


Confessions

by tpal2150



Category: Queen of Swords
Genre: Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2004-10-18
Updated: 2004-10-18
Packaged: 2013-08-14 04:53:50
Rating: T
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,942
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2100267/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/410637/tpal2150
Summary: The truth finally comes out… (Sequel to “Testing a Theory”)





	1. Confessions 1 of 2

**Confessions 1/2**

Disclaimers: The usual…

Author: Shirley Long

Rating: PG-13

Synopsis: The truth finally comes out… (Sequel to "Testing a Theory")

* * *

Tessa glanced down at her father's pocket watch, still questioning her sanity for walking into what was obviously some sort of trap. Five minutes to midnight. Grisham would be arriving any minute now. She read the note one more time, trying to figure out what game the Captain was playing. It had been addressed to Tessa, but was clearly meant for the Queen. '_What's going on here, Grisham? What are you trying to prove?_'

She heard footsteps from out in the darkness, beyond the range of the small lantern hanging from the post behind her. Her hands closed around the pair of dueling pistols at her sides, held in place by the red sash she always wore. Normally, she didn't carry guns, but she wanted extra protection this time, in case it really was a trap and she became outnumbered.

"Who's there?" Tessa called out, slowly drawing the pistols.

"Those aren't for me, are they?" Grisham stepped into the light, hands in the air. He appeared to be unarmed, but that didn't really mean anything. The sneaky bastard could easily be hiding a dagger in his boot or a pistol behind his back. Not taking any chances, Tessa kept the guns leveled at his chest.

"That depends."

"On what?"

"On whether or not this meeting turns out to be a trap."

"Oh, come on now…where's the trust?" He inched closer. Tessa cocked the pistol in her right hand and aimed it as his head. "Okay, okay…no need to get testy," he said, backing up to where he'd stood before.

"Trust, Captain? While the last two weeks have been…interesting…they hardly give me a reason to trust you. How do I know that you're not hiding a weapon somewhere? That you don't have men lying in wait to ambush me?"

"I can assure you I'm alone."

"And I'm just supposed to take you at your word?"

"In this case, yeah. As for weapons…well, you can just go ahead and search me if it'll make you feel better." He took a step forward, arms wide open. Tessa returned the uncocked pistol to her sash and, keeping the other pistol trained on Grisham's head, used her free hand to pat him down. As she conducted her search, Grisham stood there patiently with his usual self-satisfied smirk. She found herself staring at his face. At the way his eyes seemed to twinkle in amusement as he watched her work…the way the corners of his lips turned up ever so slightly, offering the barest hint of a genuine smile. And to kiss those lips…try as she might, Tessa couldn't forget that mistaken kiss. She knew it was wrong. After all, she loved Helm—right? And yet, kissing Grisham had felt so good…so different from kissing Robert. The doctor was always so cautious, so unsure of himself. Not Grisham. His kiss had been so full of fire…of unbridled passion unlike anything she'd ever felt before. Not even Antonio could have come close to what the Captain had made her feel with that one kiss.

As her attention was focused elsewhere, Tessa's hand accidentally drifted over between the Captain's legs. His rather…surprising reaction to her touch was enough to bring her back to reality. With a rather undignified squeal, she pulled her hand away and backed up. In her haste to put some distance between them, Tessa sacrificed even more of her dignity by tripping over her own two feet and landing squarely on her bum.

Laughing, Grisham strode over and offered her a hand.

"Find what you were looking for?"

"Not really…" She pushed his hand away, climbing back to her feet without any help. Once standing, she uncocked the other pistol and put it away. "Okay, so you came here unarmed and without backup. What's the game here, Grisham? What are you playing at?"

"What makes you think I'm playing at anything?"

"Let's start with that strange note. Why the hell would you send a note for me to that spoiled Alvarado brat?"

"First, tell me how you got it."

"Senorita Alvarado had Marta pass it on to me once she realized who it was for."

"And how did Senorita Alvarado come to that conclusion?"

"For starters, she hasn't been to the mines since—"

"Ah-ha! I never said anything about the mines in the note. At least, not directly. I made sure that only the Queen could decipher the note's meaning. Isn't that right…Tessa!" Before she could react, Grisham moved in and pushed the mask up to her forehead. "I knew it!"

"H-how?"

"The kiss. Last time someone kissed me like that was when you tried to seduce me, looking for the fever medicine, no doubt. I never forgot that kiss, and after last week it wasn't that hard to put two and two together. But I couldn't be completely sure, which is why I asked you here tonight. I just had to know."

"You bastard! So, what now? You gonna hand me over to Montoya so he can--"Grisham cut off her tirade with another mind-blowing kiss that was sure to leave her weak at the knees. Tessa tried to resist at first, but soon gave in and returned the kiss with as much fervor as she had in Grisham's quarters. Soon, air became an issue and they were forced to part. They locked eyes for a moment, but Tessa quickly turned away. "Go on then. Wouldn't want to miss your big chance at a promotion now, would you?" Gently, Grisham cupped her face in his hand and turned it so they were looking in each other's eyes once more.

"Tessa, the last thing I ever want to do is hand you over to that monster."

Now Tessa was confused. This was the last thing she'd ever expected to happen when Grisham discovered her identity.

"Since when do you think of Montoya as a monster?"

"Since always. The man has made death into an art form, and all I've ever done is stand by and watch."

"You do more than watch, Grisham. You help him."

"True…I am a killer. Never said I wasn't. But I don't take pleasure in it…not the way Montoya does. He gets off on causing pain and suffering."

"I've seen you kill. You seem to enjoy it enough."

"Thrill of the hunt, that's all. I don't fantasize about it…well, almost never. But even so, I do have enough restraint not to act on those fantasies. What about you? I mean, I know you don't like killing. So why do you do this?"

Tessa tore herself away from him, retreating over to the support beam where she had hung the lantern. She leaned back against it and stared down at her feet, trying to compose herself. This was hardly the kind of thing she wanted to discuss with the Captain. But then, he already knew her secret, so there was no going back now.

"My father…he was murdered. I know it. I started this to find those responsible, but the longer I do it, the more it becomes about keeping Montoya from turning into a tyrant."

Grisham suddenly seemed less sure of himself. He too started looking at his feet. Several moments of deafening silence passed between them.

"You really are your father's daughter, Tessa," Grisham said, his voice breaking into the quiet. "I don't care what anyone else says about it."

"What do you mean?"

"Your father was a good man…only one around here who ever treated me like a real person. He found out about Montoya's plans for and empire and tried to put a stop to them. That's why he died…why I had to…"

"It was you!" Upon hearing his confession, Tessa was overcome with rage. She practically leapt over to where he stood and landed a solid right hook to his jaw, sending him sprawling in the dirt. As he sat up, cradling his now-bruised jaw, Tessa pulled her sword and leveled the tip right at his heart. "I should kill you where you sit…give Papa the justice he so rightfully deserves."

"Justice…or vengeance?"

"Does it matter?"

"It would to him. Tessa, please…just give me a chance to explain."

"Why should I?"

"Because, believe it or not, I'm on your side."

TBC


	2. Confessions 2 of 2

**Confessions 2/2**

"...believe it or not, I'm on your side."

"Right…I remember how many times being on my side almost got me killed."

"I was following orders."

"Just like you were 'following orders' when you murdered my father?"

"Look, if I hadn't shot, we both would be dead. The soldiers I was with had orders to kill me if I didn't stop your father. At least I can help you bring Montoya down."

She shook her head. "Sorry Grisham, but I'm just not buying it. In all the time that I've known you, I cannot think of a single thing that you've done that would even remotely suggest that you actually give a damn about anyone but yourself. The Grisham I've come to know is nothing but a liar, a cheat, a womanizer, a bully, a murder, and all-around scumbag. And to think I was letting myself get all worked up over one stupid little kiss. I'm sure the world would be better off if I were to just put you down right now like the rabid dog you are."

Grisham stood up with his arms out in an open invitation. Tessa could've sworn there were tears in his eyes. "If that's the way you feel, Tessa, then go ahead. Do it. But you're not the only one who hides behind a mask."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What it means, Tessa, is that the Grisham you've come to know is nothing but a blatant lie. You've never met the real me. No one has…at least, no one that's still around to talk about it. Truth is, I'm not a soldier. Never was. Back home, I was a spy, and a damn good one at that. I could infiltrate any type of group you could name and go back to my superiors with all the information they wanted, plus some they never even thought to ask about. Then my duties got me involved with Krane, and I wound up in exile with a pretty hefty price on my head should I ever try to return. Which is how I ended up here; playing second fiddle to that overbearing peacock they call a colonel."

"If you're a spy, then who are you working for now? Who's paying you to watch Montoya?"

Grisham removed his hat and twisted it in his hands as he stared at the ground.

"No one's paying me, but technically, you could say I'm working for your father. See, when I first came here, the commisionado was Colonel Hernandez, who was a pretty decent guy…pretty much the opposite of Montoya. Then Hernandez got shot while trying to take down some bandits. I killed the guy who did it, and the Colonel promoted me to Captain just before he died. That left me in charge of the garrison until his replacement showed up. I tried to run things like Hernandez had, but most of the dons hated me because I was an outsider, which made things rather difficult. Your father didn't hate me though. He was probably the only don who thought I was worth anything. Anyway, a few weeks after Hernandez died this hotshot young colonel comes in from Monterrey. Montoya seemed decent enough at first, but then he started acting like Santa Elena was his own personal empire and he was Napoleon. Then one night he calls a secret meeting with the local dons and tries to convince them that he, along with several other local officials, were planning to one day stage a revolution. That they were going to overthrow the crown's influence here and turn California into a republic. Some of the dons buy it, but most of them see right through Montoya's little act, your father included. After the meeting broke up, he pulled me aside for a little chat. He asked me if I'd had any experience with espionage. Now, this was the first time he'd ever asked anything about my past, since he knew it wasn't exactly my favorite subject. I admitted to having a little experience, and he didn't press that matter further. But he did ask me if I could spy on Montoya for him; find out what he was really up to. I agreed, and even offered to do it for free since I never trusted that man anyway."

Tessa walked in front of him."And then you turned around and betrayed him the first chance you got."

****"You're wrong," he said, looking up at her. "There is a Judas in this tale, but it's not me."

"Then who is it?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

Grisham let out a deep breath. "Okay…after that idiot Horacio had gone and gotten himself killed over those stupid papers—papers which, by the way, I'd stolen for Don Raphael—we all knew that time was running out on our plans. So it was decided that one of us would take those papers to the Viceroy in Monterrey…bring this all to an end. We all drew straws to see who would do it, and your father happened to draw the short one. After that, our little meeting broke up and everyone headed for home. Or so we thought. On my way back to my quarters, I noticed Don Gaspar's carriage parked outside of Montoya's residence. There was light coming from his office, and I could see shadows on the curtain. I climbed up to the balcony and tried to eavesdrop. Couldn't hear much, but what I did catch…"

"What?" Silence. Tessa grabbed him by the collar and hauled him to his feet."Grisham, tell me. What did you hear?"

Grisham took another deep breath and looked down into her eyes. "You remember that dispute over the water rights? The one your father mentioned in his letters?"

"Yes, I do…why?"

"What I did hear…it was Don Gaspar, making a deal with Montoya. See, Hidalgo wasn't actively involved in the dispute, but he was interested. His plan was to just wait for the opportune moment, and then move in and claim it all for himself. And I guess that moment came when your father agreed to take that ride. He told Montoya everything that had gone on in our meeting, and in exchange, Don Gaspar would be given the water rights—as soon as all the other players were out of the picture, of course."

Tessa shoved him away."You're lying."

"I wish I was, Tessa. But you know how ambitious Don Gaspar is. Hell, if it weren't for Montoya, I'm sure he'd have found a way to be running this town himself. We thought he could be trusted…that he'd value friendship above his own personal goals. Guess that was where we went wrong."

Tessa's rage returned, only this time it wasn't directed at Grisham. Seething, she walked over to the mine's entrance and punched one of the support beams. The pain that now washed over her hand did nothing to quell her anger. So she did it again…and again…and again…"That…lying…greedy…soulless…bastard!" Each word was punctuated with yet another blow to the support beam, which wasn't giving in the slightest. But she kept on hitting it, until finally, a pair of strong arms wrapped around her, gently pulling her away. Tessa tried to push him off of her, but Grisham held fast.

"Shh…calm down, Tessa." She ceased struggling for the moment, but was far from calm. "Look, I'm sorry you had to find out this way. I know Senor Hidalgo is your friend…"

"I'll kill him! I'll wrap my hands around that fat neck of his and squeeze until—"

"No, you won't."

"And why the hell not?"

"Because killing him won't bring your father back anymore than killing me would. All it would get you is a one-way trip to the gallows, and I don't think you'll be able to do anyone any good from there." He released his grip and backed off a few paces. Tessa was still upset, but knew that Grisham was right. She took several deep breaths, trying to force herself to calm down.

"So, what happened next?" she asked, once she was calm enough to speak normally.

"Montoya came to my quarters about an hour later and gave me one of his usual vague orders to 'make sure Don Raphael never makes it to Monterrey.' And to make sure I did my part, since he still didn't quite trust me, the colonel sent me there with a squad of men who had orders to kill me if I didn't carry out mine. I spent the whole ride trying to think up a way to save him—hell, I was even willing to take the bullet for him if it meant that the information would get to Monterrey and Montoya would be recalled. But then the men started shooting before I'd even given the order to do so. For the most part, the shots were up to the usual standard. Then one of the men got lucky and hit Don Raphael in the shoulder, and I knew that was it. If being a spy taught me one thing, it was that sometimes, sacrifices have to be made for the sake of the cause. It didn't take a doctor to see that your father wasn't gonna make it to Monterrey, and Doctor Helm was still traipsing around Texas or wherever. And without Don Raphael, none of the other dons would ever have the backbone to stand against Montoya, which left everything up to me. I had to take the shot, or else they would've killed me too, and Montoya's reign would've gone on unopposed. This probably won't be all that comforting, but I made it quick and clean. He was dead before his body left the horse, and I doubt he felt any pain beyond what the shoulder wound had caused him."

"You're right, it's not that comforting…but you were right earlier too when you said that killing you wouldn't bring him back."

"So I get to live?"

"Yeah. Believe it or not, I actually kind of understand where you're coming from. I mean, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to completely forgive you for killing him, but if the situation were reversed, I can't say that I wouldn't have done the same thing." As the words came out of her mouth, Tessa realized just how true they were. While her brief experience as a spy in Senor Torres' network hadn't required her to go nearly as far as Grisham had been made to, she'd seen and heard enough from the other agents to know how things worked. That sometimes, as Grisham had pointed out, sacrifices had to be made. It didn't make losing him hurt any less, but at least now she knew that he'd died trying to make things better around here. And maybe, just maybe, Grisham could help her ensure that his death hadn't been in vain.

Grisham cleared his throat, and Tessa realized that she must have zoned out, because she'd almost forgotten that he was still there.

"Uh, Tessa…the secret identity thing wasn't the only reason I'd asked you here tonight. There's…um…something else I wanted to tell you. I know this might be a little tasteless…considering…but I…uh…"

As amusing as it was to watch the normally confident captain stumble through…whatever it was he was trying to say, Tessa was growing impatient. "You what? Come on, tell me."

"I-I think I may be falling in love with you." She jerked her head back in surprise as she opened her mouth to say something, but he just kept right on talking. "I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. Ever since that kiss, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. No one's ever made me feel the way you do, Tessa. Not even Vera. I don't expect you to feel the same way, given our rather…colorful…history together. But, would you at least be willing to give me a chance?"

'_Give him a chance? Two weeks ago, I would've thought myself crazy for even considering such a thing. But after what I've heard tonight…maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing. Well, here goes…_' "Alright, I'll give you a chance..." She glanced at the pocket watch. Three A.M. Where on earth did the time go? "But we'll have to discuss it tomorrow. If I sneak in at dawn one more time, Marta's gonna kill me."

"Tomorrow it is, then. Guess this means you're coming back to town."

"I guess it does." Tessa whistled for Chico, who obediently trotted right to her side. She pulled the mask back over her eyes and mounted up, but as her hand reached for the reins it was intercepted by Grisham. He gently lifted the hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss on the knuckles. She winced slightly, as they were still a bit sore from her earlier tantrum, but the gesture was certainly appreciated.

"Good night, mi reina. Take care." He released her hand, finally allowing her to take hold of the reins.

"I will. My life is now in your hands." She bent down hand kissed his cheek. Buenos noches…Marcus."

Grisham watched her ride away as he placed his hand on his cheek. _'Buenos Noches Tessa.'_

The end (for now)


End file.
