


Broken Dreams

by julesmonster



Category: Queer as Folk
Genre: Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-22
Updated: 2011-04-10
Packaged: 2014-01-13 06:43:01
Rating: T
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,223
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5989553/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/968581/julesmonster
Summary: Justin is in New York, Lindsey and Gus are in Canada, and nobody's lives are what they expected. Can Brian take all their broken dreams and make them happy again, or is it too late to go back? **Newly Edited and Chapter breaks added**





	1. Chapter 1

**Broken Dreams**

**By Julesmonster**

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:** Okay, this was one of my earliest QaF fics and I was rereading it this weekend and realized that the formatting was horrid and that reading 25k+ words in one chapter is a bit difficult. So here's the same story cleaned up a little, broken into chapters and section breaks inserted. Enjoy! Jules

**Part One**

Justin looked out the window at the New York skyline wishing he was anywhere but here. No, that wasn't true; he was wishing he was back in Pittsburgh. He shook his head and walked away from the expensive view. It had cost him too much to get here. It had been two years of hell since he and Brian had walked away from a wedding and from each other to pursue their own separate lives. Two years of slogging through the New York art scene trying to get his work noticed. Everyone had expected that a good review would open doors for him. It had. For about a week, and then he was old news.

The first six months, Justin had worked three jobs just to pay rent on a place that was smaller than Debbie's living room and that he had to share with another guy. There was no time to paint. There was no room to paint. And there was no money to buy supplies. He had no time to go to clubs, so when he would get the occasional call from Brian, he would make up fantastic tales about the places he went and tricks he had picked up.

The truth was, Justin had only gone to one club in the first six months and had felt lost and out of place, so he hadn't gone back.

After six months he was ready to give up New York. Then Tom offered him a place to live and work. It was a business arrangement of sorts. Tom was a regular at one of the restaurants where Justin worked and had spent weeks chatting him up and finding out all about him, so he knew how hard Justin worked and how desperate he was to paint again. And slowly he broke down Justin's resistance.

Tom Webster was older, in his forties, and was a very successful businessman. He told Justin that he had little time to spend trolling the clubs and just wanted someone to come home to at night. He was charming and not bad looking, despite his age, and before long, Justin found himself giving in to his advances.

It was probably the worst decision he had ever made. Two weeks after moving in, Justin had made the mistake of telling the older man about Brian. They argued because Tom knew that Justin still talked to Brian on the phone occasionally, and the argument ended with a black eye and a split lip for Justin. He almost left then and there. And he should have, but he had no place to go. His old roommate had already rented out his place, and he had given up his jobs. And he was finally painting again. He didn't want to give that up. So, when Tom apologized he stayed.

They had been together for almost a year when Justin ended up in the hospital the first time. Tom had broken a couple ribs and Justin wasn't able to breathe. He had passed out and Tom had panicked. Justin thought that things might be better after that, and they were for a few months, but Tom had been falling back into his old patterns lately and Justin knew what was inevitably coming.

A part of him wanted to go home, to call Brian and ask him to take him away from all this, but he couldn't do that. Brian had moved on with his life without Justin, just the way they had planned. And he didn't want to admit how stupid he had been, just another dumb twink.

Justin brushed the tears from his eyes and walked to the bathroom. He carried his cell phone with him, turned on vibrate. Tom wasn't due home yet, but he didn't want to take the chance, and Justin was expecting a call from Brian. Justin ran hot water in the oversized tub while he carefully undressed. He had a good sized bruise on his side from a minor spat yesterday and undressing was painful. Once naked, Justin looked at his body in the mirror. He could hardly recognize himself. Besides the bruise on his side, he had finger shaped bruises on both arms and his eyes looked sunken and hollow. He had lost too much weight and now resembled a heroin addict. He turned away from the mirror and tried not to think about it.

He had just sat back in the tub when his phone vibrated. "Hey."

"Hey yourself," Brian said and Justin could feel the tension and depression from earlier lift away at the sound of his familiar voice. "How's tricks?"

"Oh, I blew two guys last night, and fucked a third," Justin said lightly. "And you?"

"Sure you did, Princess," Brian scoffed. "And I'm just fine. Babylon is hopping every night with the great Brian Kinney pulling the strings."

"Make any go-go boys blow you for a chance at the bar lately?" Justin teased.

"I am not Sap," Brian growled. "I can get sucked off without blackmail, thank you very much."

"Yes, but you are getting older, aren't you?" Justin said. "What are you now? Thirty-eight?"

"Thirty-five," Brian snapped. "I won't be thirty-six for…"

"Three weeks and six days," Justin filled in for Brian.

"Speaking of old," Brian said. "How's granddad?"

Justin's body tensed and his tone grew distant. "Tom's fine."

Brian could feel the tension through the telephone line. "Why don't you ever want to talk about him?"

"I just don't," Justin said. He could hear Tom out in the other room. "Listen, I got to go. Call me next week." He didn't wait for Brian to respond; he just hit the end button and tossed the phone onto the table beside the bath before pulling the plug and standing up.

Tom walked into the bathroom and glanced at Justin with contempt. "Who were you talking to?"

Justin tried to think of a lie, but nothing came out. "Brian."

He didn't even have time to shield himself before the first blow. "What have I told you about talking to that man?"

"I'm sorry," Justin mumbled, his jaw already swelling and his head spinning.

"We'll just see how sorry you are," Tom shouted as he swung his fist again.

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

Brian heard the phone hit something, and realized Justin thought he had ended the call. He tried to call Justin back, but Justin obviously couldn't hear him. And then he heard Tom's voice, filled with anger and loathing. He heard the crack of flesh meeting flesh and heard Justin apologize. After that, everything was a haze of fear and helplessness. It was like being back in that parking garage seven years ago. Justin was being hurt and there was not a damned thing he could do about it from four hundred miles away.

Then things were silent for a long time, and Brian's fear grew. He heard Tom curse and throw something that shattered. Then he heard the phone being picked up and the call was disconnected.

"Shit!" Brian cursed, wanting to throw something himself. He paced his bedroom for about thirty seconds before making a decision. If he hurried, he could make the last commuter flight to New York. He didn't even bother to pack a bag, just grabbed his wallet and keys, set the alarm and was out the door.

He was at the airport, waiting to board his flight when his cell rang. It was a New York number, so he picked it up.

"Mister Kinney?" a woman's voice came over the line.

"Yes," Brian said. "That's me."

"I'm the ER social worker for St. Sebastian's Hospital in Manhattan. We have a young man, a Justin Taylor, in our emergency room," the woman said. "The medical papers in his wallet list you as his medical proxy."

Brian swallowed hard and nodded. "Yes, that's correct. What's happened? Is Justin alright?"

"Justin was dropped off at the emergency room by an unknown person," the woman said. "He appears to have been badly beaten, and he has been unconscious since he arrived. The majority of his injuries, while painful, are not life threatening. However, the doctors have discovered that Justin's spleen was ruptured. He needs immediate surgery."

Brian swallowed hard again. "And you need my consent. Do what you have to do to save him. I'm actually on my way to New York right now. My flight lands at JFK in two hours. How long will the surgery take?"

"It depends," the woman said. "If everything goes well, he may be out by the time you arrive."

"Who do I ask for when I get there?" Brian asked.

"My name is Sheila. I'll be on duty all night. Come to the ER and ask for me," She said. "I'll make sure you get to wherever Justin is then."

"Thank you," Brian said. "I have to go; they're boarding my flight now."

"Mr. Kinney?" Sheila said before he could hang up. "Try not to worry too much. This is the best hospital in the city, and we have some of the finest surgeons in the world. Justin is in good hands."

"Thanks," Brian sighed and hung up.

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

Justin woke up to dim fluorescent lighting and the antiseptic smell that was common in all hospitals. His whole body hurt and his mind couldn't quite process everything yet. The last thing he remembered was Tom coming home. And Justin had been on the phone with Brian. Right.

"Hey," a familiar voice said, and Justin thought he was dreaming. Maybe the painkillers were too strong. "Come on Princess," Brian cajoled. "I know you're awake."

"Bri?' Justin slurred. His jaw ached like mad.

"There you go. Got it in one," Brian teased.

"Wha…?" It hurt too much to talk.

"What am I doing here?" Brian chuckled. "Trying to save a self-destructive twink? No, I wouldn't be that altruistic. The hospital called me as your proxy to get permission to do surgery. That's why you're probably feeling really groggy right now. The doctors said it would take some time for the anesthesia to wear off completely."

"Tom?"

"Of course," Brian sneered. "The cowardly asshole who dropped your unconscious body at the doors to the ER and ran. How could I forget him? He's been by once, and has been warned not to come back again if he wants to live."

Justin nodded. Now that Brian was here, he couldn't imagine going back to Tom.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Brian asked, even though he knew Justin couldn't give him a real answer right then.

"Couldn'" Justin slurred. "Had to…Make you proud."

"Fucking little shit," Brian said fondly as he brushed the hair from Justin's forehead. "I'm proud of you no matter what you do. You should know that by now."

Justin nodded, but his eyes were already closing as the drugs took him back into a painless sleep.

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

"Is there anyone around here who could pick me up a change of clothes and a toiletries kit?" Brian asked Sheila when she stopped by that morning before her shift ended. Justin was still sleeping most of the time, but he had woken up twice since that first time. Brian was still reluctant to leave his side, however.

"I can have one of the candy stripers go," Sheila said. "Just give me your particulars and a credit card."

Brian took the notepad Sheila was carrying and wrote out his sizes and a budget. "Make sure this girl has some fashion sense. I refuse to wear anything that was purchased at a store with 'mart' in the name. On principal."

"I'll get Ron to go," Sheila smiled. "He's a real fashionista. Is there anything else you need? Anyone you think should be contacted?"

"No," Brian said. "Not until he wakes up and can make some decisions with a clear head."

Sheila looked at Brian for a long minute considering how to ask her next question. "How did you know? You were already on your way here, in a hurry, without luggage or anything. The only reason I can think of is that you somehow knew."

"I was on the phone with him when it happened," Brian sighed and looked away. "I felt so goddamned helpless. Again. When he was seventeen, a fucking homophobic asshole tried to bash Justin's brains in with a baseball bat. I was there, but I was too far away to stop it. Last night was just like that. And all I could think was that I had to get to him."

Sheila put a hand on his arm and said, "If you need to talk about it, you know where I am. And you might want to reconsider calling someone. If not for his sake, then for yours."


	2. Chapter 2

**Part Two**

Ron, the fashionista candy striper, returned a few hours later with a pair of jeans, a pair of chinos, three shirts, underwear, socks, a belt, a toiletries kit and a duffle bag to put it all in. The clothes were actually pretty decent, Brian had to admit as he changed out of the filthy clothes he had been in for the last 36 hours. He had used the shower in Justin's private room to clean up and was feeling better already. After checking on Justin again, and finding that he was still sleeping peacefully, Brian let the nurses on duty know that he was going to the cafeteria.

While he ate, Brian checked the voicemail on his phone and realized that he hadn't let anyone know he was leaving. And his phone had to be shut off in the main part of the hospital. Brian looked at the time. It was only five. He could still call Cynthia.

"Brian?" Cynthia shouted when she picked up her cell. "Where the fuck are you? We had the Caldecott presentation today! I had to call and reschedule, and they were not impressed, let me tell you."

"Cynthia," Brian sighed. "Strictest confidence here, you understand?"

Cynthia was quiet. Brian only asked for confidence when it was really important. He knew she didn't tell his business to anyone. "What's up?"

"Justin is in the hospital," Brian sighed. "They called me because they had to do emergency surgery on him. I flew out last night. I'll be here for at least a week. But I don't want Ted to know, or it will go the rounds of Liberty Avenue and Jennifer will be here before you can snap your fingers."

"Why don't you want Jennifer to know?" Cynthia asked, confused.

"Because it's Justin's choice who and how much he wants to tell about this," Brian sighed. "I won't take that choice away from him."

"Okay," Cynthia said. "In the meantime, what do I tell Ted?"

"Tell him my great aunt Hilda died and I'm in Paraguay for the funeral," Brian suggested wryly.

"Ted knows you don't have a great aunt Hilda," Cynthia reminded him.

"Yes, but if you tell him that, he'll back off, I promise," Brian smirked. It was good to have a few things over Theodore's head. "Listen I have to go. I still have to call Mikey. Ted's been spreading his concern already."

"Good luck," Cynthia laughed. "And tell Justin I'm pulling for him."

"I will." He gave Cynthia the direct number to Justin's private room and had her make a reservation for him at a nearby hotel before hanging up.

A few seconds later, Brian heard Mikey's voice over the distance.

"Brian? Where the fuck are you? Ted said you missed a major meeting today, and I've been trying your cell all day."

"I had to get away for a few days," Brian told him. "And no, I can't tell you why, or where I am. Cynthia knows for emergencies, but you won't get her to tell you, so don't even try it."

"Are you okay?" Mikey asked, subdued.

Brian sighed. "I'm tired and worried, but I'm fine."

"It's not the cancer, is it?"

"No, I'm fine," Brian grimaced. He wondered how long it would take before people stopped assuming every sniffle or sneeze or hiccup in his life was because the cancer had come back? "I had my annual check up last month. I'm all clear, and the likelihood of it coming back decreases dramatically with each year that goes by. So I'll say it again. I'm fine. I just have something I needed to take care of."

"When will you be back?" Mikey asked.

"I'll be gone at least a week," Brian sighed. "Possibly longer."

"Will you explain all this when you get home?"

"I don't know. It's not my story to tell."

"Well, at least call me to check in once in a while."

"I'll do that," Brian promised before saying goodbye and breaking the connection.

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

Justin was awake when Brian returned. "I thought you were a figment of my drug induced dreams," Justin told him.

"No such luck," Brian said. "I'm really here and you have some explaining to do."

"The social worker, Sheila, stopped in before," Justin told him. "She said you've been here since about two this morning. You would have had to have been on your way before they called you." 

Brian could hear the unasked question in Justin's statement. "You didn't disconnect the call. I heard everything. How long has this been going on?"

Justin turned his face away from Brian. "Almost from the very beginning."

"Why?" Brian asked, truly confused. "Why did you stay with him?"

"After the first time he hit me, I thought about leaving," Justin said. "But I had no place to go. I had given up my apartment, such as it was, and my jobs. I had no income, no home, and no friends."

"You could have come home," Brian said.

"And admit that I was a failure?" Justin asked, a single tear trailing down his pale cheek. "Admit that I had given up everything that was important to me for a dream that was never going to come true? I couldn't do it. I tried to get jobs after that, but I have no degree and no real work experience. With Tom, at least I could still paint. After a while, it seemed like enough…it seemed like the best I could hope for."

"That's shit, Justin," Brian scolded. "So you weren't an overnight success? That doesn't mean it won't happen someday. And that shit Lindsey spouted two years ago, about having to be in New York to succeed? That's bullshit too. You were developing a growing regional following in Pittsburgh. In time, that would have gained you national success. Art is like any other business; you have to find your market and make it work for you, then you grow and expand.

"As for giving up what was important to you?" Brian sighed. "Well, that was my decision too. So I get at least half the blame for that. But Justin, none of that justifies staying with a man that hits you. Christ, Justin! What the fuck happened to the boy who fought the world to get what he wanted?"

Justin gave a hiccupping sob and Brian realized that he was crying. "He got lost in the crowded streets of New York, I guess. Everyone here seems to want to be something: an artist, an actor, a singer…It's easy to get lost here."

"Just another reason to fucking come home," Brian told him. "And you are coming home."

Justin nodded. "Yeah, I am."

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

Three days passed and Brian spent every moment he could with Justin, only going to his hotel when the nurses forced him to do so late at night. He returned early each morning before Justin was awake.

On the fourth morning, his wake up call didn't come and Brian overslept. When he finally made it to the hospital, still cursing the fucking hotel staff, he was in a foul mood. As he reached Justin's room, Brian could hear Justin speaking to someone, so he paused on the threshold and listened for a minute.

"Christ, Tom," Justin muttered. "Get this through your fucking head. This was the last time you are going to do this to me. I'm not coming home to you. That place was never my home."

Brian entered the room and nodded when Justin looked up at him. He set a bag from a local bakery on the bed tray and shrugged off his jacket. Justin was still listening to whatever the fucking asshole was saying.

"Yes, Brian is with me," Justin sighed. "No, I don't know any such thing." Another pause. "At least he never hit me. And he never made me feel worthless…Fuck you, Tom…I didn't call to get into all this shit with you. I called to tell you that they are releasing me from the hospital today…No! I don't want you anywhere near me! The only reason I'm telling you anything is that I want you out of the apartment tomorrow so I can get my shit together and be gone!"

Justin took the Danish Brian handed him and smiled his thanks before frowning again. "Listen Tom, if you come anywhere near the apartment tomorrow, I will call the cops and tell them all about how you like to beat up on me…Yes, it is a threat. I have two documented trips to the hospital and at least one witness from this latest attack…Brian was still on the phone and heard everything…Maybe it would stick, and maybe it wouldn't, but do you really want your name being dragged through the mud? What would all your rich snobby friends think?…Fine, you do that. Just stay the hell away from me." Justin finally slammed the phone back into its cradle. "That guy is a fucking asshole. What the hell did I ever see in him?"

Brian snorted but didn't answer while he ate his low carb bran muffin. When he finished he asked. "So we're picking up your shit tomorrow?"

Justin nodded and swallowed his bite of Danish. "I've been cleared to go home. The doctors want me to follow up with my doctors in Pittsburgh, to make sure the sutures are healing properly and eventually to get the external stitches removed, but they said there is no reason to keep me here any longer."

"And you think that means you are well enough to go pack up all your shit?" Brian asked.

Justin got a sheepish smile on his face, "Well, I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to do much, and that you wouldn't want to do much, so I called a moving company and gave them your credit card. I'll pay you back once I get a job."

Brian smiled, "Don't worry about it. I was going to make the suggestion myself. So we go to supervise the movers tomorrow?"

"Tom leaves for work at eight, and the movers are scheduled to arrive at nine. It shouldn't take more than a couple hours. I don't actually own much besides clothes and my art supplies and paintings." Justin said.

"Then I'll have Cynthia book us on an afternoon flight home," Brian said. He paused to watch Justin for a minute. "We haven't discussed this, but what do you want to tell people?"

"About why I'm moving home?" Justin asked and Brian nodded. "As little as possible. I'm not sure I would be able to hide my injuries, even if I wanted to. One welcome home hug from Debbie and my bruised ribs would give the game away. Not to mention, the stitches in my side."

"But you don't want them to know about Tom?" Brian asked.

Justin shook his head. "It's not really their business, is it? I figure we just say I was in an accident and leave it at that. Is that okay?"

Brian sighed. "If that's what you want. I told you, it's your decision to make."

"As for coming home," Justin sighed, "I think honesty will work. I failed."

"You didn't fail," Brian growled. "And you aren't giving up. You are simply reevaluating the necessity of starving for your art, because you now realize that there are other ways to make a name for yourself. Isn't that right, Princess?"

Justin gave a weak smile. "That's right, Brian. I'm reevaluating my options." Brian nodded and sat back in his chair. "Um Brian? When we get back to Pittsburgh…"

"You are staying with me," Brian stated, in a voice that brooked no argument.

Justin smiled wider at that and said, "Thanks. But that's not what I was going to ask. I was going to ask if you had any openings in your art department at Kinnetik."

"No," Brian said. "And even if I did, I wouldn't hire you."

"Oh," Justin sighed and Brian could see the hurt and disappointment all over Justin's face.

"Not because I don't think you would be good enough," Brian explained. "Hell, I think you could teach my staff a few things. But I think you need time to heal, and time to concentrate on your art again…away from that asshole and all the shit you've put yourself through here."

"I don't want to be your kept boy," Justin snapped. "I've had enough of that."

Brian sighed. "Have I ever made you feel trapped, or that you owe me something?" Justin looked apologetic and shook his head. "And you wouldn't be my kept boy. You would be…my…fuck! Okay, back when society knew how to value art and artists, it was normal for a wealthy person or family to sponsor an artist, wasn't it?"

Justin nodded. "So you want to be my patron?"

"If it will keep you from thinking of yourself as a kept man," Brian agreed. "Otherwise, you could think of us as partners."

"Partners?" Justin asked. Brian nodded and turned away to the window, looking out at the shitty view of the building next door. Justin knew what it had cost Brian to use that word, so he didn't push the subject any further. "I can live with that."

"So when are they going to let you out of this place?" Brian asked. "I could do with a decent meal for a change."

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

As promised, it didn't take long at all for Justin's things to be packed and shipped off to Brian's place in Pittsburgh. They ate a late lunch before heading to the airport to catch their flight back to Pittsburgh. By the time they arrived and had gotten Brian's car out of long term parking, Justin was exhausted and in pain. He fell asleep in the car on the drive home.

Brian hated to wake Justin once they arrived, but he quickly shepherded Justin up to the bedroom and into bed. He forced Justin to take his medicine before tucking him into bed for the night.

It was still early, so Brian got on the phone to Cynthia so that he could catch up with work and get a few ideas he'd been mulling over off the ground.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Cynthia asked doubtfully after Brian had laid out his plan for her. "Have you talked to Justin about it yet?"

Brian sighed. "Not yet, but I will. Just get moving on this stuff for me, will you? I won't be into the office until Monday, but you can reach me at home or by email now. Call me if there are any problems. And Cynthia…"

"I know," she said. "It's confidential." Brian could hear her smirk through the phone.

"And no gloating," Brian huffed.

When Brian hung up the phone, he ignored the work he needed to catch up on and began to look up interior designers online.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part Three**

Justin called his mother the next day, and within an hour, she was at the loft cooing over her poor baby. Brian left to run errands fifteen minutes into her visit. When he returned with groceries and refills of Justin's prescriptions, Debbie had taken Jennifer's place. Through the day, one by one, each of their friends stopped by. Brian wondered if Debbie had warned them not to come all at once.

Once everyone had been and gone, Brian heated up the dinner Debbie had sent along with Michael and Ben and sat beside Justin on the sofa. He handed Justin one of the two plates and began eating in silence.

"They all seemed to be happy to have me home," Justin said after a while.

"They are."

Justin sighed. "This all feels so strange. I feel like I don't fit anymore."

"You've changed," Brian shrugged. "And so have they. It will take time to regain what was left behind."

Justin nodded and ate in silence for a few minutes. "Does that include us, too?"

Brian looked at Justin and set his plate on the coffee table. "Justin…You know I'm not good at all this relationship shit."

"I know," Justin said, looking guilty. "But I don't know how to read you the way I used to do."

"Okay," Brian said slowly. "So we talk about it. Just this once."

"Okay."

"When you left, I was supposed to go back to my life the way it was before," Brian said. "That was our agreement. Brian Kinney rises from the ashes. And I did what I needed to do. I put Babylon back together. I continued to build Kinnetik. I picked up tricks and pretended that nothing had changed.

"But everything had changed," Brian sighed. "I won't go spouting some romantic shit about it being all about you, but you were a big part of it. Along with the cancer, and the bombing, and a million other things that we have been through since I met you. It all changed me in some way, and going back to being the man I was before was impossible."

Justin nodded. He understood. He wasn't the only one who had needed to grow up.

"I would go to Babylon and dance and drink and fuck some twink," Brian said. "And then I'd come home to an empty apartment. Then I would go to work tired and irritable the next day and it would all start over again. For months, I tried to be the Brian from seven years ago. In the end, I was just too damned tired of it all to care anymore. So I stopped.

"Now, I only go to Babylon once or twice a week to make sure things are running smoothly and to fuck," Brian said. "I stay for an hour or so, and then I go home."

"Oh," Justin said, a little frown marring his forehead. "What's that got to do with us?"

"I'm getting to that," Brian said and smacked Justin's thigh for his impatience. "With all of that sudden free time on my hands, I had a lot of time to think. And the thing I thought about more than anything was you. I thought about what you were doing in New York. I thought about how I should have made you stay with me instead of sending you away over and over again. I thought about all the shit we put each other through and how we still ended up…together every time. Until I let Lindsey convince me it was in your best interests to go to New York. For a while, I really hated her. She took Gus away and made me give you up all in the same month."

"It was still our decision," Justin reminded him. "Lindsey didn't force either of us to choose what we did."

"And that's the only reason I forgave her," Brian sighed. "Through all of that thinking, I realized something. You and I, no matter how fucked up things get, always end up back together. So part of me held onto that knowledge and waited."

"I didn't know," Justin said, his voice conveying his thoughts. What if they had told each other the truth?

"Of course you didn't," Brian chuckled. "Just like I didn't know how bad things had gotten for you. But Justin, you don't have to question where our relationship stands. It stands where it has always stood. Circumstances change, but this doesn't. We don't."

Justin nodded and kissed Brian softly before resting his head against his shoulder. "I could never stop loving you. I never even wanted to try."

"Good."

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

Brian worked from home the rest of the week and took Justin to the doctor for his follow up visits. Justin relaxed and let his body continue to heal, and spent hours drawing and sketching Brian. When Justin's things arrived on Friday, Brian told him not to unpack them. When questioned, Brian had sighed and told Justin he would explain tomorrow.

So, bright and early Saturday morning, Brian hustled Justin into the car and headed for the highway. They had been on the road for about twenty minutes before Brian took an exit ramp.

"Brian, where are we going," Justin asked warily.

"I know you've only been there a couple of times, but I thought you would remember enough to figure that out," Brian teased.

"Britin? You kept Britin?" Justin asked.

Brian nodded. "I didn't want to live there without you, but…I couldn't let it go either."

"So it's just been sitting empty for two years?" Justin gasped.

"It's been waiting for us to come to our senses. I have a cleaning service come in once a week, and landscapers keep the property up," Brian shrugged.

Justin shook his head in disbelief. "So we really are back to where we left off two years ago."

"Older and wiser, hopefully," Brian smirked. "And I'm not asking you to marry me again."

Justin smiled. "Okay, I guess I'll have to ask next time. But I'll give you a few years to get ready."

"You do that Sunshine," Brian said as he pulled up to the gate and waited for it to swing open.

Once they had pulled up to the house, Justin was eager to get out and explore the house, see if it was just like he remembered. It was.

"You left the chairs here," Justin said as he looked into the big empty living room.

Brian nodded, but didn't say anything. He didn't tell Justin about the times he would come to the house and sit there remembering the few happy moments they had shared there, the dreams they had shared. There were just some things that Justin didn't need to know.

They toured the house and Justin familiarized himself again with each room, half-forgotten dreams resurfacing with each new space. An hour later, as they were returning to the foyer, Justin was startled by the sound of the door chimes.

"Are we expecting someone?"

"Yes," Brian said and went to the door to greet their visitor. A minute later, Brian returned with a woman dressed in a designer pant suit following. "Justin, I would like you to meet Jan. She's going to help us decorate this monstrosity."

Justin's eyes widened. Brian was serious about moving out here, then. "Hello, Jan."

"It's nice to finally meet you, Justin," Jan said. "Brian has been telling me a bit about what you two want done to the house all week, but there were some things he said only you could answer."

Justin nodded. "Um, I guess we should show you around?"

Jan laughed. "It's a good place to start. We'll talk about what you'd like to see in each room, and go from there."

The three of them spent the next two hours going from room to room, talking about function, style and personal taste. When Jan finally left with a notebook full of ideas and measurements, Justin sighed and collapsed into one of the leather chairs.

"You're serious about moving out here?" Justin asked.

"Obviously."

Justin nodded. "What about the loft?"

Brian shrugged. "It's paid for, and it isn't like we can't afford to keep both places. We may want a place in town for nights we feel like going out."

"You have it all worked out," Justin laughed. "Why am I not surprised?"

Brian leaned over the back of Justin's chair and kissed the top of his head. "Because I am the great and all powerful Brian Kinney."

"You certainly are that," Justin said wryly. "You realize that if we are going to live this far out of town that I'll need a car?"

"I do," Brian said. "Where do you think we're going tomorrow?"

Justin laughed again and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. "Alright. You had better feed me well tonight if we are going to spend an exhausting day car shopping tomorrow."

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

Justin drove to the diner on Wednesday morning in his new black Acura MDX. Justin was absolutely in love with this vehicle. It had every luxury available, including ivory leather seats that warmed or cooled at the push of a button and a remote starter.

"Nice wheels honey," Emmett cooed from the booth by the front window. "New toy?"

"Yeah," Justin laughed happily. "We decided to move out to Britin, so I needed some way to get around."

"Oh?" Emmett said. "I hadn't heard all that."

"Well, you know Brian, he keeps all information need-to-know," Justin smiled.

"He does that," Emmett chuckled. "So you two are really making a go of it this time?"

"We are," Justin nodded. They were interrupted by a waitress Justin didn't recognize and he put in his order before turning back to Emmett. "Em, why did nobody think we could make it last time? It seemed like everyone was against us being together."

Emmett sighed, "You and Brian…well, you two can be closer than any two people I know when things are going well. And when they don't you two can hurt each other more than any two people I know. I think everyone just wanted you both to be happy."

"But we weren't happy," Justin said quietly. "Neither of us. And I'll be honest with you; I'd rather be fighting and miserable with Brian than pretend to be happy with anyone else. And the good times…they make all the hard times worth it, you know?"

"I do know," Emmett smiled. "Well, I'm happy for both of you. And despite what most people around here wanted to believe, I knew that Brian wasn't happy without you. What about you, though? How was life in the Big Apple?"

"Fucking miserable," Justin sighed. "I didn't have time or space to paint. I had to work three jobs just to survive. And I missed home. And Brian."

"I thought you were living with some man?" Emmett asked. "Brian ranted on more than one occasion about the fact that he was so much older than you."

Justin gave a tiny shiver and hoped Emmett hadn't noticed. The waitress dropped off Justin's breakfast and he smiled at her in thanks. When she was gone again, Justin turned back to Emmett. "Things didn't work out."

"Oh come on," Emmett pried, "there must be more to the story than that."

Justin shook his head. "We didn't get on and it ended. End of story."

Something about the way Justin's body tensed and his face paled made Emmett drop the subject. "If you say so."

Justin nodded and turned his attention to his breakfast, which he ate in silence, nodding on occasion at something Emmett was prattling on about. When he was finished, Justin paid for his breakfast and turned back to Emmett, who was getting ready to go as well.

"I'm sorry for being such a shit, Em," Justin sighed. "I just don't like talking about Tom."

"It's okay, hon," Emmett said. "We all have things like that in our past, things we don't like to revisit. Are you headed back to the loft?"

"No, I have to head out to Britin to meet the decorator," Justin said.

"Well la dee da!" Emmett laughed. "Look at you!"

"I'll call you soon?" Justin asked. "We can do breakfast again."

"Sure," Emmett smiled. "And maybe you can talk Brian into staying at Babylon for more than an hour. They're having Glowworm night on Friday. All those hot horny guys with their dicks covered in edible glow paint. Yummy."

Justin laughed. "We'll see. Brian's working hard to make up for the time he had to miss."

"Well, don't let him push you into doing all the work on that house," Emmett warned. "If he doesn't get his input, he's likely to complain about it for years."

"I'll make sure he sees and approves everything before we buy it," Justin laughed again. He was happy that things seemed to be getting back to normal with at least one of his friends.


	4. Chapter 4

**Part Four**

Brian looked over the plans and drawings from the designer and nodded in approval. "Have you given any thought to where you want to have your studio? I noticed that there was nothing in these plans for your work space. I thought you were going to use the sun room?"

Justin nodded. "I thought about that, but I'm not sure that either of us could deal with the arguments that would result."

"Arguments?"

"Brian," Justin sighed, "you are a neat freak. I can live with that. But when I work, things tend to get and stay messy. How are you going to feel about seeing that mess just off the living room everyday?"

"Okay, point taken," Brian said. "So where do we put your mess instead?"

Justin hesitated. "I was actually thinking that the pool house might be the perfect solution," Justin said. "There are lots of windows and space. And it has heat and air conditioning and it's well insulated. It even has a work sink and bathroom, so I wouldn't have to traipse back and forth to the house all the time. Unless you had something else planned for out there?"

Brian grinned an easy grin and said, "It's all yours, Sunshine."

Justin grinned back. "Good, because I already started moving my equipment out there."

"You brat," Brian scolded. "Why ask if you've already decided?"

"Because I like to let you think you're in charge," Justin said saucily as he gathered their dinner plates to carry to the kitchen. He was just setting them down on the counter when a twinge of pain shot through him from his stitches. "Fuck!"

"You okay?" Brian asked from the doorway, already coming to help.

Justin leaned against the counter and nodded. "I think I might have overdone it today."

"Let me see?" Brian commanded and Justin dutifully lifted his shirt so Brian could see the sutures. "Doesn't look like you ripped anything open. Your appointment is tomorrow?" Again Justin nodded. "I'm going with you. I'll leave work early and pick you up here, alright? No more lifting shit until the doctor clears you, okay?"

Justin sighed. "I just wanted to paint."

"Well, then ask the guys to help you get things set up," Brian said. "I'm sure Ben, Michael and Hunter wouldn't mind. Or I should have some free time this weekend. Now, come on, let's get your pain pills and go to bed."

"But it's still early," Justin complained.

"And you overdid it today," Brian said. "Besides, you know those pills always knock you out."

Justin gave in and walked up to the bedroom and stripped off his clothes. Brian had his pills and a glass of water for him by the time he climbed into bed. Justin dutifully took the pills and laid back on his pillow. "I wish I was healed already," he muttered sleepily.

"Why's that?" Brian asked as he brushed the hair back from Justin's forehead.

"Because I want you to fuck me," Justin said, stifling a yawn.

Brian smirked. "I want that too, Baby. But it will wait until the doctor gives you the okay."

Justin frowned but nodded. "I missed this. I missed you."

"I missed you too," Brian sighed. "Now go to sleep."

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

"Well, Justin," Doctor Montrose said without looking up from the chart he was reading. "It looks like everything is healing the way it should. I'm going to remove the exterior stitches today, but you'll still need to take it easy for a few more days. The interior sutures are still healing."

"When can he have sex?" Brian asked bluntly and Justin groaned in embarrassment.

The doctor finally looked up at the two men before him with some surprise. "As long as he is careful, he should be okay now. But Justin, if you feel any sort of discomfort, you need to stop what you are doing, no matter what it is."

"Good to know, doc," Brian smirked.

"Justin should be fine to resume all normal activities within the next week," The doctor continued. "But while I have you here, I want to discuss your eating habits, Justin. You are well below your ideal weight and your latest blood tests show slight anemia. You need to start eating regularly, and add more iron to your diet. I'll give you a diet sheet to help you get started. And I'm going to schedule a follow up visit for a month from now, and I want to see you put on some weight between now and then." 

"I told you that you are too skinny," Brian scolded his partner.

"And I didn't disagree," Justin muttered before turning his attention to the doctor. "I will follow your recommendations, Doctor Montrose. Eating is not usually a problem for me, but the last few months have been unusually stressful."

"Normally, he can eat his weight in food in a day," Brian drawled.

"Then I'm sure he won't have any trouble getting back up to a healthy weight," the doctor said. "Now, shall we see about those stitches?"

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

"No red wine," Brian scolded when Justin tried to order his drink at dinner that evening. "It inhibits your iron absorption rates. White wine only." Brian turned to the waiter, "And he'll have the mussels and clams with lentils and a side of broccoli, not a steak."

"Brian," Justin sighed in exasperation. "Steak has iron. And so does the baked potato."

"Not as much as the shellfish," Brian said. "And all that red meat isn't good for your cholesterol levels."

"I don't have a problem with my cholesterol," Justin muttered and turned to the confused waiter. "Forget what he said. Forget what I said. I'll have the linguini in clam sauce with a side of broccoli, and the white wine he ordered."

The waiter rushed off before the two men could change their minds again.

"Do you know how much fat is in clam sauce?" Brian asked, shaking his head.

"Did you forget that I'm supposed to be gaining weight?" Justin asked sweetly. "Which means I want dessert too."

"The doctor didn't say you should double your weight," Brian groused.

Justin sighed, "I know. But you can't control my diet like you control your company. I read the suggestions too. And I'll avoid caffeine and any other food that is on the do-not-eat list. I'll look for ways to incorporate the good foods into my diet. I'll take care of myself. But you are going to make me crazy if you look over my shoulder the entire time."

"You ordered red wine," Brian said accusingly.

"By mistake," Justin admitted. "I got the red and white confused for a minute. I thought that red was the good wine."

"It is, for the heart," Brian shrugged. "Just not for iron absorption. Okay, I'll back off."

"Thanks," Justin smiled. "Now, I want to enjoy this meal and look forward to celebrating the doctor's other recommendations when we get home."

"I don't know," Brian teased. "I'm not sure we could do that without causing you some sort of discomfort."

"The discomfort has been building for days because we haven't done that," Justin complained and leaned seductively over to Brian. "And I'll be very careful while I ride your cock…" Justin trailed off as he looked up to see their waiter, face flushed in embarrassment, holding a bread basket and plates.

"I'll just leave these, shall I?" The waiter muttered and practically dropped the basket and plates before walking quickly away.

Brian and Justin both laughed before sharing the bread.

They ate in silence for a time before Justin brought up a subject that had been bothering him for a few days.

"Brian," Justin said. "Speaking of needing to gain a bit of weight, when Michael and Ben came over the other day, Ben was looking a bit…"

"Thin and pale?" Brian nodded. "He's not been doing well lately. The doctor's aren't sure why, but his body isn't responding as well to the cocktail as they would like. He's been in the hospital twice in the last six months."

"Oh," Justin said and sighed. "I wish I had known."

Brian looked up with concern. "There isn't anything you could have done."

"I know, but…"

"I know," Brian said. "Mikey's been handling it remarkably well, all things considered."

"What about Mel and Lindsey?" Justin asked, attempting change the topic to a slightly lighter subject.

Brian raised a brow and said, "Lindsey hasn't called in a while. Gus still calls me at least twice a week, but it's difficult getting any real information from a seven year old. I worry about them. Mel had to give up practicing law when they moved to Toronto and I know that things haven't been all that great for them there. The last few times I talked to Lindsey, she was increasingly stressed out over finances and their marriage. Same old shit, but now they don't have friends and family to fall back on." Brian shook his head. "I don't know why they ever decided to leave."

"They were scared," Justin said. "We all were after the bombing, but…"

"But they had unrealistic expectations about an ideal life," Brian criticized. "And when reality reared its ugly head and bit them in the ass, it was too late."

Justin shook his head and stared at his half-empty plate. "They aren't the only ones who made stupid decisions."

Brian looked at Justin and said, "No, they aren't. But you've taken steps to get your life back. That takes courage and strength. You need to find a way to put that asshole behind you and move on. Because you are better than that shithead."

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

It took almost three weeks for Britin to be completely decorated, but eventually, the time came for Brian and Justin to move. Justin had spent almost every day out at the house, helping Jan and working in his new studio while Brian worked. The two men spent their weekends together, often shopping for items the new house would need. But once the house was complete, the time for packing had arrived, a task that neither man was anticipating.

"Do we need to bring the espresso machine?" Justin asked in a muffled voice, his head stuck in a lower cabinet in the kitchen. It was late on a Saturday evening and they were hoping to have everything packed for the movers to pick up on Monday.

"We bought that new one last week, remember?" Brian called back. He was sorting their music and movies. "We need the blender, though. I haven't been able to find another one with as much power as the one we have. Can we leave the club music here?"

Justin popped his head above the counter. "No, I paint to that. I'll need it in the studio."

Brian shrugged and dumped several discs into the box he was packing. "This would be easier if we just bought duplicates."

"Or decided to just live in one place or the other," Justin said before he went back to sorting through the kitchen cabinets.

The phone rang and Brian, grateful for an excuse to stop packing, went to answer it. "Hello?"

"Brian, is that you?" a desperate sounding Lindsey was on the line. "You have to help me Brian!"

"Lindsey? Calm down. What's going on?" Brian asked.

Justin heard the concern in Brian's voice and came over to him to listen.

"They're gone, Brian," Lindsey sobbed. "She took my babies and they left me here."

"Mel took the kids?" Brian asked. "Where did she take them?"

"I don't know," Lindsey cried. "I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. They're gone, gone, gone."

"Lindsey, you aren't making sense," Brian said. "I need you to calm down and tell me what's happened."

"Mel left me here," Lindsey whispered. "She made me come here and left me here. No babies. No Mel. Soon…no Lindsey."

"Where are you Lindsey?"

"I'm here. Come and save me Peter Pan."

Justin could tell that Brian was becoming frantic. Lindsey's voice, what Justin could hear of it, sounded manic, childish one minute and filled with despair the next. Justin rubbed Brian's back to try and keep him calm, but he could feel his partner's tension mounting.

"Lindsey! Where the fuck are you?" Brian yelled after listening to Lindsey chanting for a while. "Where is my son?"

"Gussy's gone," Lindsey sobbed. "Mel took him away from me."

Brian turned to Justin. "I can't make any sense of what she is saying. Can you see if you can get Mel on her cell phone and find out what the fuck is going on, and where the hell my child is?"

Justin nodded and went to retrieve his cell, but was waylaid by the door buzzer. He walked over and pressed the intercom. "Yes?"

"Justin?" It was Melanie.

Justin's eyes widened. Mel was here? "Come up, Mel. Lindsey's on the phone and she's not making sense. I was just about to call you." Justin opened the door for Mel and went back to Brian. "Mel's here. She's on her way up."

"Lindsey," Brian said. "Listen to me, Mel is here. She's here with me. Where are you?" Brian turned to Justin and shook his head. "She just keeps saying they're gone."

"Is that Lindsey on the phone?" Mel asked as she walked through the door.

Brian nodded and held the phone out. "Maybe you can get more sense out of her."

Mel took the phone and Brian and Justin listened to her end of the conversation. "Lindsey, baby. What are you doing? …No, I didn't leave you… I told you. I had to bring the kids to Pittsburgh… Yes, I'm coming back for you… Yes, I still love you, baby… No, we'll work this out. Haven't we always found a way before? …Lindsey, where is the nurse? I need to talk to her… No, you aren't in trouble, honey… Yes… Okay, I'll see you Monday, just like I promised."

There was a pause, presumably while Lindsey went to get the nurse. "What happened? How did she get a phone? I thought she was being closely monitored? ...I understand that, but… No, I'll be there Monday. Just make sure she knows I'm coming back. She was extremely agitated when I got on the phone with her… I will. Tell her I'll call in the morning. Alright, thank you."

Mel hung up the phone and dropped her chin to her chest. Her eyes were closed and she was taking deep breaths. "I need to go get the kids."

"You left them in the car?" Brian asked. "Alone?"

"I…" Mel couldn't finish. It was obvious that she was at her breaking point

"We'll go get them," Justin said and grabbed Brian's hand. Now was not the time for accusations. "Come on, Brian."

Brian glared at Mel for a second before turning and hurrying out the door. Justin followed him and took the stairs quickly. Their neighborhood wasn't a safe place to leave a seven-year-old and a three-year-old child alone. When they reached the car, Justin was relieved to see that Mel had at least locked the minivan's doors. Brian was coaxing Gus into unlocking them.

"I kept us safe," Gus said proudly when he opened the door and rushed to Brian's arms. "Mama said I should keep us safe and I did."

"You are a very brave little man, Sonny Boy," Brian said. "Now let's get you and JR into the house where it's safe and warm."

"Uh, Brian?" Justin was standing beside the open door and staring inside.

"What is it?" Brian asked looking up in concern. He picked up Gus and carried him back to the minivan. Inside, JR was sleeping in her car seat, but that wasn't what had caught Justin's eye. Beside her were two baby carriers. Tiny infants, no more than a few weeks old were snuggled up and sleeping peacefully. "Hey Gus? Who are they?"

"My brothers," Gus shrugged. "That's Sam and that's Eli. Mommy brought them home from the hospital a few weeks ago. Then Mommy had to go back to the hospital. Mama said she's not feeling well."


	5. Chapter 5

**Part Five**

Brian and Justin were in shock. Lindsey had been pregnant again? Without telling anyone?

"Let's get everyone upstairs," Justin said. "Gus? Can you carry their diaper bag for me? I'll get JR and your Dad can get the twins, okay?"

Justin's words seemed to break Brian out of his stupor and he nodded. Soon, they were all on the elevator and then back in the loft.

Mel was sitting on the sofa, her eyes red from crying and looking lost. "I see you found Sam and Eli."

"They were a bit of a surprise," Brian said carefully, conscious of Gus' listening ears.

"Not just to you," Mel sighed. She cleared her throat and said, "It looks like you're moving."

"We are," Brian said.

Gus, who had his head against Brian's hip, gave a huge yawn.

"It's past the kids' bed times, obviously. Where are you staying tonight?" Justin asked.

"I…I don't know," Mel admitted.

"There isn't room here for everyone, but there's room at the house," Justin said to Brian. Brian looked at his son and back up to Justin before nodding. "Brian, why don't you ride with Mel and give her directions. I'll gather some things we'll need, and follow in a few minutes, okay?"

Justin's words seemed to break whatever spell the other two adults were under and they began to move, ushering Gus back down to Mel's car and off to Britin. Justin was positive that Brian and Mel would keep the peace as long as the kids were around, so he didn't worry too much about sending them off together. Instead, he concentrated on gathering a few changes of clothes for him and Brian, toiletries, and food necessities. In less than ten minutes, he was lugging the bags down to his SUV and was on his way.

Justin made excellent time getting to the house, and Brian and Mel were still unloading the kids when he got there. He carried his own cargo into the house and sat the clothes and toiletries in the foyer. Then he gave Brian the perishable food items to put away and helped Mel get the kids upstairs.

They had prepared rooms for JR and Gus, and those two sleepy children were soon tucked into their beds. Justin helped Mel set up travel cribs in one of the guest rooms and soon had the babies settled in as well. Mel set up a baby monitor and carried the receiver with her as she followed Justin back down to the kitchen, where Brian was making coffee and had made a few sandwiches from the groceries Justin had brought with him.

It wasn't until they were all seated around the kitchen table that Brian broke the unnatural silence. "What the hell is going on Mel?" Though the words were harsh, Brian's tone conveyed confusion and concern.

"God, I wish I knew," Mel moaned. She paused to take a sip of black coffee and shuddered. "I'm not sure when it started, but Lindsey never really settled in Toronto. She'd be high-strung one minute and depressed the next. But I thought she was just reacting to the bombing and the move and… I wanted to give her time to sort it out. So I worked two jobs to pay the bills and she took on a few art students and took care of JR and Gus. We hardly ever saw each other for months.

"About a year ago, I noticed that something had changed," Mel sighed. "I thought it was a good thing. It felt like I had the old Lindsey back. She was cheerful and happy for the first time in ages. I didn't find out until much later that she was happy because she decided to have another baby."

"How?" Brian asked. "I mean, who is the father?"

Mel flushed and glanced guiltily at Justin.

"What?" Justin exclaimed. "I thought after you chose Michael…"

"Justin's the father?" Brian asked tightly, looking between Mel and Justin. "How exactly did that come about?"

"When I wanted to get pregnant, I talked to Justin about being a donor," Mel explained. "He made a donation, but we decided to go with Michael instead. I thought, like Justin obviously did, that after we chose, the clinic would discard the surplus sperm. They didn't. And when Lindsey got the notion in her head that she wanted to be pregnant again—because somehow that would make everything right with the world—she sent for the sperm."

"When did you find out about all this?" Justin asked, still reeling from the news that he was a father to twin boys.

"Like I said, we hardly saw each other because of our schedules," Mel shrugged. "We certainly weren't having sex very often. Anyway, she was able to hide her condition until she was about six months pregnant. I got off work early one night and decided to surprise her. She had been in such high spirits that I thought we could finally…Well anyway, I caught her as she was coming out of the shower. We fought, she cried, I gave in. It was too late to terminate the pregnancy, and like I said, she was just so damn happy. So I agreed to keep it quiet for a while. I'm sorry, Justin. I know I shouldn't have done that. I should have told you right away, no matter what Lindsey wanted."

Justin just nodded. "Go on. What happened to Lindsey?"

Mel looked back at the coffee in front of her. "After the twins were born, the mood swings came back in full force, only this time, they were more than just moods. She started to lose touch with reality. She would have entire conversations where she forgot that she had the babies, or that we didn't live in Pittsburgh anymore. I urged her to see a psychiatrist, but she would put me off, saying we couldn't afford it. And I let it go, because the truth was we couldn't afford it. But she just kept getting worse."

Mel paused and a few tears fell from her eyes before she swiped them away angrily. "Two days ago, I couldn't put it off anymore. I came home from work and found her with a knife. She was just sitting in the darkened nursery and cutting herself. Gus and JR were in bed, thank god, but there was blood all over her and the babies. She says she wasn't trying to kill herself or hurt the babies, but… The blood… She had cuts all over her arms and legs. At first I thought she might have hurt them, but they were fine.

"I called emergency services and they came," Mel said dully. "She's been in the hospital since. The doctors say she suffers from severe manic depression and delusions. I had a neighbor watch the kids yesterday, so I could be with her, but Mrs. Kidders is too old to watch four children, especially when two are infants and one a toddler. I needed help, so I told Lindsey what I was doing and I packed the kids up this morning. And here we are."

"Why come to me?" Brian asked.

Mel shook her head and laughed a sad laugh. "Because Michael can't handle all this right now. He hasn't been up to see JR since Ben got sick. And because I know you'll help, even if you can't stand me. You love Lindsey and Gus and even JR. And since the twins are Justin's I thought…"

"Alright," Brian said. "You've got the kids here, where they will be safe and cared for. Now what?"

"I've got to go back to her," Mel said. "I can't leave her there all alone."

"No you can't," Brian agreed. "Okay, this is what is going to happen. Justin, you are going to call Debbie in the morning. She'll love the chance to come out here and help take care of the kids. Then you are going to start calling childcare agencies and set up interviews for a nanny. Four children are too much for any one person to handle alone, and you and Debbie both have work to do.

"Melanie and I will go to Lindsey," Brian continued. "Mel, I want her moved down here. We'll pack up your apartment and you are moving in here with us until you can get on your feet again. You cannot work two jobs and raise four children by yourself. You need to get your ass home and get on with your career. And from what I'm hearing, it's going to be a while before Lindsey is fit to be a mother again. So you'll need all the support you can get."

Mel nodded, and it was the most docile Justin had ever seen her. Even though he agreed with Brian, a part of him wanted her to fight back.

"We never should have left," Mel whispered.

Brian snorted in disgust. "I'll tell you what I told Justin. You made a mistake. Now move on. Get over it."

"Easy for you to say," Mel growled, and Justin sighed in relief. She wasn't broken. "No regrets, my ass."

"I think we should all get some sleep," Justin said. "Tomorrow is going to be a very long day for everyone."

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

Emmett drove Debbie out to the house the next morning and the two stayed most of the day. Brian booked an afternoon flight to Toronto, so that Mel had time to help the kids adjust to their temporary home. Justin followed Mel around as she gave him instructions all morning, carefully taking notes and trying to cope with the news that he was a father. Once Brian and Mel had left, Justin let Debbie and Emmett entertain the kids while he got on the phone with the local nanny agencies.

Two hours later, Justin found Debbie sitting with a cup of tea in the kitchen. He fixed himself a cup and joined her.

"Where are the kids?" Justin asked.

"Emmett's got Gus playing some video game in the den," Debbie snorted. "I swear that queen is as big a child as they come. Christ, he's good with the kids though. The twins and JR are taking naps, so we have a few minutes of peace. Enjoy it while you can."

Justin nodded. "The service is sending a woman out tomorrow morning. I talked to her on the phone and she seems really capable. She's in her thirties and a mother of three, so she's got experience with kids. Her kids are all in school now, so she's just started back to work. She needs to leave early two afternoons a week to pick up her kids from school when her mother can't, but she really seemed like the best fit over the phone."

"You'll need to get Gus into school soon," Debbie said. "But I suppose that can wait until Mel and Brian get home. I called Michael. He'll stop by this evening, but I don't think he's going to be much help right now."

"It's okay." Justin smiled. "I do understand." Justin finished his tea and put the cup on the sink. "I'm going to go look in on the twins." He paused at the doorway and looked back. "It wasn't supposed to be like this, you know?"

"I do know, Sunshine" Debbie smiled sadly. "But life never goes the way it's supposed to. We just have to slog through the shit and take our happiness where it comes. And those babies have the potential to bring a lot of happiness, no matter how they got here."

Justin nodded again and went upstairs to the twins' room. He was very quiet, not wanting to disturb the sleeping infants. There were two portable cribs set up and Justin went over to the one on the right first. The baby there—Justin knew it was Eli because of the small freckle on his neck—was sleeping peacefully. He was swaddled tightly in his blanket, but one hand had escaped and it was resting beside the baby's face, as if he had been sucking on his fist in his sleep. Justin smiled and reached out a finger to caress the baby's cheek. His hair, what there was of it, was blond and wispy and Justin could already see his own nose and chin in the boy.

Justin turned to the second crib and found serious blue eyes regarding him. "Hello Sam," Justin whispered. "I'm your papa." When the baby looked like he was gearing up to cry, Justin hushed him and carefully picked him up from his crib. "Oh, no, none of that. You don't want to wake your brother, do you? Let's get you a dry diaper and see if that makes you a little more comfortable, huh?"

Justin set about changing the baby's diaper and wrapping him back up in his blanket once he was dry and comfortable again. Soon, he was holding Sam in his arms and sitting in the chair near the crib, humming a song he didn't remember he knew and speaking softly to his son.

"I didn't know about you," Justin admitted to the baby. "Or your brother. But that doesn't mean I won't love you. I promise to love you very much. I think I already do. But I'm still kind of mad at your mommy. I know she's sick right now, but… Well, she just shouldn't have lied to me. To all of us. It was very wrong of her. But your papa and Brian will take care of you. We'll protect you, no matter what, so don't you worry."

Sam had fallen back to sleep through Justin's one-sided conversation and he carefully rose and placed the baby back in his crib. Then he walked back out into the hallway and leaned against the wall. The hurt and confusion and anger seemed to well up within him and he slid down the wall as his tears began to fall.

That was where Jennifer found him half an hour later. She helped him to his feet and led him to the master bedroom where she let Justin cry on her shoulder for a while longer. Once the flow of tears began to dry up, Justin realized that his mother was there.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" Justin asked as he took the tissue Jennifer handed him.

"Debbie called me," she smiled. "She thought you might need your mother. And I'm glad she did. Are you okay, sweetheart?"

"Yeah," Justin sighed and took a deep breath. "It's just all so overwhelming. Lindsey's illness, the twins…I'm so mad at her, but I feel guilty for being angry. And Sam and Eli are wonderful, and I'm happy that I'm a father, but I'm scared and frustrated too. Because I don't really know what is going to happen to them. I can't let them suffer because of Lindsey's mistakes, but I don't know how Brian feels about any of this."

"Did you get to talk at all before he left?" Jennifer asked.

Justin shook his head. "Last night, we were both still in shock, and then there was so much to do before they left today…"

"What do you want to happen?" Jennifer prodded.

Justin grimaced. "I wasn't given a choice about their birth or anything. And I'm still reeling from learning that they even exist, but I can't see not being part of their lives. They're my children. Mine. They even look like me, Mom. They have my nose and chin.

"I never really thought I would be a father," Justin admitted. "But now that I am, I want to protect them. There is so much pain right now, but I don't want them to suffer for it. I want them to feel safe and loved. I love Gus and JR, but I know that Brian and Michael will look out for their best interests. These are MY children…"

"It is okay to want the best for your children," Jennifer said. "And if you are considering raising these babies, I don't think Mel or Lindsey is in a position to fight you right now. But is that what you really want?"

"I don't know," Justin said. "And I don't know how Brian would take it if I did want that."

"Well," Jennifer said. "You can't make any decisions until you talk, and in the mean time you have the opportunity to spend time with your children. My grandchildren." Jennifer paused as that bit of information seemed to sink in. "Oh, shit, I'm a grandma."

Justin laughed at his mother's sudden revelation. "Come on, Grandma. I'll go introduce you to your grandsons."


	6. Chapter 6

**Part Six**

Brian called that night and Justin listened as he talked about Lindsey's condition and what the doctor's had said. They cleared her for transfer, but only if she was accompanied by one of their facility staff. Brian had spent the afternoon arranging the transport to a respected Pittsburgh facility and for a moving company to pack and store Melanie and Lindsey's home. Mel would spend part of the next day packing the necessities they would need for the coming weeks and those things were to be shipped to Britin.

"If this keeps up, I'm going to need to keep the movers on retainer," Brian sighed. "Did you manage to hire a nanny?"

"She's coming tomorrow," Justin said. "If she passes muster, I'll spend a couple hours at the loft getting things finished and moved. I've already called the movers and hired a couple laborers to help out."

"Good," Brian sighed and Justin could hear the rustle of sheet through the phone line. "Christ, I'm tired."

"Me too," Justin sighed and settled himself under the blankets of their bed. "I miss you."

"I miss you too," Brian said. There was a comfortable silence between them. "Justin, have you thought about all of this yet? What it will mean?"

"Yes," Justin sighed. "We have some decisions to make."

"I won't try to take Gus from Mel," Brian said. "And I know Mikey can't handle JR right now, so she'll definitely stay with Mel. But what about the twins? She never asked for them, and I'm not certain she can cope with them, even with a nanny and with the family around. She only speaks about Gus and JR. It's like the twins don't exist for her."

"How is she holding up?" Justin asked.

"She's barely hanging in," Brian said. "Fuck, I never thought I'd see the day when I felt bad for Melanie. Lindsey really fucked her over."

"Lindsey fucked us all over," Justin muttered, his anger at the woman just below the surface.

"What do you want to do, Justin?" Brian asked, bringing the subject back to the babies. "I'll support you whatever you decide."

"Really?" Justin asked. "Because it's one thing to take Gus for a weekend and another thing to have two infants taking over every aspect of our lives."

Brian was quiet. "It's not what I would have chosen, but I won't make you decide between me and your children. You've always supported my relationship with Gus."

"I just feel like this isn't fair," Justin said quietly. "Nobody seems to want them."

"You want them, don't you?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, I do."

"So we keep the twins," Brian said. "I'll talk to my lawyer tomorrow and see where we stand legally. And I'll discuss it with Melanie. As long as Lindsey is ill, Melanie has power of attorney. She'll sign over custody without a fight."

"But what if Lindsey wants them back when she gets well?" Justin asked.

"I don't think that will happen for quite some time," Brian sighed. "When and if it does, we'll have already established custody, and you, as the biological father, do have rights."

"You really think Mel will let them go?" Justin asked.

Brian said, "I think she already has. In her mind, those babies are just another symptom of Lindsey's problems. They aren't real to her, no matter how many diapers she changes."

"That's just…"

"Sad."

"Yeah," Justin said. "So you really are okay with having the babies here, with us?"

"We'll have a nanny, right?" Brian asked. "And your mother and Debbie will be beating down our doors to baby-sit. We'll be fine. And I don't think I'll mind that much. I missed a lot of Gus' life being a part-time dad. I wouldn't ask you to give that up. In fact, I'm sort of looking forward to some of it."

"Just not the late night feedings and diaper changes," Justin chuckled, relieved that Brian truly seemed to want the babies with them.

Brian ignored the remark and said, "We can give them stability and security."

"And love," Justin said.

"And love," Brian agreed. "We can do this. But only if you want it."

"I want it," Justin said and he felt a weight lift from his heart. "I want them."

"Then we are agreed," Brian said. "I'll call the lawyer tomorrow, and you start getting a nursery ready. After you get our shit from the loft. I want my wardrobe where I can look at it every morning."

"I know how much you must miss your labels," Justin said dryly before letting out a long yawn and closing his eyes.

"Justin?"

"Yeah?"

"I…"

"I know. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

The nanny, Sylvie, turned out to be a godsend. Debbie and Emmett had both gone home the night before, but Jennifer had stayed to help Justin through the night. Unfortunately, Jennifer had an early showing and Justin was left to deal with four children on his own for two hours before Sylvie had arrived. After that brief time, Justin was almost ready to give up on the idea of being a father to anyone.

"Let me guess," Sylvie smiled as she walked into the kitchen where the kids were all gathered for breakfast. "First time father?"

Justin nodded. "And feeling a little bit over my head, to be honest."

Gus and JR were covered in their breakfast cereal, as was the floor below them. The twins were screaming in their carriers. And Justin realized that he hadn't had time to shower or change out of his sweatpants. They must look a real treat. He was surprised the woman didn't run away screaming. Justin sighed and sent JR and Gus to their rooms to change clothes. Gus would help his sister.

"Oh, don't worry about it, honey," Sylvie said. "They wash. So does the floor. And you'll get the hang of things soon enough."

"Well, Gus and JR are only here for a few months," Justin said quietly. "Just until their Mama gets settled down. But the twins are mine. And they are staying."

"I won't ask how all that came about," Sylvie shrugged as she started putting formula into two bottles for the babies. "Ain't any of my business. Besides, I expect most families are a little different these days."

Justin smiled as he took one of the bottles and picked up Sam to feed him. "We are a little more different than most. Gus is my partner's son. Gus' mom is the mom to the twins. Their mom's partner is the mother of JR. And JR's dad is my partner's best friend."

"Sounds complicated," Sylvie shrugged. "I just have one man and three kids by him. He stuck around and he takes care of us. That's a real find these days. Though it looks like your man takes care of you, too."

Justin laughed. "He does. I'm an artist, which doesn't exactly pay the bills yet. But Brian is very successful. He owns his own advertising agency. Sylvie? I have to go to the loft for a couple hours, but when the kids are down for their naps today, can you help me put together a shopping list? Brian said that everything from their old home except clothes and a few toys was going into storage. JR and Gus have their rooms here, but I don't have anything set up for the babies. All we have for them is what fit into their diaper bags, really."

"Sure we can, honey," Sylvie said. "Babies need a lot of stuff, but we'll get them outfitted. Now, let's finish feeding these two so we can check up on those other two."

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

Brian and Mel returned on Friday, by which time Justin, Sylvie and the kids had established a routine of sorts. Justin spent much of his morning following Sylvie around, learning how to take care of the children, especially the twins. In the afternoons, while the younger three napped and Gus was settled in to watch a movie, Justin and Sylvie worked on getting the twins' room set up. Then, if there was still time before Sylvie left to pick up her children from school, Justin would paint for an hour or two.

When Brian and Mel came home, Justin was feeding all four kids their dinners in the kitchen. It was a lot less chaotic and messy than that first breakfast. Brian and Mel just stood in the doorway observing for a few minutes unnoticed.

"Justin?"

"Yes, JR?" Justin looked up from where he was feeding Eli his bottle.

"Babies like chicken nuggets?"

Justin laughed. "Honey, Sam and Eli don't have any teeth yet, so they can't chew the chicken nuggets."

"Oh, okay." JR went back to dipping her nugget in ketchup and licking the sauce off.

"Do I have to eat the carrots?" Gus asked, pushing the small orange discs around his plate.

"Yes," Justin said as he put Eli back into his swing before picking up Sam to feed him. "They're good for you. They help your eyes get stronger. And I didn't give you too many. I know they aren't your favorite."

Gus sighed but forked up a carrot. "If I finish them all, do I get dessert?"

"Cookies!" JR yelled enthusiastically.

Justin smiled. "Alright, you can each have a cookie for your bedtime snack. But you have to finish everything on your plates. Not just the ketchup, JR. And not before baths and pajamas. Deal?"

"Deal," the two children agreed somewhat reluctantly.

"It looks like you have everything here under control," Brian said from the doorway. "And I was worried you would be overwhelmed."

"Dad!" Gus yelled and rushed to give Brian a hug.

"Mama!" JR chimed in and left her place at the table as well.

For the next several minutes, chaos reigned in the kitchen while the children greeted their parents. Justin watched while he continued to feed the babies. He noticed that Mel didn't even look at the infants as she spoke quietly to Gus and JR.

"Gus, you heard what Justin told you," Mel was saying when Justin tuned back into the conversation. "No cookies until you finish your carrots and get ready for bed."

Gus pouted, "But Mama!"

"No buts," Mel scolded. "You'll do what Justin said, and after you have your snack, you, me and JR will go up for story time before bed. Okay?"

"Yeah," Gus said, a slight frown still marring his features.

Once all the children were fed, Mel took Gus and JR up to their rooms to get ready for their bedtime. Justin and Brian were alone with the twins, and Justin was taking a wet cloth to wipe away any formula or spit up. He was startled when Brian wrapped his arms around him from behind.

"I missed you," Brian whispered in Justin's ear as he nuzzled the younger man's neck.

Justin smiled and turned to face Brian. "I missed you too. These two should be ready for bed soon, and I'm sure Mel will want to take care of Gus and JR. Which means…"

"Which means we will be free to fuck like bunnies until these two wake up again," Brian grinned.

"Which won't be until midnight," Justin said.

"Well then, why don't we get these two into their jammies and get to bed," Brian leered.

Justin laughed and turned away from Brian before picking up Eli, "Did you hear that, little man? Daddy's gonna get fucked tonight. Brian, will you get Sam? They had their bath earlier so they should be all set once we change their diapers and put them into their sleep sacks."

Brian followed behind Justin with Sam in his arms, making silly faces at the squirming infant. "What is a sleep sack?"

"Oh, Sylvie recommended them," Justin said. "They are really cute and since infants can't really sleep with blankets, the sacks keep them nice and warm. They are sort of a cross between a nightgown and a sleeping bag. The twins seem to really like them. You'll see."

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

An hour later, Brian and Justin were curled around each other in their bed, recovering from their private reunion. Brian was spooned up behind Justin and rubbing soothing strokes on his arm. "I missed this," Brian said softly.

"I know," Justin teased. "Five days without sex must have seemed like an eternity."

"Fuck you."

"I think you just did."

"How you can be uncertain after the way you were begging by the end, I don't know," Brian retorted. "Besides, that's not what I meant." 

"What did you mean?" Justin asked, more serious now.

"I meant holding you," Brian said. "I meant sharing these private moments and talking."

"You mean cuddling?" Justin asked.

"I suppose," Brian reluctantly conceded. "There was so much happening while I was away, so many things I wanted to say to you, to share with you."

"I know," Justin sighed. "This week has been pretty tough. I baby-sat for Gus and JR when they were infants, but there are so many things I didn't know. Like the fact that keeping to a strict schedule with babies can help them sleep through the night, even as young as Sam and Eli are."

"Does that mean no two a.m. feeding?" Brian asked hopefully.

Justin nodded. "As long as we keep to the schedule and feed them at midnight, they should be okay until about six in the morning. They're still getting used to the schedule and might wake up occasionally, but overall, it seems to be working."

"I did notice the addition of a baby monitor to our décor," Brian said. "And their room has changed quite a bit since I left."

"Sylvie's been a godsend in more ways than one," Justin admitted as he rolled to face Brian. "She knows our situation, and she's been really great about everything, but I told her that she was primarily being hired to care for the twins. Gus needs to get back to school, and JR really should start preschool. Sylvie thinks she's in desperate need of socialization with children her age."

"Mel and I talked about that," Brian said. "And she spent some time this week on the phone with local schools. Gus will start on Monday and JR on Tuesday."

"Was Mel able to do any job hunting this week?" Justin asked.

Brian nodded. "She has two interviews set up for this week. She didn't have any luck with her old firm, but she developed a reputation as a very good litigator before she left. There are those that still remember her."

"Do you think she'll get one of them?"

"I think she'll have her pick of the two," Brian shrugged. "And she'll probably start work next week."

"She's that good?" Justin asked. He knew Mel had always helped when one of their circle needed legal counsel, but he'd never really thought about whether she was good at her job before.

"Yes, but I'll deny ever admitting it, so don't bother telling her I said so," Brian told his lover.

Justin laughed. "I wouldn't dream of it. Who would believe me if I did?" Justin paused for a minute as he gathered his thoughts. "How is Lindsey?"

Brian sighed. "She's… Well, she's doing as well as can be expected under the circumstances. At least that's what the doctors keep telling us. The patient transport service should have arrived at the hospital tonight. They've asked us to stay away for a few days while she settles into the new environment. They kept her pretty doped up all week, but she recognized me when I saw her."

"I feel bad for her," Justin said. "I feel bad for you and Mel, and the kids that you have to watch someone you love go through this. But I'm still just so damn angry with her at the same time."

"I know," Brian said and pulled Justin closer into his arms. "I talked to Mel about the twins. She seemed relieved that you want to take custody of them. When our lawyer finishes the paperwork, she'll sign. We've got an appointment with him on Friday."

"Good," Justin sighed. "I'll feel better once we have something in writing."

They laid there in silence for a time, basking in each other's presence, before Brian spoke again. "So, we've still got two hours before the twins wake up. How do you think we should spend them?"

"I've got an idea how YOU would like to spend the time," Justin smiled as he felt Brian's hardening cock nudging at his hip. "And I'm all for it."


	7. Chapter 7

**Part Seven**

Justin was glad to have Brian home, but he was quite busy making up for lost time at work over the weekend. In fact, the following week seemed to fly by in a frenzy of work and kids and school. Gus and JR both seemed to enjoy their new schools. Without them around the house, Sylvie could concentrate her time on the twins, which left Justin time to finally get some painting done. Mel was offered both jobs and took the one that would be most accommodating to her family responsibilities. By the time Friday came around, Justin felt like they had all accomplished a lot, but he missed being able to spend time alone with Brian.

At breakfast that morning Justin agreed to pick up Brian from work so they could go to the lawyer's together. Mel would meet them there, since she had an appointment with her new firm's HR person right before then. Mel took JR and Gus to school and Justin tried to occupy himself with painting, but his mind was on the coming meeting. After he pestered Sylvie for the sixth time in only an hour, she told him that he needed to get out of the house for a while. Since the twins had come, he had only ventured out twice, and one of those times it was with the babies.

Though he didn't need to pick Brian up until twelve thirty, Justin headed down to Liberty Avenue. After parking his SUV, he wandered around a little before ending up at the Diner.

"Sunshine!" Debbie greeted as soon as Justin walked through the door. "What are you doing here in the middle of the day? And how are those angels of yours?"

Justin smiled and sat in an empty booth before answering. "Sam and Eli are great. They're with Sylvie right now. She's been a lifesaver. She also kicked me out of the house for pestering her."

"You do need to get out more," Debbie agreed. "That Sylvie is a smart woman. You should listen to her. Now what can I get for you?"

"Just a milkshake," Justin said. "Brian and I have an afternoon meeting and we're having lunch together first."

Debbie looked Justin up and down, trying to judge if he was eating enough. "You've gained back some of the weight you lost in New York, but you could stand to gain a bit more. You'll have a sandwich too. You've got two hours to build up your appetite again."

Justin grinned, "Yes, Debbie."

Debbie wandered off to put his order in and make his milkshake, and Justin thought about his most recent trip to the doctor. His iron levels were back up into the normal range, and he had gained almost ten pounds since returning to Pittsburgh. The doctor said he should probably put on another ten pounds, but he was pleased with Justin's progress. He had even cleared Justin to start back at the gym. Of course, Justin's life had turned upside down over the past two weeks and he hadn't been able to go yet. Perhaps that was what he should have done that morning.

"So what are you and Brian up to today?" Debbie asked as she set Justin's milkshake and sandwich in front of him and took the seat across from him.

"We're meeting with our lawyer and Mel," Justin said. "We're going to sign the custody papers today."

"So that's why you're so anxious," Debbie said. "You've gotta know it'll all work out okay, Sunshine."

Justin shook his head. "There are so many things that could happen. Not so much today, but because Mel is acting on Lindsey's behalf. What if Lindsey demands the babies back when she's better? What if it turns into this huge battle? I may not have asked for Sam and Eli, but I can't imagine my life without them now. The papers we're signing today will give me some rights, but they aren't a guarantee for the future."

"Honey, there ain't no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to life," Debbie sighed. "Parents worry about their children from before they are born until… well, until forever. But you can't let those worries rule your life, or the time you have with your children will always have a black cloud over it. Love those babies with everything you have, and let the future work itself out. You can't know how Lindsey will react until she's in her right mind again."

The talk turned to lighter subjects after that, but Justin continued to mull over Debbie's advice for the rest of the morning. When he went to pick up Brian, Justin was in a much better frame of mind. They couldn't predict what might happen in the future, but they could prepare for it, which was what they were doing. And Brian, despite all expectations, had become enamored of the twins over the past week. He would make sure that they weren't hurt. That's what Brian did for the people he loved. Even when those same people didn't realize they needed his help.

"You look happy," Brian said as he climbed into the passenger seat of Justin's SUV. "What did you do this morning?"

"I was told to go out and stop pestering Sylvie, so I went window shopping and then had a snack at the diner," Justin said.

"And Debbie, in her own unique way, got you to quit obsessing?" Brian guessed.

"Yeah," Justin agreed. "She did."

"Good," Brian said. "Let's go to Station Square for lunch."

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

Lunch turned into a mini shopping spree. Brian, having spotted a designer shop that catered to babies, was immediately sidetracked from their original purpose. Despite Justin's protests, they walked out of the store with several bags of clothes and accessories for the twins and only had time for a quick sandwich before leaving for the lawyer's office. Once there, they found Mel waiting in the reception area.

"I was beginning to think you weren't coming," Mel groused.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Brian countered.

"Mr. Kinney," the receptionist said, gaining everyone's attention and preventing further sniping between the two rivals. "Mr. Jones asked me to show you to the conference room. He'll join you all there shortly."

They all followed the pretty young woman through the corridor to the conference room and quickly took their seats. Justin noticed a pitcher of water on a sideboard and rose to pour himself a glass. Despite everyone's reassurances, he was still nervous.

"Brian, it's good to see you," Anthony Jones said as he came into the room and shook Brian's hand before turning to Mel. "And Ms. Marcus. I hear that you'll be joining Patterson, Pruitt and Rogers very soon."

"Word certainly gets around," Mel said wryly.

The handsome young attorney turned to Justin next. "And you must be Justin. Brian has spoken of you often. I'm Anthony."

"Nice to meet you," Justin said, holding out his hand. They shook hands before Anthony gestured for them all to retake their seats.

"So, shall we get started? I've got the copies of the power of attorney for Lindsey Peterson, giving Melanie Marcus control in situation of incapacitation or mental illness. I've also received the affidavit from both the Toronto hospital and the Pittsburgh facility currently treating Ms Peterson. Those will be filed along with the papers we sign today, granting custody to Justin Taylor until such time as Ms Peterson is declared fit by a certified psychiatric professional to be a parent. At that time, the matter of custody will be re-evaluated, with the understanding that Justin Taylor will retain, at the very least, shared custody of Eli and Sam Peterson."

"Taylor," Mel said softly. "Elijah Scott Taylor and Samuel John Taylor. Those are the names Lindsey gave them. That's what's on their birth certificates."

"Noted," Anthony said. "I'll have that corrected."

For the next half hour, they went through the document line by line, making a few corrections and making sure that everyone understood the terms of the agreement. When they were finished, Anthony left the room to bring the corrections to a paralegal to correct and reprint the document. It only took another fifteen minutes before he returned with the new papers. They scanned through them again, checking to make sure everything was correct, before signing on the various pages Anthony indicated. His paralegal notarized the signatures and Mel and Justin were each given a copy, with Anthony retaining one copy and the final copy to be filed with the hall of records.

Mel stood up and shook Anthony's hand. "Thank you for your help."

"You are very welcome," Anthony smiled. "I look forward to meeting you across the courtroom again soon, but it was nice actually working on the same side for once."

"It was," Mel smiled and turned to Brian and Justin. "Are you coming?"

"We actually have one or two other things to discuss with Anthony first," Brian said.

"We do?" Justin asked.

Brian ignored his lover and said to Mel, "Debbie agreed to spend the night and help out with the kids. We won't be back until morning."

"Okay then," Mel smirked. "Have fun."

"Brian?" Justin asked after Mel left, still confused.

"I'll explain later," Brian assured before turning back to a grinning Anthony. "You have the other documents we talked about?"

"I've had them for almost a month now," Anthony said. "I've just been waiting for you to get around to telling Justin about them. Apparently you still haven't gotten around to it."

"Fuck you," Brian muttered.

"What other documents?" Justin asked Anthony, since it was clear that Brian wasn't going to explain.

"A while back, Brian contacted me and asked that I draw up a partnership contract," Anthony said. "This contract would fuse all current and future assets for Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor, both personal and business."

"So I would own half of Kinnetik?" Justin asked.

"As a silent partner. You would also own half of the house, the loft, etc." Anthony agreed. "And he would own half of your holdings, including but not limited to the future sale of your artwork."

Justin nodded thoughtfully before turning to Brian. "Why?"

Brian shrugged. "We're partners."

"And this makes it legal," Justin said, understanding.

"I told you I wouldn't ask a second time," Brian said defensively. "Besides, this is better."

Justin nodded again and turned to Anthony, "Okay. What do we need to do?"

They spent another two hours going over the partnership contract and setting up wills before reviewing their powers of attorney and medical proxies. By the time they were finished, and everything was signed, it was past time for dinner. They left Anthony's office and went to dinner at one of Pittsburgh's best restaurants, located on the top of Mount Washington with a view of the entire downtown.

Once they were seated in a semi-private booth, Brian ordered champagne for them both and when it was served turned to Justin and said, "Here's to us."

"And to our future together," Justin added as he touched his flute to Brian's. After sipping the champagne, Justin eyed Brian for a minute before saying. "Don't think I don't know what today was really about."

Brian gave Justin a confused look. "What?"

"You just tied me to you tighter than if we had gotten married," Justin smirked. "It will be much more complicated for us to dissolve our partnership than it would be to get a divorce."

Brian returned Justin's smirk. "That is true. Call it incentive to keep us from making another mistake like the one we made two years ago."

Justin smiled, "I'm not sure I needed the incentive, but I'm glad we did it."

"And when you become the nation's most famous and sought after artist in decades, I'll be able to retire and become your kept man."

"I'll drink to that," Justin laughed.

Dinner was as delicious as one would expect from a five star restaurant, but Justin's favorite part was the small cake which Brian had arranged to be served for dessert. The man who claimed not to have a sentimental bone in his body even had two groom figures placed on top of the small white cake and insisted that they feed each other the first bite. Justin held a forkful of the confection up for Brian to taste, which he neatly did. Then Brian held up a bite for Justin, but when Justin went to eat it, Brian smeared the cake over Justin's lips and chin. Before Justin could really protest the move, Brian leaned forward and began to lick and kiss the sweet icing from Justin's lips and chin.

Once they broke apart, Justin asked why Brian had done it. "Tradition," Brian smirked. "And sweet always tastes better with just a little saltiness." He held up another bite for Justin, who watched him warily before accepting the forkful of cake.

After dinner, Brian drove them to the best hotel in town. Their room was on the fourteenth floor and looked out at Mount Washington and the Point. Not that they paid much attention to the view. After making love for hours, they lay in bed together cuddling.

"Thank you," Justin said sleepily.

"For what?"

"For this," Justin smiled against Brian's bare chest. "Weddings are nice, but I liked our private celebration even better."

"We never did make any vows," Brian said, "so you can't really call it a wedding."

"We could make our vows now," Justin said and sat up. He held Brian's hand in both of his and looked into his eyes. "I, Justin, promise to love you, Brian, for the rest of my life, no matter how much shit we go through."

Brian sat up slowly and held Justin's hands. "I, Brian, promise to love you, Justin, no matter how much shit we go through. And I promise to always stop and consider how my decisions will affect us both."

"I promise to be as tolerant and forgiving as I can be when you make mistakes and forget to do that." Justin smiled.

"I'll try not to get annoyed by the little inconveniences that come with living with you," Brian said with a smirk.

"And I'll try to tolerate your controlling tendencies," Justin retorted.

"I'll do my utmost to protect our family: you, me, Gus and the twins primarily, but also our extended family," Brian said sincerely.

Justin nodded and swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. "I'll do my best to do the same."

"So it's a deal?" Brian asked, trying to lighten the mood once more.

"It's a deal," Justin nodded. They sealed their vows with a kiss and laid back down, wrapped in each other's arms. "Does this mean I get a ring?" Justin asked and hid his grin in Brian's neck.

Brian choked back his first words and sighed. "I suppose."

"And will you wear one too?"

Brian huffed. "If I must. But I get to pick them both out."

"Deal," Justin smile and leaned up to kiss Brian again. "You have better taste in jewelry than I do, anyway."

"Debbie's not expecting us back until after lunch tomorrow," Brian said. "I suppose we could look before we go home."


	8. Chapter 8

**Part Eight**

"We're home," Justin called out as they entered the foyer the next afternoon. Mel and Gus came out of the den where the video game console was located to greet them.

"Debbie just took the twins and JR up for their naps," Mel told Justin while Brian hugged Gus and listened to his excited tales of conquest over the latest video game. "How was your evening?"

"Fabulous," Justin grinned.

"That good, huh?" Mel asked curiously.

"Words cannot describe," Justin confirmed.

Gus went back to his game and the adults all went into the living room and were just sitting down when Debbie joined them. "The babies are all sleeping like little angels."

"JR is hardly a baby anymore," Mel sighed. "I swear sometimes she can be a handful."

"Take it from me," Debbie said sagely, "She's still a baby. And she'll continue to be your baby even when she's a grown woman and out on her own."

"I hope so," Mel smiled.

"How was your evening out?" Debbie asked Justin. "Brian wouldn't give me any details. He only said he thought you'd like a night on the town after being cooped up in the house for the last couple of weeks."

Justin looked to Brian to gauge how he should respond. Brian just shrugged in response to the unasked question and fingered his ring. In the end, Justin didn't have to decide what to say because Mel and Debbie, who were watching the interplay noticed the way Brian was fiddling with the new ring.

"Is that a ring on your finger?" Debbie asked.

Brian held up his hand and looked at the ring with surprise. "It certain looks like a ring. How did that get there?"

"Brian Kinney," Debbie said in irritation. "None of that shit. Just answer the fucking question."

"It's a ring, Deb," Brian said.

"And there's one on Justin's finger as well," Mel said. "A little different, more ornamentation, but it certainly looks similar."

It was true. Brian had opted for a simple platinum band with a Celtic design etched into it, while Justin's was of a similar design but incorporated several small diamonds.

"Did you two…?" Debbie asked.

"We are partners in every way that counts," Brian shrugged. "But we didn't get married, if that's what you are wondering."

"We signed legal documents, made promises, ate cake and drank champagne," Justin added.

"Sounds like a fucking wedding to me," Mel muttered.

"And you didn't invite any of us?" Debbie asked, hurt coloring her tone.

"Well, the last time we tried something along these lines, all we got was grief from our friends and family," Brian rationalized. "I figured we were better off just getting it over with and presenting it as a fait acompli."

Debbie frowned but nodded. "Fine, but you had better call your mother Sunshine."

"Shit," Justin muttered. "That's one way to kill a good mood."

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

"Justin!" Brian shouted as he entered the master suite after work one Friday evening a few weeks later.

Justin poked his head out of their closet and smiled. The smile faded as he noticed the look on Brian's face. "What?"

"Did you tell your mother and Debbie that they could throw us a wedding reception?" Brian asked, his arms crossed and a frown on his face.

"What?" Justin asked in alarm as he came out of the closet holding a blue button down shirt and wearing jeans low on his hips. "I never agreed to that!"

"Well, apparently, they think you did," Brian huffed. "I just got off the phone with your mother. She and Debbie are planning some sort of reception for our supposed wedding. Don't they know we aren't married?"

"As far as they are concerned, we are," Justin sighed. "They see our partnership as the closest thing to marriage as we'll ever get."

"It is," Brian said. "But the point of doing it the way we did was to avoid all this sentimentality. So if you didn't agree to this thing, what did you agree to?"

"A housewarming party," Justin shrugged. "I figured it was a good compromise. I knew they would insist on celebrating something. I'll talk to my mom and Debbie, see if I can reign in their need to go overboard."

Brian nodded and began changing into sweatpants. "Where are the kids?"

"Mom has the twins for the night, and Mel took Gus and JR to visit Lindsey," Justin said. "Then they are staying the night with Mel's cousin."

"So we have the house to ourselves for the night?" Brian asked with interest.

Justin grinned. "We do."

"Now that is something to celebrate."

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

"We need a color scheme," Jennifer said. Debbie and Justin were sitting at Jennifer's kitchen table a few days later. They had gathered in order to discuss the upcoming housewarming party.

"Why do we need a color scheme?" Justin asked.

"How else will we know what color linens and flowers to get?" Debbie asked as if Justin was being dense.

"I thought we talked about this," Justin sighed. "This isn't a wedding reception. It's a housewarming. If you actually want Brian and me to show up to this thing, you need to remember that."

"Justin!" Jennifer scolded. "I can't believe you would do something like that! We just want to celebrate with you."

"Then celebrate what is important," Justin said. "The fact that we have chosen to share our lives by living together is more important than those documents. That's why we didn't make a big deal about it."

"You mean that's why Brian didn't make a big deal of it," Debbie said dryly. "He didn't even tell you ahead of time. A commitment like that is more than just a business deal, it deserves more than a trip to the lawyer and a night in a hotel."

Justin smiled fondly at the memory of that evening. "It was special. But it was also very personal. And I may not have known about it ahead of time, but if it wasn't what I had wanted, I would have said so. We celebrated the way we both wanted to celebrate. We didn't want a big party. The only reason I agreed to the housewarming party is that I knew you would want a way to celebrate. But you can't turn this into a wedding. We don't want a wedding."

"Two years ago you wanted a wedding," Jennifer pointed out gently as she set down a tea tray with cookies on the table and sat beside Justin.

"Two years ago, we allowed our family and friends to talk us out of making a commitment to each other," Justin said coolly.

"Is that what this is about?" Debbie asked. "Are you punishing us for not jumping up and down with excitement when you two came out of nowhere with that announcement?"

"No," Justin sighed. "It's not like that. But that experience taught us that we needed to do what was right for us, and not allow others to dictate our relationship. And that's what we have done. Now, if you want to celebrate with us, we are happy to do that, but I'm asking you to please respect our feelings about this. Please."

"Oh, Sunshine."

"Alright Justin," Jennifer said with resignation. "We'll do it your way. But you can't stop me from thinking of this party the way I want."

Justin chuckled. "I'm well aware of that fact. In fact, you are welcome to think of it however you want, just keep the traditional wedding stuff out of it."

"So, no table linens or seating charts," Jennifer said.

"No wedding cake," Debbie sighed.

"And no huge guest list," Justin added. "Just family and close friends."

"Anybody we should invite besides the regular crowd?" Jennifer asked, pulling a pad a paper and pen to take notes.

"Brian's assistant Cynthia," Justin said. "And since it is a housewarming party, we should invite Jan, our decorator. And Sylvie."

"All plus ones?" Jennifer asked.

"Of course," Justin agreed

"What about the caterer?" Jennifer asked.

"I'm not sure," Justin said. "If we're going to keep this thing fairly informal, we should probably do a buffet with plenty of finger foods."

"Canapés, hors d'ouvres, that sort of thing?" Jennifer asked.

"Baked brie and finger sandwiches too," Justin said. "We should have a big selection of desserts."

"I'll call the caterer we use for special events at work," Jennifer said. "They are quite good with this sort of casual party."

"What about decorations?" Debbie asked.

"I think a few flowers and simple decorations would be nice," Justin said. "If Mom is handling the caterer, maybe you and I could go see the florist together, Debbie."

"I'd like that," Debbie smiled.

"We'll need to rent a few extra chairs and I'll schedule an extra cleaning with our service," Justin said.

"We can go pick out invitations after lunch," Jennifer said. "Then Debbie and I will handle getting them sent out. What about drinks?"

"I'll talk to Brian," Justin said. "I think he'll want to have an open bar rather than try and mix drinks ourselves all night. We'll need to make sure the caterer can handle that and if they can't, we'll hire it out separately."

"What about music?" Debbie asked.

"I'll hire a string quartet," Jennifer said. "Unless you want something more upbeat, Justin?"

"No that will be fine," Justin agreed. "If you want to go get the invitations today, we should probably eat lunch soon and go. Sylvie has to pick up her kids today, so I need to be home by two thirty."

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

The night of the party, Brian stood to the side of the living room with Eli in his arms watching their friends and family mingling. Justin, carrying Sam, came over to join him.

"How did you get them to agree to a cocktail party?" Brian smirked.

"Emotional Blackmail," Justin said dryly. "I reminded them how they ruined our wedding two years ago."

"That's cold," Brian chuckled. "I'm so proud of you."

"Did you notice the cake?" Justin asked.

"The three tiered strawberry cheesecake that looks suspiciously like a wedding cake?" Brian asked. "Yes, I noticed. I expected they would do something like that. I'm just glad that's all they did."

Just then, Sylvie came over and offered to take the twins up and put them to bed. Justin gave a token protest, but Brian smiled and thanked her before handing over Eli. Justin carried Sam upstairs before leaving Sylvie to take care of the babies.

"Thank you," he smiled. "You really didn't have to do this. You are supposed to be our guest tonight."

"Pish," Sylvie said. "You've got plenty of guests down there to keep you busy and I love taking care of these babies. Now go so I can get them settled in for the night."

Justin laughed and went back to the living room where the party was going strong. Brian was in one corner talking with Michael and Ben. Jennifer and Debbie were discussing the décor with Jan. Ted, Blake, and Emmett were hovering near the bar, and Emmett was flirting shamelessly with the bartender. Mel and Sylvie's husband were talking with Jennifer's new love interest. Cynthia and her date were dancing. Justin smiled at them before walking over to Brian. Without a word, he grabbed Brian's hand and dragged him over to the makeshift dance floor. Soon others were joining them. Even Mel and Emmett took a turn around the floor. 

It was around midnight, as most of their friends were getting ready to go home, when the door chime sounded. Justin, confused, went to the door and opened it. When he saw who was standing there, he froze.

"Hello Justin," Tom sneered. "Nice place you have here. But I wouldn't expect any less from a whore of your caliber."

There was a sudden silence in the foyer behind Justin and he knew that Tom's words had carried.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Justin hissed, keeping his body between Tom and the door.

Tom leaned forward to stroke Justin's cheek. "I came to see my favorite whore. Aren't you glad to see me?"

A hand reached out from behind Justin and grasped Tom's wrist before twisting it painfully. "I would appreciate it if you kept your hands to yourself," Brian growled. "Otherwise you might just lose them."

Tom looked over Justin's shoulder and glared at Brian. "You must be Brian. I must say, I'm impressed. I wouldn't expect a man your age would be able to afford a piece of ass like Justin."

"Justin, why don't you go inside?" Brian said, stepping between Justin and Tom.

"No, I'm not going to run away from this asshole," Justin said with determination.

"Like you didn't run away before?" Tom taunted.

"What the fuck do you want?" Justin demanded.

"I just came to see you Justin," Tom said with a falsely innocent smile. "I missed you."

"Bullshit," Justin said, barely keeping his calm. "Now what do you really want?"

Tom looked between Brian and Justin. "You certainly get all uppity now that you have a new man to pay the bills."

"Everything okay out here?" Michael asked from the door. Emmett and Ted were standing right behind him.

"Everything is fine," Justin muttered.

"Could you ask everyone to wait just a few minutes and we'll be in to say goodnight," Brian said. Michael looked at him and nodded, reading the unspoken message. Brian wanted them to distract the others and get them away from the door until they dealt with their unwanted visitor. Michael herded the other two away from the door and shut it behind them. Once they were alone, Brian turned back to Tom. "Say what you came to say and then get out, before I call the cops to complain about a trespasser. The security in our little neighborhood never has enough to do. I'm sure they'd be happy to swing by."

"No need to get testy," Tom said with the smugness of a man who thought he had the upper hand. "I just came to get what is mine. What Justin owes me."

"I don't owe you a fucking thing!" Justin denied.

"You forget little boy," Tom sneered. "We had an agreement and you reneged on it."

"What fucking agreement?" Brian asked.

"You want to tell him or should I," Tom smirked.

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about," Justin said coldly.

Tom reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out what looked like a cocktail napkin with writing on it. He handed it to Brian. Brian and Justin both looked at the old napkin and read what was written there. "I, Justin Taylor, promise to repay Tom Webster for his generosity, whether by cash or a percentage of my painting sales."

"This is very flimsy," Brian snorted and handed the napkin back. "There are no terms specified, no payment calendar, no definition of what generosity constitutes, no actual percentages listed. What makes you think we'll actually honor this scrap of nothing?"

Tom looked at Justin. "It will hold up, because Justin may be a whore, but he likes to think he's noble."

Brian grabbed Tom by the throat and shoved him against the porch column. "I've had about enough of this shit. I didn't go after you in New York because Justin asked me not to. I didn't ask him to press charges against you, because I knew he just wanted to let the whole thing drop. But you come here, to our home, demanding money and calling my husband a whore…well, my patience with you is just about up."

Justin held Brian's arm, not to stop him, but to try and calm him down, "Brian. Please. Don't do this."

"Justin," Brian growled as he slammed Tom into the post again. "This fucking animal hurt you. More than once. I'm not going to let him come in here and hurt you again, damn it!"

"He can't hurt me," Justin said. "His words, this bullshit contract…none of that can hurt me anymore. He is nothing. Let him go. Please."

Brian hesitated but eventually released Tom with another shove. "I suggest you get the fuck out of here, Webster. If you want to pursue this contract, you can do so through our lawyer. If I find out that you have come near this house or my husband again, I'll have restraining order out on you before you can blink. Do I make myself clear?"

"Fuck you," Tom snarled. "And you can guarantee I'll be in touch. Justin owes me, and I'll get what's mine one way or the other." With that, he stomped down the walk and got into his car. The car door slammed and his tires spun as he backed out of the overcrowded circular driveway.

Brian pulled Justin into his arms as he watched the car speed away. Justin had stood strong against both Tom and Brian's runaway temper, but he was shaking now. "Come on, let's go inside. You go up to bed and I'll send the nosey ones away for the night. I'll join you in a few minutes."

"They probably heard some of what was said," Justin sighed tiredly. "They'll have questions."

"Their questions can wait," Brian said. "At least until we've had a good night's sleep and some time to discuss everything, okay?" Justin nodded and Brian led him into the house.

Their friends and family weren't all standing in the foyer, as Justin had feared. In fact, Michael had done a good job of corralling them back into the living room. Justin could hear snippets of quiet conversation, but he ignored it. Instead he gave Brian's hand a squeeze, accepted the kiss to his forehead and headed for the stairs.

Brian watched Justin disappear and took a deep breath before entering the living room. It took him nearly half an hour to convince everyone that Justin was fine, that Tom was nobody they needed to concern themselves over and that he and Justin had dealt with the situation. He did not give details, despite both Jennifer and Debbie's hounding.

Emmett hung back from the crowd and waited to speak to Brian alone. Mel went up to bed and Emmett followed Brian to the kitchen.

"When Justin came back to town, I asked him about his older lover from New York," Emmett said, watching Brian carefully. Brian had his back to Emmett, grabbing a beer from the fridge, but Emmett could see the tension in Brian's shoulders increase and slight pause in his motions before he turned around. "Justin didn't want to talk about it, and I let it go at the time, but that man tonight, that was him wasn't it?"

Brian glared at Emmett but nodded once.

"He hurt Justin," Emmett stated. "More than just a few nasty words or broken promises could do."

Again Brian nodded.

"I thought so," Emmett sighed. "If I hadn't thought so before, the way he froze tonight, and then he flinched when that guy touched him…Is he okay?"

"He will be," Brian said.

"I know he probably doesn't want anyone to know," Emmet said, "but let him know that if he needs to talk, I'm here for him. I went through something similar before I came to Pittsburgh. It's part of why I ended up here. Anyway, I haven't told anyone what I suspected, and I won't share this either."

"I appreciate that." Brian said. "I'm sure Justin will too."

"Well, I guess I better let you go take care of our boy, then," Emmett said with a small smile. "Tell him to call me, please. Even if he doesn't want to talk…I've missed him."

"I will," Brian said. He waited for Emmett to leave before throwing his empty bottle at the fireplace and listening to the satisfying sound of shattering glass. He thought he was protecting Justin by taking him away from New York, but the bastard just followed them. Well, he wasn't going to allow that fucking maggot to hurt Justin again. In any way. Because no matter what Justin had said outside, Brian knew that Tom's very existence hurt him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Part Nine**

Brian and Justin didn't have time to talk the next day until the babies went down for their naps. It was probably just as well, since it gave them both time to consider the situation calmly. When they did finally talk, Brian insisted that they get naked and go to bed. He claimed they always communicated better that way. Justin chuckled but didn't disagree. Which was how they found themselves cuddled up in bed together, but neither man talked for the longest time.

"I've been wracking my brain since last night," Justin finally said. "I can't seem to come up with anything we can do to fight him."

"Which is why you have me," Brian said as he kissed the top of Justin's head. "I've already spoken with Anthony this morning. First of all, he agrees with me. That napkin is worthless when it comes to a contract. If, on the off chance that a judge might consider it a verbal agreement, we can argue that Webster broke faith, and therefore voided the agreement."

"How did he break faith?" Justin asked. "He gave me a roof over my head and provided for my needs. He fulfilled his end of the bargain."

"No he didn't," Brian disagreed. "One of the basic needs of life is safety. His part of the bargain, if we must consider it that, was to provide your needs. You needed security, and he failed to provide that."

"I'm not going to court and telling everyone that he beat the shit out of me," Justin denied.

"You won't have to," Brian assured. "I doubt it will get past Anthony and his lawyer hashing it out. We probably won't even need to be there."

"Anthony can handle something like this?" Justin asked. "Because he seemed so…"

"Nice?" Brian smirked. "Ask Mel. Anthony is a shark. He'll chew this guy up and spit him out. That's why he charges as much as he does."

"Tom's not exactly poor," Justin said. "He could hire a fancy New York attorney."

"He could," Brian said. "But I doubt he will. This isn't a business contract. This is a domestic agreement. Most respectable lawyers won't touch it, except for divorce lawyers. And even they would advise that he would need to be able to prove that he upheld his end of the agreement. The first hint of abuse, and they'll back down."

"You really think so?" Justin asked.

"I know so," Brian assured. "And if I didn't know it before, my conversation with Anthony this morning was enlightening. Feel better?"

"Mostly," Justin sighed. "I won't feel completely better until he's out of my life for good."

Brian hesitated for a minute before saying, "Emmett stayed after everyone else left last night. He said he recognized your responses to Webster. He wants you to know he's been through it and if you want to talk, he'll listen. He also said that if you don't want to talk about it, he still wants you to call. He misses you."

Justin grimaced. "I haven't really had time for Emmett lately. With the twins and everything going on, I haven't seen him since he brought Deb out and helped watch the kids. I'm always trying to get in a few hours of work while Sylvie is here. We haven't spent any time alone since just after I got back."

"You need to get out more," Brian said. "Take the twins with you. I'm sure Emmett would love to have them along. Or have him come here. You need friends and a life outside these walls."

"You're right, I do," Justin agreed. He shifted his leg over Brian's and trailed his hand over his lover's tight abdomen. "Are we finished discussing? Because I'm ready for the other thing we do best naked in bed."

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

Justin had settled the twins in their carriers and put them into his SUV. He loaded the dual stroller into the back, along with a diaper bag filled with necessities, and finally was ready to leave the house with his sons. It was the first time he was taking them out on his own and he was more than a little nervous. He needed more paint supplies and there was no one around to watch the boys. Brian was working, despite it being Saturday, and Mel had taken Gus and JR house hunting. So Justin had timed his outing carefully so that the boys would sleep for most of the outing, and he would take them to the diner to meet Emmett for lunch when they woke up.

Unfortunately, things did not go exactly as planned. The twins had slept well enough in the car on the way to the store, but they woke when he tried to transfer them to the stroller. After that, one or both were fussy then entire time in the store. Justin had to rush through his selections and apologized many times to the cringing sales clerk. While he was out, however, Justin decided that he would stop at Kinnetik, since he still had about an hour before he needed to meet Emmett, and the twins always seemed to settle down for Brian. After a quick diaper change, they were on their way to Brian's office.

As soon as he walked through the front door, Justin knew he had made a mistake. The usually busy office seemed to freeze, though there weren't nearly as many people present as there might have been during the week. Not only had Justin not been in since his return, but he was pushing a stroller with two babies in it. Obviously, Brian had not shared the changes in their personal life with his staff.

"Justin!" Cynthia grinned when she spotted him as she exited Brian's office. "I was wondering when you and these little guys would be in to visit. Brian is such a scrooge. I keep asking when he's going to bring in pictures, but you know how he is."

Justin grinned in return, feeling a little more comfortable as the other employees went back to their jobs. "Actually, we haven't had much time for pictures. Just getting adjusted to having two infants around has been a full-time job."

"No pictures?" Cynthia sounded appalled as she bent over the babies to make faces at them. Eli giggled, but Sam eyed her warily.

"Well, we have few," Justin admitted. "I'll frame a couple and sneak them into Brian's attaché case. After that, it'll be up to you to make sure they get where they belong."

"If Brian doesn't put them up, I will," Cynthia said conspiratorially. "But between you and me, I don't think I'll need to do it. Brian may not talk about them to everyone here, but I can tell he dotes on these boys as much as he does Gus."

This made Justin feel infinitely better, though he hadn't realized he'd worried about that. "Thanks, Cynthia. Is he free?"

"He was just finishing up with a conference call," Cynthia said but glanced at the lights on her phone. "But it looks like he's off now. Go on in."

When Justin entered Brian's office, he was hurriedly typing. Justin presumed he was putting down his notes from the conference call. He paused in the doorway for a moment while Brian finished. Minutes later, Brian looked up and smiled when he realized that Justin was there with the babies.

"Hey you," Brian said. "What brings you here?"

"We were just out buying art supplies before we meet Emmett for lunch," Justin said. "These two were being royal pains in the ass, so I decided to see if they would settle down for you."

Brian rounded his desk and squatted down in front of the stroller. "What's this? You aren't giving your papa a hard time, are you?" For the next several minutes, Brian held a one-sided conversation with the twins. It didn't take long at all before both babies were giggling and cooing at Brian. Brian leaned in and gave each boy a kiss before standing up and giving their papa a kiss as well. "There you go, happy babies."

"Happy papa, too," Justin smiled. "Do you have time to join us for lunch?"

Brian frowned. "Unfortunately no. I've got another conference call in a few minutes. But if that goes well, I should be able to get out of here early. We're very close to getting the Morison account."

Justin nodded. "Well, if you get done early, stop by the diner. We may still be there. Otherwise, we'll see you at home later."

Emmett was holding a table for them when Justin and the twins arrived at the diner a few minutes later. Emmett immediately picked up Sam, and as soon as Debbie noticed their arrival she took Eli from Justin. For the next hour and a half, Justin and Emmett laughed and played with the twins while they ate and fed the babies in turn and Debbie hovered. They were just getting the boys back into the stroller when Brian came into the diner.

"Hey, how's my family?" Brian asked as he kissed Justin's cheek.

"Just finished a rather active lunch," Justin smiled. "They should be ready to nap as soon as we get to the car."

"Good," Brian leered. "That will give us a little time to get some new clothes for them before we take them to the photographer."

Justin's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "What photographer?"

Brian shrugged. "After I got an earful from Cynthia, I called in a favor from one of the photographers we work with. She's great with babies and children, and she's expecting us at three."

"So now they need new outfits for their first portraits?" Justin asked in amusement. "I think Cynthia would have been happy with a couple snapshots in whatever they happened to be wearing."

Brian ignored Justin for a minute while he ordered and paid for a sandwich to go, then he turned back to his partner. "Perhaps, but it got me thinking. Your mom will want pictures."

"And don't forget me," Debbie put in.

"And Uncle Emmett," Emmet said helpfully.

"Exactly," Brian said with exasperation. "With all these people clamoring for pictures of the twins, I just thought it would be easier to get them taken and pass them out, instead of trying to find decent snapshots and printing them ourselves."

"Then, by all means, let's get new outfits for the boys," Justin said with amusement. While Brian accepted his sandwich from the server, Justin bent down to check on the twins and found that they were already asleep. "Did you have any particular store in mind?"

"Let's go," Brian said with a roll of his eyes.

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

The photographer was great with the boys, and Brian kept them happy and laughing through the entire ordeal. The outfits that Brian had chosen for the boys were cute, but Brian had vetoed the idea of dressing them in identical outfits. He had also insisted that they needed more than one outfit. They would want to have a selection of pictures to choose from. Justin chuckled at the way Brian was treating this simple part of parenting like an advertising campaign.

Each time they changed the babies, Justin was amazed at how detail oriented Brian was. The first outfits had been little pinstriped baseball uniforms. Sam's had blue pinstripes and a blue cap, while Eli wore a green jersey with white pants and a green cap. The photographer had used a baseball field as a backdrop, and Brian had pulled out a tiny baseball glove, a bat and a ball for the boys to hold. Luckily the twins had seemed to enjoy all the attention and giggled madly while Brian posed them and moved them into the positions he wanted.

The next pictures were taken with the boys in front of a farm backdrop. Brian had picked out little overalls for the boys, complete with little bandanas around Eli's neck and a straw hat on Sam's head. The photographer set out little stuffed farm animals and placed hay around them.

Next, they were in rompers, the way Justin usually dressed them. Brian set them in a playpen the Photographer had and they let the boys play with a few of their favorite toys while capturing candid shots of the boys.

The final setting was a little more formal. Brian had found cute black sweaters, each slightly different in style, and black chinos for the boys. The photographer took a few pictures of the babies in front of a plain gray backdrop before nodding to Brian. Brian turned to Justin and handed him a bag that Justin hadn't noticed before. Inside were his black chinos and a black turtleneck sweater. Justin looked at Brian and realized that Brian was wearing a black v-neck sweater and black chinos. This time Justin did laugh.

"Just go change," Brian said before Justin could make a comment. "Mel should be here any minute with Gus and they only have twenty minutes before they have to leave to have dinner at Michael's."

"Yes sir," Justin chuckled and dutifully went to the restroom to change his clothes.

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

"I still can't believe Brian set this all up," Mel said a few weeks later as she and Justin looked through the photos the photographer had sent to them. Mel was staring rather intently at one of them all in the black sweaters. "Brian Kinney, family man. It's fucking inconceivable."

"Yeah, but you have to admit, he still has style," Justin chuckled. "Who else would buy designer labels for infants?"

"You could be posing for a politically correct fashion ad," Mel laughed.

"This is the one Brian wants to hang in the living room," Justin said, pointing to a photo. In it, Brian was smirking, Justin was laughing, they each held one of the giggling twins, and Gus was holding onto Brian, smiling devilishly at the camera.

"It certainly captures your personalities," Mel agreed. "Maybe I can get a copy of that one for Lindsey?"

Justin smiled and nodded. "I've already set one aside. I just need to put it in the frame. How is she doing?"

Mel frowned. "She's doing better, but…"

"But what?" Justin asked.

Mel shook her head. "I'm not sure I could tell you exactly what's different about her, but she's not the same Lindsey. I thought at first it was the drugs they were giving her, but she's been off the drugs for over a month now, and she's…still not the Lindsey I fell in love with. She's not the Lindsey who fell in love with me."

"You think she doesn't love you any more?" Justin asked gently.

Mel smiled sadly. "I know she loves me. But she's not in love with me. Truth be told, I'm not sure I can be in love with the person she's becoming."

"What do you mean?" Justin asked.

"You know how she was brought up," Mel explained. "She was a spoiled rich kid. She's always had a tendency towards selfish behavior, but she's always made an effort to temper that with generosity and kindness. While she's recovering, everything revolves around her, and rightfully so, but it has brought out a side of Lindsey that…well, let's just say, it isn't good."

"Have you discussed it with her doctors?" Justin asked.

Mel nodded. "They say that they aren't there to judge the character of their patients. They only care about their mental health."

"When she's released, she won't…" Justin couldn't bring himself to ask the question forefront in his mind.

Mel smiled sadly. "It's more likely that she'll leave us all and move to parts unknown to live and paint. She keeps talking about freedom, and how she feels completely caged in our life together."

"You really think she'll leave you and Gus and JR?" Justin asked in shock.

Mel nodded, a silent tear traveling down her cheek. She swiped at it and said, "Her mother has been by a few times. Lindsey hasn't said anything, but I overheard the old bitch offer Lindsey money if she left us. She'll set Lindsey up in a cozy little house and pay her bills and let her paint to her heart's content. No cage. No responsibilities."

"No love," Justin said. "She's a fool if she takes it."

Mel nodded again, but her face hardened. "If she takes it, I'm going to insist she sign over the children. Mine and yours. She can't desert her children and think she can just flitter in and out of their lives whenever she wants. I won't let her hurt them like that."

"Maybe she'll do the right thing," Justin said hopefully.

"Maybe."

Justin was silent for a few minutes, flipping through the pictures of the twins aimlessly. Eventually he asked, "When do they expect to release her?"

"It's been almost eight months," Mel said with a shrug. "Originally they thought she wouldn't need to be there for more than three. I think she asked to stay longer. So the answer is, I don't know, but I don't expect it will be much longer."

Justin nodded and stared at a picture of his boys. The time was coming when decisions would need to be made. And he needed to be prepared for anything. Justin shook his head and decided to discuss it all with Brian later. "So how's the new house? Gus and JR settling in okay?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Part Ten**

"I talked to Anthony this afternoon," Brian told Justin in bed a few days later. "He finally met with Webster's lawyer. We were right; the lawyer didn't know anything about the abuse and is advising Webster to drop the suit."

"Did his lawyer say why Tom is suddenly so hard up for cash?" Justin asked curiously.

"No, but Anthony did a bit of digging," Brian said. "It seems Webster made a few bad investments with other people's money. A few of those people are not very happy with him, and they aren't the type of people you want to be angry with you."

Justin nodded against Brian's chest. Tom had associated with more than one shady character. It didn't really surprise him that the man might be in trouble now. His thoughts on their lawyer, Justin asked, "Did Anthony say anything about the custody papers?"

Brian sighed. "He and Mel have been meeting to go over the issue. Because Gus is my biological son, and because I have given financial support to him over the years despite the original agreement, Anthony and Mel have agreed that if she gets custody from Lindsey that I should be given partial custody. That way, if anything ever happens to Mel, Gus will come to us rather than Lindsey."

"That's good," Justin said.

"It would pretty much be the same as it is now, but legal. It's the same arrangement she and Michael have for JR," Brian added.

"What about the twins?"

Brian hesitated and Justin felt him tense up. Justin sat up and looked down at his lover with concern. Brian looked away when he spoke. "They both have suggested I petition to adopt the twins."

Justin's heart stopped for a full minute, afraid to hope. "And?"

Brian finally looked at Justin. "Would that be okay with you?"

Justin smiled at Brian's insecurity. "I think it would be great. You are already their daddy, you just didn't know it."

Brian swallowed hard and nodded. "Then yeah, I'd like that."

Justin leaned down and kissed Brian. Things were just getting interesting when they both were pulled from their passion by the sound of one of the twins through the monitor.

"You're on, Daddy," Justin smiled wickedly. "Go get your son."

Brian grumbled as he grabbed his robe, but stopped and smiled as a second cry joined the first. "You too, Papa."

Justin groaned, but quickly grabbed his own robe to join Brian.

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

They had a small welcome home party for Lindsey two weeks later. The small house Mel had found for her and the kids was cozy and warm and filled their friends and family. There was laughter and smiles, but under it all, there was a tension felt only by those closest to the situation. When the guests had left and the kids were put to bed, the twins in a portable crib in Mel's room, Brian, Justin, Mel and Lindsey sat in the small living room drinking coffee.

"I've made a decision," Lindsey suddenly announced, almost making Justin jump. Brian wrapped his arm around his partner to lend him strength and comfort. "I can't keep doing this. I can't be the person I was before all of this happened. I'm very grateful to each of you for all that you've done for me, but I need to make some changes in my life."

"What sort of changes?" Brian asked. Justin had told him about Mel's suspicions, and they had prepared for what might come, but even though he went along with all the preparations, he'd never actually believed that Lindsey, his Wendy, could actually walk away from her children, from Mel, from him.

Lindsey closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening her eyes and looking directly at Brian. "My mother offered me a house and a trust to support myself while I paint. I'm going to take her up on it."

"What the fuck, Linz?" Brian asked scathingly. "You hate that bitch! And what about your children?"

"She's promised to leave me alone," Lindsey said quietly.

"In return for leaving your lover and children behind," Mel said coolly.

Lindsey looked hurt. "It's not like that. I need… I need to take care of myself. I was so busy taking care of everyone else that I got lost. I can't do that again. Next time…"

They didn't need her to finish that sentence. Next time she might actually take her own life.

"And you think being alone will make things better?" Justin asked. He was torn. A part of him wanted her gone, still angry at her and afraid that she might take his babies away. Another part, however, loved her and knew how much she was hurting. "I was alone, Lindsey. For two years, I was alone. I wouldn't give up a minute of time with the twins for that. Being alone doesn't make things better. It makes things worse."

Lindsey shook her head. "You don't understand. I can't do it anymore. I've made up my mind. I know Mel suspected this was coming. I'm sure she's prepared the legal papers we'll need. I'll sign over my parental rights however you all work it out. The kids will be fine. They've done just fine without me these past months."

Brian was angry and hurt. Justin could feel his whole body thrum with emotions. He tried to lend Brian comfort, but there wasn't really anything he could do. "I can't believe you're going to do this. They told me, and I went along with the arrangements they were making, but I never believed you could be this selfish. Christ Lindsey!" Brian restlessly got to his feet and began to pace. "When? How long before you disappear?"

"Two days," Lindsey whispered. "Long enough to pack my personal things, make the kids understand what's happening, and sign whatever documents you need me to sign. My sister will pick me up first thing on Monday morning."

"Where will you go?" Mel asked, speaking for the first time.

"My father's sister found a house for me in New Mexico," Lindsey said. "It's in an artist's colony. I did a bit of research online and it sounds really nice."

"If you do this, don't expect to come back to open arms when it all falls apart," Brian warned. "I forgave you for taking my son to another country. I forgave you for almost screwing up my relationship with Justin. I even forgave you for lying to all of us about the twins. But this…this I'm not sure I can forgive. You are hurting our children, whether you want to believe that or not."

Lindsey looked at Mel, silently asking if she agreed with Brian. Mel gave her a sad nod. There would be no turning back this time. "It wouldn't be fair to the kids to have you coming and going in and out of their lives on your whims."

"I understand," Lindsey said with a slight tremor in her voice. She swallowed hard and nodded. "I understand."

After that, there wasn't much to say.

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

"She didn't even hold the twins once," Justin said when they were alone in bed that night.

"Maybe she's already distanced herself from them," Brian said quietly.

"How can she do that?" Justin asked angrily. "How can she just leave her babies behind, like they never existed?"

"I don't know," Brian said quietly. "I just don't know."

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

Lindsey left on Monday morning as promised. Gus refused to come out of his room, but Justin spied him peeking out of the window, his face screwed up in anger. They would all need to help him through this. JR and the babies were still young enough not to be as affected by Lindsey's departure. JR gave Lindsey a hug and kiss goodbye, just as she had done each time she had visited her mommy at the hospital, but she didn't feel the same loss that Gus did. Lindsey didn't even look at the twins in their stroller. She gave Mel a hug, and despite the pain and anger that Mel must have been feeling, she returned the hug and clung to Lindsey for long minutes. Brian, very much Gus' father, wouldn't even look at Lindsey.

"Take care of yourself," Justin said quietly when Lindsey turned to him. He didn't offer a hug, nor did Lindsey try to give him one.

"I will," Lindsey said. "I'll write once I get settled."

"I'll send photos, if you want," Justin offered.

Lindsey looked hopeful for a minute but then shook her head. "No, it's probably best if you don't."

Justin nodded. "If you change your mind…"

"Thank you," Lindsey said.

"Let's go, Lindsey," the sister called. The bitch hadn't even bothered to get out of the car.

"Well, I guess this is it," Lindsey said. She took a step back and gave a watery smile to each of them. She looked up at Gus' window and blew him a kiss. Justin looked up in time to see the curtains close. Lindsey's tears began to flow freely then. "Goodbye."

Moments later, she was gone.

Justin took the twins and JR inside while Brian held Mel, who was now crying like her heart would never mend.

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

Lindsey hadn't been gone a week before Brian got a call from Michael. Ben was back in the hospital. Two days later, he was gone.

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

Brian spent a lot of time with Michael in the weeks after Ben's death. Justin understood, though he missed having Brian around. He knew that Michael needed his best friend. The twins missed their daddy, but Justin did his best to make it up to them. He also spent a lot of time with Gus and JR. Gus took being a big brother very seriously, wanting to help as much as he was able. Mel assured Justin that the family therapist they were seeing said it was a natural reaction to the separation with his mother. Gus knew he was loved by his other parents, but he was hurting. Instead of dwelling on his own pain, he was doing his best to protect his siblings from that sort of pain.

Justin worked through his pain and confusion through his art. He spent hours every day allowing his heart to bleed out on the canvases. The result was some of the best work he had done and he had an offer for a local show because of them.

One Friday evening, when Justin was preparing another meal for just him and the twins, he was surprised to hear Brian come in. He looked up at his partner in the doorway and felt like he was looking at a mirage.

"I thought you were having dinner with Michael," Justin said breathlessly, suddenly filled with inexplicable anxiety.

"He's going to dinner with Emmett," Brian smirked. "And your mother will be here in half an hour to watch the twins tonight. You and I are going to dinner."

"We are?" Justin smiled as relief flooded through him.

Brian nodded and took two steps towards Justin. "And then we are going dancing."

"We are?"

Brian nodded and took another two steps. "We are." Another step and he had Justin in his arms. "I missed you."

Justin suddenly had a lump in his throat. "Me too." He clung to Brian like he would disappear if he loosened his grip at all. "What brought this on?"

"Michael," Brian said. "And Mel. They are both mourning for their lost partners. And I have my partner right here, but felt like I had lost you too. I don't ever want to regret a second that could have been spent together. If I ever take you for granted again, you need to tell me."

"Michael needed you too," Justin shrugged.

"He's not my partner," Brian said. "You are. And he has other friends and family who want to help him. So I'm going to let them. And I'm going to give you the attention you've been missing."

"I'm glad," Justin smiled and finally kissed Brian. No sooner had their lips met than Eli began crying for his dinner. Soon Sam had joined in the chorus.

"I swear they do that on purpose," Brian snorted. "Go on upstairs and get ready to go. I'll feed these two starving beasts."

**BJBJBJBJBJ**

They had dinner at a nice restaurant that Brian often used to entertain clients before heading to Woody's for a few drinks. Justin enjoyed being with Brian with no distractions and no responsibilities for a change. It wasn't long before they ended up at Babylon. Despite time and the changes in their lives, both Brian and Justin turned many heads as they took to the dance floor. The freedom and joy that lived in the thumpa-thumpa had soon permeated the sadness and disappointments of life that weighed them down.

For hours, they moved together, ignoring the come-ons and suggestive glances thrown their way… mostly. They drank and danced like they were the same carefree people who had met under a streetlight so many years ago.

When the music changed, there were slight groans from some of the people around them, but Justin's face lit up.

"I can't believe they're playing this!"

"There are some perks to owning the place," Brian smirked. "Shall we?"

The crowd began to part as Brian and Justin began to dance just like they had at his prom. As they circled the floor, Justin looked into Brian's eyes and read the promise there. Some dreams came true, some didn't, but whatever might happen in the future Brian would be there, and Justin would always save the last dance for Brian.

**The End**

5


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