


brian teenage diaries

by veronique2



Category: Queer as Folk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2005-01-06
Updated: 2005-01-06
Packaged: 2013-08-21 23:19:33
Rating: T
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,372
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2208139/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/318535/veronique2
Summary: Brian starts a diaries , about his hunt and trick. BM fanfics be warned. This fic was written by my friend Milla, she doesn't have account on ff.net so i posted but it's her fic not mine. i just helped her that's . all. credits is to her





	brian teenage diaries

Chapter 1 - Preparation

LIST OF TRICKS

_A few days before school starts…_

**Jay Steppleton - Age 15**

Description: Fair skin, swimmer's build, dark hair, blue eyes. Cute.

Action Performed: French kiss. Hand job.

Highlights: good kisser. VERY nice hand job.

Special Features: long tongue (does the trick).

Bad Points: refused to suck my dick (asshole!). Attempted to stick a finger up my ass.

Measure Taken: hand swatted, hair pulled back and a lovebite (idiot seemed to like it hard...).

Lesson Learnt: I decide _how_ and _when_. I am the one in control.

Average Result: good.

Following Step: do a repeat.

_Note: fucking Jay didn't understand my rules. Still doesn't want to suck my dick, the prick! Insists on the fingering. Game over. No more repeats. On to the next target. _

_First day at new school (that sucks!)…_

Spotted Cutie in class.

Seems into comics, had one under History book.

Saved him from teacher's fury offering excuse for his distraction (_"Sorry, sir, my fault. I'd borrowed his eraser…"_) when asked to read aloud in class. Offered to read in his place. Earned a small smile and a "thank you", mouthed by GREAT lips! H-O-T! What wonders that wouldn't do to my neglected dick... (BTW, stalker Jay STILL didn't get he's OUT of the picture! You're yesterday's trick! Get a fucking life, asshole!).

Cutie fled as class ended. Is he gay or what? Could he not be gay? Gaydar showed "positive". Gaydar never fails: he IS.

About the Target:

Description: short, fair skin, swimmer's build, dark hair, dark eyes. Cute.

Highlights: LIPS (too sexy to be away from mine and my dick)!! Cute, little turned-up nose and button eyes. AND the most beautiful bubble butt EVER (by still, my cock)!

Special Features: shy (what a turn-on!). Definitely a virgin (yummy!).

Bad Points: haven't had my hands on him... YET!!

Measure to be Taken: HAVE him! Like YESTERDAY!!! Bring Spiderman's new issue next class.

Approach Technique: use "The Gobbling is so much more interesting" line (it'll work like a charm).

_Note: Hunting Season has JUST begun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

p.s.: you have no idea who's coming after you (literally), Cutie!

Chapter 2 - Cutie Hunting

Too Shy! Avoids looking in the eyes.

Found excuse when approached and ran away (is he crazy or what? NO ONE does that to Brian Kinney).

**URGENT **Measure Taken: approach again, same day. Use secret weapon: Spiderman Issue/Gobbling.

Result from Measure: SUCCESS!!!

Step-by-step Description of Action:

Killer line used.

Partial Result: (like previously stated: worked like a charm) eyes lit up, lips (oh, those lips) curled up in smile (wider, this time).

Cutie (surprisingly) agreed with Gobbling Theory (huh?).

Partial Result: there's actually a brain behind the ass (and what an ass, I should say). Boy can talk.

Comic fanatic! ALERT Captain Astro (who the fuck is that?!).

**URGENT **Measure to be Taken: go to nearest comic store today. Study Cap. Astro.

Walked Cutie home, up to the door, only.

Following Step: Keep up the comic subject.

Measure to be Taken: seek enlightenment from the master (Cutie, of course!).

Approach Technique: ask Cutie to see his collection.

_Note: find a way of getting in the house with him. Mother works in the afternoon, it seems._

_p.s.: be completely, positively, 100 sure he's gay (like that has ever stopped me)._

Chapter 3 - Show Me Your Collection

Got to walk Cutie home again.

Measure Taken: Asked to see his Comic collection.

Result of Measure: Success.

Step-by-step Description of Action:

Got to the house. Mother out, working, as expected.

Went into his room: Captain Astro curtains, message board, desk... bed... the usual.

Cutie spoke animatedly about various comic books he had. Sprawled them over the bed, where we sat (ideas... ideas of what to do in that bed...).

Asked Cutie to read some for me (had to see those lips moving...).

Interesting in the beginning... boring in the end (not exactly my idea of fun, spending a whole afternoon reading comics, in bed, with a hottie by my side... certainly not what I was there for).

**URGENT **Measure Taken: cut to the chase, pop the question ("You know, I'm gay. Do you have a problem with that?")

Partial Result: Cutie stunned. Shocked, to say the least.

(Not So) Surprising Following Result: Cutie's gay, too!! He said so himself (fuck me! I'm never wrong!).

Following Step: Kiss the Cutie.

Step-by-step Description of Action:

Leaned in the direction of Cutie to perform aforementioned action.

Partial Result: Failure (un-fucking-believable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Cutie dodged the kiss (who the fuck does he think he is? Being gay, is he crazy or what??).

Failure Analysis (for my sanity, I have to do this!): Cutie probably thought I was leaning forward to check some detail from the fucking comic book (as if!). Cutie stood up to get another comic and state his (somewhat interesting) theory.

_ Cutie's (Weird) Theory About Comic Book Super Heroes: most of them are gay (if not all!). Spandex may be a hint (and what are those bulges?!). Sidekicks too. Where are the girls? Why are they always two men, friends forever? Even living together, sometimes... hummm._

_Note: Cutie's either a freak... or a genius... On a second thought, he might have a point....maybe tomorrow... too sleepy to think right now... However... he's really cute!_

Cutie babbled endlessly about theory.

Got bored. Left.

Following Step: Kiss him tomorrow, or move over to the next one! (the line has to get on! Wasted already too much time with that virgin ass. No ass is worth that much attention. Tomorrow will be his last chance.)

Measure to be Taken: Skip class, get Cutie drunk and fuck his brains out! Fucking A.S.A.P.!

Approach Technique: "borrow" a bottle of Pop's scotch. Suggest quiet place, so as not to be seen (or interrupted). His place, obviously, since mother's never there.

p.s.: it's tomorrow or never more! Life's too short to waste it on pointless babbling. Plus talking is for dykes, I don't have time for this. Tomorrow I might be dead! It's not like I'm fucking living beyond thirty anyway!... Hell, thirty! That's old!!

p.p.s.: okay, so tomorrow, Cutie, I'll have that sweet bubble butt of yours! And you'll so beg for more! I can so see it already... (shit! woody again...)

Chapter 4 - There's a First Time to Everything

Missed Cutie at bus stop. His mother must have dropped him off

Didn't see Cutie before class start, had to wait until the break to talk to him

Showed bottle to Cutie during break. Cutie hesitated but ended up agreeing

Suggested his house. Deal (easy!).

Step-by-step Description of Action:

Walked to Cutie's house

Headed to his room

Sat on the floor, back to bed

Drank first to encourage Cutie

Cutie drank his share and grimaced at the strong taste, spitting part of it and coughing.

**URGENT **Measure Taken: try and soothe Cutie. Breathe in and out. Made him look at me (interesting color, his eyes... never had seen they're not really black but... chocolate) and join my rhythm, patting his back.

Partial Result: Success. Cutie calmed down and was ready for another shot.

Lesson Learned: of course Cutie had never drunk liquor before, not that I was surprised, no. Just didn't expect him to choke, hehe! Tho I have to admit he looked adorable, all frightened... then all thankful that I helped him.

Kept drinking (him more than me, of course, didn't want to get too wasted and end up losing opportunity to fuck him).

Following Step: the kiss.

Step-by-step Description of Action:

Cutie leaned over and lay head on my shoulder (looking adorably up to me).

Leaned down until noses touched.

Brushed lips on his, delicately.

Cutie a little surprised but didn't flinch.

Cutie tilted head up accepting the kiss (YAY!)

Kissed Cutie!!!

_Note: this is gonna sound fucking weird... I'm sure he had never kissed anyone before and certainly not a guy... so what I'm gonna say will sound really crazy but... Jesus H Christ! The motherfucker is a hell of a fucking kisser!!!! WHERE THE FUCK DID HE LEARN TO DO THAT THING WITH HIS TONGUE?? He's gotta be a natural! That was way, I mean WAY too good for a beginner... I have no idea how that happened and I also have no idea HOW LONG we were there, just kissing each other... This is creepy but I... lost track of time... Fuck! Do I sound like a girl? This shit is so fucking weird!_

_Note 2: wanna know something even stranger? I didn't even touch him! I didn't touch his dick, his ass, his nipples. I couldn't do anything; I just cupped his neck and kept on kissing him very, very slowly. At first I didn't want to scare him and have him finishing the kiss earlier than I had planned. But then, somehow, that was all that we did. We just stayed there, on the floor kissing each other until we couldn't feel our lips anymore!_

Unexpected Happening: Michael's mother caught us! KISSING!

**URGENT **Measure Taken: None (too stunned to do anything. We didn't hear her coming, until she was dragging us apart).

Result: mother's ranting. Kicked out of the house (she dragged Michael by the ear...)

_Note3: walked back home, heart racing a mile a minute! Completely sober by then... it's already 1:30 a.m. and I still can't get any sleep! Fuck!... I hope he's alright... I probably just fucked everything up, as usual. Bet he won't talk to me tomorrow... If I could just stop thinking... maybe I could get some sleep before dawn..._

_Note4: and as if none of these were enough, Jack wants me to go bowling with him tomorrow. Yeah, like I didn't need anything else to fuck up the rest of the fucking night. How am I gonna stand his gay-basher friends a whole evening, all by my fucking self, with no fucking soul my own age? Praying to not piss Pop off.... Especially now… that Michael… well, now that the only person I could possibly bring along won't talk to me anymore… Life sucks! Big fucking time!_

Chapter 5 – Expect the Unexpected 

Day-After Emergency Plan: Avoidance until ground is known

Step-by-step Description of Action:

Sat a few desks behind

Avoided glancing

Pretended to be reading all the time

Result: success. Michael approached me. Uncomfortable, but willing to know if I was okay.

_Note: how come he ask me if I was okay when it was HIS mother who caught us? Anyway, at least he's not grounded… or was hit. Maybe his mother knows he's gay… Can't imagine how it'd be like having a supportive parent. Surreal. _

Result Analysis: relief…

_Note2: still friends… surprisingly, he still tried to talk to me. I could swear he'd never even look into my eyes. Go figure…_

Lesson Learned: Michael is either crazy… or forgiveness does exist and nobody told me about it.

Last Minute Plan: invite Michael to come bowling

Walked Michael home to ask his mother in person… and apologize.

_Note3: does she freak me out! But hey, I'm Brian Kinney! It'll be a walk in the park. If I have to (blargh!) apologize to get into his pants, then, I'm all for it. If you saw that ass you wouldn't do much differently._

Step-by-Step Description of Action:

- Part 1

Entered the house, sheepish look, eyes downcast (fucking actor, that's what I am)

Apologized (for what I wasn't a tiny bit sorry and would surely have done the same if I could go back in time – only she wouldn't catch us this time)

Mother listened, stone faced, until I was done.

Partial Result: failed. Mother opened that big, red mouth and just wouldn't shut up! Told me I was trouble; that she never would want to even hear my name… if she didn't know Michael already liked me too much for his own sake. (_Note3: there're just no words to describe how stunned I was at hearing that_). She said she knew Michael was gay even before he realized that (huh?! Impossible!). Told me I was no good for him; that I'd just gonna hurt him.

_Note4: I stood up off the chair and was headed for the door when she asked me where I was going, cuz she wasn't finished. She then said that if Michael wanted to be my friend, she wouldn't oppose, though I was sure I wasn't her fave person…_

Lesson Learned: Michael is probably crazy and it's genetic! Other than that, she'll have to put up with me, and I bet this won't be our last "chat".

- Part 2

Asked Mother's permission for Michael to join me (and my father) at the bowling

Result: permission granted

Result Analysis: at least Jack serves for something (she'd never allow us to go had she known him…).

_Note5: I'm sure she only agreed to let Michael come to prove how supportive a parent she is. I hope he hasn't bought that. As nice as it might be having a parent that doesn't think shit of you, you still have to be aware when they're trying to "buy" you._

Lesson Learned: that Debbie must be kept at eyes' range…

Evening at the Bowling

Slow night (I suck at bowling, but Michael can be even worse!).

Boring night (except for Michael… especially when he bents over to clumsily throw the ball… what an ass... can't help but gape…)

Not even a shadow of a good shot.

Unexpected Happening: Jack goes to get some beers with his jackass friends and leaves us alone for a while (finally). I score a strike (had never done that before!). I'm thrilled. Michael's thrilled. We're jumping up and down. He hugs me. I kiss him. On. His. Motherfucking. Lips... Jack sees us… _A couple of fairies…_

**URGENT **Measure Taken: Run… I pushed Michael… as if he were the one who had kissed me… as if I hadn't wanted that… as if I hadn't initiated all that… I pushed him as if I was… disgusted of having kissed him, when in fact I… loved every minute.

_Note6: he fell. He fell to the floor when I pushed him. I pushed him too hard. I… Jack scared me. He fell butt first. And I just… ran, like the fairy that I am. I left Michael there, alone, all alone to face Jack. God, I hope he hasn't hurt him. I ran the fastest I could, back home. I locked myself in my room and pretended to be asleep. Jack got home, drunk as usual. Heard his voice but he didn't come look into my room. Thank God!_

Lesson Learned: Be careful, more than I already am, when around Jack.

_Note7: What a fucking disaster. I guess all my luck for the next year or so, ran out today. I doubt he'll ever want to see or talk to me again. Now it's final, I won't stand a chance, not after tonight. It's over, even before it began. It's gone. Michael's gone. A pity… he seemed like a nice guy. Yeah, but since when does Brian Kinney do nice guys, huh? I'm better off, it's not like there aren't plenty of other hotter, hornier guys waiting to be allowed to suck me. All I have to do is snap my fingers… All I want to know is if he's okay. I'll check on him tomorrow, that is, if I can get any sleep at all tonight._

Chapter 6 – And Wonders Never Cease…

_Saturday_

The Check Up

Step-by-step Description of Action

Sneaked through the backyard

Hid between the bushes

Waited

Saw Michael in the kitchen, drinking water, alone. Seemed okay, no bruises, no black eye, no marks on his arms

He caught me when I was just about to leave. Busted

Measure Taken: Act nonchalant.

Result: ??? (He invited me in… I… accepted. Deb was not there)

Lesson (yet to be) Learned: Why does he forgive me that easily?

_Note1: He'd run after me just as I fled the bowling… Never heard him… Never would have imagined he'd gone after me, not after what I'd done… I wanted to apologize, honestly… But I couldn't. Words wouldn't come out. That was when he read my mind, touched my hand and said "it's okay". When I looked up at him, he was wearing the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen. Damn! This so pathetic, I know. And that's not all… I kissed him again. He let me again. He kissed me back THAT way again (God, that tongue!) I… I… lost track… again… Pathetic, huh? Mikey was the one who pulled away. But I took hold of his neck and kept him near, forehead to forehead. That was when he said…_

Mikey's Brilliant Idea: Organize a Captain Astro Fan Club

Brian's Brilliant Idea: Help him out

_Note2: Well, at least I'd get to be close to that gorgeous ass..._

Measure Taken: do lame t-shirts with an even lamer Captain Astro drawing, of the lamest quality possible.

Result: the whole weekend spent around him, stealing kisses, "accidentally" touching him, talking, while preparing material for the fan club. Mikey read lots of Captain Astro/Galaxy Lad adventures to me. He did all the voices; it was like watching a cartoon. Got to lay my head on his lap.

_Note3: You know, the stories aren't that bad. Actually, Galaxy Lad and Astro are pretty good friends, inseparable. The Dynamic Duo, as Mikey says. They help and support each other, like true friends should. I got to see those lips moving… and they gave me a hard-on that I had to fucking disguise or I'd have just fucked his brains out, there on the damn floor of his damn room! _

Important Discovery: Mikey's face lit up when I remembered details of the first story he had read to me (I've always had a good memory – when it serves my purposes, of course). Potential future secret weapon??

_Note4: Fell asleep with him, in his bed. He woke me up, told me I should go home, that my parents would be worried about my absence (yeah, I wish. Little does he know.). I wanted to stay. Any place is better than Jack & Joan's. It was getting colder by the minute in the fucking Pitts, especially at that time in the morning (it was past two). I convinced him. I stayed the night. Best night of sleep I've had in so long I couldn't remember… snuggled in his arms…_

_Note5: Went back home as soon as I woke up the next day, so as not to raise any more suspicions. _

Chapter 7 – The Fiasco

Total fiasco of Captain Astro Fan Club

No members whatsoever

Michael and I were the only ones to wear that ridiculous shirt (now, who could blame them for not joining? Or better, where was my mind when I agreed with that? I know: in his ass…).

Result: Michael was crushed

Measure Taken: Comfort and reassurance (oh, the burdens of friendship…): I joined the club (the only member, I should say...)

Special Techniques: hugs, praises, kisses, tickling.

Usage of Secret Weapon: use of previous knowledge of Cap.Astro/ Galaxy Lad adventures to tell him how similar from them we could be.

Final Blow: "it doesn't matter if they don't care. I do."

Result: That perfect smile again.

Unexpected Result (from previous result): HE KISSED ME!!!!!

_Note: I wasn't expecting that. I mean, he never... that was the first... I was caught by surprise... It was soooooo good that I couldn't even move. When he pulled away, I followed his lips blindly, pulling him to me by his neck, resuming the kissing he'd started. He giggled, putting a hand on my chest, gaining some distance. And just like that, as if what he'd done hadn't just left me speechless (what I'll never in a million fucking ages, admit to anyone, until I die!), he swung his arm on my neck and walked us back home..._

_Note2: The rest of the evening was spent in his room, with more Captain Astro stories to memorize. What wouldn't I do for an ass… _

Lesson Learned 1: NEVER wear lame t-shirts with lame amateur drawings on it, and sweat afterwards. NEVER rub your chest that hard again… the stupid drawing won't come out and you'll only rub yourself raw.

Lesson Learned 2: Michael's kisses must have some strange, not yet identified, substance that might be addicting and cause slight brain damage...

Chapter 8 – My Lucky Day (finally!)

Went to Michael's after school, as usual.

He wanted to show me something.

We went up to his room

He pulled out a women's magazine (yuck!) his mother got from the beauty parlor she goes to

Patrick Swayze bare chest! (my, my, Mikey has good taste!)

Brian's Reaction: woody

Michael's Reaction: woody

Approach Technique: "Let's do something about this"

Step-by-Step Description of Action

"Patrick Swayze is so hot" whispered in his ear

Magazine removed

Got Michael gently laid on the bed

Fly opened

Hand digging in and finding…

_Note: THE most perfect dick I EVER had in my hands! Never seen anything so beautiful!_

Stroking, gently at first so as not to scare him

_Note2: He kept on looking at me with those_ _adorable button eyes. Large with anticipation, dark and wet, all for me. All because of what I was doing to him. I heard him panting slightly. Lips parted. God! So hot!_

Leaned in to kiss him

Sped up when he moaned in my mouth

_Note3: That was it. I was gonna fuck him. When the idea hit me, I felt a sudden heat starting at my stomach going down to my groin… My fucking hand shook, but I'm sure he didn't realize that. Or so I hope._

Unexpected Happening: Mother opened the door. Busted!

**URGENT **Measure Taken: Shot up (no, not literally! We sat down, that is) in bed, pretending to be doing nothing.

_Note4: Scare of my fucking lifetime! Goddamn it! Can't this woman knock? What the fuck is wrong with her??_

_Note5: There's no way she couldn't have seen what we were doing. I mean, it was obvious! I know she saw what we were doing. Or better what I was doing to Mikey. Instead, she acted as there was nothing wrong with her son lying in bed with his best friend jerking him off. She had a pile of clothes in her arms, so I guess she just buried her head there to avoid catching us and having to deal with it. I wonder if she didn't simply hear us moaning from the outside and decided to break in and interrupt us._

Final Result: Failure

Lesson Learned: LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_Note6: Weird, awkward feeling after that... Mikey was pale... hesitant. I... I didn't know what to do. I hope I haven't showed it. I wanted to finish that so badly, but when I looked into his eyes, they were big with fear. It was as if I had stepped a line I wasn't supposed to. I felt... I don't know how I felt... It was weird... He was different... embarrassed. Said I'd better leave... in that tiny voice. I didn't want to leave, not like that. I tried to remain close but he gently pushed me away, avoiding me. I apologized but he cut me off placing those tempting fingers on my lips, "don't, Brian. Don't say anything." Then he asked me to go. I saw his eyes watering... I can't describe what that did to me... The rest of the day was a total shit. I was sure I'd lost him... forever..._

Chapter 9 – The Day After

_Note1: Didn't sleep much… dreamt a lot… woke up many times during the night. Dreams of Mikey… nightmares… had to check upon him. Couldn't wait to meet him at the bus stop… He wasn't there when I arrived. Strange. I always arrive earlier than him: he always oversleeps and I always wake up earlier than I have to (anything to flee the Kinney's, anything!). Waited and waited… nothing… School bus arrived. I asked the driver to wait a while to see if Mikey was coming, but it was no use. So I decided to skip class and go to his house. Something must have been wrong… Grounded? Sick?_

At the Novotny's, no sign of Debbie's car. Windows closed. No one in the kitchen, either.

No lights at Mikey's window.

Threw some rocks at it. Nothing.

Decided to climb the tree at the backyard, to look through his bedroom window. No sign of him, but the bed was undone as if he'd just gotten up.

Pushed the window open and got inside: captain Astro curtains swaying to the wind; backpack on the desk (so he hadn't really gone to school …); jacket hanging on the chair; comics on the nightstand… all too familiar…

Sat on the bed. His bed…

_Note2: it was still warm. I could almost feel his body's shape when I traveled my hand on the sheets. The pillow was still slightly deformed. I'm sure if I lowered myself a bit I could still feel his scent. Fuck if I didn't do just that! But to my luck, my foot slipped on something on the floor. Thus, before I fell head first on his bed - and was caught smelling my friend's pillowcase - I was forced to put a hand on the bed to steady myself, halfway of disaster. _

_Note3: Patrick Swayze. He was under the bed, or almost. I mean, the magazine. The one to blame for me getting my hands on Mikey… and the sole responsible for the mess I was in, so to speak._

Unexpected Happening: Michael entered the room (dripping from head to toe, with so much as a towel wrapped around his slim hips, hanging low bellow his beautiful belly button. My God, what a vision!)

Brian's Reaction: GASP! Accelerated heart beating.

Michael's Reaction: GASP! Immediate stoppage at doorway.

Measure Taken: act nonchalant. Execute Plan A

_Note4: although I was dying to rush to him and completely lick him dry (does that make any sense??), I knew better than to scare him like that. 'Sides, it was very likely that I might end up… raping him… now how awful was that? Pathetic…_

Step-by-Step Description of Action:

Plan A: To the Movies:

_Little Explanation: there's this little underground-like theater that only shows movies that don't show in large theaters – if you know what I mean. So they have sessions starting as early as 9:00 o'clock, and movies as cool as Tuff Turf, Repo Man and The Outsiders – the one I intended to take him to see today._

Check if everything was (yesterday after I left) / is (reason why he didn't go to school: didn't feel like going, told mother he was sick – very un-Mikey…) okay.

Check if mother would come by ("No." YAY!)

Casually: "how about a movie?"

Casually: "yeah, sure… why not?"

_Note5: to tell the truth… there was something about Michael... the way he looked at me, the way he moved about the room… I don't know. Something was not right, like it was not the same Mikey I knew before. I'm not stupid; I know things have changed since what happened yesterday. But still…_

At the Movies

_There's no way I can describe what happened there but narrating the facts exactly as they were…_

_We found a spot at our favorite part of the theater: the balcony. Sitting side by side, as usual, we started watching the movie. Even with all the suspicions about Mikey's odd behavior plaguing my mind, I decided it was better to brush it off and focus on the film – which I had seen half a dozen times and never got sick of. Whatever it was going on with him, he would eventually let it show, he always did – that much I knew about him._

_It was when I was begging to relax and enjoy Ponyboy and Johnny's adventures, that I felt it: the heat of his body coming closer to me. At first it was all there was: just his presence, too close to pass unnoticed. Then came the touch: soft, just the side of his knee and thigh brushing and gluing against mine. I swear I tried to ignore it. It was probably nothing, just an accident, he'd surely realize we were too close and move away, like he always did… but no, not that time. His unmoving thigh seemed to burn all my lower body, igniting it into action, giving it a life of its own. I watched, almost surprised, as my shin moved to press against his, causing our bodies to be even more in contact._

_As the movie – that mind you, I wasn't even paying attention to anymore – went on, our arms that innocently laid on the armrest searched each other bringing with them our shoulders. I'm sure he could hear my breathing, especially because of my damn deviated septum..._

_We stilled ourselves for a while and I almost thought that that was all he would be able to do. But when I felt his fingers entwine with mine… well… that made my heart skip a beat. It was as if that last and small gesture was the final touch to completely mess up with my head, and what I thought Mikey wanted of me. I was so shocked by the way he was coming on to me that I couldn't hold myself and for the first time, I turned my head to look him in the eye and ask what the hell was going on._

_That was precisely the point where everything changed. When I turned to face Mikey, he was already looking at me. My sudden movement practically made our noses touch. We were sharing the same breath, so close we were. His breath smelled of mint… and Mikey. Even startled, I didn't dare move, I couldn't. I was paralyzed, hypnotized, and dying to…_

_He kissed me. So tentatively, so sweetly, so slowly, so… Mikey, so deliciously Mikey. I lost myself in that kiss. I allowed him to do whatever he wanted to my mouth. It was all I'd been thinking about since I first saw him today. Thinking again, I didn't allow him anything, I had absolutely no say in his actions, but who said I wanted to?_

_He kept on kissing and kissing me for what seemed to be an eternity, softly playing with my tongue, caressing my lips with his, licking and nibbling them. (I'm not sure but I guess I heard someone moaning; now the hard part was to know who was doing that, me or him.) It was so perfect that I don't think I'll ever forget that kiss as long as I live…_

_However, it was too perfect to stay as sweet and innocent as it had started. When Mikey pulled me by the neck and deepen his long tongue down my throat, reality came crushing on me. We couldn't be doing that! So I pulled away, panting, flushed, painfully hard and startled._

"_No!" I whispered, shocked with his actions. "Mikey, no." That was all I could say between short breaths._

"_Why not?" He asked with those sad puppy dog eyes, still filled with lust._

"_Because… Mikey… We… You…" I stuttered silly._

"_I-I see… You… don't think I'm… hot enough…" he said that and looked down to his hands, that were now on his lap._

"_What??" I couldn't believe what I was hearing! "Who the fuck told you that??"_

"_No one. I can figure it out by myself. I may not be as clever as you are but I'm not stupid, Brian. I know when someone doesn't think I'm hot – believe me, a lot don't even notice me." He babbled on nervously._

"_Mikey, you're hot enough… You're way more than that…" I answered back, dumbfounded._

"_Yeah," He smiled, sarcastically. "I can see that. I must be so hot that I ended up fucking burning you when I kissed you, for you to pull away like that." He said looking back at the screen._

_That was when I went for the jugular._

"_You want to know how hot you are?" I asked him, defiantly. "Here." I said, grabbing his hand and placing it firmly against my still rock-hard cock. "This is how hot you are!" I said, staring into his dark eyes._

_He was shocked to find out how hard I was. Shocked and embarrassed at my act. He took back his hand as if it had been burnt, but he didn't dare break our gaze._

"_Then… why can't we do this? I don't understand." _

"_Because… Mikey… we're friends… and friends don't fuck."_

_Neither one of us was able to watch the movie anymore. Nor were we able to touch or talk to each other again. We left the theater lost in our thoughts and we walked to his house in deafening silence._

_When we got to the Novotny's, Mikey went up the few steps that led to the patio and proceeded to unlock the front door. Before he opened it, he turned around to say good-bye, but he was stopped mid-way through it. I was following him close and when I saw those lips again, I couldn't not to kiss them. I grasped him by his jacket and pulled him in a deep kiss – this time it was me the one who deep-throated him. The kiss was so demanding that I felt myself almost climbing him. Luckily, my other hand was holding him by the head, or he would have bumped it on the door. His hands were roaming to every part of my body, back to butt. I was so hard that I thought I would explode when I felt his dick, just as hard, pressing against me. And that was exactly when the alarm went off in my head: it was time to stop or…_

_I broke the kiss, with Mikey still in my arms. His eyes were close in delight and his lips still sought mine. It was tempting. He was almost swooning when I let go of him. We were both panting. With my lips still touching his I said…_

"_Friends don't fuck… but they can still kiss each other goodbyet… can't they, Mikey?"_

_Without opening his eyes, Mikey smiled and whispered, "Yeah…"_

_So I started walking backwards, watching that lovely smile he'd put on for me and me alone, while lazily leaning on the door, watching me go… I'm sure I had a twin of that silly smile on my bruised lips as well…_

_And now you ask me what the fuck happened to the great Brian Kinney who would seek and destroy, fucking that sweet virgin ass of Michael Novotny… Fuck if I know what happened! The only thing I know is that Mikey is different. He's different. He's different from all others... that's what he is (can't believe I just wrote that). I can't just fuck him. He's Mikey, not a John. He's the only one who gives a shit. He's the only one I give a shit about. He matters. Whatever it is that we have I just don't want to screw up. Not this time. _

_Besides, how do I know if he doesn't only want to fuck me? I know he likes me and I know he has the hots for me. Well, so do I, for him. Only he has no clue about how hard he makes me when he touches me, when he kisses me (well, maybe now he has some idea… God, I get hard just thinking about it.) How do I know that if I give him what he wants he won't simply leave me, never bothering to fuck me again?… well, he may fuck me a few times afterwards 'cause, let's face it, I'm fucking good at it. But the thing is: what then? What will there be for me after he knows me that way? How will I still have him by my side after he gets what he wants from me? Won't he just get sick and tired of me once the mystery is gone?_

_No, I can't do that. I'd lose him… I can't lose him. Not yet… Not ever… He matters… too damn much… for my own sake… Sex I can have everywhere, with whoever the fuck I want. But Mikey, well, Mikey is something else. I'll never have with anybody else what I have with him. With the others it's only sex, with Mikey it's real… Damn it! I'm so screwed!_


End file.
