


Would It Be Beautiful?

by BohemiaLMM



Category: Queer as Folk
Genre: Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-15
Updated: 2009-12-15
Packaged: 2013-09-29 14:49:20
Rating: K+
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5584497/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/285477/BohemiaLMM
Summary: Brian thinks about Michael and the way things could never be.





	Would It Be Beautiful?

**Author's Note: **Brian thinks about Michael. One-sided romance, of sorts.

* * *

His laugh is sudden and not entirely unexpected, filling the diner like it's the only sound there. It makes Brian glance over the edge of his newspaper to watch him briefly. Brian watches the way his face scrunches and the way his lips turn up into that familiar smile, and the way he leans into the man next to him so he can kiss his cheek. Brian goes back to his paper.

Brian loves Michael. It's not a secret, anyone with eyes can see that. And there are days, days like this one, where Brian catches himself wondering what it'd be like if that were him and not Ben.

"Brian, are you okay?"

"Hmm?" Brian looks over his paper again, finding Michael looking at him. "Yeah. Rough night."

Contrary to popular belief, Brian Kinney knows about love. A lot more than he lets on. He knows, too, that the man who's been his best friend for years loves him, and that all he has to do is say the word and Michael would be there with him. Like he already does. All those times that he's abandoned everything just to be there when Brian needed him ... When Brian wanted him.

"Uh huh." There's an amused smile, the one he only ever uses on Brian. "At least drink your coffee if you wanna be convincing."

"This coffee tastes like shit." Brian sets the paper on the table and picks up his coffee, taking a sip with raised eyebrows, making a point. It's enough to get Michael to laugh. That's enough to get the corners of Brian's mouth to quirk into a ghost of a smile.

He makes Brian happy in a way that Brian could never do for him. For all he knows about love, Brian doesn't know how to stop himself from being so vulnerable when it happens. So he fakes it; he lets Michael save him from stepping into the unknown and accuses him of being pathetic when the moment's passed. Brian knows that Michael's smarter than that, that Michael's caught on years ago, but he plays along and pretends to be whatever Brian's making him be.

"We should get going. Call me, okay?"

"Sure." Brian nods, then Michael reaches out to squeeze his hand. They hold on a few extra seconds, like they always do, and he slips his fingers out of Brian's to leave.

Brian could never let Michael live in a constant state of putting Brian's life back together. Brian knows that when you love someone, it's about them being happy. Ben makes him happy, not Brian. It hurts as much as it comforts, to know he's got someone to look out for him when Brian can't.

Brian loves Michael enough to know he's not what Michael deserves.


End file.
