


Where the Wind Blows

by shaunalease1



Category: Queer as Folk
Genre: Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-12-15
Updated: 2013-08-28
Packaged: 2015-04-13 22:23:44
Rating: M
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,580
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7639336/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/610556/shaunalease1
Summary: Justin moves to New York after 513 with many doubts. Brian can't stay away, of course he can't.





	1. Airport Revelations

Where the Wind Blows

Chapter 1: Airport Revelations

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I am back after a long hiatus. School had been the death of me. I was inspired to write this story after recently becoming obsessed with QAF again, after I thought I wasn't anymore. My favorite couple wormed their way into my subconscious again and I am once again obsessed. Enjoy. I will probably post more than just this one chapter today. While I do not know if I am going to continue my other stories on here, due to how long it has been, I will take a look at them and see which ones, if any, I would like to continue.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters nor do I presume to do so. I am just a fan writing on FAN fiction dot net.

There are things that should be left unsaid, and those that should be advertised to the world. You would think, with advertising being Brian's forte in the world, that he'd understand that concept better than anyone. Unfortunately, he didn't. There I was, sitting at the airport after he actually let me leave. I couldn't help but feel the pang of that statement. It was almost as if we threw out our five year relationship like it was less. When, really, it meant the most to me than anything in my life. I almost loved Brian more than I loved my art. That 'almost' was what Brian used to push me away. He didn't really want to get married, that was just what I wanted. He knew it and I knew it regardless of how many times he tried to convince me otherwise. The proposal at Britin was the most romantic thing I ever could have imagined Brian doing, because he definitely wasn't romantic. He hated romance, the triviality of it, basically just everything about it, he despised.

That one day, though, I almost believed it. I didn't want to sacrifice everything for him, even though I said I did. Even I lied to him, I realized. A relationship that is built on lies to begin with can't succeed. I remember Brian saying so a while back. I would follow him wherever the wind blew and he knew that. I think it scared him. Although, he would never admit to feeling any emotion regardless to scared, not even when he had cancer, even though I knew he was frightened.

That was a hard time for the both of us, mostly him. He really thought I thought he was imperfect and that I deserved someone other than him. It was true, I probably did deserve more than him, but I didn't care. I wanted him, regardless on if he was going to offer me monogamy or not. I left him recently because I thought that, but the truth was, I couldn't keep going without him, no matter what our relationship would entail, monogamy or no monogamy. Yet, here I was, about to go on a plane to start my new life without Brian. A life I never thought I wanted and a part of me still didn't think I wanted it.

I didn't think that would be the last I'd see of Brian, in fact, I counted on it not being the last. Our love was a once in a lifetime kind of love, even a non-romantic like Brian could realize that. He wouldn't be able to live long without me, we always came back to each other one way or the other because we were both privy to that fact. Whether Brian is actually with me or not, I know that the wind will keep blowing and my sunshine smile will keep shining brightly, just like the real sun in the sky. Brian was always with me in my heart, and distance couldn't really keep us away from each other, after all, Brian got frequent flyer miles. I bet he would show up at one of my art shows in New York, and I wasn't wrong.


	2. Duvet Revelations

Where the Wind Blows

Chapter 2: Duvet Revelations

DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters nor do I claim to do so.

Whether or not I would ever see his face again, other than in my dreams, was impossible to forecast. I remembered saying something like to Justin once, about how he could see me in his dreams but not again in real life. I was such an asshole, I realized, now looking back on it all. He looked so beautiful that first night standing under the headlight lamppost, so enticing and marvelous. Of course, he looked ready to be ravished and fucked but he talked of Special K cereal, video games, and his allergies to all forms of medication, yes, even Tylenol. His clothes were even ridiculously plain. It was obvious how old he was. You know how someone wears their clothes and others their clothes wore them? That was definitely not him. He was nothing like what his clothes presented him as. He was the most glorious man I had ever met in my life, or ever would.

That was all gone now, and I pushed him away. Of course, I did. I pushed away everything good in my life because I believed I didn't particularly deserve them. Frankly, I didn't. I was too much involved in my own ego to notice what was going on underneath my very nose. Apparently my drug induced state the first night we fucked wasn't enough of a shield to stop myself from saying those three words I had only spoken to Mikey. I could admit that I did say those words to Justin the first night we met. They must have meant something. I wasn't in love with him, but I soon would be. I never let another heart touch mine, as Debbie once told me. She was always so wise and knew me at times better than I did. After all, I was always at her house when I was a kid to avoid going home and getting abused by those who were called to love me and cherish me. They, of course, didn't. That was where my fucked up notion of how 'love' didn't exist came into the world.

I have seen love since then, but I refused to consider it to be involved in realism in any which way. I saw it when I held my son for the first time, who Justin named. Justin was as much a father to Gus as I was, and even though Gus was moving to Canada, it would be both of us who lost Justin. That pained me more than I could say. I wanted Gus to know Justin; I wanted to co-parent him with Justin. That was when I knew I was in a shit load of trouble. Those breeder thoughts popped into my head and I couldn't get them out. Just like I couldn't get him out of my head. Of course, I pushed him away in the end. I always did. I finally offered him monogamy and I truly believed I would never pull away, again. I was wrong.

Justin was probably thinking I was just trying to find an excuse to get out of what I offered him, a life. But I wasn't. I wanted him to be a big fat fucking success. I told him when we first got together, that I wanted him to become the best homosexual he could be. He clearly couldn't do that with me and unfortunately, it took a bomb, a proposal, and planning a wedding to figure that out. Of course it hurt and I'd miss him terribly, but it was for the best. I hoped it was anyways, I thought while lying down under the duvet where he last left me. I had tears dried on my chest, my own; I didn't even realize I had cried them. I would never forget the bond we forged and I still felt it there under my duvet, all alone. I would never truly be apart from Justin; I knew that in my heart. It couldn't be the end, it just couldn't. Therefore, it wasn't.


	3. Long Distance Dysfunction

Where the Wind Blows

Ch. 3: Long-Distance Dysfunction

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters nor do I presume to do so.

I couldn't believe it had been three months since I moved to New York. Three months since being in Pittsburgh. Three months away from my mother and my sister and my friends. Three months without any contact whatsoever from Brian, whom I loved more than life itself. That was the hardest part of all.

I constantly wondered what he was up to, if he had found someone else. I knew that was a ridiculous notion. He had a hard enough time admitting his feelings to me, so I found it hard enough to believe he could give his heart to another so quickly. But Brian was an unpredictable storm. He knew it, and I knew it better. Hell, I wrote the Brian Kinney Manual but he overrode it altogether with that marriage proposal.

I was still reeling from that, by the way. I couldn't believe that Mr. I Believe In Love Not Fucking, proposed, to me! Was I really that special? Yes, to him, I answered within myself automatically. I never understood what it was about me that captivated him. I knew that the reason was the other way around; he was like an Adonis, top notch. Not just in bed, but in business, and in life.

His shitty childhood rendered him incapable of feeling true love, according to him. I changed all of that. Even with all of our ups and downs and our tears and breakups, I still managed to turn things around for him.

I honestly couldn't believe I let Lindsay fill his head with that bullshit. I'm also surprised that Brian fell for it. I always knew she had too much influence over him. She was the only one besides Mikey or me, who had any sway over him. When Lindsay showed Brian that article of me from the Art Forum Magazine, I knew trouble was on the horizon.

But I needed to stop thinking about that. I was here in New York and there was nothing that could be changed for the moment. God, I missed Brian so much my insides hurt. My career hadn't gone anywhere, yet, and it was getting to be a bit frustrating. It had only been three months, though. I couldn't be a pansy, well, even more of one than I already was, and just give up. That would show that I'm just pathetic and I need a man in my life, Brian specifically, and that just wasn't true. I made a deal with myself to become successful here if I couldn't be at home with Brian, and that was exactly what I was going to do, even if it killed me.

All of a sudden, a phone rang, interrupting my thoughts. It was my cell phone. I rolled off of my stomach and onto my side so I could reach the ringing phone on my bedside table. I turned it to look at the screen and the number said Restricted. That was strange, I thought, I never get those.

"Hello?"

All I heard was breathing in the phone. Wheezing. Wait, I knew that sound! Brian had a deviated septum! It had to be him!

"Brian? Is that you?" More breathing.

"Come on, Brian. I can hear you breathing," my voice strained impatiently.

Then that was it, he hung up.

"Fuck!"

Why couldn't he just say something? Just knowing he was calling me was ripping me up inside. Did he need me as much as I needed him? What the hell was I thinking? Brian didn't need anyone. Shit, I stopped, now I was sounding just like him. I knew Brian needed people just like the next person. I still liked to think he was impenetrable. Well, almost, I smirked.

It was getting late, I decided. I needed to get some sleep if I was going to keep looking for an agent tomorrow. I lied back down in bed, and frustrated, I fluffed my pillows about ten gazillion times. I couldn't get them the way I wanted to so eventually I just plopped down and pulled my duvet almost up to my head.

I hated sleeping alone, without him.


	4. Agencies Galore

Where the Wind Blows

Ch 4: Agencies Galore

DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters nor do I presume to do so.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry I am really bad with updating my stories and I'm trying to do better. Enjoy!

I had only been in New York for six months, yet it felt like years. Six long months away from the one I loved more than I loved my own life. I knew Brian would cringe at how lesbianic my thoughts had become.

I knew he thought some, too, but he never voiced them out loud, that was until the proposal. The second proposal to be exact. I had never seen Brian put his heart on the line, so easily visible among the shattered pieces of his soul that he carried around with him. It almost seemed like he was completely healed, but I knew his childhood could never be erased from his memory.

He always felt like he was like his dad or that he would turn out like him somehow; that couldn't be further from the truth. If he could only see what I did, when he was with Gus. He was the most loving father and Gus idolized him with equal vigor.

Being without the both of them was so difficult, and probably even more so for Brian because Gus was so far away in Canada, and me in New York. He probably felt abandoned. It was pure torture to not be able to even call him on the phone. I was tempted a few times to pick up the receiver and dial his cell. I always hung up before pressing the last number on the keypad. I didn't think it would be detrimental to actually talk to Brian, but I didn't think he necessarily wanted to talk to me, either. Not that he didn't _want _to because I'm sure he missed me like crazy, but more that he couldn't.

I didn't get any more wheezing phone calls, nor did I try to call him back. I figured he just needed to hear my voice to know I still existed. I didn't want to call him back either because I didn't want him to see my number and think that something was wrong. I also didn't want him to look down on me thinking I'm calling him because I feel like I can't make it. Quite the contrary, I was making it just fine.

In fact, I had my first solo show in New York coming up in a few weeks. I was contemplating whether or not to send Brian and invitation, but I figured he'd be hurt if I didn't.

It occurred to me that I should invite him the best way; in person. I wanted him to see for himself how excited I was to have my first solo show, also I wanted to throw it his face that I so can be successful, not that he ever doubted it.

All of a sudden, my ringing phone set me out of my thoughts. I was my agent.

"Marti? Yes I'm doing great, how are you?"

"Great! Excited for your first art show?"

"Beyond excited!"

Marti was a great guy. I met him at a networking event actually. Up and coming artists could show their work at a paid networking event. It was a hundred dollars, best hundred dollars I had ever spent, because Marti ended up signing me on the spot. It was a wonderful feeling.

He loved the abstraction that my art contained, and he understood the underlying meanings right off the bat. I knew he was the one because of that. He didn't know everything about me, but he could sense all of my emotional pieces were connected to Brian and he could tell me the story of my relationship without me telling him anything in return. It was a fabulous connection, and he was gay AND successful to boot. He signed many of the up and comers and if I was lucky, I might be able to show my work with his successful clients in a huge gala show coming up in the next two months. It all depended on how many of my pieces sold at my solo show.

I was both nervous and extremely excited. I couldn't wait to invite Brian. Marti got me back in the zone when he asked me exactly that.

"Do you think you're going to invite Brian?"

"I was thinking about it, I'm really nervous, though."

"How come? I'm sure he'd be thrilled to see how well you've done for yourself in only three months."

Marti wasn't only my agent, he was also my friend and I was definitely lucky to have him.

"I don't know. I'm worried he won't show up."

"If he was willing to give you space to let you explore your opportunities here, I'm sure he'd want to share in them with you."

"You're right. I'm going to invite him. I really want to do it in person."

"Well you still have some time before you have to be ready for the show, so you should do what you need to do, Justin."

"Thanks, Marti, I really appreciate the encouragement."

"Anytime; after all, it's in the job description," Marti joked.

It was decided. We said our goodbyes, and I went online and booked the next flight out to Pittsburgh. Brian would be so surprised!

TBC


	5. Lions and Tigers, Oh My! Part 1

Where the Wind Blows

Chapter 5: Lions and Tigers, Oh My! Part 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters nor do I presume to do so.

Author's Note: It has been over a year since I've updated my story. An acquaintance of mine, Brittany, told me I needed to update my unfinished stories, and there are a lot of them. So I'm starting with this one for her. Sometimes life just gets in the way.

**Justin's POV:**

I couldn't believe I was finally doing it. I was on a fucking plane heading back home. It was bittersweet. I was only going there for one thing, Brian. I hoped he was going to be thrilled to see me after six months of being apart. I knew I could barely contain my excitement.

There I was, on a plane back to Pittsburgh. On my way to him. Would things be as I had left them? Would he be happy to see me? Or would this be a mistake? I couldn't think that way. I couldn't play on all or any what-ifs. Shut up, Justin Taylor, I thought to myself. Everything will work out fine. You're just going to invite him to a fucking art show so he can see what you have accomplished. The little pep talk I gave to myself seemed to be working as I relaxed and sunk deeper into my airplane aisle seat. I wanted to sit by the window, but that didn't work out. I always loved flying and it actually inspired me to paint every single time when I sat next the window. I looked around at all of the passengers, each them having their own stories and their own lives.

We were all passengers, I supposed, passengers of life. I wondered if they had lovers, families, people who loved them as much as they were loved. I wondered if any of them were in my situation. I always thought mine and Brian's situations were unique, and they were, for us, but we couldn't be the only ones going through all of these unsettling thoughts and doubts about our futures. It kind of comforted me to think that I wasn't the only one who was away from the person they love and having it kill them from the inside.

I didn't think I could be inspired to paint in New York because Brian was my inspiration. I wasn't, at first, but after a while I was able to find beauty in every day things and be able to turn them into abstract interpretations. To me, time was fluid, and so were my paintings. Colors mixed together representing the multiple threads within reality. My agent understood that, and so did Brian, I was just hoping people at the art show would see it, too.

I wanted to be a Big, Fat Fucking Success, as Brian would put it. I needed to be the best homosexual I could possibly be, that way when I was revered and recognized in the art world, I could come home to him, having known that the time we spent apart was worth it. I needed to be more secure in who I was. Brian was hugely established in the advertising world. He made a name for himself. It took me a while to realize that was what I wanted too. This separation from Brian was a good thing. I didn't want to be known as Brian Kinney's partner, what's his name? I wanted to be known as Justin Taylor, _known _member of the art community who just so happened to have an equally successful partner, Brian Kinney.

I understood why he pushed me away, but that didn't mean it hurt any less. The thoughts passed through my head as if the plane was speeding towards its destination, because the next thing I knew, we were landing. It took a few minutes and then I was at the baggage claim terminals looking for my stuff. About five minutes went by before I saw my luggage and I was on my way. I walked down to the lower level and out into the warm Pittsburgh summer air. It was perfect. I hailed a taxi and gave him Brian's address. It was finally happening. I was on my way. I couldn't believe it had been six months.

I should have known what to expect. Arriving unannounced always had its problems; you never knew what you were about to walk in on. I should have.

I paid the taxi driver for his troubles and went up to Brian's loft. I pushed the button waiting for the buzzer to open the gate. What should I say? Before I could decide on what vernacular to use, someone else was going into the building so I just decided to tag along. I walked up the stairs to Brian's loft. I remembered I still had a key so I opened the door and went straight for his bedroom, where I figured he'd be after getting off work. He was there, only he wasn't alone. I should have known better. He was fucking. Some guy.

He didn't even hear me come in, but I cleared my throat and he turned around and he stopped, mid fuck, and did something that surprised me. He didn't give me his usual cocky side-grin that I expected him to when he usually saw me catch him in the act; he seemed mortified. I turned around and headed into the kitchen, not understanding what had happened. Not understanding his reaction. I would find out later that I made a huge mistake. The Brian Kinney manual that I wrote and studied, having been unopened for so long, bit me in the ass.


	6. Lions and Tigers, Oh My! Part 2

Where the Wind Blows

Chapter 6: Lions and Tigers, Oh My! Part 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters nor do I presume to do so.

Author's Note: I wanted to let you all know that Brian is pretty much OOC from what we see him as on the show. But if the show had continued, I believe this is how Brian would be. He changed a lot, especially in Seasons 3-5 so I feel that this Brian isn't as OOC as it could come across as being. Just a warning.

**Justin's POV:**

Brian didn't finish getting off with the trick. He did something completely opposite, which I did not expect in the slightest. I still didn't understand why me walking in on him fucking some nameless Joe elicited that form of a reaction from him.

Anyways, he immediately pulled out of said trick's ass and yelled at him to get the fuck out.

"What the fuck? Why, you asshole? We weren't finished!" He turned around and threw his hands up at Brian.

"Yes. We were," He said through gritted teeth. He continued, "Now get the FUCK out of here!" He threw him the rest of his clothes and made sure he left the loft before closing the door behind him.

I was afraid to see what expression Brian would have on his face and what his angered emotions would pivot to when he focused back onto me. Standing there. Unsure what the fuck just happened. I was never afraid of Brian, but something in that moment made me afraid for the first time.

The worst thing happened. He didn't turn around to face me, at all.

"What are you doing here?" He had apparently calmed down, but he didn't sound thrilled.

"I wanted to surprise you." That was all I could muster up the courage to say.

He finally turned around. He must have been composing himself because any traces of anger that were on his face when he kicked "Joe" out, had dissipated.

"Justin." He laughed. He fucking laughed! I didn't need to wait long before he spoke again. "Out of the 6 years we've known each other, you didn't know I hated surprises?"

It dawned on me now what mistake I had made.

"Oh, fuck. Brian, I'm sorry! It's just… it's been 6 months since I've seen or heard from you and I was just so excited to see you that I didn't think about it!" I ran my fingers nervously through my hair, which had grown considerably longer once again.

This seemed to bring him out of his less than chipper mood and he actually smiled at me.

"Excited about what?" Brian smelled himself and apparently he didn't like what he found. "Hold that thought. I'm going to take a quick shower. Do you mind?"

"What? No, not at all. Go ahead." I secretly wanted to join him.

He started to walk towards the shower, the sweat from his fucking still gleaning off of his totally flawless body. I was beginning to get hard. Before I even know what I was saying I blurted out, "I missed you. A lot."

He turned back around and what he said next totally surprised me. It was my turn, I guess. "I missed you, too."

I started to walk towards him but he put up his hand to signal me to stop.

"No."

I appeared hurt and that's when he realized what he'd done.

"Oh, no, I mean…I want to hold you, I just want to wash the grime away, first."

"Oh, okay. I'll just go sit." I walked over to his Italian style leather couch and sat down. He went into his bathroom and shut the door. Dang, I wouldn't be able to see his naked body through the clear glass shower slider door.

Five minutes later, barefoot, he padded over to me and sat down next to me with nothing but a towel on. Water droplets from his hair randomly landed on his chest and slowly made a trail down towards his towel. God, he was so fucking beautiful. As glamorous as the first day I laid eyes on him.

"So, how have you been?" He turned to face me and I couldn't make out the look in his eyes. They looked…sad almost. But a long-lasting sadness, like it's been there for a while. And he kept searching my eyes for something. I didn't know what. He started back and forth into each eye. It was mildly distracting.

He kept his hands to himself. That was too long. By now, normally, he would have touched me in some way. It kind of threw me off a bit. He was acting so strange.

"I've been great! That's actually partly why I'm here. I have my first solo show coming up next month!"

"Really? That's…that's fantastic! How many pieces?"

"Twenty-seven. It's been keeping me busy the past three months."

"I bet. Wow, three months to create that many? You must not have any free time."

"No, not really." I laughed. It must have been a laugh worthy of a Sunshine smile because he smiled brilliantly back at me. He always had a certain reaction when I gave him a Sunshine smile. I love how Debbie trademarked that name for me and it just stuck. Even for Brian.

"I have two more pieces to create by next month but I figured I could create those later. I needed a break."

"So that's why you came back to the Pitts? For a break?"

"Yeah, that. And I really wanted to see you."

I frowned. "What's wrong? He asked me, concerned.

"You haven't touched me once since I got here…" I lamented. "Is something wrong?"

"What? No! I just…"

"What? You just, what?"

"Are you really here? I'm not imagining this?"

"Why? Do you imagine me being here, often?" I laughed jokingly.

After I stopped laughing, the pained look on his face revealed to me that, in fact, he had imagined my return. Oh, shit, I felt so stupid now. I didn't realize how much my departure actually harmed him, emotionally. Normally, though, when Brian felt emotion in high volumes he would find a way to hide it. He didn't attempt that at all, here. That's when I realized that was another problem with the element of surprise that he hated. He didn't have enough time to put up his front that he always put up when dealing with emotions; his walls.

He avoided the question but, instead, asked me one.

"But you're really here, right?"

"Yes, I'm really here." A few moments of silence went by and he was just staring at me. He still didn't try to touch me. I longed to feel his fingers even if he just brushed them along my leg. Something. Anything.

I broke the silence. "Brian, please." I didn't resort to begging often, but I was desperate. I needed him to reach out.

He knew what I wanted because he slowly, tentatively, reached his hands towards my face. I closed my eyes and instinctively leaned in to his touch has his hand caressed my face. The instant his fingers met my face, my entire body tingled. I loved this reaction. It was unlike anything we had ever experienced together, before. It was magic, that's the only way to describe what it was. Our synapses were bouncing off the walls. We were connected through and through with every ounce of our beings. This was what true love felt like and I never wanted it to end.

The way he was slowly touching me, running his hands down my arms, my chest, then back up to my shoulders and my neck was torturous. I wanted him so badly and had never wanted him as much as I did right now.

I could tell he had a hard-on. It was kind of unmistakable with just his lowly towel around his waist. That needed to be removed as soon as possible. I reached out and ran my hands through his hair and slowly made my way down towards my destination. He hadn't even attempted to touch me there, yet.

I finally got down to his cock and I grabbed it with my hand, or what I could get of it, anyways; the towel being the obstacle.

"Wait. Stop." He grabbed my hand in protest.

"What? Why? I can tell you're hard." I was so confused. He didn't want me to touch his dick? Since when?

"Because, I…It's been so long since I've even seen you. I don't want to rush this experience. Doesn't it feel wonderful for you, too?"

"Yes, yes! Of course it does." I grasped both sides of his face and direct his eyes to mine. I stroked his cheek. "It feels like its been a year rather than just 6 months. Maybe even longer."

"I know." He smiled at me but it was a weak attempt. I didn't realize how my leaving had affected him. I completely underestimated.

"How long are you here for?"

"Shh. I'm here. That's all that matters."

"Okay." He nodded.

I brought my lips to his and kissed him, at first, barely putting any pressure on his lips with mine. I wanted to kiss him passionately, but this needed to come first. He increased the pressure and the pace of our kissing and finally inserted his tongue into my mouth. God I missed the way he tasted.

I didn't know how long we were like that. Minutes. Hours. Days. I lost my ability to rationalize what time meant. I needed more of him. I always did.

His hands traveled from my face down to my waist where he let them remain. I had never been so horny. This was insane.

"Brian, Brian." I pulled away from kissing him even though he was reluctant to do so. I just looked at him and it was enough. He stood up as I did and he picked me up into his arms. I giggled. I loved when he did that. He carried me towards my desired destination. Where I missed being for so long. His bed. It was always with him; where I belonged.

We connected the best way we knew how. He was on top of me and it was heaven. He started kissing me again and then made his way down my neck.

He paused and I thought he was going to stop when he said, "You're wearing way too many clothes. Take them off."

"You don't have to tell me, twice." He got off of me so I could remove my clothing starting with my shirt all the way down to my socks. I didn't realize I must have taken my shoes off when I entered his loft because I wasn't wearing them.

He removed his towel and I eyed the prize with eagerness. We went back to our previous position, he on top, and me under him. He looked into my eyes and just stared.

"You're so beautiful."

"Thank you." I giggled again. Dang it, I sounded like a schoolgirl. He seemed to like it, though, and I was rewarded with a laugh of his own. It never sounded sweeter. "So are you." He smiled at me in response.

What he did surprised me next. He was full of surprises. He didn't hate giving them, just hated receiving them. Now, that didn't go for blowjobs, of course. He loved giving and receiving, but only if he was giving me head. He never blew tricks.

He took my cock into his mouth and sucked ferociously like a man on a mission. God that felt so fucking good. He brought me to the edge and back a few times. He stopped right before I came and maneuvered back up my body.

"I want to cum inside you."

"Yes, please."

I didn't want him to lube up his cock so I decided to return the favor. I flipped him over which normally would have been difficult, but he didn't expect it. I took his cock in my mouth and took all of it in one swoop. He moaned. Brian wasn't always verbal in the beginning but I had that effect on him. I loved it. I wanted him to last inside me for a while, so I stopped almost as soon as I started. I released his cock with a pop. I could tell he didn't like the loss of contact but we'd get it back.

He went ahead and put the condom on and flipped us back over so he was once again on top. He started to use a lubed finger to open me up, but I wanted him so bad I didn't care. I didn't need it. All I needed was him.

"No, don't." He looked at me confusedly. "I don't need it. Just you. I guided his hand down to his cock. I didn't need to mention it again. Before long, he entered inside me. I wanted him as soon as possible and I got my wish.

He told me _his_ wish, "I want to make love to you. You don't know how long I've wanted to do that."

"Yes. I do."

He leaned down to kiss me tenderly. It was, dare I say, romantic. Perfect.

Since I didn't become thoroughly prepared, it was a little rough at first. But Brian made sure I was okay every step of the way.

"Just relax, breathe."

I did as I was told and it made Brian slide further inside me much easier. I loved that I learned everything from sex from him. I never got tired of experiencing this with him and I never would, no matter how old we got.

Once we passed that point, he was nearly all the way inside me. He paused at that moment.

"Justin. I…" he looked away knowing he couldn't say what he really wanted to say.

"I know. Me too." I smiled at him reassuringly, letting him know I was as much in the moment there with him as he was and it wasn't a dream. He continued to make love to me until I nearly saw stars. Finally, the natural order of things took over and he had to speed up so that we could both find our sweet releases. Our sweat-slicked bodies rubbed up against each other creating flawless friction. We moaned and whispered each other's names into our ears. I never wanted it to end. Unfortunately, it had to. It always did.

We both came, me first and due to the clenching of the walls around his cock, he soon followed suit. He collapsed on top of me and didn't attempt to remove his still hardened but spent cock. He knew I loved it, but he wasn't fooling me. He loved it, too. Although, he'd never admit it. Eventually, he softened so he needed to pull out. He grabbed the condom by the base and slowly removed himself. I hated the feeling of him leaving me. The loss. I never wanted to leave him again, ever.

He rolled off of me and pulled me into his arms, not caring I was all sweaty. I relaxed to the slowing of his breathing and before I knew it I had fallen fast asleep. In the arms of the man I loved.


End file.
