


Thank You

by Davey-Malucci



Category: Queer as Folk
Genre: Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2003-08-28
Updated: 2003-08-28
Packaged: 2013-06-19 10:49:58
Rating: K+
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1496957/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/376347/Davey-Malucci
Summary: A different side to the Stuart Alan Jones we all know and love (QAF UK)





	Thank You

Notes: I decided to write this particular to present a side to Stuart that you don't really see in QAF, so here's the finished product  
  
Timeline: This one is hard to pin down, it happens sometime during QAF1 but before Cameron  
  
Thank you  
  
"My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why, I got out of bed at all The morning rain clouds up my window, and I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad"  
  
You don't expect me to have feelings do you? You think that because I'm Manchester's Champion Shagger I don't have feelings. Well, I couldn't really could I? if I can kick out guy after guy in the morning without a second thought. If I can allow someone I call my best friend to follow me around every single day and yet treat him like shit. Well, you'd be wrong. I have feelings, the thing is, you just don't see them.  
  
"I drank too must last night, got bills to pay, My head just feels in pain"  
  
So I get up every morning and kick out whatever shag I've had the night before. Sometimes I don't even wait until morning, sometimes I just kick them out right after we've had sex. They call me allsorts but I act like I don't care. I make my coffee and dress in my expensive suit and I look every bit the successful young man. I go downstairs, I climb in my Jeep and I set off for my place of work.  
  
"I missed the bus and they'll be hell today, I'm late for work again"  
  
I arrive at my office and I ooze charm and confidence. They all smile at me, sucking up to the great man himself I suppose. I stroll past them, grinning, that's the me they want to see. That's who they think I am. But when I get into my office, close the door and collapse in my chair, I see a different man. He's tired and old and wanting nothing but to be alone.  
  
"And even if I'm there, they'll all imply, that I might not last the day, Then you call me and it's not so bad, it's not so bad"  
  
My mobile phone rings and as I stare at the liquid crystal screen a smile comes across my face. No; not my pulling smile, or my work smile, but a real smile, a genuine smile. It's so simple to see how those five little letters can bring so much out of me.  
  
Vince  
  
I answer the phone and you talk to me. God, if only you knew what it means to me to hear your voice. You're like the sun that cuts through the rain cloud. You're the one thing in my life that I haven't totally messed up. To hear your voice is to know you're with me, to know that you're near me, to know that thankfully, I'm not alone, my best friend.  
  
"I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life"  
  
I manage to get through the working day spurred on only by the fact that we've arranged to meet at your place. You 'convinced' me to stay in tonight and just have a TV night. Not that I need much convincing. God, Vince, I wish I could tell you how much I enjoy it when we stay in. But no, you expect me to go out and cop off, because you think that's what makes me happy. Maybe it did when we were younger, I have to admit, I loved it especially with you watching. Now, now I'm 29 and it all sees so pointless. Why waste my time with any of them when all I want is you? But I keep doing it anyway, because I'm too scared to tell you the truth. Yes, Stuart Alan Jones, is scared.  
  
"Push the door, I'm home at last and I'm soaking through and through Then you handed me a towel, and all I see is you"  
  
I love that warm welcome I always get when going to your flat. That smile, that cheerful voice, seeing you. It's like that little flat is my home. Because that's what it feels like Vince, it feels like home. Not like my place, my place is just an over-sized 'shag-pad'. I'd sooner go to yours and see that smile than be at mine with some stranger any day. But still, I can't tell you any of this.  
  
"And even if my house falls down now, I wouldn't have a clue Because you're near me"  
  
We settle on the sofa, you've made spaghetti. You're a great cook Vince, you make the best spaghetti I've ever tasted. But I never tell you do I? I never tell you anything, not really. I never tell you what you mean to me and I never tell you how amazing you are. Instead, I hurt you, I know I do. I know how much it stabs at you to see me walk away with some other man. I know how much you long for me to be with you. I know how much you want me to tell you I love you. Yet I don't do any of that, I know you want it all and I still don't do anything about it. I wish I could tell you why Vince, I really do. Sitting here, on this moth-eaten sofa with my arm around you I wish I could tell you. You want to know why I can't? I can't because I don't have the confidence. Yes, I know, it's so stupid, Stuart Alan Jones with no confidence. The truth is, these feelings I have scare me so much and I don't know how to handle them.  
  
"I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life"  
  
You're the only one who really knows me Vince. You're the only one I want to know me. You're the only one I truly trust. And one day, I will tell you this. One day I will tell you it all. I swear I will. Until that day, it will be my secret. But for now Vince, all I want you to know is one thing.  
  
Thank you. 


End file.
