's their job--Hello?...Hi, I need the police department... Thank you.--Al, what's the victim's name?"  
  
"It's William Miller," answered Al.  
  
"Thanks, man. Hello, Villeville Police? This is Steven Bouas; I'd like to ask that you send someone to protect William Miller. I have reason to believe he will be murdered at 10:00 this morn-...Oh. yeah?...Well, same to you, buddy!" C.J. slammed down the receiver. "This kid must be Ohio's most famous fibber or something."  
  
"Well, no one ever said this would be easy." said Al.  
  
"Yippee, skippy. Come on, we've got to go stop a cold-blooded killer. Isn't my life just so happy?"  
  
"Hey, you're the one who got a GameCube for Christmas, so I wouldn't complain too much."  
  
"Oh, boy."  
  
(Proceed to next chapter.) 


	4. Searching for William Miller

Main Street, Villeville, Ohio--Saturday, May 3, 1986 8:30 am  
  
"Well, now what?" C.J. complained. "We can't find William Miller anywhere."  
  
"Oh, stop complaining," said Al. "It's not like you have anything else to do."  
  
"You know, if you have any ideas, they would be greatly appreciated right about now."  
  
"Hey, Fibber McGee!" shouted a passer-by. "Do you have an imaginary friend now, too?"  
  
"What's he talking about, Al?" asked C.J.  
  
"Um, let's move out of sight first." suggested Al. The two stepped into an lonely alley.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Well, you see, Ceej," Al explained, "right now, I'm a mental hologram to you, specifically tuned to your brain, and all of this is a hologram to me. I'm actually in the imaging chamber, in 2002. Nobody else in 1986 can see or hear me."  
  
"Don't you think that's a pretty stinkin' important fact to tell me before I make myself look like a fool in public?"  
  
Al looked at his hand link. "Whoa, it's worse than that. Steven's folks are thinking about taking him to see a psycho-ologist about his lying. If they get reports that he's got an imaginary friend, well, uh, you're gonna be studying ink blots for quite a while. I'm thinking it would be a good idea to be a wee bit more subtle when we talk from here on out."  
  
"Okay, then, that problem's solved," noted C.J. "So how exactly do we find William?"  
  
"Hey, you know what? I just remembered Ziggy can lock in on individuals and give me the appropriate visual. Hey, Gooshy! Center me on William!" Al punched a few more buttons and disappeared.  
  
"That's great, 'cause it's so easy for me to hear you when YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR ME, HAYFEVER!!!" Just then, Al reappeared. "Oh."  
  
"I'm sorry, were you saying something? Come on, I found him. He's tied up at the high school. Just follow me."  
  
"On a Saturday?" asked C.J. as they ran off. "Oh, boy."  
  
(Proceed to next chapter.) 


	5. Disappointing Fight Sequence

Louis High School, Villeville, Ohio--Saturday, May 3, 1986 9:45 am  
  
"Man, this place has some severe traffic for such a small town on Saturday," moaned C.J.  
  
"It also doesn't help that you're the slowest kid on the face of the planet." taunted Al. "Besides, I don't need to worry about the cars. They go right through me. Ha, ha."  
  
They ran inside. "William?" called C.J. as he searched the dimly lit halls. "Are you here?"  
  
A whisper came from a nearby door. "Steven, shhh!" It was William!  
  
"What are you doing here?" whispered C.J.  
  
"I was passing by the school when I saw a weird-looking guy come in," explained William, "so I followed him. He caught me and tied me to this desk. I think he's got a gun."  
  
"He's right, C.J. The coroner's report said William died from a .45 Magnum through the head," said Al. "Apparently, the creep didn't want anyone knowing he broke in."  
  
Just then, footsteps began coming towards the room. Al looked outside the classroom.  
  
"Um, C.J., guess who's coming to dinner?" he warned.  
  
"Oh, no, he's coming back," mumbled William. "Steven, help me!"  
  
"I will, Will," said C.J. "Don't worry."  
  
"Ceej, it's 10:00!" shouted Al. "You have 3 minutes to save William and about 30 seconds to hide your hyde!"  
  
Then, C.J. had an idea. First, he grabbed a half-full trash can and balanced it ever so carefully atop the classroom door. Next, he grabbed a yardstick to use as a fighting stick. After that, he told William not to say anything that would tell the stranger anyone else was there, such as, "Someone else is here." Finally, as the most important part of the plan, C.J. stashed himself behind the door to avoid detection.  
  
"Here he comes; I hope this works," Al said. "Because if it doesn't, you'll both be breathing through the backs of your heads in 2 minutes."  
  
"Thanks for being so supportive, Al," whispered C.J.  
  
"Who are you talking to?" asked William.  
  
"My hologram from the future, now shh!--Don't worry, Al, I'm a compulsive liar, remember?"  
  
The homicidal hobo entered the room. As he pushed open the door, the trash can fell on his head. C.J. jumped out and began whacking the intruder repeatedly, both smacking and poking him with the stick. Eventually, the bumbling bum fell over, unconscious. C.J. and William ran from the building, leaving the attacker inside.  
  
"William, you better call the cops and tell them what happened. I don't really think they're going to believe me," said C.J.  
  
"Alright, C.J.," said Al, "obviously William's safe, you're safe, and that weird guy is arrested for trespassing, breaking and entering, assault, and kidnapping. Good job."  
  
"Hey, Steve," asked William, "how did you know I was here anyway?"  
  
"Oh, boy," said Al.  
  
C.J. choked for a second. "Um, well,--" C.J.'s entire body glowed blue. Rays of blue light shot out from him. There was a sudden FLASH, and then...  
  
(Proceed to next chapter.) 


	6. Even more sarcasm from Ziggy

Project Quantum Leap, Stallion's Gate, New Mexico--August 14, 2002  
  
When the light subsided, C.J. opened his eyes and looked around in amazement at the friendly, futuristic, scientifically maxed-out chamber around him and smiled with delight.  
  
"I'm home!" he shouted, running from the accelerator into the control room. "Hey, everybody! I'm back! It's me! I'm home!"  
  
"Yeah, we get the basic idea; you're home," said Al, coming out of the imaging chamber. "Quit screaming, already, man!" Al and C.J. hugged.  
  
"My sensors indicate that Master Mullagan has returned from his leap," said Ziggy calmly.  
  
"You're the most complex computer ever designed, and it took you that long to pick up on something so obvious?" asked Sam Becket.  
  
"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, Dr. Becket."  
  
"Um, C.J., Capt. Hayfever?" interrupted Gooshy. "There's a phone call for you...from the White House."  
  
C.J. and Al looked at each other and said in unison:  
  
"Oh, boy."  
  
(Proceed to credits.) 


	7. Cast Credits Kinda

THE CREDITS (well, sorta):  
  
Scott Bakula as Sam Beckett  
  
Dennis Wolfberg* as Gooshy  
  
Ziggy as Herself  
  
Al Hayfever as Himself  
  
C.J. Mullagan as Himself and Steven Bouas  
  
William Miller as Himself  
  
Homeless, homicidal psychopath as Himself  
  
Skitz O. Frenic as Passerby  
  
and Nat Rator as Himself  
  
SPECIAL THANKS TO:  
  
Don Bellisario & Bellisarius Productions, for not suing me.  
  
My English teacher, Ms. Henricks, for giving me an A on this.  
  
LEGAL STUFF AGAIN:  
  
Copyright © Al Hayfever, Peaceical Publications. A Grand High Production, in association with FanFiction.net. All Rights Reserved, except as detailed in disclaimer.  
  
Thanks for reading! Review at will! Link to first page at will!  
  
*IN MEMORY OF:  
  
Dennis Wolfberg, aka Gooshy, 1946-1994. Rest in peace, for God cares not how your breath smells. 


End file.
