


Commitment

by TraceEFS



Category: Queer as Folk
Genre: Drama, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2006-05-08
Updated: 2007-11-29
Packaged: 2013-09-29 00:46:55
Rating: M
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,126
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2929707/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1038942/TraceEFS
Summary: Nervous, Brian flys to New York to see Justin's first gallery opening.





	1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer. The writer sadlyunderstands that she has no ownership of the _Queer as Folk_ characters, as they belong soley to the their wonderful creators. Thank you.

After finding his seat in the first class section, Brian Kinney sat down and placed the roses he had bought on an impulse on the seat next to him. Sighing, he looked out of the rain spattered airplane window, questioned himself again on whether or not he should be flying to New York. Brian Kinney was not known for self-reflection, or at least, didn't make a habit of it. Justin had asked him to go to his first gallery opening. So he was going. That's what lovers and partners did and Brian would not let Justin down, even if it did make him queasy. He had long since stopped questioning himself about his love for Justin. He just did. It was not something that he had to question anymore. The war he had raged against himself and his feelings was long over. Justin was the most important person in his life other than his son, Gus. He just was.

It had been over six months since they had seen each other. Before they had parted, Brian had told Justin that it didn't matter if they saw each other the next weekend, the next month, or never again. It was only time. But Brian knew that time could kill the most heated of passions. It killed him to think that things would never be the same between them since their circumstances had changed again, and that Justin may not need him anymore.

Luckily, Justin was an excellent at long distance relationships. He made a point to call Brian at least twice a day. They usually talked during Brian's lunch. Over the months they had gotten particularly good at phone sex. Justin also left daily messages on Brian's answering machine for when he came home at night. These messages were often brief, sometimes just a few words. I love you or I miss you. Buy bread, you're almost out.

As hard as Brian tried not to, he had become to expect those messages. The fear that some day the messages would suddenly stop was paralyzing and occasionally, Brian thought about telling Justin to stop calling altogether. That they had to move on. The cynic in him constantly beat a path to the door of his mind, telling him to lash out; to rage at Justin for leaving him for his dream of being part of the art scene of New York. But he fought against those impulses. He had told Justin to go. He wanted the younger man to be everything that he could. The urge to love Justin made it impossible to do anything that might hurt him. Justin had pulled down all of Brian's walls of selfishness and indifference and had forced him to realize what was important in his life. The battle was over. Justin had won. Justin had made Brian a better man.

Although he was not prone to small romantic gestures, Brian had sent Justin several care packages. The first included roach traps, canned soup, and bottled water; a tongue-in-cheek response to Justin's descriptions of his studio apartment. Later, he had sent the younger man art supplies with the simply scrawled note stating for Justin to paint him something pretty. When Justin had sent him a small self-portrait Brian had had it framed.

"Those are awfully pretty flowers. Are you bringing them to someone special?" The pretty fight attendant asked him interrupting his brooding. Over the years, she had become used to obviously rich, high-powered, good-looking men traveling to New York City. But there was something about this man sitting in section D that made her insides twist. She had noticed him when he boarded the plane. It wasn't often that she felt flustered by a passenger, but there was something about this man that oozed extra sex appeal. There was something that made you want to do everything you could in order to please him. His dark bedroom eyes held yours till you thought that you'd drown in them. Oh yes. This was a man that was good looking and knew it, but wasn't using it to his advantage at the current moment. Unfortunately for her, she thought.

"I'm sorry?" Brian asked, not hearing her question.

"Your flowers. They're very pretty. They must be for someone special."

With a shake of his head, Brian smiled at her. "Yes. He is."

The flight attendant sighed. What a waste. Why did all the perfect ones have to be gay? She smiled at him and then asked, "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Scotch. Thank you," he replied after a moment's hesitation. He hoped that the scotch would do something for his nerves. Christ, he thought., has it really come to this? What had become of the Teflon Brian Kinney? The one who didn't give a shit about what people thought, or their feelings? Before, Brian would have mocked everything, including himself, for the nerves. Being nervous made you weak and stupid. It made you make bad decisions, and if you were going to make bad decisions, at least make them for the right reasons.

Nodding, the flight attendant went to get Brian his drink. When she came back, she smiled again at him and handed him a crystal glass filled with the amber liquid.

"Here you are sir. We'll be departing in a moment. Is there anything else I can get you?" She asked hopefully. A girl could dream, she thought.

"No. This is fine," he said looking up at her. He gave her a dismissive half smile. He could tell that she was interested in him. He always could, but tonight, with so much at stake, he wasn't willing to play. With Justin on his mind, he didn't have time for straight women or flirtations.

"Sure thing. Let me know if you change your mind. We'll be departing shortly."

Brian nodded again and then contemplated the amber liquid in his glass. He was not particularly fond of the beverage, but he drank it down quickly. He could feel the plane start to push back from the gate and half listened to the pilot asking for the attendants to make the cabin ready. There was no turning back now. He was leaving Pittsburgh, and in less than two hours, he would be in New York City. In less than four he would be with Justin again. Closing his eyes, he let his mind drift over some of his memories of Justin and their life together.

He thought back to the first night they were together. Brian had been under the influence, and Justin had been underage. Gus had been born that night. It never stopped amazing him that Justin had named his son. That even if they hadn't gotten together, Justin still would have left a mark on his life in some way.

Brian then thought about Justin's prom. How beautiful it had been to dance with him under the hot lights of the dance floor. How beautiful not to have to hide who they were, to shock all of the homophobes at the high school.

With a wince, Brian remembered seeing Justin's bashing. Watching his lover's head be hit with a baseball bat and seeing him fall to the ground was something that he hadn't been able to forget. The horror foiled the beauty of the night as perfectly as a Shakespeare villain. That night, he hadn't known if Justin was going to live. God, what a terrible waste that would have been, he thought. The damage to the blonde's hand still was something that he lived with.

Brian knew that Justin still struggled with physical therapy exercises and that sometimes it still hurt him to paint. That was part of why the gallery opening was so important. It wasn't just to show a brilliant young artist's talent. It was to also show his triumph. Brian felt the pride swell in his chest. It was one more reason that Brian loved him.


	2. Chapter 2

Then Brian thought about other times that they had had together. He thought about their arguments. Arguing was the third best thing that they did together. He barely count how many times that they had broken up and then gotten back together. Justin was his bad penny. No matter how hard Brian had pushed him, Justin hadn't backed down or caved in. It had even been him who had broken up with Brian the first time. Darkly, Brian thought about Ethan, the violinist Justin had left him for briefly. But even after Justin had left, he was still there. Random clothes somehow in a bedroom drawer, his shampoo in the shower, or art books on the bookshelves. Justin had made is mark over the years in Brian's home, as well as his life.

They had been together during their darkest moments. He thought about when he had gotten sick with testicular cancer. Brian had done his best to push Justin away. He had even gone so far as to throw Justin out of the loft. But after a day of putting up with Brian's bullshit, Justin had come back, with a vengeance. Weak and sick from the cancer treatments, Brian had come home to find Justin making him soup. Brian had raged and there had been a struggle. Justin yelled at him for shutting him out, telling him that having a ball removed was the least of his imperfections- that they had a commitment. Brian finally got the message. He had gone to bed, ate the soup, and finally let Justin take care of him. Brian understood then that he wasn't protecting Justin by shutting him out. He was only taking his choices away. Brian liked to consider it a moment of clarity.

The bombing of Babylon had been another clarifying moment for Brian. He had been on his way to the airport when he heard the report over the radio. An unknown assailant had bombed the club during a fundraising concert. The reporter barked over the airwaves that there was no way of telling how many were dead or alive and that there were many people injured. Brian had been terrified. All of his friends had been there. His best friend, Michael and his partner, Ben, Teddy, Emmett, Deb, and Gus' mothers, Melanie and Lindsay had all told him that they were going. But worse, so had Justin. Quickly he had the driver turn around and head back towards Liberty Avenue.

When he got to Babylon he was embraced by chaos. Police cars and ambulances filled the area with their lights flashing. In his search for Justin, he thought for sure that he would never see the younger man again. Never hold him again; never tell him how important that he was. But then Brian had found Justin covered with dirt and debris, his face scratched and bloodied. They embraced letting all of their issues had fall away. All that mattered was that Justin was safe. Later that night, amidst the ruins of the club that they had all loved so dearly, Brian had told Justin that he loved him for the first time. It was a monumental declaration, one that could only be done after a monumental event.

The plane jostled with turbulence briefly, breaking his thoughts and making Brian aware of his surroundings once more. There were several others in first class with him closest to him was a good-looking man looked intensely at a spreadsheet and an over weight woman turned the page of the romance novel that she was reading. From her flush, he could tell she was at a particularly juicy spot. Props, Brain thought. Everybody needs a prop. He looked down at his own, the roses he had bought for Justin. He had never bought Justin flowers before, unless he counted their wedding flowers.

Justin had wanted some Asian flowers, something to bring them luck, or fidelity, or some shit like that. Brian had wanted him to get whatever he wanted. Justin had agreed to marry him and that was all that mattered. Brian had meant it when he told Justin that he would do anything, say anything, and be anything that Justin wanted. He had almost lost Justin to a bashing and then to a bombing. Brian was not about to chance losing him forever, even if it did mean giving up parts of himself that he held most dear. Brian thought of it as a worthy cause.

But Justin hadn't. It had been Justin who had instigated their discussion that had lead to their engagement ending. In the end, Justin decided to move to New York, and Brian to stay in Pittsburgh. Justin had told him that they didn't need rings, or vows to prove that they loved each other. Brian had understood, but kept the rings. Occasionally, he wore his on his right hand much like he still wore a bracelet that Michael had given him when they were teenagers.

He had chosen not to wear his ring tonight. He had not wanted to seem too sentimental. His sentimentality had its limits. He reached over and picked up the roses to better study them. They were deep red and perfect like expensive roses should be, their smell rich and fragrant. He thought about what Justin would look like when he gave them to him. Suddenly, his nerves came back. What if Justin didn't want them or thought that they were a stupid gesture? What if had only asked to come out of pity or because he had invited everyone else? Brian knew he was being stupid. Nervously, he bit his lip.

The captain came on the intercom to tell them that they were going to have some delay due to the weather, that when they got closer to New York, they would have to go into a holding pattern. Brian winced when the captain said that there could be up to an hour wait. He was already pushing the time limit as it was, choosing to stay at the office until an important client had left. The meeting had run on and on until his trusted secretary, Cynthia told him that if he wanted to make it to the airport on time he had better fly and let her handle the rest of the client's needs. Teddy, also invited to Justin's opening also had already left two days before, wanting a weekend away with his lover, Blake.

Justin had invited everyone from their group of friends to come, and most had agreed. Michael and Ben had brought their son, Hunter, the day before so that they could show Hunter the city and look at colleges. Deb and her live-in-boyfriend, Carl Hovath had gone with them, Deb saying that there was "no fuckin' way" that she was going to miss "Sunshine's night." Even Emmett was attending with his boyfriend, Calvin. The fabulously Gay man joking that he had always wanted to go to Queens. The only ones not attending were Melanie and Lindsay. They were still confined to Canada until their citizenship was processed. Brian was sorry for that since it meant not seeing Gus, even though he had seen him only a few weeks prior when a business trip took him to Toronto.

The delay was nothing short of terrible timing. He had planned on getting there fashionably late, but now it seemed like he might be very fashionable. As much as Brian was nervous about attending, he was even more upset about possibly letting Justin down.

Looking at the seat in front of him, he pulled the hook holding a on-board telephone. Reading the directions quickly he followed them and punched in the number to Justin's cell phone.

As he expected, Justin's voice mail picked up instead of the blonde himself.

"Hey this is Justin. Make it short and simple," the voice message said.

"Justin. It's Brian. I'm in the air, but it looks like there's going to be a delay. I'll get there when I can. Save some champagne for me," Brian said after a pause.

Brian hung up the phone and placed it back to holder. Putting his head back against the seat, he closed his eyes. There was nothing that he could do to make the plane land any sooner. There was nothing that he could do if Justin had changed. The only thing that he could do was wait.


	3. Chapter 3

The plane jostled again, the turbulence becoming more aggressive. Brian kept his eyes closed and tried to slow his breathing. Patience was not a virtue in the world of Kinney. He was a man who liked getting what he wanted, when he wanted it, and at the moment he wanted to be on the fucking ground. He wanted to be with Justin. When the pilot announced a further delay he thought that he'd scream.

When the plane finally was able to land, almost three hours later than it normally would have, Brian jumped from his seat and twisted to open the overhead compartment for his overnight bag. Impatiently, Brian tried to push his way off the plane. He had to get out of there. As it was, he was going to miss most of the opening. That was bad enough.

"Excuse me! Mister! You forgot something," called a voice behind him. Twisting his head around, he looked at back. The overweight woman with the romance novel held up the roses he had forgotten.

"You don't want to leave those," she said with a flirtatious smile.

"No," he said hurriedly, " I wouldn't. Thanks."

The woman smiled again. She wondered briefly what it would be like for the person receiving the roses from such a handsome man. Hopelessly romantic she was sure.

Brain nodded at the woman before turning back and exiting the plane. Every instinct in his body was screaming. Go! Racing up the tunnel and past the gate, he fought the crowds. The sea of bodies ebbed and flowed, each trying to get where they needed to go without caring if the got into somebody else's way, if they made somebody else late.

Brian hurtled himself to the exit, his bag and the roses, held tightly in his hands. The rain howled around the taxis waiting for the people leaving the airport. The rain began to soak him also, leaving his skin cold and clammy. Still holding onto the roses, he used his hand to flip his now damp hair back from his face to better look into an empty cab nearest to him. Opening the door, he tossed his bag in and threw himself and the roses in next. Slamming the door, he quickly gave the driver the address and told him if he wanted any kind of tip he's better get a move on.

"Such a rush!" The cabbie muttered under his breath, "Everyone is always in such a rush."

Brian ignored him and took out his cell phone. There were several missed call messages waiting for him. He scrolled down the list of numbers recognizing all of them. The first was Michael's cell, and the second was from Ted. The third was from the office. There was no call from Justin. Damn. Brain bit his lip again and hit the button on the phone to listen to his voice mail.

Michael's voice came on first, party noises in the background, "Damn it Brian! Where the fuck are you? The gallery opening's started! If you have decided at the last minute to bail… well, it would be pretty shitty, even for you. You'd better call me."

Sighing, Brian deleted his best friend's message and listened to the next one. Ted's voice came on worried and fierce, "Hey Brian, it's Ted. Just wondering where the hell you are. Justin's here. Everybody's here. We're all thinking that you've gone to Ibiza again or something… Cynthia said that you went to the airport… call us, okay?"

Not wanting to deal with work issues, Brian closed his cell phone to hang it up. With a thought, he opened it back and hit the speed dial for Justin's cell. Impatiently, he listened to the rings only to hear the blonde's voice mail pick up again. Why didn't he answer? It wasn't like him not to have his cell with him. Tersely, Brian spoke into the phone when the tone sounded.

"I'm on my way," he said and hung up the phone.

"How much longer till we get there?" Brian asked with a clipped tone.

"With this traffic and weather? You're looking at almost an hour, may be more."

"Shit!" Brian cried. He pulled out his pack of cigarettes and his silver lighter from his jacket pocket. Quickly, he lit the cigarette dragging on it quickly, letting the smoke fill his lungs. Miserably, he thought of disappointing Justin. He breathed out the smoke, trying to let it relax him more. It didn't work.

"You know those things will kill you," the cabbie said, his accent thick, pronouncing 'you' like 'ya.' The man looked at Brian through the rearview mirror. He made no mention of the large "thank you for not smoking" sign posted on the panel separating them. He knew this type of man, and knew that he wouldn't think that the sign applied to him. He figured that the argument wasn't worth losing a tip over it.

"I can only hope so," Brian replied sourly, then pulling another drag. He'd be damned before he let some stranger lecture him on smoking or anything else. He did what he wanted, when he wanted. He was Brian Kinney for fuck's sake. He took another drag and then another, before rolling down his window and tossing the cigarette butt out.

He contemplated calling Michael or Ted, but then thought against it. They had already been willing to believe that he wasn't coming, that he was going to willingly let Justin down by not showing. He had called Justin that was what mattered. He did not think that he would call again. Brian had to believe that he still had some standards for himself, even if he was feeling vulnerable.

Brian turned his head and looked out of the rain-covered window. He wondered about the different pieces of art that Justin would have on display. Justin had always downplayed his work, not wanting to talk about it, not even when he had been given a rave review in an important art magazine. The small gallery opening had been no exception, which was why Brian had known it was so important.

Brian thought back momentarily to the first time he had seen something that Justin had made. It had been in an exhibit for the Gay and Lesbian Center, a charcoal drawing of Brian sleeping naked. The image had been lovingly done, with no part of his body left out. Hard angles, and flat planes were met with shadow and light, captured forever in a youthful interpretation. Brian had bought the image and placed it in his loft.

"How much longer?" Brian asked the driver suddenly.

"Not much farther. This rain isn't helping. Keep your pants on."

Brian thought about saying something sarcastic to the man, but held his tongue. He combed his fingers through his hair again. This unending trip, to get to Justin was about to be over. He would know soon if they still had a real chance together. He would know soon if they were both just kidding themselves.

Finally, the cab came to a stop. Digging into his pocket, Brian pulled a wad of cash out, and after quickly counting it, tossed it at the driver through the window. Again, he stepped into the rain, and pulling his bag and the roses with him. His stomach knotted as he walked quickly to the building that held the gallery.

Light poured through the tall floor length windows. Brian squinted his eyes a looked at the posters advertising the opening. There was Justin Taylor, with the blurred city of New York at his back. Under his name was the name of the show. _Commitment._ Brian sucked in his breath and read the show's name again. Not willing to wait anymore, Brian stepped to the glass door and pulled it open.

The small room was filled with people buzzing and moving from painting to painting. Brian scanned the crowd. Immediately, he saw Michael and Ben, talking with Hunter. He saw Emmett flirting with Calvin over a drink, and Teddy with Blake. Spotting Debbie quickly by her bright red hair, he then saw Justin.

Justin had his back to the door, his faced tilted to better hear something that Debbie was saying to him. Brian caught her eye. Noticing her eye movement to something behind him, Justin turned. Instantly, he beamed at Brian and started towards him. Brian dropped the roses and his bag with a thud and went to embrace his lover.


	4. Chapter 4

Brian and Justin embraced quickly. Brian's hand went into Justin's hair, pulling his head back to have better access to the blonde's mouth. Justin wove his arms around Brian, his fingers clutching at the soft material of Brian's dress shirt. The frustrations Brian had felt for the last few hours fueled the kiss, making it edgy and powerful. For that moment, neither of them noticed anyone else, nor did they care who was there, or who may be watching. They were together. Finally.

Pulling back from the kiss, Brian let his hand fall to the back of Justin's neck then brought his forehead rest on Justin's and took a deep breath. Also breathing hard, Justin continued to hold on to Brian but now he let his hands loosen on Brian's shirt. Pulling back further, Brian looked into Justin's face. Justin's eyes were closed and his relief was evident in his smile.

"You're late," Justin said opening his eyes to look at Brian. He smiled brighter as Brian tilted his head cockily and smirked at him.

"I'm here," said Brian, cupping Justin's face with his hand, his thumb grazing Justin's cheek.

"Well, it's about fuckin' time," huffed Debbie, her indignation covering up her relief that Brian had come to the opening, "what the hell is the matter with you being late to such a big night?"

Brian looked at Debbie, the woman who had been more of a mother to him than his own had been and gave her a classic Kinney look of annoyance. After the time he had getting here he'd be damned if he took shit from her or anyone else. From behind her, Brian could see Michael coming to his rescue.

"He's here now, and that's all that matters," said Justin warmly. He had total faith that Brian would arrive. He reached up and took hold of Brian's hand, squeezed and then let it go. Justin knew that Brian Kinney didn't hold hands.

"Justin's right. Lay off Ma," said Michael, putting his arm around Deb and squeezing, "always have to make an entrance don't you Brian?" Michael quipped, his eyes sparkling with humor and relief. He leaned over and kissed Brian lightly. Michael could tell that Brian was fairly radiating with tension, and it would be better for everyone to leave him and Justin alone. "Come on Ma. I want you to see the painting Justin did of you protesting."

Michael took Debbie's arm and started to pull her towards Ben and Hunter who were already looking at Debbie's portrait.

Still somewhat indignant, Debbie frowned. She wasn't going to let Brian get off the hook that easily, even if he had come in holding roses. The expensive flowers still lay on the floor where Brian had dropped them. Craning her neck around, she looked at Brian intensely, "Well are you at least going to give Sunshine his flowers?" she asked with exasperation.

"That was the plan," Brian muttered, and then turned back to pick up the slightly crushed roses. Walking back towards Justin, he held them up softly asking, "You want your flowers Sunshine?"

Justin bit his lip and then shook his head yes and murmured his thanks. He knew that for Brian to bring him roses, Brian was feeling fairly impulsive and possibly insecure. Justin smiled again and kissed Brian quickly, "they're beautiful Brian. I really love them."

As wonderful as having his own gallery opening was, it was now even more intensely wonderful because Brian was here to share it with him. He felt powerful and thrilled to have Brian there to share in his triumph. He only hoped that he could show Brian how much he still needed him in his life, that the words he told him six months ago were still true, that they didn't need rings or vows to prove that they loved each other. They had gotten past that.

"Come on," said Justin, "I want to show you everything and show you off to everyone."

Justin quickly led Brian away, introducing him to various important art critics and others in the local art scene. Brian played nice, and pretended that he didn't notice that everyone was watching them. He small talked, sipped wine, and tired to behave, which proved difficult, as being a snob was one thing, and he knew that he was, but being surrounded by them was another.

Justin then started showing him the paintings that he was most proud of. They were done mostly in oils and in a variety of different shapes and sizes. Over and over again, Justin had painted different series of images and concepts of the word_ Commitment. _The ones that struck Brian the most were the images that Justin had painted of people that they knew. There were images of Debbie and Justin's mother, Jennifer, protesting, holding there own against anti-Gay protesters. The images of the women showed strength and resilience. These women were fighting for their children's rights, and they were not about to stop.

There were paintings of Michael, Ben, and Hunter standing together as a family, a stop Proposition 14 sign in their yard. Chillingly, Justin had painted an image of Michael wounded from the Babylon bombing and Ben sitting next to his hospital bed, his face ebbing with grief and worry. Other images of Michael showed him standing in front of a podium speaking out against violence and about Gay rights.

Then there were several of Emmett and Ted laughing and sharing coffee at the Liberty Diner. Their friendship clearly painted.

Lovingly, three of the paintings held images of Mel and Lindsay together. The first held just the women, arms wrapped around each other. Next, came a picture of the women with Gus holding their hands. Lastly, was an image of the family, now with Jenny Rebecca snuggled in Mel's arms.

At each image, Brian was struck by the sheer talent of his lover. The paintings had been done with care and precision, forcing the viewer to see the commitment of the individuals' lives. See the importance of their choices. Pride filled Brian's chest. Again and again, he was struck by awe. This was why it had been so important for Justin to come to New York. Justin's talents had to be shared with the world. Anything less would be unthinkable.

"What do you think?" Justin questioned cautiously while they stood in front of the last painting of Mel, Lindsay, Gus, and Jenny Rebecca. Brian intently looked how Justin had painted his son. Freckled and grinning up at the viewer. There was a hint of the good looking man that he would become.

He had asked Brian his opinions about his art before and had only gotten a pointed, "would you like it better if I liked it?" response. The statement had been made during one of their many break ups. Justin remembered saying that he would still like the painting even if Brian didn't, and had been rewarded with Brian's typical honest opinion.

"They're all beautiful Justin. I'm really amazed by you," Brian told him honestly.

Justin smiled warmly. Although he didn't need the compliment, it still pleased him greatly. The man he loved was proud of him. Amazed by him. Justin felt like he could take on the world.

"I want to show you the rest," Justin said. He leads Brian to the crowded room to where people were focused on what he felt was truly his best work. Large canvases held images of men dancing together at Babylon. Lights moved over their bodies, while slashes of confetti rained down on them. The images were dynamic, throbbing, inviting the viewer to join in the celebration of life and sex. In the forefront of the canvas, drawing the viewer's eye was the sight of two men interlocked, mouths fused and hands clutching. It was obvious after seeing the two men, who they were. Brian looked at the canvas and saw himself kissing Justin, surrounded by his loyal subjects, and it fueled him. Forgetting everyone around them Brian reached out and pulled Justin to him.


	5. Chapter 5

At a loss for words, but still needing to respond in some way to the feelings swirling inside him, Brian slashed his mouth against Justin's. For several seconds, they mirrored the canvas. The painting was one more tool for Justin to show his love to Brian. It was one more way of publicly showing his commitment. Justin reached out and placed a hand to Brian's neck. He kissed Brian back with the same fever briefly and then pulled back.

Brian opened his eyes to see Justin smiling softly. The air between them was electric. Justin's hand gently stroked the side of Brian's neck, letting his fingers glide towards the hairline. There was so much to say, to reestablish. Justin knew that tonight was going to be another turning point for them as a couple. He knew what he was going to have to tell Brian what was going on in his head. They were going to argue later, but Justin wasn't ready to think about it just yet. There was too much _now_ to think about.

Looking intently into Brian's eyes, Justin spoke quietly, "I think that we need to get out of here."

They had been together at the gallery opening for close to two hours. The crowd was still thick with critics, the wealthy, and the haves and have-nots of the current art scene. The pair's friends were still around as well. This was Justin's party and he had decided that he could leave if he wanted to.

"Are you sure?" Brian asked Justin, his head cocked and face serious. He did not want Justin to have to leave his opening for him unless the blonde was very sure. However, Brian was fairly certain that he was not going to be able to contain what was inside him for very much longer.

"Of this? Absolutely," Justin said, shaking his head and pushing his face up for a quick kiss, "Anyway, isn't always better to go out on top?"

Brian grinned and then raising an eyebrow said, "I've always thought so Sunshine, but don't you think that your adoring fans will miss you?"

Justin turned in Brian's arms and looked out into the crowd. This is what his art had created. His art was going to make a difference to the world. People were going to see it and talk about it. People were going to see that there was no difference for Gays or Straights when it came to love. Love was love. Commitment was commitment. Family was family.

Leaning back into Brian, Justin sighed. Brian drew his arms around the blonde's waist and held him tightly. Drawing his face down, Brian whispered, "Well, Sunshine?"

Lifting his face Justin smiled, "The only 'adoring fan' I care about is you. Give me a minute and we'll be out of here." He squeezed Brian's arms and pulled away. He shot Brian a look over his shoulder, "Don't go away."

Brian nodded, his throat closing. He watched Justin step into the crowd and easily navigate through it. Occasionally, he was stopped by a critic or by a well-wisher. He was still watching when Michael came up to him. Brian was aware of his presence, but unable to look away from the younger man.

Michael turned to look at what had captivated his best friend, although, he already knew. He watched Justin smile and nod in agreement with something that a twiggy brunette woman was saying to him. Justin then nodded again at her and then slipped away into a side door. Michael watched as Brian let out the breath that he had been holding.

The long familiar ache for Brian was still present, but now less intensified. He still knew that there was a part of him that would always be in love with Brian. That would never change, but his longing had. Michael no longer resented Justin or that Brian loved him. He had Ben and they had a good life. He now only wanted the same for Brian.

"He's come a long way hasn't he Mikey?" Brian stated as he turned and looked again at his own image on the canvass hanging on the wall. It wasn't a real question Michael knew. It was more of a statement of fact.

Michael smiled. So have you, he thought. "Well, he couldn't stay that scared kid under the lamppost forever," he quipped, thinking about that first night they had seen Justin. He had be seventeen and looked terrified of the comings and goings of a night on Liberty Avenue. Michael shook his head at the memory. If someone had told him that same scared kid would be the downfall of Pittsburgh's hottest and most unavailable stud, Michael would have laughed in their face.

Brian turned his face to his friend. Michael caught a glimpse of the hunger in Brian, the barely restrained composure. He knew when Brian was reaching the end of his patience, just like he knew that Brian was struggling with his need to put Justin first. Michael was fully aware of how long it had been since the couple had seen each other. Chuckling, Michael said, "Go get him and get out of here. I'll tell everyone that they can catch you later."

Brian hesitated a moment and then grinned wickedly, "I just might do that." Kissing his friend goodbye, Brian stepped out into the crowd to find Justin.

Weaving through the flood of people, he spotted Justin easily. The blonde was surrounded by several more people all wanting to get a word with the latest art sensation. Justin had put on an attractive black jacket, a black shoulder bag slung across his chest. In his hand he held the red roses Brian had brought him. When he saw Brian push through to him he lit up.

"Are you ready?" Brian asked over the din of voices.

Justin nodded. Saying goodbye to the people around him, he let Brian lead him out to the front of the gallery. Brian took his own bag from an attendant and slung it over a shoulder. Reaching down, he took Justin's hand and led him out onto the rainy street. Giddy, but trying to remain cool, Justin gave in for a moment at the pure wonder of Brian Kinney willingly holding his hand.

Brian started to put his other hand in the air to hail a cab, when Justin stopped him saying, "You were fashionably late. We should probably leave fashionably too."

Justin motioned to a sleek dark black limo pulling up slowly to the curb where they were standing. After stopping, an attractive, well-muscled man in a chauffeur's uniform stepped out of the vehicle.

"Never let it be said that I couldn't recognize an excellent idea when I heard one," Brian said to Justin with a smirk.

"I thought you'd approve," Justin said with certainty.

The attractive chauffeur eyed both men appreciatively, and then opened the door for them. Climbing inside, Brian and Justin placed their bags on the seats across from them and then settled into their own rich leather seats. Before the chauffeur closed door behind them Brian was reaching out and grabbing Justin's jacket lapels. They kissed hot and hungrily. Pulling Justin into his lap, for better access, Brian pushed his hands under Justin's jacket and shirt. He had to have Justin's skin against his. Justin moaned into Brian's mouth and then moaned again when the chauffeur cleared his throat loudly.

Ripping his mouth away from Justin's, Brian snarled at the driver "What?" A man could only be expected to take so much.

"Ah… Mr. Taylor? Where can I take you tonight?" the driver asked nervously.

Justin took pity on the man. Hell had no fury like a sexually frustrated Brian Kinney, "take us on a tour of the city for the next hour and then take us back to my place."

"Yes sir," the driver replied and then closed the privacy window.

Not waiting for the window to be fully shut, Brian continued his assault on Justin's mouth. He went to quick work on Justin's jacket, pulling it down and trapping the blonde's arms. Justin pulled his mouth away and arched his neck giving Brian access to his throat. Panting, Justin struggled against the jacket. He too wanted to touch and taste. "Are you going to let me go?" he asked with a laugh.

Brian pulled back and gave him a heated expression. Brian knew he was referring to the jacket, but like so many other times between them, he also knew his answer was going to mean so much more. "No," he replied, "I don't think I can."

Justin stilled and thought how was it possible to love someone so much and survive? How was it possible to want someone this much? Closing his eyes, Justin smiled tenderly. He relaxed his arms and let Brian continue his ministrations.

Brian easily moved forward, twisting so that he was now in front of Justin, his knees pressing into the thick carpet of the floorboard. Reaching up, he pulled Justin's arms free of the jacket completely. Then in a swift motion, pulled Justin's shirt off. Once free of the garments, Justin's hands instantly went to the buttons of Brian's shirt. Brian pushed him back into the seat and kissed down his chest. Justin gasped when Brian hands stroked his thighs. He could feel the warmth of Brian's hands through the cloth of his pants. With swift motions, Brian opened Justin's pants pulling them down far enough to release his swollen cock.

Always helpful, Justin lifted his hips to provide Brian better access. Needing no encouragement, Brian's mouth went to work. In sure strokes he drove Justin crazy. It was agony and heaven together and he needed more.


	6. Chapter 6

Justin moaned and arched his hips towards Brian. The feelings intensified inside him, rocketing him into the atmosphere. When the sensations finally forced him over the edge, he came long and hard. Panting, Justin collapsed back into the leather seat, his eyes closed, body quaking occasionally.

Grinning ruefully, Brian looked up at his younger counterpart. Justin looked destroyed, and Brian felt pretty great about that. He loved knowing what he could to Justin even after all the time that they had been apart. He also loved knowing that this was just the beginning and very soon he'd be just as destroyed. Justin opened his eyes, and saw Brian grinning.

"Mmm," Justin said with a pleased smile, "Nice to know you haven't lost your touch. Lucky me."

"Lucky for you, I can do many things," replied Brian, reaching up and then pulling Justin's face toward him. His mouth found Justin's kissing him again with ferocious intensity. Moments past and more clothing was pulled open or totally removed. Hot skin met hot skin. Fast roaming hands found hard muscles and rediscovered sensitive spots. Their breathing became as hot as their bodies, steaming the windows.

Quickly getting over being dazed, Justin fought Brian for control. This would not be a soft lovemaking; there would be time for that later. This time would be hard and fierce. Pushing at them both until there was nothing else left in the world but the two of them. Pushing them to remember everything that they were, and everything that they would be. This would be about need. This would be about reclaiming something that had been just out of reach for both of them for so long.

Putting everything he had into his actions, Justin pushed Brian to the very edge. He slid his hands into Brian's hair, pulling him back so he could have access to his neck. Justin kissed and licked, savoring the taste that was uniquely Brian. He heard Brian gasp and felt triumphant. Justin knew with a very real certainty, that he was the only one in the world who could make Brian Kinney feel the way he did right in that moment.

Without warning, Brian flipped Justin onto his back to he was again pressed into the soft leather of the seats. Reaching out, Brian grabbed his overnight bag. After tearing open the zipper, he rummaged through the bag until he found the condoms that he was looking for.

Selecting one then ripping open the packet, Brian quickly and expertly don the latex. Still breathing heavily, Justin moved to give Brian space. Coming back to Justin, his own breath unsteady, he pulled the blonde's legs up and over his shoulders. Looking down into Justin's flushed face he said hoarsely, "tell me that you love me."

"I love you. I love you Brian. I love…" Justin's words became caught in his throat as Brian began to press into him. It wasn't easy. Even with all their intense preparation, it wasn't easy. Brian began with careful, yet deliberate strokes, until he was able to easily slide in and out of the wet heat of Justin's body. Soon those deliberate strokes became harder, bringing groans from both men as the pleasure built and, finally took them both over.

Brian collapsed onto Justin, burying his face into to his crook of the younger man's neck. He felt Justin wrap his arms around him and entwine their legs. He trembled and let himself be held, reveling in the feeling of homecoming.

"Just let go Brian. I've got you," Justin said gently, breaking into his thoughts. Pushing up, he stared down again into the face of the man who had become his everything.

"I've got you," Justin said again, this time, reaching up to kiss Brian's face.

"Yeah. I guess you do."

Feeling raw, he looked into Justin's eyes. This was going to be another of those moments where he was pushed to the emotional edge. Another of those brief times when he was pushed out of his "fuck it all" comfort zone and lay himself down in front of an emotional freight train. Starting to panic, he bit his lip before saying, "I didn't expect this."

Wanting to soothe, Justin said quietly, "I know you didn't."

He was fairly sure he knew what Brian was talking about. He understood that when they had met, even after, Brian had no intention of loving him- of sharing his life with him, or anyone. Justin knew that deep down, even after all they had shared, Brian still didn't believe that he was actually loveable. He understood that even now, Brian was keeping his expectations low, metaphorically waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for Justin to come to his senses. Oh, my love, Justin thought, the only thing that makes sense to me is you.

Since Justin knew how incredibly hard it was for Brian to express his real feelings with words, he gently smiled. He wasn't going to push Brian here. It wasn't the time for that, not when they were in the back of a limo that was starting to slow down. Later, we'll talk about this later, he thought, but not much later.

"I guess our tour of the city is about over," Justin said switching gears, "Did you see anything you wanted to see again the next time your town?"

Brian was no fool. Justin was giving him an out, and for now, he was going to take it. He gave a classic leer before pushing back to admire Justin's body, "I saw couple of things I wouldn't mind seeing again, but preferably in a bed. Your tenement does have a bed doesn't it?"

Justin rolled his eyes and then teasingly put his hand to Brian's face and pushed him the rest of the way off his body so he could sit up.

After a few minutes of clean up and clothes fumbling, Justin suddenly grinned at Brian. "You know, I think this is the first time we've ever done it in a limo."

Unable to help himself, Brian let out a chuckle. "You may be right… let's think about this," he said as he zipped up his over night bag, "there was that time we fucked in the air."

"Well, you couldn't be the only one in this relationship who's a card caring member of the Mile High Club," Justin replied cheekily, "and don't forget the numerous times in the Jeep and then the 'Vet."

"So that's planes and automobiles. We're just missing trains. I guess we could try the subway. Sex in public has never been a problem for us."

"It's a good thing that you're open-minded Sunshine."

"Open-mindedness is a virtue."

With a smile and an arched brow, Brian pulled Justin to him, "Patience is a virtue; open-mindedness is just a perk."

Justin gave Brian a quick kiss and then smiled. "Perks are always fun. As a matter-of-."

"Excuse me, Mr. Taylor?" the chauffer interrupted nervously through a small intercom located on the limousine's wall panel.

"Yes?" Justin answered, trying not to be overly amused at the man's understandable apprehensiveness. Brian's earlier barking could have made just about anyone shake in his or her boots.

"We've reached your destination, sir, and luckily, the rain's stopped."

"Wonderful. We're ready for you."

They waited for the driver to come around and open the door for them. Then, after pulling themselves, the roses, and their various bags out of the limo, Brian waited for Justin as he spoke to the driver and tipped him.

Even if the driver hadn't been painfully aware of what they had been doing in the back of his limo, it would have been obvious now. Both men were now rumpled and just a little messy; their mouths kiss swollen. Justin had a slight red mark of stubble burn on the side of his neck. Brian ran a hand over his jaw. There had been no time to shave before making his plane. He smiled a bit and thought about how there was a very real possibility that he had some marks inflicted by Justin on his own person. He hoped so.

Justin talked to the driver with quiet assurance as he thanked the man and tipped him. The man murmured something to the blonde that Brian couldn't quite catch due to the noise of the street. He watched as Justin gave an amused smile and shook his head giving a polite, but firm "no, thanks."

That's right, Brian thought. He wasn't going to share Justin with anyone tonight. This was their time and there wasn't a whole hell of a lot of it. He'd be damned if he spent any of their time fucking some trick. Feeling possessive, Brian walked the few steps over to step behind Justin, wrapping an arm around his middle. He gave the driver one of his best "back-the-fuck-off" looks. Not needing to be told twice, the man hastily got back into his vehicle and after giving to couple one last hopeful glance, drove away.

Justin rolled his eyes before turning around to face Brian. A streetlamp lit the sidewalk and haloed its light around Brian's tall frame. His mouth pulled into a sinful half smile, his hazel eyes giving a look of arrogance that Justin found irresistible.

"So what do you think about my apartment building," Justin asked, although he already knew Brian would find it below par.

Brian looked up at the building, taking in the aging brick and mortar. The building was shabby and sadly aged. It was certainly a step down from his loft Pittsburg, and an even bigger step down from Britin, the estate Brian had bought for them in West Virginia. Carefully, Brian considered before allowing Justin to pulling him up the brick steps of the front stoop.

"I just have one question".

"What's that?"

"Did the rain wash away the chalk body outlines?"

Justin playfully slapped at Brian's shoulder before replying, "Shut up. It's not that bad." He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his keys. Sighing, Brian followed as Justin started up the front stairs.

"Not that bad? Justin. It's a hovel. It might as well have 'death' written all over it."

Opening the glass front door Justin laughed, "It will do for now. Besides, if you think it's bad on the outside, just wait till you see the _inside_."

Snickering, Brian let himself be pulled through the doorway. For some reason, he couldn't wait.


End file.
